Living in Death's Shadow
by Kitty T's Keyboard
Summary: Isabelle Larose doesn't have very high hopes for her third foster home, but the kind Charlie Swan slowly starts to break through her walls. In the small town of Forks, she discovers that some fairy tales are real. Characters altered from originals, longer summary inside. Rated M for mature subject matter. Please review!
1. Chapter One: Forks

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. This story is going to have some mature subject matter in it, so it might not be right for some readers. Rated M for mature.**

_**A brief summary, **__(which you can skip, if you want to leave more for surprise later on : ) _

_Isabelle Larose's life had been dark since her mother died when she was eight. Her hopes weren't set very high for her third foster home since her father died in a car crash when she was sixteen, but Charlie Swan slowly starts to make it past the walls that she had built around herself, and works hard to earn her trust. When she becomes friends with a boy named Jacob Black, her life finally starts to turn around. When her worst fears become her reality, will she ever be able to recover again? Fate seems to bring her in a full circle when she meets Doctor Masen, a mysterious man that seems determined to help her for his own, unknown reasons._

**Chapter One :: Forks**

I sat in silence with my social worker on the three and a half hour journey from Seattle to the small town of Forks. Renee was a sweet woman. She had been the closest thing to someone who cared about me since my mother's accident. No, that wasn't fair. I knew that she truly did care about me; I bet she would have offered to take me in herself if she didn't already have three young children.

I watched the trees rush by in a blur of green, the heavy rain making everything blend together. There were hardly any other cars on the road as we passed the "Welcome to Forks, Washington" sign, and it seemed so quiet. It was a nice change from the city, but I still did not want to be here.

"Do I have to do this?" I asked her quietly. I didn't look at her, afraid that she might see my fear if she looked into my eyes. I felt her watching me for a moment before she replied.

"I'm sorry Isabelle, but Mr. Swan is a really good guy, and I think this will be good for you." I felt her soft hand on my arm, and I closed my eyes. "Please, trust me." After a moment, I nodded slightly. I refused to let myself cry anymore; I had wasted too much of my life on that already. In nine more months, I would be eighteen. I would be able to access my trust fund, and be free to live on my own. Even if this place didn't work out either, it would probably be the last foster home they put me in. The process usually took quite a while.

The town seemed very small, nothing like Seattle. It felt like the majority of it was off of one long main road, and all of the establishments had very uncreative names; 'Diner,' 'Grocery Store,' 'Hospital.' The High School was tiny compared to my last, and I hoped that wouldn't make it too hard to just blend in. After taking a couple side streets, she pulled down a short dead end and parked in front of a small, two-story house right next to the forest. I immediately stiffened, the police cruiser in the driveway doing nothing to make me feel more comfortable. I shot a look at Renee, raising an eyebrow. We were in the middle nowhere.

"I know," she said sympathetically. "But I've met with him three times already. He gives me a really good vibe, and I think you'll like him." She turned off the engine, and went to unlock the trunk. I took a deep breath to steady myself, and got out of the car. Grabbing the second of my two large suitcases, I followed Renee up the walk way, and watched as she rang the doorbell.

Charlie Swan looked to be in his late forties. He had dark brown hair that was peppered with grey, and warm chocolate brown eyes. When he smiled, the sides of his eyes crinkled slightly. He didn't have that slightly-off look that made me so uncomfortable from the first moment I had met George. I still did not know this man in the slightest though. I gripped my grey suitcase tightly.

"Hey Mr. Swan," Renee said warmly.

"Please, come in before you get soaked." He seemed slightly nervous; there was the faintest shake in his friendly voice. I walked in behind Renee, but didn't copy her when she put down the suitcase she was carrying. She spoke as she started to unbutton her coat.

"So Charlie, let me finally introduce you to Isabelle Larose. Isabelle, this is Mr. Swan." He put out his hand with a nervous smile, and I slowly shifted my suitcase to one hand before taking it.

"You can just call me Charlie. I'm really happy to finally meet you Isabelle." He sounded really genuine about it, but I was still having trouble speaking. He relaxed slightly, and I felt like he could sense just how nervous and uncomfortable I was. "Can I take your suitcase for you kiddo?" He asked gently, and I let him take it out of my hand.

"Thank you," I finally forced out, and I winced at hearing it come out as more of a squeak. Renee put a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry about it," he said happily, and grabbed the other suitcase with his free hand. "Why don't you guys follow me upstairs, and you can both check out Isabelle's room."

"That's a great idea," she said, and I followed the two of them upstairs. At the top of the wooden staircase there was a small bathroom, with a bedroom on each side.

"There's the bathroom. My room's the one on the left," he said, nodding his head. "And you're over here." He pushed the half-closed door open with the suitcase in his left hand, and set them down gently once he was inside the room. "Do you like purple? It's what the saleswoman recommended. Sorry," he said awkwardly.

It was the biggest bedroom I had had since I left my actual home. There was a twin sized bed on the left side of the room with purple sheets and a white down comforter. On the opposite side of the window that was centered on the back wall was a small corner desk with shelves. It had a plain wooden chair in front of it. On the right wall there was a wooden dresser that had a few sets of towels, and an extra set of sheets stacked on the top. I blinked really hard to stop the stinging in my eyes.

"If you really don't like them we can go out and you can pick some new ones," I hadn't realized that I'd forgotten to speak, and interrupted him quickly.

"No! Purple's great. Thank you very much Mr. Swan, this is really nice." I was only with Rita and Carl for a month and a half, but the guest room they had me staying in reeked of cigarettes, the paint on the walls yellowed from tobacco smoke. Then Rita got pregnant. Six months later is when I went to live with Tara and George, and they had me sharing a room with their two daughters. Between those places and the ward, I was more than content with this.

"Please, just Charlie," he reminded me. I gave him a small smile and nodded.

"Why don't you get a little settled in Isabelle, and I'm going to go downstairs and do some paperwork with Charlie." She gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and they both left me alone. I stood and listened to them walk down the creaky wooden stairs. I heard Renee open up the clips on her briefcase, and the rumble of her voice as she started having him sign some legal contracts. I picked up my suitcases and laid them gently against the wall beneath the window beside each other. I opened the lock on the grey one on the left, and lifted the lid. I took out the quilt that my mother had made me as a child, my most prized possession, and laid it out across my bed. Then I took out my frayed copy of Wuthering Heights and placed it on my desk. I stared down at the remainder of its contents; a few other worn books, some photo albums, my shower bag, an old stuffed animal, my silver pocket knife. I took the shower bag out also, setting it on the dresser, and hesitated in front of the open suitcase. Slowly, I looked up and out of the window.

It was a delicate, peaceful view into Charlie's small backyard, sitting on the edge of the forest. Little bits of snow clung to the branches of the thick pine trees, and brown dead leaves covered the forest floor. The rain was pouring down the glass, and I could hear nothing but the faint sound of Renee's and Charlie's voices downstairs. It was too quiet. I sighed, took out my pocket knife, slipped it into my pillowcase, and locked my suitcase before sitting down on the bed. I knew Renee would be telling Charlie things about me, things that had happened in my past, and I had no desire to listen to the story. I closed my eyes, and concentrated on the pattering of the rain against the siding of the house.

* * *

Renee called for me almost an hour later, and I went downstairs and joined them in a small kitchen. There was a round wooden table in the middle of the room with three mismatched chairs. I sat in the one empty one, and noted that it matched the one in my bedroom. The one in my room was in a little bit better of shape, and I wondered if he had purposely put the nicest one in my room.

Renee sat with us for about two hours, talking little as possible and watching me as Charlie engaged me in small talk. He told me a bit about himself; he was the Chief of Police in the small town of Forks, never married and didn't have any kids. He had lived here his entire life, liked watching sports games and fishing. He asked me about my hobbies, what types of food I liked, what my favourite movies were and all sorts of easy questions. I had never been good at making polite conversation, but I got the feeling that he wasn't either, and was trying very hard. So I tried my best to keep up my end and make it easier on him. When six rolled around, and the sky had begun to darken, Renee cleared her throat and my stomach clenched.

"Well I think you two are going to be just fine, so I better get on the road. It's a bit of a drive back to Seattle." Charlie and I both stood up quickly, at the exact same time, and Renee gave us a strange smile. We both walked with her to the front door. She buttoned up her pea coat and gave me a smile that was so loving it made my heart clench. I ignored the stinging sensation in my eyes again, but knew that she saw it. She was so perceptive with me. She pulled me into a tight hug, and I squeezed back almost desperately. "You'll be fine, I promise," she whispered before pulling away. "Well, I'll see you both again next Saturday, and you both have my number." She gave me a meaningful look as she said that, and I nodded in understanding.

"Drive safely, there are a lot of deer around here," Charlie said as she ran down the short path to her car through the rain. We watched her pull away, waving good bye, and stood in the doorway silently for an awkward moment.

"You want some pizza? I'm not much of a cook," he admitted shyly, breaking the silence.

"Sure, I like pizza." He smiled in relief, and I followed him to his living room. He sat down in a worn armchair, and gestured for me to take a seat on the couch while he dialed the phone and turned on the TV. Ugh, baseball. I found sports dreadfully boring to watch, the fact that I could barely walk in a straight line without injuring myself didn't help my interest. It was his house though, and I wouldn't say anything to upset him. At least we wouldn't be sitting in awkward silence. After he was done on the phone, I felt like he was trying to look at me without actually _looking_ at me. He ruffled his hair slightly, and I wondered if it was some sort of nervous habit.

"You have a really nice house Charlie," I said, just wanting to say something. I was trying not to fidget, or make it too obvious that I just wanted to go upstairs and hide by myself behind a book. He seemed to relax a bit.

"Thanks Isabelle. I'm sorry; I'm really not good at this sort of stuff. It's probably obvious, but you're the first, uhm…"

"Foster kid?" I supplied for him. He nodded with an odd expression, like he didn't like the word. Or maybe it was just me, did I say it rudely? Did I upset him somehow? I felt my nails dig into the couch cushion.

"I'm not exactly sure what to do," he confessed, face gentle once again. My hands relaxed. He finally made eye contact, and I wasn't sure what the expression on his face represented. He turned his chair to face me more directly. "Surely you must have more questions?" It was almost a plea for help. I tried not to be too obvious about the deep breath I took to calm myself. _Come on, I've done this twice before; I can handle it one more time._

"What's your work schedule like?" I was proud that it came out clearly, my voice didn't shake.

"Well it changes sometimes depending on the work load, but for next couple weeks it should just be Monday to Friday, eight to five. Once you're settled in though, I'll be going back in earlier."

"You really don't need to alter your schedule for me," I said quietly, then was immediately anxious. Of course he wouldn't want to leave a strange kid alone in his house, what if he thought I was trying to get him to leave so that I could rob him?

"Don't worry about it," he waved it off, peaking at the score. It looked like some sort of bird team was beating a team with a cat logo. I had succeeded in getting the ball rolling. "So I'll be dropping you off at school Monday. Classes start at a quarter after seven but we'll have to go in early Monday morning. You're enrolled and expected, but there's some paperwork that you need to fill out. I'll be able to pick you up afterwards, but I'll have to drop you off at home and go back to work for a couple hours." He was going to trust me alone in his house? "I feel like I ought to warn you though. It's a small town, and they don't get new kids too often. You might stand out a bit," he said sympathetically. Oh, great. "Well, we did actually have a few other new kids a little while back, they were a big deal for a little while apparently, but they moved away again not long ago." It had been years? Oh god, I bet the majority of kids here had grandparents that went to school with each other. It was worse enough that I was transferring into the school in December, the semester already started months ago, and if I hadn't fit in with a school of a few thousand, how would I fit into a school of only a few hundred? I was a grade ahead though, so thankfully this would be my last year.

"But we'll have tomorrow all to ourselves. So if you're up for it, we can go for a drive and I can show you around town, and we'll stop and pick up some groceries and get you whatever sort of food you like, and anything else that you need. Then maybe we could go out for dinner?"

I was a little overwhelmed. This isn't how it worked. He gave me my own room, would let me stay in his house without watching me twenty-four-seven, wanted to take me out shopping and buy me things. It was too much, too good to be true, and therefore there was some sort of catch. I started feeling uneasy.

"Why?" I blurted out apprehensively.

He gave me a confused look. "Why what?"

There were a lot of why's, but I narrowed down my choices and decided on only two. "Why did you apply for a foster child? Why did you want me here?"

I'm not sure what he heard in my voice. As he contemplated his response, I tried to determine what emotion was playing on his features. Disappointment, sadness, anger? "I never had kids, but that didn't mean that I didn't _want_ kids. I'm getting older now though, and I don't want to settle down or adopt a baby. I guess… I was just a bit lonely." He watched for my reaction, but I gave him none. I was still waiting for the catch, but not really wanting to say something and upset him. He furrowed his eyebrows, stood up, and sat down beside me on the couch. I slightly shifted away, but I think he saw it. He made no attempt to touch me though. "Isabelle. I know you've been through a lot of horrible things in your life." I hated that Renee had to tell them about my past, it made me feel weak. And I was _not_ weak. "I know it will probably take you a while to believe me, but I want you to know that you are safe here. I don't want anything from you, besides maybe a bit of your time. I won't make you do anything that you don't want to do, except go to school. I just want to give you a chance to be happy. I won't send you away or return you like defected merchandise. I won't hurt you. My home is _your_ home now, for as long as you want it to be."

It was hard not to believe the sincerity that was in his voice and in his eyes as he spoke, but I refused to let my hopes get too high. It wasn't worth the pain of the fall. Not wanting to upset him either though, I did what I did best in awkward conversations. Steer away from them. "I actually like school," I said, slightly smiling. He raised an eyebrow before smiling back genuinely at me. That moment the doorbell rang, causing us both to jump.

"Good, so there won't be any arguments then," he said lightly, walking over to the door while pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.

We sat in his living room together and ate dinner, and I watched him in my peripherals as he jumped excitedly when one team would make a point or goal, whatever it was, and grumbled annoyingly when the other team did likewise. As I watched him relax into what I assumed was his regular behaviour, I felt myself relaxing also. A while after we finished, I tried, and failed, to hide a yawn.

"Hey kiddo, you don't have to keep me company. Feel free to head up to your room if you want. I left some towels on your dresser if you want to take a shower or whatever." I tried not to be obvious with my relief, glad that apparently he wasn't the hovering type.

"Thanks Mr.-" He gave me a pointed look,"- uh, thanks Charlie. Goodnight."

"Good night Isabelle. Don't be shy to ask if you need anything." I nodded, and went upstairs to my room.

It was as good of a time as any to check out the shower, so I grabbed my toiletry bag, a pair of pyjamas and a towel, and slipped into the bathroom. I marveled at the fact that I would only be sharing a bathroom with one person. It took me a minute to figure out that the hot and cold markers were reversed, and once I got the water to warm up, I couldn't help my usual habit of rushing a bit. I was sure to clean up every spot of water and hair, making sure to leave Charlie's bathroom exactly as I had found it, then slipped back into my room. When I closed my door, I noticed a new eye-and-hook lock had been screwed in on my side of the room. I could lock out anyone from coming in, but couldn't be locked in myself. I didn't hesitate on latching it closed. After turning out my light and curling up in my familiar quilt, I was surprised to find how exhausted I was. I drifted off quickly, not being able to stop my hand from curling involuntarily around my pocket knife.

* * *

I woke up the next morning jumping at the sound of Charlie closing the bathroom door. I made my bed neatly, got dressed in a pair of jeans, a thin white t-shirt and a faded purple hoodie. After pulling my thick hair into a ponytail, I unlocked my door, and sat down cross-legged on my bed while opening up my book. An hour later, after listening to Charlie bang around in his kitchen, I smelt the delicious smell of bacon, and then heard him walk up the stairs. He paused for a moment before knocking gently on my door. I jumped up and opened it quickly.

I saw him take a quick survey of my room, but he didn't say anything about my still-packed suitcases. "Morning Isabelle. I cooked some breakfast if you're hungry."

"Okay," I said. He motioned for me to go ahead of him, so I walked out of my room and went downstairs.

It's not like I hadn't had someone cook me breakfast before. The women in the cafeteria made breakfast for everyone in the boarding house. But this was different. There were two plates on the table, each with a big pile of bacon, scrambled eggs and a piece of toast, and two glasses of orange juice. The last time someone had made breakfast _just_ for me was my Mom, before the accident. That was over eight years ago now. I felt the sting of tears in my eyes, and closed them tightly to suppress it. Charlie pulled out a chair for me, and ushered for me to sit down before taking a seat himself, like it was nothing at all.

"Don't worry, I won't be offended if you don't like it," he said as he started to dig into his plate. "I'm not much of a cook. This and burning hotdogs on the barbeque are about the extent of my capabilities." He smiled apologetically at me.

"No, this is great Charlie. Thank you," I said a bit thickly. He waved off my compliment, and we ate quietly for a moment. It wasn't uncomfortable though. I felt like we kind of connected, I was comfortable around him, which was a rare thing for me. Suddenly, I was desperate to try and make myself useful, to not be a burden to him. He didn't seem to hate me or anything, but I wanted this kind man to like me too. "I can cook," I said, startling him.

"What?" he said over a mouthful of scrambled eggs.

"I know how to cook. I don't mind cooking for you if you want." _Don't do this to yourself, it always ends up badly. You're just going to make the inevitable worse._

"You don't have to do that Isabelle. I've managed fine on my own for the past forty-eight years, I didn't ask for you because I wanted you to work for me." He sounded like he actually meant it. A lot of people, when they foster an older kid, expect them to pretty much be a free babysitter and house keeper. But those were things I was coincidentally good at.

"It wouldn't be work, it's something I actually enjoy." He raised an eyebrow, and I looked down at my plate. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to argue. I just don't want to be a burden. You've done so much for me already."

I think I heard him sigh, but he didn't yell at me like I had expected. "Isabelle, you are by far the most resigned seventeen-year-old I have ever met. I don't think that qualifies as an argument." His voice was very gentle, and I had to fight the burning sensation in my eyes from overpowering me. "If you really want to cook, you can cook. But don't think you need to earn your keep or any nonsense like that. You're not a burden." When it felt safe to open my eyes, I noticed that my fork was shaking in my hand and I put it down. I smiled as best as I could for him, and I was rewarded with another of his eye-crinkling grins.

After we finished eating I automatically went to take his plate to wash. He made to grab my arm, and I flinched away, dropping the plate on the table. "Sorry!" I squeaked, and he pulled his arm back to his side quickly.

"No no, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

I nodded silently. He didn't move, and I hesitantly picked up the plate again and washed the dishes quickly. I swear that I felt him watching me the entire time, but he didn't say anything. I was finished in only a couple minutes, and turned to face him.

Sure enough, he had been watching me, and I looked down at my feet, wishing I could stop the blood from rushing to my face. "Do you still want me to show you around town today?" He asked tentatively.

"Okay," I said quietly.

"Isabelle?" I looked up at him. "Thank you very much for washing the dishes." He almost sounded sad. "We can leave for that tour in a few minutes if you're ready." I nodded. "You should grab your coat though, it's chilly out."

Five minutes later, we were in his Police cruiser, pulling out of the driveway. I was slightly relieved when he didn't make me sit in the back. I paid close attention as we drove into town, trying to commit the names of the streets we took to memory. He showed me where my school was first, then the grocery store, his favourite diner (and the only restaurant in the small town I think,) the hardware store, the hospital. "We had two really amazing Doctors here a while ago. Really nice family. Him and his wife had adopted four teenagers, and his brother-in-law stayed with them also. He got another job offer not long ago and moved though. His were the kids I mentioned last night." Ah, the last 'new attractions' that the town had witnessed.

"What were their names?" I asked, just trying to keep up conversation.

"There was Doctor Cullen, and Doctor Masen," he said, pulling back into the grocery store parking lot. I looked up at him in surprise. "What? Did you know them?"

"A Doctor with the last name Cullen did surgery on me before, when I was sixteen. He saved my life," I told him. I didn't really remember much about him. He had transferred to a new hospital before I got off of the high dosages of pain meds. All I could really remember were his eyes. I had never seen eyes that resembled liquid gold like that before. I knew that he had done the difficult surgery though, and I would never forget the name of the man who had saved my life.

"What a neat coincidence," Charlie said as he pulled into a parking spot. "Can I ask what you were in the hospital for?"

"I fell down some stairs. Ended up breaking a few ribs and they had to stop some internal bleeding." I said quickly. I didn't return his wide-eyed stare, but instead opened up my door, stepped out of the car, and immediately fell on my ass. God, ice did not help the un-coordinated. Charlie rushed to my side, but I was already standing myself up and brushing the slush off of my coat. "Well I guess it's not too hard to believe you fell down the stairs," he said, trying to make a joke. A vision of my father's enraged face, the last time I had ever seen him, flashed in my mind for half of a second. I pushed the thought away and forced a laugh.

I asked Charlie what his favourite meals were, and wasn't surprised to hear that he was a meat and potatoes type of guy. We walked up and down all of the isles, inspecting their selections carefully. Charlie eyed the amount of vegetables and fruit I selected as if they had verbally insulted them, but didn't say anything.

"Is this too much?" I asked, panicking slightly. I didn't have much money.

"No no, not at all. I just didn't think people actually ate those things."

"Things? You mean squash?"

"If that's what it's called than sure." I couldn't help laughing at his tone, and when he smiled at me I felt my face go red.

"Hey Chief Swan," a boy behind him said. He had sandy blond hair, much lighter than mine, and looked close to my age. He smiled at me strangely; it wasn't a look that I was used to.

"Hey Mike." He followed his gaze. "Oh sorry, Isabelle, this is Mike Newton. His parents own the sporting goods store that I showed you earlier. Mike, this is Isabelle Larose, she's going to be staying with me from now on." I stared at Charlie, surprised once again by his words. I would have expected to hear 'foster kid' or 'staying with me for a little while' maybe, but not _staying with me from now on_. I gingerly took Mike's outstretched hand and shook it.

"Well, it's really nice to meet you Isabelle. I take it you'll be going to school here?"

"Um, yeah. Senior year."

His smile got bigger. "Me too." An older woman, hair the same colour as his, called his name. "Well I gotta go, nice to meet you Isabelle. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" I nodded, and he hurried over to help his mother, I assumed, to pick up a flat of pop.

"Not very social, are you?" Charlie asked with a bit of a smirk.

"Sorry," I said automatically. I must have seemed rude.

"Don't worry, I'm not either."

* * *

Once we got back to his house, I helped Charlie carry in the groceries, slipping on the slush once again. He held out a hand to help me up, waiting for me to take it instead of just grabbing onto my arm. After a moment, I took it, and he smiled gently after I assured him I was okay. I helped him put everything away, learning the layout of his kitchen in the process. Once we were done, I cleaned myself up a little before he took me out for an early dinner. It was a little weird because every single person seemed to know him, and by the time we got back I had a bit of a head ache from trying to remember so many names. Or maybe that was from hitting my head on the table when I dropped my napkin. I shouldn't have been so overwhelmed though, it wasn't like this was my first or even second time going through this process, but things felt really different this time.

I excused myself once we were back at the house, and Charlie didn't seem to mind, telling me that I should get plenty of rest for tomorrow. I took a shower, trying to force myself not to rush, and braided my wet hair so it wouldn't be too crazy in the morning. It had a mind of its own most of the time. I quietly locked my door, turned off my light, and curled up into my bed. As soon as I felt the cool piece of metal in my pillowcase I fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up at four in the morning, and couldn't get back to sleep. I didn't dare close my eyes for longer than a blink whenever I had that dream, for fear of re-entering it. The image of my mother's face, dripping with blood in the upside down car, her blank eyes staring at me, past me, through me with lifelessness. Her scream was silent, but still visible on her face. My heart was beating fast, my throat felt painfully swollen, and my eyes burned with unshed tears as I tried to calm my breathing_. No, you will not cry. You will not cry_, I told myself. The chant wasn't helping, so I flicked on my light, got dressed for the day as silently as possible, and continued reading my book. The familiar words soothed me. I put all of my concentration into reading the words slowly and loudly in my mind, drowning out all errant thoughts. When I heard Charlie start his shower I slipped downstairs. I grabbed an apple, and munched on it while I got the ingredients together to make an omelette for him. I was just sliding it onto a plate for him as he walked into the kitchen.

"Is this for me?" He asked in shock. I nodded, and went to finish my dishes. "Wow Isabelle. This. Is. Amazing." He said, and I smiled. I sat with him as he finished his coffee, observing him in uniform from the corner of my eye. He had a gun holstered on his hip and everything, and looked all the part of Chief of Police. Once he was done, we headed out to his cruiser. I walked very carefully, determined not to get soaked in slush on my first day at a new school. I was happy that the parking lot was close to empty, and assured Charlie that I could handle the paperwork on my own. It was bad enough being the new kid, the thought of being escorted around by the Chief of Police in uniform on my first day was painful. He dropped me off in front of the head office, wishing me luck and offering me a sympathetic smile.

The receptionist was a very sweet woman. She looked to be in her late thirties, with a rounder face, dyed red hair and a big smile. She didn't ask me any prying questions and she had me read and sign the school's code of conduct and read over the few pages of their rules and guidelines. After she gave me a few pamphlets, my schedule and a map of the school grounds, she asked me if I wanted her to walk me to my first class. I saw something akin to pity in her eyes, and declined politely. I didn't need or want anyone's pity, and tried not to let her expression annoy me as I walked back out into the rain, face buried in my map. I hoped to memorize it quickly; I didn't want to be stumbling around with my face hidden behind a piece of paper all day. The parking lot had filled up quickly, and at the moment the map was helping me avoid all of the curious stares I could feel watching me.

I made it to my first class without incident. Calculus. It wasn't my best subject, but I had been in an early advanced class at my last school. They didn't have anything like that at this school, and I was confident that I would breeze through my classes here. I introduced myself to my teacher, and was completely horrified by the fact that he made me introduce myself to the class before he pointed me to the one empty seat next to a girl with long brown hair. The teacher said that they would start by going over last night's home work, and I tried inconspicuously to peek at the page number on my neighbor's textbook. She caught me.

"It's page 307, we had to do all of the odd numbered questions,' she whispered.

"Thanks."

"I'm Angela by the way. It's nice to meet you."

"Isabelle. And it's nice too met you too," I said, mirroring her friendly smile. I was worried that she would start asking me questions and get me in trouble with the teacher, but we sat in comfortable silence for the rest of the class. The teacher assigned our new homework, and we had the last ten minutes of class to get started. I finished half.

"What's your next class?" Angela asked me politely. I handed my time table over to her. "Oh, I have English too. I can walk with you if you'd like," she offered shyly.

"Oh, um, sure. Thanks," I stuttered. She went back to her homework then, and I smiled a bit. I think I liked this girl, but reminded myself again not to get too attached. The bell rang, and I brought a sheet to the teacher to sign, and walked with Angela to our next class. She helpfully pointed out the washrooms, the library, the gym and the cafeteria on the way. We entered our second class and she waved goodbye as she went to take her seat. Thankfully this teacher didn't feel the need to make me embarrass myself again as he handed me a text book, a copy of Romeo and Juliet, and pointed me to my seat. There were a few muffled giggles as I caught myself on the corner of his desk, but luckily it didn't knock me over completely. I made my way over to my chair, which was next to none other than Mike Newton.

"Hey Isabelle," he said comfortably, like we were old friends. "How was your first class?"

"It was fine. Calculus. Angela seems really nice." The teacher wrote down the reading assignment on the board, then started writing out questions. I smiled; I had read Romeo and Juliet at least four times. It was as close to memorized as I could get without an identic memory. I started writing out the questions quickly, answering each one before I wrote out the next, while Mike kept asking me questions of his own. He wanted to know where I was from, what school I went to in Seattle, if I had a boyfriend there. Eventually he asked how I knew Charlie. "He applied into the foster care program, and I was sent here," I told him bluntly. I didn't see any point in trying to hide it. As I expected, the knowledge seemed to make him slightly uncomfortable, and he stopped asking me questions. I finished the work on the board, and realized that the rest of the class was just now doing the reading. I opened my book and tried to blend in. It wouldn't hurt reading it a fifth time I guess. When the class finished, I went to get my sheet signed and turned in my work, to the professor's surprise.

"You're finished? I was going to give you the week to catch up. The work isn't even due until tomorrow," he said, inspecting my answers. I shrugged.

"I already read the book," I explained uncomfortably.

"Oh, okay. Well good work. I'm sure you'll do just fine here," he told me, handing back the paper with his signature. Mike was waiting for me at the door, and gallantly offered to walk me to my next class. I didn't return any of the stares that followed us down the hall. When we stopped in front of the biology room, he asked me what I had after.

"Gym," I said, not being able to hide the disappointment in my voice.

"Me too," he said excitedly, "I'll see you there."

Everyone was already partnered up in pairs at the longer desks and I ended up sitting by myself, to my relief. No one would be bothering me with uncomfortable questions. I took notes as the teacher went about his lecture, and was a little disappointed that there wasn't anything new to learn. It was making the day almost painfully boring. I finished the worksheets that were handed out, then passed the rest of the time reading about cloud types in my textbook. The teacher stopped at my desk, seeing that I was reading something completely unrelated to the assigned work, and picked up my work sheets to inspect. He raised an eye brow at me.

"Were you in advanced biology at your last school by any chance?"

"Yeah, I finished last year," I told him quietly. He nodded, leaving me to myself as he took my work to his desk to correct.

Gym was even worse, and Mike volunteered to partner with me with for volleyball, despite my warnings. I was much better at hitting him with the ball than getting it over the net, and somehow managed to hit myself in the face with my own fist. I saw Angela give me a sympathetic smile, and was impressed that she didn't laugh. She invited me to sit with her for lunch, and I accepted gratefully.

Mike joined us at our table, and it was filled in minutes. Angela introduced me to her boyfriend Ben, and Mike introduced me to a bunch of other people whose names I just couldn't remember. A girl with blond hair, Jessica I think her name was, was watching him intently as he talked, shooting me curious glances every once in a while.

My last two classes, Spanish and History, went by a little faster, offering the first new knowledge of the day and brightening my mood. I was horrible at Spanish, having elected to study French at my last school, and the prospect of trying to learn another new language excited me. I didn't mind history either, there was just so much information, and my textbook promised some new, interesting reading material. Both of the professors were very patient with me, and gave me some extra work to help me catch up. There were only three weeks left before winter break, and they told me that I would be exempt for the winter midterms because I was new to the subjects, offering to let me do a few essays instead.

After going back to the main office, managing to dodge Mike on the way, I handed in my form that all of my teacher's had signed to the red-haired receptionist.

"Did your day go well sweetie?" She asked with genuine interest. I assured her that it had been fine, and was happy to see Charlie parked out front waiting for me.

"Hey kiddo, how was your first day?" he asked me as we pulled out of the parking lot slowly. Nothing slowed down traffic like a cop car.

"It was okay. The other kids seemed really nice. "

"That's good. I'm going to drop you off at home, but then I have to head back into work for a couple hours. You think you'll be okay by yourself for a little while?" He asked, sounding almost guilty. I assured him that I would be fine, and he handed me my own house key. I smiled mentally at the thought of not being locked out, and having to wait for someone else to let me in whenever I got home. His trust gave me a tight feeling in my chest.

I walked inside by myself, and went up to my room to make a list of the homework I would need to do. Charlie said that he would be home by five, and I decided to get some dinner started for him. I marinated a couple of steaks, cut up some potatoes, onions, mushrooms, and washed some lettuce for a small salad. By the time he got home, I had already finished my calculus homework, and I was plating the steaks and spooning the sautéed vegetables on top of them. He came and joined me in the kitchen.

"Wow Isabelle, this looks great. You're going to spoil me," he said, stomach growling audibly. He sat down as I put a plate down in front of him, and un-holstered his gun, setting it down on the table. I couldn't help jumping back slightly. Guns terrified me. He looked up in surprise, then frowned. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I'm just going to put this away upstairs, I'll be right back." I sat down shakily as I listened to him walk up to his bedroom.

Charlie asked me all sorts of questions about my day. I told him that I enjoyed Spanish and History, but didn't tell him how bored I had been with the repetition of my other classes; I didn't want to come off as conceited. He randomly asked me if I had a driver's licence at one point too. After we finished eating, I cleaned up and excused myself to do my homework in my room. After an hour and half of reading up on the civil war, I took a shower and got comfortable in my bed with my Spanish work. Charlie came and checked on me before he headed to bed, peeking in through my open door.

"How's it going?" He asked uncomfortably.

"Good I guess." He nodded, saying good night and heading off to his room. When I heard his door close, I silently shut my own, locking it. I worked for another half hour, then shut off my light. I was grateful for a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Despite my own warnings, I quickly fell into a comfortable routine. I learned the names of what became my regular lunch crowd. Every day I ended up sitting between Angela and Mike. Her boyfriend Ben seemed really sweet, and I grew fond of my comfortable friendship with Angela. Jessica always sat with us, it was obvious that she had a thing for Mike, and I learned that they had been on and off for the past year. His talkative friend Tyler sat with us too, along with Jessica's friend Lauren. I seemed to be in my teacher's good books, finishing most of my work during class usually, and didn't struggle too much with the modified material that my afternoon teachers supplied me with.

What surprised me most though was how quickly I became comfortable at Charlie's. It was shocking how much I enjoyed staying with him, and how much alike we were. He was a very quiet and kind man. He never pried or asked me too many questions, and seemed to thoroughly enjoy my cooking. He seemed to quickly grasp how uncomfortable I was with human contact, and I felt guilty seeing the hurt expression on his face when I would flinch away if he got too close. He gave me plenty of space. I appreciated it, and tried my best to be as small of a burden as possible. I was still grateful to see Renee on Saturday though, and she took me out for coffee at the one restaurant in town.

"So, how are things going here?" she asked hopefully when we settled into our booth.

"Pretty good actually. School's not much of a challenge, but the kids are nice enough. I made a friend," I told her, surprising her.

"And what about things with Charlie?"

"He's… Really nice. Nicer than I'm used to," I admitted quietly. It was hard not to trust Renee, and it was nice to speak comfortably with someone I trusted. "He's an easy person to live with." I felt Renee's hand reach out and take mine, and when I looked up at her, she had the brightest smile on her face. I couldn't stop myself from returning it.

"I'm really glad to hear that," she told me gently. "See! I told you that you'd like it here. This place is going to be good for you, I can feel it," she said confidently.

She stayed for dinner during her short visit, and I didn't have the same dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach when she left this time. Charlie walked her out to her car, and seemed to be asking her a few questions. I gave them some privacy, and went to wash the leftover dishes.

I didn't hear him come back inside, so when he said my name from closely behind me, I screamed and dropped the knife I had been cleaning, splashing bubbles all over myself. "Oh Isabelle, I'm so sorry! I should have been louder, I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that. Jeeze, are you okay?"

I felt a stinging in my right hand, and followed his panicked gaze. The sharp knife had sliced through the meaty part of the palm of my hand, and I could see the muscle underneath. And the blood, oh god. The smell hit me quickly, like salt and rust, as the blood dripped heavily onto the floor. I felt a powerful wave of nausea hit me, and the room titled quickly before everything went black.

* * *

It was hard to open my eyes, my head was pounding and I felt like I was going to be sick. My right hand was sore, and felt really stiff, but it was my left that caught my attention. It was too warm, and it took me a moment to realize that someone was holding onto it. I ripped it out of Charlie's grasp, sitting up quickly and making the room spin. As soon as I saw the pained look on his face I regretted my actions.

"Sorry," I mumbled, leaning back in the hospital bed.

"Nothing to apologize for kiddo. How are you feeling?"

"Sick," I admitted, closing my eyes tightly.

"I'll go get the doctor," he said hastily, his chair scraping the linoleum floor as he stood up.

"No no, it's okay. It happens whenever I take any sort of painkiller," I admitted. It was something I was familiar with, and was immediately aware that they had given me something while I was out. "How did we get here?"

"Oh, um, you kind of… Fainted. Hit your head on the counter pretty hard on the way down too, the doctor wants to watch you for a little while to make sure you don't have a concussion. I drove you here. It's one of the upsides to having flashing red and blue lights on top of your car." I smiled slightly at his attempt to make me laugh, and inspected my heavily bandaged hand.

"Stitches?" I asked, already knowing the answer, I could feel the tightness of them in my skin.

Charlie nodded. "Eleven. You've lost a bit of blood." We were interrupted by the Doctor coming in.

He was an older man, with grey hair and a bit of a belly. He seemed really tired. "Ah, Miss Larose, you're awake. That's a good sign," he said. I let him take my blood pressure, my heart rate, and he shined a little flashlight in my eyes. "Well, I think you may have a bit of a concussion, but it should be safe enough for you to go home. You'll have to keep a close eye on her, wake her up every couple hours to make sure she's okay, and if you have any nausea or bad migraines come back immediately."

"She nauseous now though!" Charlie said, looking slightly panicked again.

"It's probably just the anesthetic, it will wear off in a couple hours," he said dismissively. Charlie huffed irritably.

"Man, I miss Doctor Cullen already," he grumbled.

"I'm fine, really Charlie. Sorry for putting you through all this trouble."

He looked at me tenderly. "Stop apologizing kid. Let's get you home."

It was nearly midnight when we got back to his place. I couldn't lock my door, because he would have to wake me up frequently, but he assured me that he would do so by knocking loudly. He was obviously afraid to scare me again, and I felt bad with the knowledge that I would be ruining his night of sleep. So much for not being a burden.

* * *

I was completely exhausted the next couple days, it was hard to feel rested after being woken up every hour, the burning pain in my palm prevented even that little bit of rest from feeling effective. Charlie, against my arguments, called my school saying that I would take Monday and Tuesday off, and called for someone to fill in for him at work. On Tuesday morning I was finally starting to feel a bit more human, and when we stopped at the hospital for my checkup the doctor told me I was in the clear. Charlie was fidgety as we walked back to the car, and I could immediately tell that something was up. He wasn't a hard person to read, but I waited for him to talk when he was ready to. Sure enough, before he pulled out of the parking lot, he turned to face me.

"Isabelle, I was thinking of going to visit my friend Billy today, and I was hoping that you would come with me to meet him," He told me nervously. After everything he'd done for me over the past couple days, there was no way I could refuse him this small request.

"Sure, lets go," I said, trying to make my voice sound as positive as possible. I had never had a foster parent introduce me to their best friend before, but didn't want him to see just how nervous it made me.

I was curious when we seemed to drive out of town, and saw an old wooden sign welcoming us to the "La Push Reservation." I had heard the name mentioned at school a couple times, apparently a lot of the kids came down to the beach here in the summer. Not far after crossing into the town limits, we pulled up a gravel drive to a small red and white, weather beaten house. It had a small ramp that had been installed over the stairs, and I followed tentatively behind Charlie as he walked up and knocked on the door.

The man that answered was in a wheel chair. He seemed about the same age as Charlie, and had rich brown skin and long, black hair. I was immediately aware that this man had a powerful, yet kind air to him. He smiled when he noticed me.

"Come in, come in!" He said in a happy, booming voice. "Isabelle, it's so nice to finally meet you! Charlie here hasn't shut up about you coming to stay with him for weeks," he told me with his big smile. I looked over to Charlie curiously, his face was beat red and he was purposely not making eye contact with me. I had that tight, unfamiliar sensation in my chest again. "Please, come sit down."

He led us into a small, cozy living room. An old couch was nestled tightly against the biggest wall, and there were a couple armchairs packed in to the room as well. An old, small TV sat on a short shelf. Charlie sat down on the couch, patting the seat beside him for me to sit down. I slightly tripped over the low coffee table, falling into my seat not very elegantly. Charlie chuckled slightly, shaking his head.

Billy Black and Charlie had been friends since they were young kids, they told me. He was some sort of leader in his small community, that was obvious, but the details of that were a mystery to me. He had three children, twin girls that had moved away from home a few years ago, and a son who still lived with him, who was apparently just a few months younger than I was.

"Where is Jacob, anyways?" Charlie asked him. "I was hoping to introduce him to Isabelle today."

"Yeah sorry, he wanted to be here, but something came up and he needed to help his friends with something," he explained vaguely. They sat talking about random things for about an hour, mostly arguing about a recent football game, and I found listening to their banter oddly comforting. I welcomed the smile that I felt slowly take form on my face. I was a little surprised when Charlie stood up suddenly, and the two of them each wore a big grin. "Well I think we've wasted enough time."

"Yup," Charlie agreed. "Come outside Isabelle, I've got a surprise for you." I felt my face blanch at the hauntingly familiar words, and Charlie's expression changed to one of concern.

"What's wrong Isabelle? Are you okay?" He asked, voice full of concern. _Get a hold of yourself. Charlie is different_, I shouted in my mind. I forced a smile on my face.

"It's nothing, I'm fine." He obviously didn't believe me as he scrutinized my face with an almost painful expression. I stood up somewhat shakily, and after a small sigh, Charlie led me outside, Billy on our heels. We walked around to the back of the house, where there was an old, large red truck parked on the lawn.

"Surprise!" Charlie shouted. I didn't really understand, and just stared at him. He fidgeted slightly. "I thought you might like your own way of getting around town, you couldn't have enjoyed being dropped off in my police cruiser every day… I know it's not that fancy, but Jacob just rebuilt the engine so it should run great..." He voice trailed off into a whisper.

It was a moment before I could speak, looking back and forth between him and the truck. "You… Bought me a truck?" I choked out quietly.

He nodded, trying to encourage me with a smile. That sent me over the edge. I couldn't stop my tears from spilling over then, and the fact that I broke my one rule just made me cry that much harder. My breathing came in loud, shaking sobs, making it extremely hard to breathe. I felt him walk towards me, and when I looked up into his sad eyes, he very slowly placed a hand on my shoulder. I didn't flinch away from him this time, instead falling into his chest and holding onto him tightly. He gently wrapped his arms around me, hugging me back, and just let me cry into his shirt. I could faintly hear him muttering calming words like 'It's okay honey,' and 'just let it all out' over my loud sobs. He gently stroked my hair, and waited patiently while I soaked his shirt.

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter Two: A Father's Love

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. Caution: ****Will contain mature language and subject matter.**

**Chapter Two :: A Father's Love**

I was fidgeting in my chair, watching the clock. _They should be here any minute_, I told myself nervously.

Taking in foster children was a very rare thing in my town. I had always wanted a family, but my life just didn't end up taking me in that direction. I had thought briefly about adopting a baby, but discarded the thought quickly. Maybe if I had been younger, but I was creeping towards fifty now, and knew for a fact that I wouldn't be able to take on that sort of responsibility. I had no experience as a father.

I was getting lonely though, and I wanted someone to share my time with outside of work and my few friends on the reservation. I knew that there were so many children out there that came from broken homes, that would need someone to guide them on a calm path back into the world, and I grew confident in the fact that I could be someone to provide that.

It was a very long process, in depth background checks and extensive interviews. Almost a year after I had applied to the foster program, I was contacted by a social worker named Renee Dywer. A very cheery woman, despite her hard career in working with abused children. I had three interviews with the woman. First, she showed up at my work, the second time surprising me at home. Only the third had been arranged, and I couldn't help feeling a little hopeful. 

"I'm working with a young woman named Isabelle right now, she just turned seventeen a couple months ago." She told me hesitantly. She seemed to notice my nervousness. "She actually reminds me of you a little. She's kind of quiet, reserved. She's extremely mature, far beyond usual for her age. I swear that she was born middle aged." I couldn't help but smile at her obvious affection for the child, but her expression turned sombre again quickly. "She's… been through a lot in her life. I can't actually disclose that information until the process is completed, but if you're willing, I think you would be really good for her. She's a really amazing person, if you can get through her walls. It's going to take a lot of time and effort though."

I didn't know her, but I already wanted to help this girl that I had never met. I had always enjoyed helping other people; it's why I became a police officer. "I'm definitely willing to work hard. I'll do anything I can to help her," I told her, trying to project my sincerity into the words.

She nodded, and gave me a warm smile. "She has a trust fund, her family's inheritance in her name, but she can't access it until she turns eighteen. She's a year ahead in school too, so this is her senior year. From the research I've done on your high school's curriculum though, I think she'll breeze right through it. The girl's too smart for her own good, though you'd have to be able to get her talking first to really see it," she informed me. It was kind of a relief; I would be completely lost trying to help anyone study for high school math.

"She won't need money while she's with me. I'm not rich or anything, but I can provide for her. She'll be comfortable."

Her happiness was contagious while we discussed her coming next Saturday.

Lost in that memory, I didn't hear them walk up the driveway. When I heard the soft knock on my door, I jumped to my feet and ran to answer it. Renee walked inside, and was followed by a small girl. She was very petite, maybe five foot six, with long, dark blond hair and piercing green eyes. I couldn't help but notice that one of them had a yellow stripe through it. She had a pale yet flawless complexion, and currently had one of her full pink lips, the bottom one, trapped in between her teeth nervously. I tried not to stare, not wanting to make her too uncomfortable. Even as Renee put down the suitcase she had been carrying and started to take off her coat, Isabelle just stood there, frozen as a statue and gripping onto her grey suitcase like her life depended on it. After shaking her hand I took it from her, worrying she would lose circulation in her hands. I showed them up to her bedroom, and we left her to settle in while Renee and I went down to my kitchen to fill out paperwork.

I wasn't fully prepared for the conversation that followed after I signed the contracts. "I told you before that Isabelle had dealt with some... problems in the past," Renee started, and I could tell that she felt guilty about having to share the child's secrets. I nodded for her to continue, and she proceeded to tell me about Isabelle's past. Her mother had died in a car crash when she had been eight; Isabelle had been with her, and survived with only a few non-life-threatening injuries. She told me that her relationship with her father had been strained afterwards. They couldn't find anything out through her counselors, but when she got a bit older she had ended up in the hospital a few times for concussions and broken bones, and her teachers had reported her trying to hide bruises at school. She had an accident when she was at home just before she turned sixteen, falling down the stairs. She had broken an arm, a leg and a few ribs, one of which had hit an artery resulting in some severe internal bleeding. She was admitted to the hospital and went in for an emergency surgery, and that night her father had been found dead on the side of the road between the Hospital and their home. Police had deducted that he had been killed by a hit and run driver. Isabelle had been in two other foster homes since then, neither of which had lasted long. Renee told me that there had been an incident with one of her caretakers in the last home, a man. The thought that a grown adult could abuse the fragile child that was now sitting in my home made me so enraged that I couldn't think straight for a few minutes. It was kind of overwhelming. I couldn't believe that a child could go through so much in such a short life. I felt Renee's hand rest on my arm, and I realised I had been staring silently at my coffee for a few minutes. I was doubting myself now.

"How can I possibly help someone who had gone through all that?" I meant it as a rhetorical question, but she answered anyways.

"Belle needs a friend. She has a lot of trust issues and insecurities, and he needs someone with her best interests at heart that can teach her to trust again. She needs to learn that there are still good people in this world, and I think you would be good at that Charlie. I would have taken her in myself if I could, but I have three young children already." Her honesty was undoubtable. "She's such an amazing young woman. Like I said, she's incredibly smart. I'm sure she could have gotten her GED a year ago if she had wanted to. She's passionate about reading. She's shy, but strong. If she cares about something, she'll defend it with every ounce of her power. She's extremely loyal, she loves to help people, and there's a fierce strength in her that few people get to see." Her eyes had started to water. She really loved this kid.

I grabbed a box of tissues from the living room quickly and passed them to her. She wiped her face dry and needlessly apologized. "Renee, I will do everything in my power to help Isabelle. She will be safe here, and I will do everything in my power to make her happy." She smiled, but there was so much sadness and love in her eyes.

We called Isabelle back down, and the three of us sat together in the kitchen while I tried to get to know her a bit. Renee sat with us quietly, just acting as a buffer and assisting us on keeping the conversation rolling. I appreciated it; I had never been good at small talk, but I really wanted Isabelle to feel comfortable around me. I wanted to know the young woman that Renee so passionately cared about.

It was harder when Renee left, when I saw raw fear flash momentarily in Isabelle's piercing eyes. We managed to keep up a conversation while waiting for a pizza. When I admitted to her that I had no experience with this sort of thing, she asked me why I decided to take in a foster child. I didn't like the word, it implied something temporary, and I didn't want her to think of herself that way. She asked about my work, and I told her about her school, and that I hoped to spend the day with her and show her around. She was still uneasy, and after a few silent moments, she asked me why. I didn't really understand, was she asking why I wanted to show her around, or spend time with her? I wondered what her last foster homes had been like; Renee hadn't said much beside that there had been an 'incident.' I didn't know exactly that entailed, but it made me feel sick. I would never give this child a cause for fear of anything under my roof.

She went in another direction. "Why did you apply for a foster child? Why did you want me here?"

I tried to give her the best answer I could, I wasn't good at this sort of thing. Billy and I talked about fish and sports, not _feelings_. And that was the way that I liked it. "I never had kids, but that didn't mean that I didn't _want_ kids. I'm getting older now though, and I don't want to settle down to have or adopt a baby. I guess… I was just a bit lonely." I tried to decipher her feelings about that response, but her face remained completely blank. The fact that so few years could harden a child like this broke my heart. "Isabelle. I know you've been through a lot of horrible things in your life. I know it will probably take you a while to believe me, but I want you to know that you are safe here. I don't want anything from you, besides maybe a bit of your time. I won't make you do anything that you don't want to do, except go to school. I just want to give you a chance to be happy. I won't send you away or return you like defected merchandise. I won't hurt you. My home is _your_ home now, for as long as you want it to be."

I knew she didn't believe me, but for a fraction of a moment I think I saw that she wanted to. I would have plenty of time to help her.

"I actually like school," she said softly with a partial smile. I was thrown by her joke, but seeing her trying to relax, be friendly, gave me hope. The pizza arrived then. We sat together in the living room and ate dinner together, and it wasn't long afterwards that I caught her in the corner of my eye trying to hide a yawn. After letting her know that she didn't have to stick around in the living room if she didn't want to, she headed upstairs. I heard her get into the shower, and remembered that I forgot to tell her about the reversed pipes. So she would probably be a little while.

I went down to my tool box in the basement, and grabbed and extra eye and hook latch. While the water was still running, I screwed it into her door and frame, on the inside of her room, hoping that it would give her some peace of mind. After quick look at the room as I was leaving, I saw that the only things that she had unpacked were a thick quilt, and an old-looking book.

I followed my usual routine the next morning, only sleeping in a little since I wouldn't be going into work. I hopped in the shower, got dressed, and headed down to the kitchen to make some breakfast. The kid didn't look like she was the type with a big appetite, but I cooked a whole pack of bacon, scrambled up a half dozen eggs, and popped a few slices of toast in the toaster. I was hoping that the smell of bacon would draw her down, but she was completely silent in her room. I poured a couple glasses of juice, and then went upstairs to check on her.

She answered her door quickly, fully dressed for the day, and her room looked exactly as it had last night. I decided not to say anything; I would let her settle in at her own pace. I didn't want to rush her. She came down once I offered her breakfast, and seemed genuinely surprised to see that I had made her a plate. She wasn't able to eat half of it, and I hoped that she wasn't forcing herself. After reassuring me that she didn't mind my cooking, she was quiet for a while, looking lost in thought.

"I can cook," she said, startling me.

"What?"

"I know how to cook. I don't mind cooking for you if you want."

That was sweet. Renee told me that she liked to help, but I didn't want her stressing herself out. "You don't have to do that Isabelle. I've managed fine on my own for the past forty-eight years, I didn't ask for you because I wanted you to work for me."

"It wouldn't be work, it's something I actually enjoy." I raised an eye brow, finding her sudden determination a little surprising. I don't know what she saw in my reaction, but she looked frightened for a moment before looking away and apologizing. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to argue. I just don't want to be a burden. You've done so much for me already."

She thought that was an argument? She definitely wasn't a normal teenager. I didn't know what would be better for her, letting her do something she claimed to enjoy but may be only doing out of guilt, or force her to take it easy and risk upsetting her. I decided to let her decide for herself.

"Isabelle, you are by far the most resigned seventeen-year-old I have ever met. I don't think that qualifies as an argument. If you really want to cook, you can cook. But don't think you need to earn your keep or any nonsense like that. You're not a burden." She seemed to have closed her eyes, and was trembling slightly, but I forced myself to be patient. A moment later she seemed to calm, and gave me a tentative smile. I tried to give her an encouraging one in return.

When I finished eating, she automatically made to clean my dish. I reached up to stop her, let her know that it wasn't necessary, but when I touched her arm she flinched away like I had burned her. She apologized quickly in a panicked voice, and I tried to quickly reassure her, pulling away as to not frighten her further. I asked if she was okay, but she didn't speak. She only nodded silently, not looking at me.

After a moment of tense silence, she hesitantly picked up the plate again and I let her wash it, not knowing what else to do. God, I was really blowing this. She was trying to act brave, but I found it obvious that she was terrified. How could she not be, being alone in a house with a man that she barely knew? She caught me watching her when she finished, and looked down at her feet. Maybe I could just try and distract her, keep her mind busy for a little while. "Isabelle," I said hesitantly, "Thank you very much for washing the dishes. We can leave in a few minute for that tour if you want, if you're ready." She nodded quietly again, and I recommended for her to grab her coat. The snow hadn't stuck to the ground yet, but it was December and quite chilly out.

She was silent most of the drive, seeming to concentrate hard on taking in her new surroundings. It wasn't a very big town, so I took my time, driving around slowly, and telling her about the different shops and buildings in the area. When we passed by the hospital, I told her that we had just lost our two newest doctors, Carlisle and his brother in law, when they moved to a new town a little while back. His last name caught her attention, and she told me that a doctor with the same name had performed surgery on her before. It would have been too much of a coincidence for Carlisle to do surgery on her, move here immediately afterwards, and leave again just before she moved here though. I curiously asked what her surgery had been for.

"I fell down some stairs. Ended up breaking a few ribs and they had to stop some internal bleeding." She said it like it was nothing more than a trip to the dentist, shocking me. Renee had told me about her long stay in the hospital about a year ago, but it was completely different hearing it from Isabelle herself, downplaying it like a scrape on the knee.

We went out for an early dinner at the Diner after some interesting grocery shopping, and I introduced her to a few friends. She seemed a bit overwhelmed, and I gave her some space when we got home, telling her to get some rest. I could barely hear her while she moved around like a ghost upstairs, only noting the water for the shower running briefly.

I got ready as usual in the morning, and for some reason had had the idea that I would have to wake her up and negotiate with her into going to school. But once I got dressed I smelt something delicious coming from downstairs and went to check it out. She was sliding some fancy egg dish onto a plate as I walked into the kitchen; it looked too good to eat. I noted that she didn't sit down.

"Is this for me?" I asked excitedly. She nodded quietly, going back to wash some dishes. I almost dove into my seat. Oh my god was it ever amazing. I didn't think I would be able to bring myself into persuading her not to cook for me after that. By the time I finished eating, the kitchen was spotless and Isabelle was patiently waiting for me to drop her off at school. She was an independent kid, not even wanting me to walk her into the office.

Work went by slowly as I spent the day worrying about how she was coping in her new school. The kids around here weren't used to new arrivals, and a pretty girl like her would be batting the boys away with a stick. Oh god, boys, I didn't even think about that. There was a perk to being the Chief of Police in this small town; no one would mess with my daughter. The thought made me stop.

She had barely been with me for two days, and I already considered Isabelle like a daughter to me. The overwhelming urge I had to protect her already felt as fierce as if she had been with me all of her life. I wanted her to be happy here, what had Renee said, if I could get through her walls? I believed her now that it wouldn't be easy, but I was going to try. I wanted to know this kid.

I left at two-thirty to pick her up from school. She said her day had gone well, but didn't offer any details besides the people being nice. I felt guilty that I had to leave her alone in the house so soon, but she assured me that she would be fine. When I did finally finish work, I came home to a delicious smelling house. She was in the kitchen, pulling a casserole dish out of the oven filled with baby potatoes and steak. She made some sort of sauce with onions and mushrooms, pouring it on top of the steaks, and put two plates on the set table for me. I was in shock, and my stomach grumbled excitedly. "Wow Isabelle, this looks great. You're going to spoil me," I really wanted to tell her that it was too much, and she had worked too hard, but the first genuine smile that I had seen on her stopped me in my tracks. It completely changed her, and I wanted to see it again. Billy had been looking to sell the old Chevy that Jacob had fixed up; they had three vehicles sitting on his property now and he didn't like it. I wondered if having her own vehicle would make her life here more enjoyable. There was no way I would let her walk all the way home from school, and this would be easier that taking her home and going back to work every afternoon too.

"So Isabelle, do you have a driver's license?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant. As soon as she said yes, my decision was set. She started cleaning before I could stop her, and when she finished she asked if she could be excused to do her homework. Just baffled, I told her that she didn't have to ask. I settled in to watch some TV. While I was alone, I took the opportunity to call Billy. He answered on the third ring.

"Hey Charlie, have you called to cry?" he asked in a teasing voice. I looked at the score on the TV sadly.

"Oh shut it, you're only five ahead. It's any man's game."

I heard him chuckle. "So, how are things with your new house guest?"

"They're going... okay. It's going to take some time to earn her trust, poor kid's been through a lot. I like her though, her name's Isabelle. I don't want her to just be a house guest though. I'm hoping it becomes something permanent."

"Well I'm glad to hear that, am I going to get to meet her soon?"

"That's kinda why I called actually. You still looking to sell that old truck?"

"Yeah, you thinkin' of taking it off my hands?"

"Mhmm. I think it would be a great surprise for her. Can I come by with her on Sunday and get it?"

"Sure! You guys can stop by anytime, and you could introduce her to Jake while you're here."

"That would be great. Thanks Billy."

"No problem. Talk to you later."

"Bye."

I was still a little weirded out by how eerily quiet she was upstairs. If I hadn't heard the water in the shower, I would have guessed that she had snuck out or something. I went and checked on her before heading to bed.

"How's it going?" I asked after walking up to her open door. She was sitting cross legged on her bed, hair wet, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. A bunch of homework was spread out in front of her.

"Good I guess," she answered quietly.

"Okay. Well, er, goodnight." I went to my room, and paused to listen after I closed my door. I could faintly hear her door close, and a small "click" that I discerned to be her lock. If it made her feel safer, I was glad that I put it there.

The week seemed to go by pretty well. She didn't talk too much, and continued to tip toe around the house, but I think she was starting to get a little comfortable. I checked in with her teachers, and they said that she was doing really well. "A model student" was the term they used. Apparently she was far ahead in most of her classes, but didn't complain or argue about any of the work. Despite her thorough knowledge though, apparently she was very quiet and never offered to answer any questions aloud. I asked them to be patient with it, and just give her some time to get more comfortable. I came home every night to a delicious meal, but was able to convince her that she didn't need to cook my breakfast too. Her biggest issue still seemed to be personal space, and I went out of my way to not get too close to her. I saw a few times how she would flinch away in fear if I got too close, and figured space and time once again would be the best course to take.

Saturday arrived again quickly, and I found it sweet how happy the prospect of seeing Renee again made her. She picked her up to take her out for coffee, and while I sat alone in my living, the house felt extremely empty. They both came back for a quick dinner, and it felt like only moments had passed when Renee was saying goodbye again as I walked her out to her car.

"How are you holding up Charlie?"

"Good, things are good. I worry about her you know, but I think she's warming up to things here."

"Yeah, so do I," she said with a small smile. She could see that there was something else on my mind though. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's _wrong_. It's just… I'm planning on getting her a truck. I thought she might enjoy it here more if she didn't have to be chauffeured around in my cruiser all the time. Do you think that would be okay?"

"You're going to buy her a _truck_?" She asked, eyes wide in shock.

"Uh, it's not the nicest thing really, an old truck that my friend was looking to get rid of. Nothing fancy. I can't really afford anything more. But it's a reliable, sturdy vehicle. Which I think would be a requirement for her." I couldn't help a small smile. The kid wasn't the most… Dexterous person. She seemed barely able to walk in a straight line without hurting herself most of the time. Renee put a soft hand on my face, surprising me. I could see tears in her eyes, but they didn't fall.

"You have a big heart, Charlie Swan. I think I've done my job well, choosing you." She got in her car then, driving off and leaving me wide-eyed in the street. Man, I would have really liked to ask her out. Too bad she was already married.

I made my way back into the house, took off my wet sneakers, and went to find Isabelle in the kitchen. She was banging around with dishes in the sink. "Hey Isabelle," I started to say as I walked up to stand beside her, wanting to ask her about coming to meet Billy tomorrow. She mustn't have heard me come in though, as she screamed loudly, dropping whatever she was washing hard and spraying chunks of bubbled foam all over herself and the counter.

Shit, and I had been doing so well the past few days. "Oh Isabelle, I'm so sorry! I should have been louder; I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that. Jeeze, are you okay?" I tried reassuring her, but was quickly distracted by the sight of the stream of blood trailing down her arm and dripping into the linoleum floor.

She followed my gaze, and as soon as she saw what had happened I saw her face get impossibly paler. I wanted to support her, but I was afraid to scare her, and I saw a dazed look quickly take over her expression. I was seconds too slow in catching her as her legs seemed to give out and she fell backwards, hitting her head with an audible crack on the counter top. "Isabelle? Isabelle!" She seemed completely out. Did she faint? Or was she knocked unconscious from hitting her head? Either way, it didn't matter. She was still bleeding heavily from the large gash in her hand, and if she was unconscious I couldn't really scare her. I grabbed a thick, clean hand towel from the kitchen drawer, duct taping it to her hand tightly, and felt as though I was betraying her trust as I picked the tiny girl up, and ran her out to my cruiser.

Sirens blaring, I sped through the small town to the hospital. She still seemed out cold, and I lifted her awkwardly out of the front seat as a nurse came out with a stretcher. I followed her inside quickly, watching the nurse curiously inspect my improvised bandages. "What happened?"

"She was washing the dishes and cut her hand. Then... I think she just passed out or something, but she hit her head really hard on the counter on the way down. She hasn't woken up yet," I said quickly in a panicked voice.

"How long has she been unconscious?"

"I don't know…" I tried to count quickly. "About fifteen minutes maybe?" I drove here as quickly as I could, and it wasn't a very long drive. "Is she okay?" I asked desperately.

"I'm sure she'll be fine Charlie. It's probably just a bad bump on the head, and she'll probably need some stiches. What's her blood type?"

"I… I'm not sure."

"Any allergies to medication?"

"I don't know!" I said, feeling some tears escape my eyes.

"Shhh, calm down Charlie. It's going to be okay. Just think, do you have someone you can call to find out?"

_Renee._ "Yes!" I pulled out my cell phone. She would still be driving, but hopefully she would pick up. I was panicking again as it rang the fourth time, but gasped in relief when she finally answered.

"Hey Charlie, is everything okay?"

"Thank god Renee! Isabelle had an accident. She cut her hand when she was doing the dishes, then she just passed out and when she fell she hit her head and-,"

I heard her tires screech as she must have pulled over to the side of the road. "Calm down Charlie, everything's going to be fine. Did you take her to the hospital?"

"Yeah we're here right now, but I don't know her blood type or allergies or-"

"O positive and she's allergic to penicillin," she told me quickly and calmly. I relayed the information to the nurse who was busy taking her pulse and blood pressure.

"I'm so sorry Renee."

"Hey Charlie, I'm sure this isn't your fault. Isabelle isn't the most... coordinated person out there."

"But it happened because I surprised her, it was an accident, but I still don't get why she would pass out like that." My head was still spinning.

"Yeah, she has this thing about blood. She probably just fainted. Can you pass me over to the nurse please? Tell them that I'm her case worker." I did as she asked, and watched Jackie's face as she talked to Renee. After three minutes she handed it back to me. "Okay Charlie, she's going to be just fine. If you want me to I can come back, but despite the bad circumstances, I think this will be a good bonding exercise for you two. Do you want me to turn around?"

I thought about it for a long moment. Yes, I felt way out of my league, but… I wanted that to change. How could I be a real father to her if I ran to hold someone's hand whenever something new happened? I sighed. "No, it's okay. I think we'll be alright."

"Okay, well as you know from the contract you signed, you'll need to fax me the doctor's report immediately and there will be some paperwork that you'll need to do. I'll call you on Monday, okay?"

"Okay, thanks Renee."

She needed eleven stiches in her hand, but didn't need a transfusion or anything like that. I sat with her the entire time, but she never woke up. Despite the Doctor's assurances, I started to feel more panicked the longer she went without opening her eyes. It was after ten when she finally came around. She felt sick, and when she explained her bad relationship with painkillers I felt immediately guilty. That was something a father should know.

I didn't care for this Doctor Banner, I told myself shortly after. I know he was a little overworked, but his inattentive, almost distracted manner irritated me. After telling me I would need to wake her up and check on her every hour, he strolled out of the room, trying to cover a yawn. Why did Carlisle have to leave just before Isabelle came here?

I felt like a bit of a zombie the next day. You couldn't really sleep much when you had to wake up someone else almost every hour. I tried not to let her see that though, she was constantly apologizing for things that were completely out of her control already, and I wanted her not to feel obligated to do so anymore. Sunday evening though, around seven, she didn't wake up when I knocked on her door. I knocked a second time, still nothing. Starting to panic, I walked into her oddly spotless room, and walked over to the side of her bed, not wanting to get too close. It was then for the first time that I saw her clutching a small silver pocket knife in her bandage-free sleeping hand.

Did she really fear me that much? No, I swear that she had been starting to warm up to me. Should I take it away from her? That might scare her more. Besides, she didn't seem like the type to try and stab someone. I didn't think it would be in her nature to hurt herself either, not if she hadn't already. Her body twitched, and I saw her hand grip even tighter onto the small piece of metal. Her expression looked pained.

"Stay away from me George," she whispered in a quiet voice. I was hit with anger and surprise. First, who was George? Second, she talked in her sleep? "Don't, I'll tell Charlie." She said my name? It seemed like she trusted me to protect her in her subconscious, and that made me happy. I didn't want her to suffer through the rest of whatever dark dream she was having though, so I walked back to the door, and knocked even louder. She woke up this time, and seemed fine, so I let her go back to sleep, wanting to take another fifty-minute nap.

She looked much better Tuesday morning, the dark circles under her eyes looking like they were finally starting to fade. She barely shook as I taped a plastic bag over her hand so she wouldn't get the bandage wet in the shower. Once I heard the water start, I called Billy again.

"Hey Charlie, how's Isabelle doing?" He asked, picking up after the third ring.

"She seems much better today. I need to take her in for a check-up at the hospital in a bit, but if she's up for it afterwards I wanted to bring her by. Is that okay?"

"Sure sure, I'm not going anywhere. Jake's here too, he's excited to meet her."

I didn't agree with Billy's decision to let Jake take a break from high school at the begging of the year, but it wasn't really my business. "Okay, I'll give you a shout when we get home if she isn't up for it, otherwise I should be there around one. Remember, it's a surprise though."

"Yeah I know I know, see you later."

Her checkup went well. Doctor Banner said that she was in the clear, and I wouldn't have to keep waking her up anymore. Her stitches were doing well, and he told us that we wouldn't have to come in to get them removed; they would dissolve on their own. Weird. He said to come back if she experienced any bad headaches or nausea, and sent us on our way. We walked over to the car, and I worried if it was too soon to introduce her to my best friend. Would this be too weird for her? But I wanted her to feel included in my life, to see how important she was. She was my family now, even if she didn't believe it. We got into my car, and I forced myself to just do it.

"Isabelle, I was thinking of going to visit my friend Billy today, and I was hoping that you would come with me to meet him."

Her face was completely neutral. "Sure, let's go," she said, and her voice sounded positive, if only a little strained.

She was very watchful as always while we made the short drive out to the reservation. She followed behind me silently as we walked up to his door. I could hear Billy rolling over to answer it inside. I was pleased with how energetic and friendly he was when he introduced himself. I had warned him that she was really shy; I didn't want him to scare her away. He fulfilled his duty as my best friend and completely embarrassed me, telling her that I hadn't shut up about her in weeks. Was I really that bad? I didn't care; I shouldn't have to hide being happy.

She timidly followed us into the living room, and I couldn't help a small laugh when she half tripped and fell into the seat beside me. Yeah, that solid truck would be good for her; she couldn't hurt it if she tried. Billy told her about himself and his family, and I was pleased to see her seem almost comfortable in the living room with us. There was no sign of Jacob though. Even for a high school dropout, he was a really good kid, and I thought he would be a good friend for her. "Where is Jacob, anyways? I was hoping to introduce him to Isabelle today."

He hesitated a moment too long before he answered. "Yeah sorry, he wanted to be here, but something came up and he needed to help his friends with something." Hmm, I was curious about his vague excuse, but decided not to pry.

We talked for a while about the game a couple days ago, but I was too impatient to sit for too long. I wanted to see that smile on Isabelle's face again, and Billy saw the change in my mood.

"Well I think we've wasted enough time." He said.

"Yup. Come outside Isabelle, I've got a surprise for you," I told her happily. My stomach twisted oddly when I saw her almost-relaxed expression disappear, and fear filled her eyes. What did I say? "What's wrong Isabelle? Are you okay?"

She plastered a smile on her face after a moment, but it didn't reach her eyes. "It's nothing, I'm fine," she answered without emotion. I looked over quickly to Billy, not knowing what to do. He was watching her with a sad, concerned expression. I straightened up. I didn't want whatever had scared her to get worse, so I just let the way outside. She followed robotically. I walked up to the truck, and turned to look at her.

"Surprise!" I said happily, watching her face in anticipation. She wrapped her arms around herself, looking nervous and confused. Did she hate it? Maybe she was too afraid to say so, and I felt guilty that I couldn't do any better. "I thought you might like your own way of getting around town, you couldn't have enjoyed being dropped off in my police cruiser every day… I know it's not that fancy, but Jacob rebuilt the engine so it should run great…" I really hoped she would just say something, I couldn't read that still face. She looked from me, to the truck, and back slowly.

"You… bought me a truck?" She said, in her delicate and quiet voice. I nodded, giving her an encouraging smile. I wasn't prepared for what happened next. I had never seen, or even heard her cry before. Not a single tear. She had more than enough reason to, but it was like she refused to show any sort of weakness. She was a very proud young woman. So when her eyes filled up with water and quickly over flowed, and she hid her face in her hands trying to muffle her painful sobs, I was completely thrown.

I walked over to her slowly, like someone trying to approach a doe without scaring it away. She looked up to me, and those piercing, beautiful green eyes looked straight into mine. I felt like I got my first real glimpse into her mind, past those walls that she had built so high around herself, and there was just so, so much pain in there. I hesitantly put a hand gently on her shoulder, expecting her to flinch away. She didn't though. She fell into my chest, and held onto me like I was the only thing that could prevent her from drowning in the deep sea of her emotions. I wrapped my arms around her, and held her there tightly.

I knew that this would be our turning point. It was physically painful seeing her suffer like this, but I also knew at the same time that this was something she needed to do. Billy gave me a nod, and went back inside to give us some privacy. After a long while of crying freely into my shirt, she started to tremble, and I led us over to sit on the tail of the truck. I didn't relax my hold on her in the slightest.

Eventually her tears slowed, and finally stopped. Her breathing calmed, and her sobbing faded into hiccups and sniffles. I relaxed my hold on her when I felt her pull away slightly, but she let me keep an arm around her shoulders. I expected her next words, and had to cut her off.

"I'm so sor-"

"No Isabelle," I said as gently as possible, keeping direct eye contact with her. "I will not let you apologize for that. I want to thank you." Her expression turned to one of confusion. "Thank you for letting me stay, for letting me in."

I was afraid that she would start crying again, but was rewarded with a small smile. Not the one of real happiness I had wanted, but I still took it gratefully. We sat together in comfortable silence on the back of the truck for a while.

"Thank you Charlie," she said after about fifteen minutes. She put so much emotion into those three words.

"Don't mention it kid."

Billy came back outside, three water bottles sitting in his lap. Looking relieved, he threw one to each of his. I felt bad for forgetting to warn him; I caught mine easily, but Isabelle's hand was too slow, and it hit her square in the chest.

"Shit! Sorry about that," he said apologetically. She just shook her head and smiled. Billy rolled closer and gently handed her the keys. "Why don't you start her up?"

She hopped down from the truck, and slid into the cabin, putting the keys into the ignition. I smiled when she jumped at the sound of the loud, booming engine.

"You gotta double pump the clutch, but besides that she runs great."

I was watching her, and felt like my heart melted when I saw that rare, happy smile slowly spread on her face. She looked at me, and her cheeks took on a beautiful pink color.

"It's amazing, I love it. Thank you so much Charlie, Billy."

"No problem kid," Billy said happily, seeming just as affected by her happy mood. "There's a Mariner's game on Sunday, you two should come over and watch it with us. Jake should be home, and Harry and Sue will be by with their kids too."

She looked at me shyly, almost hopeful, like she was waiting for my permission. "That sounds great Billy, we'll be there."

I was a little worried to let her drive in her condition, but after seeing her so excited I didn't want to ruin the moment. I drove slowly, checking her in my rear view mirror every three seconds. The roads were slippery, and I made a note to go pick up some chains for her tires before she went back to school tomorrow.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	3. Chapter Three: Jacob Black

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. Caution: ****May contain mature language and subject matter.**

**A major thank you to AdOrEsEvErYtHiNgHaRrYpOtTeR,, thank you for pointing out that I had posted the wrong chapter, I'm completely embarrassed. Sorry guys! but this was chapter three. You get two chapters today now as an apology!**

**Chapter Three :: Jacob Black**

I woke up to the sound of a pan hitting the floor downstairs. I looked at my watch, it was almost six thirty. It had been my first solid night's rest in a few days, and I felt great, aside from the burning in my palm and a slight headache, but I'd rather that than the nausea from the bottle of T3s on my dresser. My mind was clear and alert though. I got dressed quickly, not wanting to be late, and dashed into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I almost moaned when I caught the sight of my hair in the mirror. It looked like a bird had been living in it. I dunked my head under the faucet briefly to wet it, dragged a brush through it angrily, and braided it into a thick rope that hung over my shoulder. Going back into my room, I packed up the homework that I had finished last night, made my bed neatly, and ran downstairs.

Charlie was sitting at the table, his dishes from breakfast already washed, drinking a cup of coffee and reading the paper. He looked up at my entrance, seeming surprised.

"Hey Isabelle, I wasn't going to wake you up. I thought you might want another day to rest up."

I felt my cheeks flush, remembering my embarrassing outburst yesterday afternoon. He seemed completely at ease though, and I was relieved that it hadn't seemed to make things awkward between us. If anything I felt more comfortable around him now. I really wanted to go back to school, but I also didn't want to upset him. I fidgeted a little while I considered my words.

"Um, I feel much better. If it's alright with you, could I please go back to school today?"

He smiled gently. "Of course it's okay, if that's what you really want. I just don't want you to over exert yourself."

"I won't, thank you Charlie."

"Nothing to thank me for kid. Just eat something before you go, okay?"

I nodded, grabbed an apple and granola bar, and sat down at the table when he got up to refill his cup. "Would you like some coffee?"

"No thank you." I loved the smell of coffee, but hated the bitter taste. Caffeine made me a little crazy anyways, I didn't even care for pop.

I finished quickly, grabbed the keys for _my new truck_, and headed for the door, Charlie following suite. "Do you remember the way to the school? Think you can get there alright by yourself?" I nodded. He threw on his coat, and held the door open for me, locking it behind us. It had snowed last night, and I walked carefully down the slippery driveway to where my truck was parked on the road. "Have a nice day Isabelle, I'll be home around five. Gimme a call at work if you start feeling unwell!" He called as he got into his car. I assured him I would, and he backed out of the drive way and drove down the street.

I hopped up into my truck, jumping again as the load engine roared to life, and blasted the heat for a few minutes before pulling out.

The Chevy handled the slippery roads surprisingly well. Charlie couldn't have gotten me a more perfect vehicle. It had charm and personality, but most importantly, it seemed _strong_. If it were hit, I could see any other car just wrapping around the hard, strong frame, and I needed something that could endure my clumsiness. I still had trouble comprehending Charlie's generosity, and decided that he was just a genuinely nice guy. He was kind, caring, and gentle. He was the father I had wished to have my entire life, and the thought made my chest feel tight, and my throat feel swollen. I was determined to try my hardest to let him in and make this work. As I finished that thought, I pulled into the school parking lot with fifteen minutes to spare.

When I got out of my truck, a silver glimmer caught my eye. I knelt down, and saw that there were chains on my tires that had definitely not been there yesterday. Charlie must have put them on before I even woke up.

"Hey Isabelle," Mike said loudly from behind, making me squeak loudly. He laughed. "Nice truck."

It almost sounded sarcastic, but I decided to take it as a compliment. I gave him my biggest smile and said thank you. His face took on an odd, dazed expression. Confused, I grabbed my bag, shut the cabin door and started walking to the main doors. He caught up to me quickly.

"So I heard that you hurt yourself, are you okay? You missed two days, what happened?"

I was determined not to lose my good mood to him, and answered lightly. "Oh, just a small bump on the head. Nothing serious."

"Then why is your hand bandaged?"

"Oh, well I needed a couple stitches too, cut myself washing dishes."

He laughed loudly, annoying me slightly. "So I'm guessing that your lack of coordination stretches further than gym class?" Hah, funny.

"I got to get to class, see you later Mike."

"Yup, see you next period!" He called happily. Walking into class, I saw Jessica Stanley shoot me a dirty look from the back row. Ugh, I hated high school drama. At least there were only seven more days of class before the winter break. I dropped into my seat next to Angela, sighing in relief.

"Oh Isabelle! I was so worried about you. I heard that you were in the hospital, are you okay?" Man, news traveled fast in this town. I didn't mind the questions as much from Angela though, I knew she wasn't the gossiping type and was just genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I had a bit of a concussion, and just had to take it easy for a couple days. Thanks for asking though." She gave me a warm smile.

I didn't have much trouble keeping up during my classes, and because of my recent concussion and bandaged hand, the coach mercifully excused me from the class. Charlie has called my teachers for me, and I had done all of my missed work at home. I smiled, realizing it had been the first time that I had used the word in a long time. I couldn't seem to make the expression last though. I was still being nagged by the thought that this was happening too fast, and that if some seemed too good to be true, it probably was.

By lunch though, my hand was starting to throb painfully from trying to hold a pencil properly, and I had a permanent headache from the constant buzz of multiple voices. I sat silently through lunch, not daring to eat, then History and Spanish, trying to make myself invisible and keep my stomach calm. Ben had been sitting next to me during last period, and stopped me after class. "Hey Isabelle, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you really don't look good. I saw you come in on your big red truck this morning, and I don't think you should be driving home." He was such a nice guy; he's a good match for Angela.

Slightly wobbly, I steadied myself on my desk. "I think you might be right Ben."

"I was going to give Ang a lift home. How about I drop off your truck for you, and she can give you a lift and take me back afterwards?"

"I don't mind at all," she said, coming up behind him. I looked at her curiously, and she held up her cell phone. Ben took her hand absentmindedly.

"Thank you so much guys, you're too nice." They assured me it wasn't a big deal, and I handed Ben my keys. He knew the street, and told us he'd wait for us there. Angela's car was further away in the parking lot.

Sure enough, he beat us to the house. I thanked Angela again, and she gave me a tender smile. Before I walked away, she asked me to get Charlie to give me a lift to school tomorrow, and that they would drop me off again. I felt lucky to have such kind friends.

After putting away my bag, I slowly walked back down to the kitchen. I would stick with something easy and just make spaghetti for dinner. I took out a couple pots, filled one with water and poured the sauce into the other, covering them both with lids and setting them on the stove for later. Charlie wouldn't be home be home for another two hours, and it would take less than thirty minutes to heat up and cook. Grabbing a cold, damp cloth, I went and laid on the couch in the living room for a few minutes. I closed my eyes, and laid the cold cloth over them. The room felt as though it was spinning slightly, and I concentrated on taking slow, calming breaths.

I heard the front door shut quietly, and bolted upright. Pulling the damp facecloth off of my face, I saw Charlie by the front door with an apologetic grin on his face. "Sorry kid, didn't mean to wake you."

I stood up a little too quickly and had a head rush. "I didn't mean to fall asleep, Sorry!" I said quickly, and he waved it off. "Dinner won't take long to cook, I'll get it started right now." He followed me into the kitchen.

"You panic too much Isabelle, take it easy. You apologize a lot too, we're going to have to work on that," he said with a teasing voice. I felt my face go bright red. He saw me start to apologize, and laughed when I stopped myself. I relaxed, and turned on the burners on the stove.

"So how was your day?" Charlie asked with a mouthful of spaghetti.

"Fine," I said, and he eyed my one word reply. I reminded myself that I wanted to try harder at this. "My hand got kind of sore trying to write, and I had a bit of a headache. Angela and Ben drove me home at the end of the day."

"Aw Bells, you should have just called and told me that you weren't feeling well." I froze at the sound of the nickname, and he caught onto it quickly. "Sorry, Isabelle," he corrected himself shyly.

"No, it's okay. I like it." He gave me a big smile that I couldn't help returning.

Charlie did offer me a ride the next day, and I told him that Angela had already offered me a ride home afterwards. I was relieved at the end of the day, it hadn't been as bad as the day before but I still didn't feel very well. Charlie called and said that he wanted to go out for dinner that night, and I said I would drive out and meet him at the Diner at six, since he had a bit more work to do.

I realized that the truck was really hard on gas. I still had money saved up from my last job at the bookstore in Seattle, but it wouldn't last for too long. So while we were sitting waiting for our food quietly, I decided that now was as good a time as any to talk to Charlie about it.

"So Charlie, I was wondering if it would be okay with you if I start looking for a part time job?" I made sure to say the request as politely as possible, keeping my face neutral, and I watched him closely for his response. He watched me thoughtfully before answering carefully.

"Why would you like a part time job?" He asked curiously.

"Well, I have a little money saved from my last part time job," I thought it would be a good idea to let him know that I had experience working before, "but I'd like to be able to pay for my own gas, and earn a little bit of spending money."

"I don't mind lending you some money if you need anything Bells," he said, concerned.

"Thank you, but I would really feel much better about it if I could support myself." I watched him hopefully for a long moment, and he sighed lightly.

"Of course you can, if that's what you really want. But I want you to know that if there's anything you want, you can just ask for it."

"Thanks Charlie," I said with a happy smile. The waitress, Stephanie, brought over our food then. Charlie, not to my surprise, was having steak and a baked potato. I made a mental note to try and squeeze more salads into his diet. Stomach still a little queasy, I picked slowly at my shrimp and spinach salad.

"So, you still up for coming to Billy's on Saturday? It will be a bit of a crowd."

I had really enjoyed meeting Billy, I found his direct attitude and warm personality very enjoyable. "I'd really like that, if you still want me to come," I said shyly.

"Of course I do. We'll probably head out around two, so I was thinking we could go grocery shopping tomorrow night. You'll have plenty of time Sunday to go job hunting if you still want to."

"That sounds great. Do you think I should make a dip or something to bring over?"

"Sure, if you feel like it. I gotta warn you though; those kids eat like a pack of wild animals."

The familiar buzz of excitement for the weekend filled the cafeteria at lunch. There was only one week left of class before winter break, and I was deep in thought, thinking about what I should get Charlie for Christmas.

"So what are you up to this weekend?" Mike asked, interrupting my antisocialism.

"Well tomorrow I'm supposed to go with Charlie over to his friend's place. They're watching some sort of sports games. Sunday I need to go job hunting. What about you?" I asked politely. He really was a nice guy, I don't know why I always got slightly irritated when I talked to him. I kept mentally reminding myself to be polite though.

"Oh really? My Mom's looking to hire someone part time at the shop. You should come by on Sunday, I'll recommend you." He winked at me, and I could feel Jessica's gaze burning into the side of my head.

"That would be awesome, thanks Mike. What would be a good time to swing by?"

"It's usually slowest at lunch, around eleven thirty?"

"Noted, I will be there," I said, feeling a little excited. My good mood made the afternoon fly by, and I even found myself answering one of the questions my history teacher asked aloud without even worrying about it.

I had let my guard down, and wiped out good on the walkway up to the door when I got home. Soaking wet, and with plenty of time to kill, I decided to throw in a load of laundry. I wanted to make a good impression with Charlie's friends tomorrow, and clean clothes were always a good start. After I got my first load in, I took a couple moments to inspect his small basement. It was just one open room. In one corner there were the laundry machines and a big plastic mud sink. Then there was the furnace and water heater, a large tool bench, a deep freeze and some storage shelves. There was a thin layer of sawdust covering the work bench, and laid out on top of it at the moment were a couple fishing rods, and an old dirty tackle box. There were all sorts of screwdrivers and such hanging on pegs against the wall, many of them looking quite sharp, and I decided it would be best to give it some space. I took a peek into the deep freeze, and saw that it was more than half full of fish. I would have to learn some new recipes.

When I got upstairs I plopped down on my bed. Charlie wouldn't be home for another hour, and I didn't want to start my homework to just have to stop it again soon when we went out grocery shopping. My eyes passed over my empty desk and stopped on my two full suitcases under the window. After debating for two minutes, I walked over and opened them up. I finally put the rest of my clothes in the empty dresser. I alphabetized my books on the shelf of my desk. I didn't have many, not really having the money to buy them. My library card in Seattle had been my best friend. I put my stuffed panda bear on my bed and my photo album in my night stand. I hung up my extra sweaters in my closet, and stacked my now empty suitcases in there with them. My laundry finished, and I folded and put away the rest of my clothes. They had all comfortably fit in the little dresser. Feeling accomplished, I grabbed a book, and laid down to read while I waited for Charlie.

Saturday morning came with an odd sense of excitement and nervousness. I hopped in the shower in the early morning when Charlie finished and towel dried my hair very carefully, brushing it almost a dozen times trying to make it as straight as possible. I decided that I should finally invest in a blow dryer. Relieved that the fates had decided to grant me a good hair day, I got dressed carefully in a pair of dark blue jeans and a deep violet blouse before heading downstairs.

After having a light breakfast, and regretting brushing my teeth before I ate, I dug through Charlie's cupboards and found a big glass casserole dish. I spread out a layer of soft cream cheese on the bottom, then covered it in salsa, a layer of shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes, peppers, onions and topped it with a layer of grated cheddar cheese. Charlie watched the whole process with an intrigued expression.

"What do you call that?"

"Seven-layer dip. With a big bag of tortilla chips, it's the ultimate snack food," I said proudly. My father had me make it all the time when he had people over. I pushed the memories of his whiskey scented breath and clouds of cigar smoke out of my mind. "Do you think I made too much?" I had taken his advice and made enough to feed a dozen people.

"Hah! Not nearly. I doubt it will last minutes; their appetite is a little intimidating actually." Relieved, I wrapped the dish in saran wrap before going upstairs and finishing my homework to kill the next few hours. I was completely lost in the Spanish language when Charlie came and knocked on my door, making me jump.

"You almost ready to go?"

"Yeah," I told him, then quickly put away my homework and joined him by the front door. It was chilly out, and I was thankful that Charlie caught me before I landed on my butt after sliding on a patch of ice. We loaded into his police cruiser, and pulled away from the house.

There was another old van in Billy's driveway already when we pulled up. Charlie noticed my gaze. "Harry must already be here. He's a good friend too, the three of us go fishing a lot together in the summer. His wife is Sue, and they have two kids, Leah and Seth." He provided helpfully. I committed the names to memory as I followed him up to the front door. He didn't knock this time, just opened the door and walked right in. "Hey Billy! We're here," He said, kicking off his boots. Charlie offered to take the casserole dish from me so I could untie my boots. Billy shouted for us to come in over the loud TV, and I could hear two guys arguing over something, I think I heard the word sandwiches, in the kitchen. Billy and another man were sitting in armchairs in the living room. Harry looked only slightly older than Billy, with the same warm coloured skin and dark hair, though his was peppered with more grey. He introduced me to his wife Sue, a very warm woman with a gentle smile, and her daughter Leah. She looked like she was a little surly, but offered me a smile in greeting none the less. She gestured for me to come sit beside her, but I was distracted by Billy.

"And this is Seth, and my son Jacob," he said, gesturing to the kitchen doorway. I turned around to greet them.

Seth seemed like a happy kid, he had an easy smile on his face, warm eyes, and seemed to be in the middle of a growth spurt. He was really thin, but still looked like he had a fair amount of muscle on him. The bigger part of my mind was taken over by the sight of Jacob though. Billy had said that he was only a couple months younger than I was, but the boy was _huge_. He looked closer to seven feet than six, with short black hair, warm brown eyes and the same rich coloured skin as his father. He was wearing faded jeans, and a tight black t-shirt that did nothing to hide the thick muscles on his arms or chest. He was a little intimidating.

"Hi, I'm Isabelle," I said quietly, holding out my hand and trying to offer my friendliest smile. Seth took it easily enough, but Jacob just stared at me, unmoving. He had the strangest look on his face, eyes extremely wide, reminding me of a deer caught in a headlight. Those eyes seemed to bore into mine like he was looking into my soul, and I fidgeted slightly, dropping my hand back to my side awkwardly. What was wrong with him? Something seemed to shift in his mind, and he dropped the large platter of sandwiches on the floor. I heard Leah curse quietly from behind me.

"Sorry about him Isabelle, he's just getting over a bad cold." She said in a strong voice, giving him a hard smack on the back of the head. Was it really a good idea to hit someone who was recovering from a sickness that hard? "Seth, why don't you walk him over to his room?"

"Yeah, okay," Seth said, giving him a look somewhere between pity and amusement. As soon as he tried to move him, it was like something clicked, and I jumped out of the way slightly while Seth practically wrestled him into his room, never breaking eye contact with me. Man, that was weird. I felt the other's watching me, making my face turn bright red, and ducked to help Leah pick the food up off of the floor. Charlie had a concerned expression on his face.

"Sorry about that," Leah said again. I shrugged, telling her not to worry about it, while trying to hide my curiosity. "Kid's a bit of an idiot, doesn't have great social skills either. So, how are you enjoying Forks so far?"

It was surprisingly easy to talk to Leah. Her brash voice and curt personality was kind of endearing for some reason, and I felt myself relaxing and smiling in her company.

A little while later, Seth and Jacob came back out of his room, and he seemed a little better. Seth squeezed in between Billy's and Harry's seats on the floor, and Jacob sat down on the floor against the wall closest to me.

"You feeling alright kid?" Charlie asked when he'd taken his seat, voice concerned.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I just had a stomach cramp. I'm great now though." His voice was smooth and strong, and I immediately noted that he had that same apparent air that his father did. There was something powerful and almost mysterious about it. I thought something was wrong with me when I realised how deeply I was analyzing this guy, and tried to concentrate on something else. I swear that I had seen Billy and Harry giving us curious glances.

I could feel him watching me though, and cursed Charlie for forcing me to look at him. "You didn't get to say hi to Isabelle, introduce yourself kid. No manners," he grumbled.

"Sorry about that Isabelle, I hope I didn't come off too weird. I'm Jacob." He held out his hand, stretching his big arm over Leah's lap, and I finally made eye contact with him again. He had a big, warm smile on his face, and his white teeth contrasted handsomely with his deeply tanned skin. I tentatively took his hand and shook it gently, and was surprised with how warm he was. It felt like he was burning with a high fever, but his face looked completely healthy though, glowing even. The way his eyes bore into mine gave me a strange feeling, and I fought the urge to fidget under his gaze.

"Hey." Wow, eloquent.

"It's really nice to meet you Isabelle." Another big smile.

"Uh, yeah. You too."

_You're being crazy_, I'd been telling myself for the past few minutes. I could swear that I could feel him openly staring at me. I was afraid to check and get caught again, the last time he had given me a direct, engrossing smile. What was _wrong_ with me? I started to feel extremely self-conscious, but kept my face as neutral and impassive as possible. Did I have something on my face, in my hair? I was sure that I didn't smell bad; I had only taken my shower a few hours ago, and I was partial to my berry-scented body wash and conditioner. Maybe it wasn't just me though, it seemed like Leah wasn't very impressed either. She stood up with a loud sigh, kicked him hard, and walked out of the room.

I jumped when he quickly moved over to open seat beside me. He was so big that he barely fit, and I found myself leaning into Charlie, trying to put some room between us. Charlie didn't seem to mind, but gave Jacob a calculating look before returning his gaze back to the football game. Jacob cleared his throat, and I finally gave in and returned his gaze. It was a mistake; I felt my blank expression crumble as heat rushed to my face. There was no way he didn't see it, but I couldn't bring myself to look away. There was something about the way he looked at me that pulled at my mind.

"So, how's the truck treating you?"

It took me a few seconds too long to reply. I had completely forgotten that this was also the kid that had rebuilt my truck's engine. "She runs great. I absolute love it to be honest. I'm sorry to take her away from you."

"Are you kidding? I'm _glad_. That truck was just way too slow for my taste, and it had just been wasting away on our lawn. I finished my Rabbit not long after I got my license, so we rarely used it." He noticed my confused look. "That's uh... a type of car," he explained, giving me another charming smile. I'm not sure if it was just because of my flushed face or not, but it felt like it had gotten warmer in here.

"Oh. Okay." I fidgeted slightly, and decided to have a chip. After I scooped up some dip and popped it into my mouth, I peeked back at him. He looked wide-eyed at the food on the table, like it had just magically appeared and he hadn't eaten in days.

"This dip is great, where did you guys pick it up?" I wasn't sure if he was serious or not, it was in a casserole dish after all. I told him that I made it.

Between Seth and Jacob, the food didn't stand a chance. I watched, a little worried about choking hazards, as the two of them inhaled the table full of snacks. Charlie hadn't been exaggerating in the slightest.

Half time started, and there was a sudden shift in the room. I had been distracted, not really noticing how closely the others had been watching the game, but they were now all turning in their seats and starting to engage each other in conversation.

Leah came back after about fifteen minutes, hair wet from the rain outside, and grabbed the plate with the few sandwiches that were left. She glared darkly at Jacob and her brother when they went to protest, and I couldn't help a small giggle escaping my mouth when I saw their faces blanch. Even though it only lasted a second, the light hearted feeling that came with it was distracting. How long had it been since I just laughed like that? I didn't know. The sound seemed to catch the attention of both Charlie and Jacob; they were both smiling at me happily. I didn't know how I felt about Jacob's, but I knew that I liked making Charlie smile. I don't know if I would ever be able to completely silence the small voice in the back of my mind, the one telling me that getting attached to any of this was a mistake that I would pay for, but I was determined to push past it and keep trying.

"So, how are you enjoying it in Forks so far?" Seth asked me, he had come over to our side of the room and the four of us made our own sort of bubble of conversation.

"I like it. It's a nice change from the city."

"Oh yeah? Where were you living before?" Leah asked curiously. I told them I had come here from Seattle, but before that I had lived in a small town called Newcastle just on the edge of the city, and she had an almost envious look in her eyes. They asked me about my school, they had all attended school on the reservation, and were surprised to find that I was already in my senior year. I didn't like telling people I had skipped a year, and opted for telling them that I had just started early. Leah had already graduated, and was now trying to figure out what she was going to do next. Seth was only fifteen, and was currently in his ninth year.

"What about you Jacob?" It seemed to take him a moment to realize I had asked a question. A slightly uncomfortable look appeared on his face.

"I'm uh… taking a bit of a break from school right now." He was obviously not saying something, but I didn't pry. I was all too familiar with the discomfort of being asked questions I didn't want to answer. He seemed relieved by my easy acceptance of his reply, his usual smile taking its place again on his face again. "But I'm working full time at a small garage right now." That didn't really surprise me. "Hey, would you like to come check out the car I built?" He asked me excitedly.

I tried not to hesitate too long while I chose my careful response. It wasn't a very creative line. He seemed like an okay guy, but I had no desire to go sit in an empty car with him alone. I had no idea who he was, but his strange apparent intrigue with me made me uneasy. I still didn't want to hurt his feeling though.

"Um, that's okay. It's really miserable outside." I was thankful at the moment for the thick curtains of snow coming down outside.

"You sure? It's really not that far-"

"Quit it Jake, she doesn't want to see your stupid car," Leah said in an annoyed voice. I caught her give me a secret wink. Yes, I believed we were going to get along just fine. "By the way, you stole my spot. I would like it back."

"Hey, it's my couch-"

"Jacob, manners," Billy chided. He sighed in defeat, and sat down on the floor dramatically. Leah sat down next to me again, and I had much more room.

"Have you seen Kill Bill?" She asked me randomly, once the game had started back up.

"Of course, it was a masterpiece," I said, and she mirrored my smile. "I haven't gotten to see the second one yet though."

"It's playing in the theatre in town. I had been planning to go see it soon. Do you have any plans tomorrow?"

"Well, I kind of have a job interview at eleven thirty, but that's it." That caught Charlie's attention.

"You have an interview already? Where?" He asked, surprised.

"At that sports outfitters store owned by the Newtons. Mike got me an interview. Sorry, I guess I forgot to mention it." I should have said something earlier, I hope I hadn't upset him.

"Oh. Well, the Newton's are nice people. I hope it goes well." He turned his attention back to the TV.

"Well, would you like to go see it afterwards? I could meet you in town around two."

"Would that be okay with you Charlie?" I asked him hopefully. I hadn't really hung out with anyone outside of school in a long time, and I couldn't help a flutter of excitement. Things were just so different here.

"Sure, I don't mind," he said absentmindedly. I noticed Jacob staring at Leah expectantly, but she didn't even acknowledge him.

The game ended shortly after, and Charlie wanted to head back before the roads got too bad. I thanked Billy for having me, and as we said goodbye Jacob hovered close by, an almost panicked expression on his face.

"It was really nice to meet you Isabelle," he said as Charlie opened the door. He looked like he was about to hug me for a second, and I was relieved when he seemed to catch himself. "We should hang out again soon."

He really was a sweet guy, despite how intense he was. The words came out of my mouth without pre-emptive thought. "Sure, I'd like that." His answering smile made my heart flutter slightly.

I heard Charlie's Police cruiser pull up my gravel drive way, but was distracted by Seth who was hoarding the platter of sandwiches his mother had brought over.

"Just give it here, I'll put it on the table."

"No you won't. You'll eat them all before we even make it out of the kitchen."

The thought had crossed my mind, I was starving. "No I won't. They're even less safe with you." He was distracted by the sound my father introducing Charlie's new foster kid to everyone in the living. Striking as quickly as a snake, I took advantage of his moment of distraction and expertly swiped the plate away.

"Hey!" He called, but I spun out of the kitchen.

It was like time had ceased to have meaning. My surroundings dissolved into nothingness, and the earth stopped spinning. There was no more gravity holding me to the face of this planet; her eyes were the only thing keeping me from floating away into oblivion. Those big, piercing green and yellow eyes. She had thick, dark blond hair that flowed to the middle of her back, and full pale lips. Her skin looked so soft, the color of cream, and she had the most stunning face I had ever seen. She seemed so delicate, so fragile, and the overwhelming urge to protect her was staggering. This was why I had been born.

"Hi, I'm Isabelle," she said quietly, her voice more beautiful than any music I had ever heard. I couldn't find words. She fidgeted, and I realized I had been standing here like a statue, staring at her in wonder. The room came back into focus, and realizing what had just happened, I lost my grip on whatever I had been holding. Thankfully, Leah covered for me.

"Sorry about him Isabelle, he's just getting over a bad cold." She smacked me in the back of the head, telling me to get a hold of myself. I barely felt it. "Seth, why don't you walk him over to his room?"

He went to move me, and my mind seemed to clear at his touch. _No, I couldn't leave her, I had just found her_! I went to fight him off, but I came so close to knocking into her, she barely jumped out of the way. Emily's face flashed in my mind, and I froze again. I stopped resisting and let him drag me to my room.

"God Jacob, you almost broke my nose," he said, slightly annoyed. I ignored him, even if I had broken his nose, it probably would have already healed.

"It's _Her_ Seth," I whispered, sitting down on my bed.

"Yeah yeah, I got that." He said dryly.

I had seen it happen before, in Sam's memories. The life-consuming, world-altering realization. But it didn't hold a candle to what it was like experiencing it for myself. Seth sat down beside me, and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You okay Jake?"

Of course I was, I was amazing, I had never felt so happy in my entire life. She was just past that door, sitting down in my living room. I need to see her. I needed to… what? She had never met me before, she had no idea who I was, or _what_ I was. I was a complete nobody to her, and she was my entire life. "What do I do Seth?"

"I don't know, talk to her I guess?" I looked over at him, and he had a teasing smile on his face. I punched him in the arm, making him laugh.

"I need to tell her. I have to explain. _I have to tell her everything Seth_. I don't think I even have a choice."

He studied me for a moment, contemplating his words. "Of course you do. You're our Leader Jake, and we trust you completely. But maybe… you should try to wait. Think about it, you'll scare her off, and she'll think you're nuts. Any sane person would. Just go out there, talk to her, and try to get to know her like a normal person."

He made complete sense, of course. I was just having troubling thinking straight. "What if... she doesn't like me?"

He clapped me on the back. "Don't worry. You remember how Emily was, she couldn't bring herself to stay away from him, and she was so pissed at him too. Besides, you're not that bad." I rolled my eyes.

"Jeeze, thanks for the amazing compliment bro."

I couldn't wait any longer, and we went back out to join the others in the living room. Isabelle was sitting on my couch between Charlie and Leah, who she was talking to. I leaned against the wall closest to her, and slid down to sit on the floor.

"You feeling alright kid?" Charlie inquired. Yeah, I definitely hadn't been very smooth earlier.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I just got a stomach cramp. I'm great now though." I wasn't really looking at him when I spoke. I was watching her, trying to figure out what to say. She didn't seem to notice me, or maybe she was trying to ignore me. Had I made her uncomfortable earlier? What was she thinking? Her face looked completely neutral as she watched the TV.

"You didn't get to say hi to Isabelle, introduce yourself kid. No manners," he grumbled. _Thank-you Charlie._

"Sorry about that Isabelle, I hope I didn't come off too weird. I'm Jacob." I leaned over Leah to stretch out my hand, and she finally looked at me. I would be completely content to spend the rest of my life just staring into those eyes. She took my hand, though a little hesitantly. Her hand was so soft and small, I might have held onto it for slightly too long.

"Hey." I waited for her to say more, but she remained silent.

"It's really nice to meet you Isabelle." The words didn't do my emotions justice.

"Uh, yeah. You too."

She was very quiet. She seemed like a shy person, but there was a quiet strength in her that I saw in the way she held her head, and I found in intriguing. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Somehow I managed to piss off Leah, not that that was hard. She stood up with a load sigh, kicked me, and headed outside. Even over the crunch of snow under her feet, I could hear her dialing her phone. I didn't hesitate in stealing her spot, and felt myself start to relax while being closer to her. I cleared my throat, and was rewarded by her acknowledging me. The blank expression she had worn faltered slightly, I heard heart rate increase slightly, and her face turned a lovely shade of pink. She smelt like strawberries.

"So, how's the truck treating you?" She took a minute before she replied, but thankfully didn't look away.

"She runs great. I absolute love it to be honest, I'm sorry to take her away from you." I was surprised to see her look completely honest about that, baffling me. The thing could barely push over sixty.

"Are you kidding? I'm _glad_. That truck was just way too slow for my taste, and it had just been wasting away on our lawn. I finished my Rabbit not long after I got my license, so we rarely used it." It had taken a lot of arguing with Billy, but he eventually caved. He couldn't argue about the gas mileage difference either. Her eyebrow lifted gracefully at the mention of the Rabbit. "That's uh... a type of car," I explained. Yeah, she didn't really seem like the car type.

"Oh, Okay." She seemed a little embarrassed, and unfortunately was the one to break eye contact. I followed her movement as she leaned over and grabbed a chip off of the coffee table. I saw then the half-eaten platter of sandwiches, a big bowl of chips, and a large casserole dish filled with some home-made dip that was currently being attacked by the entire room. I shot a look at Seth who had a stack of sandwiches sitting on a napkin that he was balancing on his knee, and my stomach gave an almost angry twitch. I grabbed a stack of my own, trying to get as many as I could before Leah came back. It sounded like she was talking Embry, and I smiled. I took a handful of chips, and tried the weird-looking dip. It was pretty awesome, and kind of reminded me of a taco salad.

"This dip is great, where did you guys pick it up?" I asked, hoping she would look at me. She didn't unfortunately, and I wondered if she was purposely trying not to look at me. I did want to know where she got it though, I would go out of my way to pick one up. Really fancy container though.

"Oh, I made that," she told me nonchalantly. She could _cook_.

Leah came back in at half time and sat where I had been sitting. Dad, Charlie and Harry started a heated discussion, and Seth came and sat with us. I tried to grab one last sandwich as Leah took the plate, but she shot me a glare so dark that I shied away. Isabelle seemed to find that funny, and a small laugh escaped her mouth. It didn't last nearly long enough, and seemed to make her very thoughtful.

"So, how are you enjoying it in Forks so far?" Seth asked her, stealing the question from me.

"I like it. It's a nice change from the city." I knew the appeal. I don't think I would ever want a city over my land here. I would miss it too much, the ocean, the deep forests, the feel of running as freely as I wanted. Enjoying the feel of dead leaves and sticks snapping under my large paws…

"What was your school like in Seattle?" Leah had asked her. She, on the other hand, had always wanted to move to the city. She didn't want to leave yet though, and I knew it was more because of her love for our land that stopped her than her problem controlling her temper.

"It was good. It was much bigger, so there was a much wider course selection. I'm in senior year, so it kind of looks like my last semester is just going to be a lot of repetition." She seemed genuinely sad over the statement, so would that imply that she actually enjoyed that aspect of school?

"You're in your senior year? I thought Billy had said that you were only a couple months older than me." Maybe he had heard wrong. Even if that was the case though, I knew I must look even older. I had finally seemed to stop growing when the leeches left, and had grown even taller than Sam after I accepted his title as Alpha, my blood right. I was at least a foot taller than the small woman sitting beside me though. She would fit so easily in between my arms…

"Yeah, I just turned seventeen in September. I started school a year early though. What about you Jacob?" I felt a small thrill in hearing her say my name. Like Seth had said though, it wouldn't be a good idea to rush into that. I did not want to scare her away, and it's not like I could talk about it in front of Charlie.

"I'm uh… taking a bit of a break from school right now." Worrying about what her follow up question would be, I was surprised when she just nodded. I didn't want to stop talking to her though. I would never want to. "But I'm working full time at a small garage right now." I wanted her to see that my skills were greater than what the final product of her truck had been. "Hey, would you like to come check out the car I built?"

"Um, that's okay. It's really miserable outside."

I looked out the window, and sure enough the snow was coming down in buckets. It was only a quick dash out the back door to my garage, and I wouldn't mind carrying her over there in the slightest. "You sure? It's really not that far-"

"Quit it Jake, she doesn't want to see your stupid car," Leah said in an annoyed voice. I looked at her curiously. Shit, I had probably sounded kind a pushy. Thanks Leah. "By the way, you stole my spot. I would like it back."

"Hey, it's my couch-"

"Jacob, manners," my Dad nagged me. I sighed, and reluctantly gave over my spot.

Leah started up a conversation with her easily, and it made me curious. She wasn't the type to put in much effort in making friends. She even asked her to hang out the next day, completely shocking me.

"Well, I kind of have a job interview at eleven thirty, but that's it."

"You have an interview already? Where?" Charlie asked, surprised.

"At that sports outfitters store owned by the Newtons. Mike got me an interview. Sorry, I guess I forgot to mention it." Mike? Who was Mike? I told myself to calm down. Of course she had other friends, I shouldn't act like a possessive jerk. The thought of another guy's arm around her made me extremely sad though.

"Well, would you like to go see it afterwards? I could meet you in town around two," Leah asked her.

She asked Charlie for permission, and something about her attitude that I had been looking ever since she entered my house clicked. For some reason, she seemed afraid. I could somehow now see the effort she was putting into keeping a strong, blank mask. Charlie was a great guy, I had known him my entire life and knew that he would never give her a reason to be afraid like this.

But she hadn't been with Charlie long, maybe two weeks now? She was a foster child, and it was obvious that she had a history. The vastness of seventeen years spread before me. What had she gone through in all that time? Did her fear stretch over onto me? I knew the answer was yes, I had seen it.

Charlie obviously didn't mind, and I saw a flash of happiness in both her and Leah. I got the impression that this might be as new for Isabelle as it was for her.

Too soon, the game ended. Charlie was getting up to leave, and I was filled with a feeling of panic. When would I be able to see her again? I needed to ask. I had asked out girls before, why was this so hard?

_Because this was completely different_, my mind answered simply.

"It was really nice to meet you Isabelle. We should hang out again soon." Oh, wow. That was moving. I mentally slapped myself.

She regarded me for one short moment. Couldn't she feel this connection? This force that was pulling us together? She _had_ to. "Sure, I'd like that." My face broke out into a full, unrestrained smile, and I was elated hearing her heart flutter slightly. I watched them walk out to their car, and as soon as they pulled out of the driveway I started shaking.

"Hey Jake? Maybe you should go outside for a bit." Seth said in a worried tone.

"Yes Jacob, go out and cool off for a bit son." That was my Dad. My head was starting to buzz and I ran down the steps, barely making it to the lawn before I phased.

_Hey Jake, Embry called me. I was waiting for you, how you holding up?_ Sam's voice floated into my mind, and I was aware of Quil in there too, trying to be silent. My mind felt so much clearer in this form sometimes.

_How did you know I would phase?_ He had been close by, and it only took me a moment to meet him by the river in the woods east of my house.

He played through the memory of when he imprinted on Emily. The almost dazed feeling of being in her presence, and the feelings that overwhelmed him when he had to leave her that first time. _I know Jake. It's going to be okay._

_You always seem to be there for me in moments like this Sam, Thanks. _The memory of my first shift came to the front of my mind. Sam had been there that time also, calming and reassuring me and helping me cope with The Change.

_No problem brother. Do you want to talk about it?_

I did. Sometimes it was annoying having the shared mind of the pack, but besides helping us hunt, it made us all extremely close. I trusted all of my brothers, and my sister, with my life and every secret in it. Sam patiently listened to me recount the longest, yet seemingly fastest football game of my life, and work through my emotions. I was overwhelmed, and felt like my life had completely changed in every aspect. I was afraid. Afraid of how she felt, if she would reject me, afraid I might hurt her, or scare her. What was I supposed to do next, and what would I do if she didn't want to be in my life, didn't even want to be my friend?

Sam helped by showing me the feeling of time already passed. How he had felt just like me in the beginning, and the feeling of their bond slowly becoming stronger over time. Under laying it all was the pain of hurting Leah in the process that he couldn't hide. He loved her, and would never be able to forgive himself for the pain her caused her, the pain we all knew she still felt. But there was no way to fight the strength of the imprint.

Time was the key, and I had an abundance of that. My Dad and I visited Charlie often, and the fact that that wouldn't change gave me more confidence. I would see her again soon, and I would get her to spend time with me somehow. I would work to become her friend, and that's all that really mattered. I just wanted her in my life, and I would be for her whatever she needed me to be. I didn't need any more than that, and finally reaching the conclusion I had been working towards relaxed me.

_Thank you Sam._ _It's true what they say about two heads_. I heard him chuckle in my mind. Finally, my world seemed to settle around me, and I became more aware of my other responsibilities. Quil and Paul had been silently waiting in the background, currently doing their patrols. _Anything interesting today guys?_

_Nope, things have been really quiet. Embry scared a bear away from the edge of town this morning though. _

Things had been quiet since the Cullens had left. It was peaceful. We didn't really like them, but after Doctor Masen had saved Harry after his heart attack, it'd been hard to hold real hate towards them. They'd been here for about five years, even though the older two men had been working in Seattle for most of them time, but their proximity to the reservation had activated the change in our people again. It's was a bit of a relief when they left, the pack was getting large.

_So, that's two of us now. Maybe it isn't as rare as they say in the legends._

_Maybe. We've also never had a pack as big as seven though._

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter Four: Comfortable

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. Caution: ****Will contain mature language and subject matter.**

**Chapter Four :: Comfortable**

I pulled into the parking lot of Newton's Olympic Outfitters barely after eleven. I was afraid that I would somehow get lost on the way, but I had made it here in less than ten minutes. I tried, and failed, to distract myself with my Spanish textbook, and resigned to just watching the arm of my watch tick by. Eleven twenty approached slowly, and I decided it would look better to be early anyways.

The main counter was right next to the entrance. It looked like Mike had been sorting through a large pile of pamphlets, and he noticed me as soon as I came in.

"Hey Isabelle! I'm glad you came," he said, walking around the counter and coming up to me.

"Thanks again Mike, I really appreciate your help."

"My pleasure. My Mom's in the back, I'll go grab her and be right back. Just wait here." I nodded and watched as he jogged to the back of the store. It was a nice place; very clean, and a really big inventory. Like Mike had predicted, it seemed really quiet at the moment, there was only one pair of shoppers that I could see, looking at some winter hiking boots.

Mike came around the corner with the woman I had seen him with once before at the grocery store. I made myself stand straighter when I saw them, and she smiled. "Hi, you must be Isabelle. Mike's told me a lot about you."

"Hi Mrs. Newton. It's really nice to meet you, and thanks for meeting with me today." I held out my hand and gave her a firm handshake.

"Oh it's my pleasure. It's always nice to have a new face in town." She turned to look at her son, who was hovering by my side. "Don't you have pamphlets to sort?"

"Well yeah, but I just thought I's help-"

"I am quite capable of interviewing my own employees Michael. I'm going to take Isabelle to the back; you keep an eye on the counter." He sulked back to his station after mumbling a "Yes Mom," and Mrs. Newton led me to the back office. She sat down behind a neat desk, and gestured for me to take a seat in the chair across from her. She took out a blank piece of paper and a pen.

"So Isabelle, do you have any working experience?"

"Before I came here, I had been working at a bookstore in Seattle for a few months, but had to resign when I moved here. I used to do some volunteer work at an animal shelter too before that."

"Oh that's sweet. Do you like animals?"

"I love them," I told her sincerely. I had always found them easier to connect with than other people, but I didn't say that aloud.

"Me too. We have two dogs at home; Bonnie and Clyde. They're German Shepherds."

""I'm jealous, those are my favourite breed. They're so smart and beautiful." I said dreamily. I had always wanted a dog.

"I agree. How old are you Isabelle?"

"I turned seventeen in September."

"Seventeen? I thought Mike said you were in senior year with him?"

"I am. I skipped the seventh grade."

"Oh, wow. That's pretty impressive. What sort of things do you like to do in your spare time?"

"Reading is my favourite hobby. I'm never bored if I have a book nearby. I like cooking too."

"Any sports?"

"No, not really," I admitted sadly. That was probably an important thing for an employee at a sporting goods store.

"That's okay dear. Right now I'm looking for someone part time. About eighteen hours a week, working Tuesdays and Thursdays from four until nine, and Saturdays from one to nine and the pay is minimum wage." She looked at me expectantly, then slimed slightly. "Does that work for you?"

Did it work for me? Did that mean I had the job? "Oh, yes. Of course. That would be great."

"Excellent. So, the job starts Tuesday. Is that too soon?"

"No, not at all," I answered happily.

"Alright, good to hear. If you have some free time now, I can take an hour to show you around the store and explain the job." I told her that I would love to, and she had me fill out some paperwork first. It took about twenty minutes, and then she led me back to the storefront. She walked me around and showed me the merchandise that they sold here, and how the different sections were organized. I would mostly be working cash and mopping floors, and I had no problem with that. As we were walking through the fishing section, she noticed something take my interest.

"It's a really good model. Very durable, water proof, and easy to clean and keep organized. Christmas present for someone?"

"Yeah. Charlie's tackle box is ancient, and not in the best of shape. I think this would be perfect for him."

"You're cutting it a bit close for shopping deadlines. Bring it on up to the cash, Mike can check it out for you. Employees have a five percent discount too."

Her words surprised me. "No, I couldn't, I haven't even started working yet."

"Nonsense, you're working right now," she told me with a smile. Her tone left no room for argument. She walked me over to the counter, telling Mike about the discount, and said goodbye, assuring me she would see me again on Tuesday.

"So, I take it that it went well?" He said with a smirk.

"Yeah. Your mom's a pretty awesome person. Thanks again Mike. I don't know how to repay you."

"Don't worry about it, you don't need to do anything. Just remember for the next time I have a problem in English class."

I smiled. "Of course, no problem." He wrapped up my tackle box, and waved as I headed back out to my truck. 

I had an hour before I was supposed to meet Leah, so I went home quickly to tell Charlie the good news and hide his present in my room. He seemed honestly happy for me, and I was glad that he seemed to approve. I grabbed a warmer scarf, and then headed off to meet Leah at the theater.

I was starting to get a little anxious, she was five minutes late. Maybe she had changed her mind. It's not like I had a phone for her to call if something had come up. I hope she wasn't hurt, the roads were pretty icy. Maybe I should just head home, how long should I wait for?

"Isabelle!" I turned around at the sound of my name, and Leah was jogging over to me quickly. I smiled in relief. "Sorry about that, the roads were really bad coming out of the reservation. I hope you weren't waiting long."

"Don't worry about it, I just got here too," I lied, not wanting to upset her. Bundled up in my scarf and heavy winter coat, I couldn't help but notice that she seemed dressed really lightly. She was wearing a t-shirt under an open denim jacket. "Aren't you cold?"

"Nope. You look like you're freezing though, let's head inside."

I followed her in, and we got in line to buy our tickets and some snacks. She got a big bag of popcorn and a pop, and I stuck with a bottle of water and a bag of chocolate covered almonds. The theater was packed, and we rushed to find a good seat. Following behind her, I felt slightly sorry for the couple that we came up to. They had thrown their bags and coats over a couple of seats, and after one dark glare from Leah they hastily grabbed their things and moved over. She dropped into her seat happily, seeming completely at ease. I decided to say nothing, almost fighting a small smile.

We sat through the movie quietly, but it was very comfortable. I was relieved that she wasn't the type to talk through a movie; it had always been a personal vexation of mine. "Thanks again for getting me to come out Leah, that was fun."

"Yeah, no problem. Do you feel like stopping for a hot chocolate or something?"

She had me at the word chocolate, and I was happy that she still wanted to hang out. I was a little worried that I might be boring her, but she seemed completely at ease with my quiet attitude. "Sure, that sounds great. Where did you park?"

"Oh, my cousin dropped me off. I was just going to call her for a lift back later."

"No problem, I'm parked right down the street. I can give you a lift home."

"Cool, thanks."

Like everything else, the Diner wasn't very far away. We settled into a booth and had each received our hot chocolates in a few minutes. It was quiet for a moment, and I couldn't help but speak my mind with her. "Leah, why did you want to hang out with me?"

She didn't look overly surprised by my question, but a little uncomfortable. She thought over her answer for a few moments before speaking. "I don't know… I don't really get along with many people. I guessed I've kind of felt like a bit of an outcast for a while, but when I saw you… I just gpt the feeling that you were kind of the same. Sorry if that sounds rude or whatever."

"No, it doesn't. You're right." That seemed to relieve her. "I'm not really used to this, just hanging out with another girl."

After we finished our drinks, we hopped back in my truck and I gave her a lift back to the reservation. She didn't live very far away from Billy, and I was almost confident that I wouldn't get lost on my way home.

"This was… nice. We should hang out again sometime."

"Yeah, I'd like that," I told her honestly. I gave her Charlie's house number, said good bye, and headed back home. For some reason, while driving back through the reservation, I had the odd feeling that I was being watched.

"Hey Bells!" Charlie called when I walked in the door. I took off my coat and untied my boots before finding him in the living room. "There's pizza in the kitchen if you're hungry." I went to apologize for not being home to cook dinner, but het cut me off knowingly. "Nope don't even start. You work hard enough as it is, you shouldn't feel obligated to cook for me every night."

I grabbed a slice and a glass of water from the kitchen before joining him in the TV room. "So how was the movie?"

"It was great," I told him, before taking a bite out of my pizza.

"That's nice. It's good to see you hanging out with kids your age." I nodded, agreeing with him happily. George had never let me hang out with kids after school, and I definitely wasn't allowed to have people over to visit. When I went back to the home, I didn't really see the point in trying. Charlie was nothing like that, and he honestly seemed happy to see me going out and doing things on my own. This new fact made me excited, and nervous.

"Yeah, it was nice. I hope you don't mind, but I gave Leah the house number in case she wanted to hang out again."

"Of course I don't mind, that phone is yours too, you can give the number to whomever you'd like." Something strange passed through his mind, and I knowingly waited for him to speak. He wasn't good at hiding his thoughts or keeping secrets, even though he seemed like the type to be completely uncomfortable to talk about personal subjects. "So, did Jake go to the movies with you guys?"

The sound of his name surprised me, and those deep brown eyes flashed in my memory. I had been a bit relieved that Leah hadn't even mentioned him while we were out. "No, it was just Leah and me. Why would Jacob have been there?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Sorry to break it to you Bells, but the boy was obviously smitten by you."

I choked slightly on my bite of pizza, coughing hard while I felt my face turn bright red. It was kind of nice knowing that the feeling that he had been openly staring at me wasn't just in my mind, but Charlie's seemingly easy deciphering of him set me on edge. This was very much foreign territory for me, and he seemed to see my uneasiness.

"Oh, don't worry about Jake. He's harmless. A really great kid actually. His Mom passed away when he was a kid, and he grew up helping Billy once he ended up in the wheelchair. He might not be the most… subtle person, but you got nothing to worry about." I had noticed that Billy hadn't had a wife, but obviously didn't say anything out of fear of being rude. I stored away this little detail, Jacob's responsibility and kindness, and put it into a small box of information to sort later in my mind. "If you have any problems though, just let me know. Teenage boys tend to back off when they see my gun." He offered me a goofy grin, and I couldn't help laughing.

"Yeah, he seemed like a nice guy," I offered, trying not to give my usual one word answers.

"Yeah. I've know the kid his whole life, watched him grow up. The two of them come over pretty often to watch games, and join me for a lot of holidays. Just a heads up."

I was intrigued by the slight fluttering in my stomach. Was it fear, anticipation, or maybe excitement? I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I changed the subject, telling Charlie what my hours would be like at my new job, and that I wouldn't be able to make dinner those nights. He didn't mind, and after assuring him that the hours wouldn't interfere with my school work, I washed my plate and headed up to my room.

After my shower, I walked back into my room and plopped down on my bed. Inspecting the newness of having my few meager possessions displayed to the world, I was oddly soothed. I flicked off my light, crawling into bed without even locking my door.

Seven thirty rolled around, and the store had finally quieted down. It had been very fast-paced, groups of people coming in, hoping to finish their Christmas shopping. Luckily I took to the cash register with ease, and didn't seem to upset many people with my learning status. Now the store was all but empty, and I leaned over the counter correcting Mike's English homework for him while he took mopping duty for me. I felt kind of bad at first, but would have felt worse if I let him turn this in. The boy did not seem to have any attention for grammar, and the essay was riddled with spelling mistakes. Mrs. Newton came in, and smiled gently towards me.

"I didn't think I would be hiring a tutor my son at the same time, it's a bit of a relief," she told me quietly. I smiled.

"I love this sort of thing. I've been thinking about going to college as an English major for a while, I think I would really like to teach."

"Well that is something refreshing to hear from a teenager. I won't stand in your way as long as your work gets done. It would actually be a good idea to leave a book around here for those quiet periods." I was relieved that she didn't see me as shrugging off my duties. I had finished Mike's paper, now covered in red pen marks, and left it on the front counter for him to rewrite as I took the mop from him.

"It's okay, I got it," he said chivalrously.

"No, you really need to rewrite your paper, it's due tomorrow Mike." I didn't understand how he could physically wait out until the last moment like that, the concept terrified me. He sighed in defeat, and handed over the mop. It's was only eight thirty when I finished, but Mrs. Newton was worried about the now heavily-accumulating snow, and told me I should probably head home before it got worse. Moved by her concern, I said good night and headed back to Charlie's.

He was in the driveway when I pulled up, pulling a large cardboard box out of his trunk. I ran over to see if he needed help, and landed face first in the snow a few feet shy of him. Dropping the box, he gave me a steadying hand to my feet.

"Man, we should get you some walking spikes for your boots or something. You okay?" I shied away from the idea of pointed metal objects on my feet, I would probably end up stabbing myself and losing a toe.

"Yeah, I'm good. What's in the box?" He was carrying it once again, and I closed his trunk for him then went to open the front door.

"The most delicious smoked turkey you will ever eat," he said in a teasingly, yes almost dazed voice. He caught my curious expression and explained. "I hope you don't mind, but Billy and Jacob are going to be joining us for Christmas dinner. Ever since his daughters moved away it's been sort of a tradition of ours." My stomach fluttered slightly when he said us, including me in his Christmas plans. I felt a small smile in my lips.

"Cool, what can I do to help?" He regarded me for a moment, debating his words. I could see that he didn't want me to go out of my way, but this was the sort of thing I was made for. I tried to encourage him. "I don't mean to sound conceited, but I make some pretty mean mashed potatoes," I told him with a grin. His eyes crinkled with his smile.

"Sure, if you feel up to it. We can take a run to the grocery store after I'm done work tomorrow if you want, the stores will be closed on Saturday for Christmas Eve."

"Sure, sounds great."

There was a tangible feel in the air at school to next day, the excitement of winter break buzzing in the air. The last three weeks had gone by better than I could have hoped for. I had finished and handed in my essays with ease, and was confident that during the next semester I would even be caught up with the others in my Spanish and History. The packages that my teachers had put together for me for the winter holidays gave me a hopeful feeling, I would be on par with everyone else in my grade in the new year. _For my last Semester of High School_. I couldn't help the smile on my face as I sat thumbing through the papers during lunch.

"I can't believe that they gave you that much work for vacation. It's… It's inhumane!" Mike said with complete disgust.

"I really don't mind it. It will be nice not to be behind everyone else in class anymore."

"What? Come on. You're like the smartest kid in school Isabelle."

The compliment made my cheeks flush, a sight that was just becoming too common on me in this town now. "Not in Spanish," I said quietly, making him laugh. I had actually found my History textbook to be an interesting read, and was almost finished it now, but it wasn't as easy to just learn a new language.

"So do you have any other plans for Christmas break Isabelle?" Angela asked me, thankfully changing the subject.

"Not really. I'm having Christmas dinner with Charlie and one of his friends, but besides that it will just be work and studying." I was used to the dark stares that Jessica would gave me whenever my new job was mentioned. She stopped sitting at our table on Tuesday. Thankfully Angela didn't abandon me though; I learned that she wasn't really friends with Mike and Tyler before, but was glad that she stuck around anyways. She was the only person I actually felt comfortable with talking to at this school.

"We should get together and hang out sometime, if you get bored," she told me shyly. I let her know that I would really enjoy that, and gave her the house number so that she could call. _Look at me, I have _two_ girlfriends_, I told myself in disbelief.

I had fun shopping with Charlie when he got off work. I offered to cook the meal for him, the hardest part was already done anyways, the turkey would just have to be carved and heated, and he gracefully accepted. Apparently, they would just usually get their turkey, and bake some potatoes wrapped in tinfoil in the over. I was baffled, and led the way to pick up all the ingredients that I would need to make mashed potatoes, stuffing, and gravy. I picked up some string beans and carrots too, knowing that Charlie really needed to be eating more vegetables. Onions on his pizza didn't count. I also picked up some stuff to make a big plate of brownies for desert.

Saturday was very peaceful. The store hours were altered because it was Christmas Eve, and I got back home before five. I came home to Charlie decorating a small tree. It looked almost four feet tall, and I think he had cut it down from behind his house. It was really nice; anything bigger would have just looked cluttered in the room. I made us a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches as he decorated it with a large bag of tiny red and silver bulbs. After we ate, I had a shower before putting on my sweats, and sat with him in the living room while I conjugated verbs in Spanish.

The odd feeling of something akin to déjà vu filled my mind, like I had lived this moment before. It was early in the morning, close to five, and there were fluffy, magical snowflakes slowly falling from the sky. It made my street look like something in a dream.

_It's Christmas_, a small voice in my head whispered. I knew my father hadn't gotten a tree, and I didn't expect any presents, but there was a small hopeful and curious part of me that felt like there just might be something different downstairs today. I wrapped my housecoat tightly around myself before sneaking downstairs as quietly as possible.

When I peeked around the corner, reality greeted me with a dark, completely indifferent living room. The sadness sat heavily in my stomach. Mom had loved Christmas, it was always her favourite time of year. Her absence was more real than ever this morning, and I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

"What's wrong with you?" A dark voice croaked from the corner, making me squeak. He was hidden in shadows, but I could almost make out his form when I squinted into his direction. I could smell something bitter in the air mixed with the smell of tobacco smoke. He laughed darkly, and I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to make myself smaller. "Let me guess, you came to see if _Santa Clause_ left you any presents?" He coughed loudly, almost a hacking sound, and I could make out the motion of him shaking his head in the dark. I leaned into the wall.

"Stupid girl. He doesn't exist. There are no fairy talks in this world. Get out of here."

I awoke slowly, my eyes remaining dry. I refused to give tears to his memory.

That had been eight years ago, but there was one thing that hadn't changed since that day. Christmas, more than any other thing in the world, made me miss my Mom. I tried to remember her voice, waking up to the sound of her singing Christmas carols loudly and off key. I felt like a rock had settled in my stomach, realizing that I couldn't remember what her voice had actually sounded like anymore. I pulled my quilt more tightly around me, and gently picked up my photo album. I stared at it for a few moments before I was able to bring myself to open it.

They were all pictures of my Mom and I; some of us together, but mostly just pictures of her, and a small collection of my little school year photos. We didn't look much alike; I had ended up with my father's face and features. But she had the same green eyes that I did. I remembered a few years after the accident, my father had starting throwing pictures into the fire place after an afternoon of drinking. Fearing that he would destroy them all, and that I would forget our memories, I started stealing any picture of her I could find. When he found out, it had been the first time he had ever hit me. It was worth it though, and he never found my secret collection that I kept under a loose floorboard in my room.

I continued to stare at my photos even as I heard Charlie wake up, have his shower, putter around in his room and eventually go downstairs into the kitchen. I wasn't sure how I felt about going downstairs today. The smell of bacon wafted up to my room, making my stomach grumble. I went through the list of things I would need to do today in my mind, and made myself get dressed. I knew from a first glance that my hair would be a lost cause today, and put it up into a messy bun on top of my head. I made my bed, and gave my photo album one last squeeze, before putting it away again.

"Merry Christmas Mom," I whispered to the empty room, before grabbing Charlie's Christmas present and heading downstairs.

"Morning Bells, Merry Christmas," Charlie wished me happily as I came into the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas Charlie," I said, with all the happiness I could muster. I didn't want to drag down his happy mood with mine. He handed me a plate, and seemed really fidgety as we sat and ate. He grabbed the dishes to start cleaning before I could, and I went to sit with him in the living room for a while before I needed to start cooking. He turned on the TV, and the flickering glances that he kept shooting me had me distracted. He looked really uncomfortable, and I wondered if I had done something that upset him. "Is everything okay Charlie?" I asked, trying not to let my fear leak into my voice.

He looked surprised for a moment, then guilty, and he came and sat beside me on the couch. "Everything's fine, sorry. I'm just not really... good at this sort of stuff." I raised an eye brow curiously, and he sighed as he ran over to the tree, and picked up a small package wrapped in red paper. "Merry Christmas, kid."

I regarded it in surprise, and he had to poke me with it before I could actually bring myself to touch it. This was my first Christmas in a foster home, and I hadn't been expecting anything. I gingerly unwrapped the paper, and opened up the soft, grey velvet box with trembling hands. Inside was a delicate silver chain, with a small, emerald pendant.

"Charlie… this is too much, I can't accept this," I said quietly, trying to hand the box back to him. He shook his head, giving me a gentle smile.

"Isabelle, I don't have any family of my own. I have no brothers or sisters, nieces or nephews. This necklace belonged to my mother before she died. The first time I met you, and saw your eyes, they reminded me of this necklace." He took a deep, steadying breath. "You may have only been here a few weeks, but you truly feel like my family already. I want you to have this. And if you'll agree, I want to adopt you. I want this to me permanent."

I stared at him in astonishment for a few, long moments, repeating his words in my mind while trying to figure out where I had misheard him. He kept eye contact with me though, and I couldn't doubt the sincerity in his eyes. He was completely serious. I don't know why, but for some reason this kind, gentle man seemed to truly care about me. He was everything I always dreamed of having in a father, and the happiness that dawned inside me was almost suffocating. For the second time, I flung my arms around him and hugged him as tightly as possible. "Thank you Charlie."

His arms wrapped around me hesitantly, and I heard his voice rumble through his chest. "Is that a yes?" He asked, sounding bewildered. I nodded my head, and he hugged me tightly. "Oh Bells, I am so happy right now. Thank you so much for coming into my life."

We were quiet like that for a moment, and he kind of cleared her throat oddly. Face flushed, I pulled away quickly, but couldn't hide my smile. I let him fasten the necklace around my neck for me, and the cold stone felt soft and comfortable against my chest. "Oh! I almost forgot, I got a gift for you too!" I dashed to pick up the box in the hallway, almost tripping over my own feet on the way back, and handed the silver package to Charlie. He mumbled something about how I shouldn't have and didn't need to get anything, but I ignored him and ushered him to open it. I was rewarded with an ear-splitting smile, and could swear I even saw a tear in his eye.

"This is perfect Isabelle, thank you so much. I love it." Reminding me of a child with his toys on Christmas morning, he ran down to the basement, grabbing his old tackle box and started transferring its contents over to the new one.

He told me that I had another package under the tree absentmindedly, and I approached it curiously. It was a small square box wrapped in brown packing paper, with a letter taped to the front. The return address on it had Renee's name on it.

She had just taken on my case early this year, and I was touched that she thought to send me something. I opened up the letter curiously.

_Dear Isabelle,  
I hope that this holiday is filled with joy in your new home. I worry about you often, but I know that you're in good hands with Charlie. Here's something small to help make some memories. Don't make a big fuss about it. I won it in a raffle, and it wouldn't last a day in my house with four boys. Merry Christmas honey, take care.  
Love,  
Renee_

I tore off the paper, and revealed the box for a small silver digital camera. Wow. I sat with Charlie on the living room floor, the both of us playing with our new toys. He helped me set up the camera, and I started to immediately take pictures. I wanted to remember this day for the rest of my life.

Noon came by quickly, and I hastened to get to work. I made my brownie batter, and shoved the dish in the oven quickly. While it was cooking I peeled my potatoes, and left them in a pot of cold water on the stove for later. I started cutting up my bread and vegetables for the stuffing, and washed and peeled the carrots and string beans while Charlie expertly carved up the bird and put it in a roasting dish. I think he was afraid I would hurt myself with the large knife, but I didn't mind. I probably wouldn't have even been able to lift the giant bird. The brownies were out and cooling on the counter, all of the dishes were in their respective cooking containers waiting to be cooked, and I was just finishing the dishes when I heard a car door shut outside. I dashed over to the window, and saw Jacob as he expertly transferred his Dad out of the car into his chair. I was worried that he wouldn't be able to roll his chair through the thick snow, and my jaw dropped as I watched him easily carry the chair with his father in it across the lawn. Kind of freaked out, I dashed back into the kitchen before anyone realized that I had been watching.

There was a loud knock on the door before they let their selves in, and I walked calmly back to the front door. I was immediately pulled into Jacob's intense gaze again, feeling almost trapped. He gave me a bright, charming smile.

He was just so _big_. He was obviously strong, but there had just been something… off about the way he had carried Billy. I immediately felt like there was something going on with him, something not normal. The mystery intrigued me more than frightening me.

"Hey Isabelle, It's nice to see you again," he said with transparent honesty. I was trying to fight the blood from rushing to my face.

"Yeah, you too. Merry Christmas." I went to head back to the kitchen, ready to start turning everything on. Billy followed Charlie into the living room, and I jumped slightly when Jacob slid out a chair from the table. He was very light on his feet, I hadn't even heard him walk in.

"It smells great in here Isabelle," he told me politely. There was something in the way that he said my name that intrigued me. It was just a name, you couldn't really say it much different, but at the same time no one had ever said my name like _that_. Something inside of me really liked it, and I wanted to hear him say it again. "Do you enjoy cooking?"

I started to pull out dishes and all the other utensils I would need while I answered. "I guess so."

"Why?" He was watching me intently, like he truly wanted to know the answer. My mouth answered honestly without thought.

"My Mom started to teach me when I was really little. She loved to cook, and always made it like a game. I loved it, and just never really stopped. There's something rewarding about seeing someone enjoy something that you made with your own hands." He seemed to hang on to every single word I said, like he was trying to commit it to memory.

"What happened to your Mom?"

"She died in a car crash when I was eight."

I didn't see the usual pity that I detested that most people usually expressed when they found out about my parents. Jacob had only a deep look of understanding, no judgment.

"My Mom died in a car crash too, when I was nine. Sorry, I know its sucks." I nodded in understanding. Jacob Black didn't seem like the type that wanted someone's sympathy either. We seemed to share a moment of quiet understanding. I turned on the burner for the pot of potatoes.

Charlie came in to grab a can of beer from the fridge, and Jacob got up and grabbed some pop while he was there. "Hey Charlie, dinner will be done in about an hour." He seemed to grasp my unspoken question as I pictured fitting the four of us; Jacob the giant that he was and Billy with his wheelchair in the small kitchen.

"I have an extra coffee table in the basement, how about we put it against the one in the living room. We should all be able to fit around that with the dishes. There's a bunch of cork plates in the bottom cupboard that you can use to just set all the dishes on."

Jacob grabbed it for us, carrying it like it was a piece of cardboard. I grabbed a table cloth from the linen closest upstairs. When I went to unfold, Jacob came up beside me. "Here, I can do that for you," he said, taking my wrist. I automatically flinched away at the unexpected contact, and backed right into Charlie.

"Hey, you okay Bells?" He asked, voice filled with concern. My heart was racing, and a quick glance at Jake showed a face filled with some strong emotion that I couldn't name.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said. I felt really bad, but was too shaken to say anything else. Charlie picked up the table cloth from the ground, handing it to me and asking Jake if he could speak to him in the kitchen with a calm voice. I stood still for a moment, before taking a steadying breath and laying out the table cloth neatly. I walked very cautiously towards the kitchen.

"-know you didn't mean anything by it. But she's just really not comfortable with people getting in her personal space. Just try to keep your distance a little when you're next to her."

"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to scare her. You think she's alright?" Jacob's voice was thinly veiled panic.

"She'll be fine. She was the same way with me before. Just back off a bit kid."

I appreciated Charlie's concern, but didn't want to let them talk about me like I was someone who needed to be sheltered. Yeah, okay, I had a bit of an issue with my space bubble. But people shouldn't just walk up and touch someone they barely knew. No one at school ever just came up and grabbed me, and I obviously wasn't the hugging type. I cleared my throat before I walked back in, and turned on the vegetables and gravy without looking at either of them.

I was a little relieved that Jacob decided not to make a big deal about it, and just acted like nothing happened. I didn't want him to be weird with me. He inquired about what I was doing, intently watched me as I whipped up the potatoes with an electric hand mixer, and helped me carry everything over to the table when it was ready. All without getting closer than three feet towards me. I relaxed again, incident forgotten, and sat down with the others.

Charlie and Billy were sitting on the couch, his wheel chair tucked away in the corner, and Jacob and I sat on either side of them, facing each other. We left the TV on in the background, some Christmas movie playing, and all chatted comfortably together while we ate.

"Oh my god Isabelle, these potatoes are amazing. It's like Icing."

I chuckled, "What?"

"I want to build a cake out of steak and use these potatoes to frost it like icing," he said, completely serious. I burst out laughing at that, not being able to contain myself, and he replied with a dazzling smile.

Dinner disappeared quickly, Bill and Charlie both having seconds, and Jacob having fourths. He helped me wash all of the dishes, telling me stories about Billy and Charlie while we cleaned. I sliced up the brownies when we finished, topping them with some vanilla ice cream and bringing them into the living room for Charlie and his Dad. Billy had shifted to one of the recliners like Charlie, and I sat down on the couch with Jacob. He took up most of it.

"You have a yellow stripe in one of your eyes, it's really cool," he said, staring openly once more. It didn't make me as uncomfortable as it had before though. There was something flattering about it.

"Partial Heterochromia," I blurted out.

"Hetero what?" He asked, bewildered.

"Partial Heterochromia, it's the result of a lack in melanin."

"What's melanin?"

"Pigment," I answered with a smile.

"Neat. It's really pretty." My face started to burn, but I couldn't seem to look away. The heat seemed to roll off of him in waves, and I thought of when I had shaken his hand last weekend. He had felt as though he'd been running a dangerous temperature. I noted that just like Leah had the other day, he had come over in no more than a t-shirt and a light open jacket. I tucked those details away with the memory of his eerie strength, and that he looked closer to the age of twenty-five than seventeen. "Oh! I almost forgot," He exclaimed, and pulled a small package out of his side pocket. He handed it to me. "It's a gift, Merry Christmas."

"What? You didn't need to get me anything Jacob. I didn't even think to-"

"No no, it's nothing. I made it myself, so I didn't even pay anything for it. Take it."

It was thin and light, just wrapped in ordinary newspaper. I delicately peeled off the tape, and inside the folded paper was a pretty dream catcher. About the size of my palm, it was made out a thin branch of some kind of red wood. There was a pretty netting made out of white thread that had tiny lavender beads in places. Three soft, fluffy white feathers hung off of the bottom.

"Wow Jacob. It's beautiful, thank you," I told him sincerely. I tried to put as much gratitude as possible into my smile.

"Don't worry about it, it's nothing."

He asked me what I had planned for my winter break, and I told him about my new job and the large pile of homework in my room.

"Well, there's going to big a big bonfire on the beach by my house on New Year's Eve. Do you want to come?" I looked over at Charlie, who I knew to be eavesdropping on our conversation.

"I'm going to have to work New Year's Eve, it's always a busy night. If you want to, you can go."

"I'll be there too, it's kind of a town event," Billy said. Noting it wouldn't just be a group of kids drinking on a beach, I was a little reassured. Why not? It sounded like it could be fun.

"Will Leah be there?" I asked curiously.

"Definitely. Seth and her parents too."

"Okay, sure. It sounds fun." My heart fluttered slightly at his smile again, and I tried to convince myself that I wasn't going just because I wanted to spend more time with him. It was late when they left to go home. I wrapped up a giant dish of leftovers for them, and was thanked again for cooking dinner. I smiled when I had to almost reassure Jacob that I would see him on Saturday, telling him I would come over around eight. I tied the dream catcher to the frame of my bed, just above my pillows before I fell asleep.

Charlie went back to work on Monday, and it was a little eerie being alone in the house for so long. It was a productive day though. I was able to finish my writing assignments for History and English by about four, and went down to the kitchen to make some croquettes from yesterday's leftovers for dinner. I was happy to finish all of my Calculus before work the next afternoon, and revelled in the fact that I would only have my Biology worksheets and Spanish left to do. Work on Tuesday was nuts, the busiest I had ever seen the store. There were a lot of exchanges to do too, and by the time nine-thirty rolled by my head was spinning. I had gotten some extra hours and come in early to help with the Boxing Week sales rush, and stuck behind a little later to help with the cleaning. Mrs. Newton was now shooing me out the door, not wanting me to fall asleep behind the wheel, and I barely made it to my bed before I fell asleep as soon as I got home.

I was sitting by myself Wednesday morning in the kitchen, just enjoying a glass of juice while I read the newspaper, and the house phone rang. I hesitated, having never answered it before, but told myself that I was being ridiculous and ran over.

"Hello?"

"Hey Isabelle, it's Renee."

"Oh hi Renee! How are you? Merry Christmas, and thank you so much for the camera! I love it." I rushed through the words, just getting excited by the sound of her voice. I missed her.

"I'm good thanks, and a belated Merry Christmas too you too sweetheart. How did spending the day with Charlie go? How are you doing?"

"Things are going well here. I'm doing really well in school, made a few friends, and even got a part time job," I informed her happily. Charlie had probably told her all that already, but it was nice to talk to her. "And things are going really well with Charlie."

"So I can see, he filed for adoption papers," she said. Hearing it again from her gave me that excited feeling again. "How do you feel about that?"

I had been thinking about it for the past couple days, and decided to voice my concerns right away. "I really like being here with Charlie, I don't want to leave. But it does feel like it happening really fast. Do you think it's a good idea?"

She thought about her answer. "I think it's a great idea Isabelle, but I would never force you to do something like this if you didn't want to. I just had to make sure. People adopt children that they haven't even met all the time; you guys just have the advantage of already gotten to know each other." Her logic calmed me. She also pointed out that it wouldn't affect my trust fund, and that we would still be staying in contact. There would still be follow-ups just like before.

I asked her about her family, I always enjoyed hearing the uninhibited affection in her voice when she talked about her sons. We chatted about my school and new job for a while, but she had to get back to work. She told me that she had set an appointment with Charlie on the fourth to do the paperwork, and that she would be seeing me then.

I hopped in the shower then, and the phone rang again just after I stepped out. It was only noon, and Charlie wouldn't be home for a while, so I ran down in my towel to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hey Isabelle, It's Angela."

"Hey Angela," I said happily. I felt kind of popular today, the thought of two callers making me grin. "How are your holidays so far?"

"Oh they're going pretty well. Ben's out of town with his parents visiting family for a while, so I've been cooped up at home. I thought I'd call and see if you wanted to meet up for a bit today? We could just hang out at my place and do some homework."

"That actually sounds great," I said honestly. "I have a bunch of Biology work sheets to do." She gave me directions to her house, it was really close to the Diner, and told her that I'd head over in about an hour. After we hung up, I went back upstairs and got dressed. I dried my hair as thoroughly as possible, knowing it would freeze as soon as I walked outside. I tidied up my room, packed my work into my backpack, and had a quick lunch before heading out.

Angela's father was at work, but she introduced me to her Mom and twin younger brothers. They were only five, and completely adorable, though they looked to be quite a handful. Her Mom was a sweet woman, and held a striking resemblance to her daughter. After our quick introduction, we went and hid in her room.

I discreetly took in the details of her room while we sat down on a thick, circular rug in the middle of her floor. She had pale yellow walls, and a fluffy white bed that had a pile of stuffed animals next to it. Her walls were covered in random posters, pictures and photos, and her shelves and desk were covered with all sorts of different knickknacks. I had a flash of envy; this is what the room of a girl who had gotten to live her life in one place was like. I had become a bit of a minimalist since my father died. Besides a safety deposit box at a bank in Newcastle, all of my possessions fit neatly into two suitcases. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind. I wouldn't get upset with this, and I wouldn't be angry with Angela for something that was out of her control. Though I wondered if she knew how truly lucky she was.

After a few moments, that calmed feeling that came with her company settled over me. I felt so comfortable around her relaxed personality, and it reminded me of Leah. They were complete opposites and I had difficulty picturing them together, my two friends, but they had the same effect on me when we were together.

We sat comfortably on her floor, listening to the radio and chatting easily while we did our homework. We talked about our Christmases, and I took a picture of her with my new digital camera. We talked about her boyfriend Ben, and some of the other boys at school.

"Has Mike asked you out yet?" She asked in a forced nonchalant tone, but there was a hint of a smirk on her face.

"What? Why would you ask that?" I said, face flushing.

"Come on Bella, it's obvious that he has a total crush on you. It's why Jessica… is not fond of you," She tried to say delicately.

"Mike's a… nice guy, but he's really not my type." I told her honestly. He was friendly enough, but I couldn't see myself actually hanging out with him and enjoying it. There was something about him that let me know that he just wanted what every other boy his age wanted. He didn't actually like_ me_, he didn't really even know me. I was just someone new in the town he lived in since he was a child. Angela must have sensed my unease, and switched to an easier subject.

"So, how is your mountain of homework coming along?"

I tried not to smile too obviously. "Great actually, after this," I gestured to the papers spread out in front of me, "All I have left is my Spanish." I tried not to sound too proud, no one liked a gloater.

"Lucky. I still have my math, reading, and two writing assignments to do," she said glumly.

We both ended up finishing our Biology. It didn't take me long, but Angela was happy to accept some help. I didn't give her the answers, but I made it much easier to find the answers she was looking for. "Why are you so good at this stuff?" She asked me, a little irritated at the textbook.

I didn't want to come off like a snob, but I also didn't want to tell a lie to her. I wanted us to have a real friendship, and I know that couldn't last if I kept it too one sided. Besides, this gentle girl wasn't the judging type. "I've always been really into school. I know it sounds cheesy, but I just love learning new things. I was in some advanced classes at my last school, but Forks didn't really offer any of those. Most of my classes right now are more of a repeat of last year for me." I doodled on the back of my notebook while I talked.

"Oh. That must be really boring," she said with sincere sympathy, I smiled to reassure her.

"A little, but's it's not too bad. At least it's easy to keep my grades up. The History curriculum is different here, and I had never taken Spanish before, so they've been keeping me on my toes," I told her happily.

"So, what are you doing for New Year's?"

"Well, Charlie's friends are having a bonfire down on the Reservation; I told them I would go to it. What about you?" I asked, but I was thinking more about Jacob's bright smile than listening to her answer. She let me know that she would be going to a small party with Ben.

"I was going to drive up to Port Angeles to get something nice to wear though, on Friday morning. Would you like to come?"

"Sure," I told her happily. There were a few things I wanted to pick up too, and the resources here were extremely limited. My stomach growled loudly, and looking at the clock I realized it was almost four thirty. I excused myself, thanking Angela and her Mom for having me over, to go home and make dinner. Angela told me that she would come over at about ten on Friday to pick me up.

I got home, put my stuff away in my room, then started rummaging around the kitchen to find something to make for dinner. I cooked some bacon for a Cesar salad, and breaded a couple chicken breasts. After frying them for a couple of minutes on each side to make them crispy, I transferred them over to a baking sheet to finish it the oven. I did love fried chicken, but I preferred doing it this way. Finishing them in the oven released a lot of the extra oil, so it tasted great but was _slightly_ healthier.

Charlie came in just after I was taking them out of the oven, and I assembled a salad while he got changed out of his uniform and put away his gun. He never left it downstairs since that first time it spooked me.

"So how was your day Bells?" He asked, mouth full.

"Really good. Renee called this morning, and I talked to her for a while. Then Angela invited me to hang out, and I spent the afternoon at her place doing homework with her."

"That's nice, the Webber's are a good family," he said. Everyone in this town knew each other. I told him about my shopping plans with her on Saturday, and he gave me a curious expression. My stomach sank.

"Is that okay?" I asked timidly.

"Of course," he replied, composing his face. "Port Angeles is a big city though, I just worry about you girls being there by yourself."

I smiled at his concern. "I did grow up in Seattle Charlie, I think I can handle Port Angeles."

He nodded, but got up and fished something out of a kitchen drawer. The one that was filled with random things like, pens, batteries and random papers, before sitting back down. "You're right, but I would feel much more comfortable if you carried this with you." He handed me a small container of pepper spray.

I raised an eye brow. "I really don't think it's necessary Charlie-"

"Please Isabelle? Just humor me," he asked, voice filled with concern. I nodded, and slipped in into the pocket of my jeans.

I was back to my usual hours on Thursday, pulling into the parking a lot at a quarter to four. I dropped my purse in my cubby behind the main counter, slipped on my blue vest, and went to start bagging the items that Mrs. Newton was ringing through.

"Thank you dear," she said with a warm smile. "How are you enjoying your holidays so far?" I assured her that they were going well, and then she asked me to start unloading a flat of merchandise that her husband was pulling up the aisle. As I started cutting open the boxes and scanning the barcodes of the new tents, I tried to fathom why anyone would want to go camping in the snow. The packs were quite heavy, and after about an hour and a half I could feel a faint sheen of sweat on my face, and my arms were starting to feel kind of rubbery. I was trying to get one onto the top shelf that was just slightly out of my reach, when someone taller came up behind me and took it out of my raised arms.

"Oh, thanks Mike," I said, trying to regain some more of my personal space.

"Don't mention it. Here, I'll do the top one's for you," he offered. I nodded another thanks, and started scanning them into the system, then passing them over for him to stack on the shelf. We worked in silence for almost twenty minutes, and I could feel his gaze flicker to me every few minutes. We finished, and I sighed in relief before smiling at him. He shifted a little closer to me, and I watched in disbelief as he raised a hand towards my face. It looked like he was trying to tuck a stray lock of hair behind me ear, but I backed away before he could. Seemingly unfazed, he dropped him arm and shrugged with a guilty smile. "So Isabelle, a bunch of friends and I are going to this all ages club in Port Angeles for New Years. You should come with us," he told me confidently while we started to break the cardboard packing boxes. I fidgeted slightly, Angela's words echoing in my mind. I didn't want to come off rude though, I liked my job.

"Oh, thanks, but I sort of already have plans," I told him politely.

"Oh, okay. Cool. No problem." He didn't seem very used to rejection as he turned around and rolled the pallet into the back by himself, and I tried not to smile.

I spent the last two hours of my shift sweeping and mopping the floors while Mrs. Newton watched the counter and filled out some paperwork. Nine rolled around, and she caught me as I was putting away my vest. "Oh Isabelle, don't forget this," she said, handing me a white envelope. _My first paycheck_, I noted with a smile. "We'll still be open on Saturday, but we'll be closing early, so I'll just need you until about five." She informed me. I told her that was fine, wished her a good night, and headed back out to my truck. I couldn't help a smile at the number on the piece of paper. Not only had I gotten extra hours on Tuesday, but I was paid time and a half for working Christmas Eve. I was definitely going to get my blow dryer.

I woke up early the next day with Charlie, jumping into the shower as soon as he headed to work. Now that things had gotten more comfortable, he was back to his old hours of working six to five. I worried about his long hours, but even in a small town like this, the position of Chief of Police seemed to come with a large plate of work. I made it to the bank when it opened at eight, cashing my cheque and taking out some spending money, and got back home with an hour to spare before Angela came over. Feeling a little mentally drained, I sat down in front of the TV and just watched the Weather Network for a while.

I wasn't very big on shopping, and this was the first time I had ever just gone out with another girl my age and done so. I could tell that she wasn't overly big on the idea either, but we each had a good time. We made it to the mall in Port Angeles just after noon, taking the roads carefully through the snow covered roads. We stopped at few clothing stores, Angela bought s simple red dress for her party, and I got a couple new pairs of jeans, some shirts, and a new pair of boots. There was a small hole in my current pair, and I decided that it was time that I replaced them. Angela helped me pick out a new blow dryer.

She was very patient with me while I browsed through the small Chapters outlet that we found. I was glad; this was my haven. I never felt more at home anywhere, even at Charlie's, as I did when I was in a book store. I loved the quiet atmosphere, and the feeling of being surrounded by so much untapped sources of knowledge. She stuck close by, and caught me opening up a thick novel and taking a deep breath of the fresh pages. It made her laugh, and she raised an eye brow at me curiously. "Did you just smell that book?"

My face turned bright red as I tried to defend myself. "The smell of a new book is my favourite scent in the whole world. Come on, try," I said, holding the open book towards her. She laughed again, but conceded, taking a small whiff.

"Hmm, interesting," she said. I could tell that she didn't really get it, but was relieved that she didn't tease me about it. We walked around for a little while, and when our stomachs both growled hungrily, she took us to a nice Italian restaurant that she liked in town.

It wasn't a long walk from where we parked her car, but the air was sharply cold, and we both relaxed as soon as we walked into the warm, delicious smelling establishment. We had to wait a few minutes in line, but were escorted to a small table in the middle of the busy restaurant after about ten minutes. She ordered a Panini with a side of fries, and I ordered some pasta with rosé sauce, peppers and spicy Italian sausage. It was delicious, and I made a note to try and make it for Charlie some time. After desert, I ordered a second piece of the delicious chocolate cheesecake to bring home to Charlie. We paid our bills and made the slow drive back home to Forks. It took me a couple minutes to convince her to take some money for gas, and we planned to meet up some time next week to hang out again.

Charlie was relieved to see me make it home safely, and more than thankful for his dessert.

I was a little on edge at work the next day. Not because I was working alone with Mr. Newton by myself for the first time, but because of my plans for the evening. This party would be yet another first for me, and I wouldn't have Charlie there acting as a buffer this time in the group of people. I was looking forward to hanging out with Leah again though, and had an odd sense of excitement about the idea of seeing Jacob Black again.

There was a small rush at the end of my shift, and Mr. Newtown thanked me gratefully for staying the extra hour to help out, before saying goodbye and wishing me a happy New Year. The weather was strangely calm today, and I hoped it would hold up. I thought it was a little curious for them to have a bonfire on a beach in the middle of winter, and hoped the fire would be strong enough to fight off some of the cold.

I was surprised to see Charlie at home when I finished, but he told me that he wanted to get a bit of rest since he would be at the station overnight. I left him to drift off on the couch while I puttered as quietly as possible upstairs. I took another shower, and was happy with the result of my new blow dryer. I had never been able to get my hair so straight before. I picked out my outfit carefully; a warm pair of jeans that still looked nice, thick socks, and the new red blouse that I had gotten with Angela yesterday. The time seemed to tick by slowly as I glanced at the clock, trying to distract myself with the new novel I had gotten. Charlie went back to work, and I killed the last two hours baking a big tray of Blondies to take down with me.

I pulled into the Black's driveway just after eight, and Jacob was outside rushing to my door before I killed the engine. He opened my door for me, and for a minute actually looked like he was going to hug me, but the look disappeared quickly as he backed away slightly and help the door for me to come out like an old time gentlemen. I cursed my traitorous face for blushing.

"Hey Isabelle, I'm glad you're here. I was worried you might change your mind," he admitted shyly.

"It's nice to see you too Jacob. Thanks again for inviting me," he had no idea about the awkward party invitation he had saved me from accepting. I slid out of the car, carrying the plate of snacks, and he gently closed the door behind me before leading the way to the house.

"Ooo, what are those?" He asked excitedly when we were inside. I peeled the tinfoil back to show him. He had never heard of Blondies before, they were terribly under-advertised. I explained to him that they were like a chocolate free brownie with extra nuts, and he plucked one off the top without shame, popping the entire square into his mouth. "Wow, they're delicious. We should probably leave them in the kitchen for now so I don't eat them all." He told me that there would be a couple tables for food at the beach later that I could leave them on, and we went into his living room.

We sat in awkward silence for a moment. Well, I felt awkward, he seemed completely at ease as he sat down on the couch next to me, not too close but closer than he needed to be on the big couch, and flicked on the TV. There was a rerun marathon of Friends playing that he seemed completely uninterested then, but I appreciated the background noise.

"So… where's Billy?" I asked curiously.

"He's down at the beach supervising the preparations," he told me, and I couldn't help but wonder how hard it would be to do anything in a wheelchair on a beach covered in snow. "They'll still be getting everything set up now, but we can head down in an hour or so when they're done if you want."

"Sure."

I worried that it would be really difficult to sit here alone with this guy that I didn't really know, but after only ten minutes I started to feel really comfortable in his company. He was really easy to talk to, and I found my usual shyness with tying to talk to someone slowly evaporate. I felt safe and at ease in his company, and found myself easily laughing at his jokes. I grew more comfortable too with the way he watched me, never breaking eye contact with me. It wasn't making me nervous anymore, and I realised that I enjoyed him looking at me like that. I didn't want to look away either. He told me about some of his friends here on the reservation, what it was like to grow up in such a close-knit community, and asked me about my friends here. The later part was a short conversation, as my circle of friends included Angela, hanging out with Leah once, and working with Mike. He wanted to know about my friends back in Seattle, and didn't seem to think I was weird when I told him that I didn't really have any.

"I find that hard to believe," he commented though. I shrugged.

"I've just never really fit in with a crowd before. I'm not a very interesting person."

"Oh, now that I don't believe that in the slightest," he said seriously, a charming smile playing on his lips. I tried not to stare too obviously at his mouth. I realised that he had shifted just the tiniest bit closer to me, I'm not sure when, but I was happy with the realisation that I didn't mind. I wanted to be closer to him , and the unfamiliar thought made me feel nervous again.

I looked over at the clock, realising it was almost ten, and he followed my surprised gaze.

"Damn, I completely forgot about the time. Sorry." He didn't sound sorry at all, but maybe a bit pleased. "Do you want to head down to the beach?"

"Okay." I think I would have been completely comfortable sitting here with him for the rest of the evening, but I wasn't quite ready to admit that to myself yet. I tied on my new warm boots, wrapped a scarf around my neck and put on my jacket. I hated the feeling of my hair being caught under my clothes, and slid an arm behind my neck, pulling it out from under my coat. I caught Jacob watching me with a fascinated expression, just smiling when he realised he had been caught. I had to admit that I found his confidence to be a very attractive trait. He carried the plate of food for me as we walked outside, and I silently noted that once again he just wore on open leather jacket over his shirt.

It was a short walk down to the beach, and I was glad not to be distracted by carrying anything as I walked through the snow on the unfamiliar road. I was able to see a flickering of light beyond the trees, and a buzzing of voices, but I wasn't prepared for the sight that greeted us once we walked onto the frozen sand.

I assumed that the strong winds off of the water prevented the snow from accumulating on the beach, because it was mostly clear yet frozen solid like cement. There looked to be about a hundred people surrounding the fire that looked almost as big as Jacob's house. Some of them were standing, some sitting in lawn chairs, and others sitting down on the ground on top of thick blankets. There was a grouping of tables off to one side that he led me to first. He set down the tray with all of the other food, grabbed us each a Styrofoam cup of hot chocolate, and threw a big grey fire blanket over his broad shoulder. There was a large, convenient stack of them on a bench close to the food.

We said hello to Billy quickly, who was occupied by talking to a group of older adults. There was a very narrow area of a comfort zone around the fire. Standing anywhere closer than four meters away from it was sweltering hot, but moving any further away from it than maybe eight meters the wind off of the beach was piercing. Jacob found an empty space in the habitable zone, and laid out the blanket on the ground before gesturing for me to take a seat. I obligated with a smile, and he gracefully folded down beside me.

"Hey Isabelle!" Leah shouted, dropping down next to me and nudging me with her shoulder. I smiled happily at her comfortable greeting. "Glad you're here, I'd been thinking about calling to invite you, but apparently Jacob beat me to the chase," she said with a knowing grin. My cheeks flushed slightly at her tone.

"He said you'd be here, you're _one_ of the reasons I wanted to come," I told her shyly. I think I might have accentuated the word 'one' a little too strongly, and deliberately didn't look over to Jacob. I tried to change the subject quickly. "I was a bit surprised to find out you guys would be having a bonfire in the middle of winter though."

"Oh this weather doesn't bother us." At that moment, two men dropped down onto our blanket on either side of Jacob. They had the same russet coloured skin as him, both had black hair, and were each at least six feet tall. Man, what were they feeding the kids around here? They all seemed so _big_. "Our blood runs hot here on the Rez." The same boy said again, the one sitting between Jacob and I. Something about his tone made my face burn again.

Jacob grabbed him in something of a bear hug, holding him a little _too_ tightly I guessed from the expression on his face. "Isabelle, this idiot is Embry," he said, before almost throwing him off of the large blanket. He slid a little bit closer to me, just making the space between us small enough that no one could sit there comfortably. "And this is Quil." He gestured to the man beside him, who seemed a little more polite and gave me a very friendly smile. "The friends that I was telling you about earlier." I smiled shyly, offering them both a wave. Seth ran over too when he spotted us.

It was a bit of a tight squeeze, the six of us on the blanket together, but after we settled into some easy conversation it got quite comfortable. They all seemed to have the oddly high body temperature that Jacob did, and I felt like I was in a bubble of warmth. After a little while, I even ended up taking off my coat, and folded in under myself as an extra cushion. Quil had left and come back with arms filled with as much food as he could carry, and we had a fun little picnic. It was very peaceful. Even over the murmur of talking people around the fire, you could still clearly hear the crackle of the flames and the crashing of the waves in the distance. The light from the fire sent a soft flickering light over everyone, and our shadows danced behind us of the beach.

I could tell immediately that they were all extremely close. It was obvious that they all cared about each other, even with their constant bickering, and they reminded me of a big group of siblings. They kept me busy the entire night with their questions, each taking turns. For some reason they all seemed to want to get to know me better. It was a little odd, overwhelming and heart-warming all at the same time. They asked about movies, sport, hobbies, music, food. Quil had asked me about my family before I came here to Forks, but thankfully Jake changed the subject quickly for me. He seemed to just instinctually know what would upset me and what wouldn't, keeping the conversation from ever getting too uncomfortable.

I learned a fair amount about them too. The Reservation had apparently been the home of their tribe, the Quileutes, for hundreds of years. The tribe still had a council, which apparently all of their parents belong to except for Embry who had just grown up as childhood friends with Jacob and Quil. Quil was also Jacob's cousin. It didn't seem like any of them except for Seth were still in high school, though they were apparently the same age as me and Leah was the only one to have graduated. Not wanting to be rude, I didn't pry for details, but put the notes away with the neat pile of curious details about the Quileutes in my mind. Later on in the evening, a slightly older man came over and set up a blanket next to us for his girlfriend and himself. Jacob introduced them as Sam an Emily, more friends of theirs. I had to avert my eyes after saying hello, not wanting to be thought of staring at Emily when the flickering orange light lit up her face. She was very beautiful. Tall with long, thick black hair, hazel eyes and a warm smile, but there were three deep, vicious scars that ran along the right side of her face, slightly distorting her features by pulling down the corner of her eye and her mouth. I did peek again at her and Sam once they had sat down, arms wrapped around each other lovingly. Even just observing them out of the corner of my eye, the love and devotion that Sam had for her was palpable. I felt like I was intruding on something private, so intense, I had to look away. How amazing it must be to have a love so strong like that. Quil Left shortly after they arrived, saying that he had to go check something vaguely and receiving a nod from Jacob that I pretended not to notice. He told me that he was happy to have finally met me and received a smack from Jake. The nick name was catching on. We wished each other a Happy New Year and he disappeared off into the tree line. I was surprised when someone shouted loudly, starting the count down. The hours had just seemed to fly by, and I watched the people surrounding us join in quickly. They said "Two", and I looked over to Jacob. "One", he smiled at me, and my stomach clenched in unexpected fear. "Happy New Year!" His smile never faltered, and he didn't move a millimeter. Everyone around us broke out into hugs, but he remained perfectly still, watching me like I was the only other person in the world, and he wanted nothing more than to be just right here, sitting next to me.

"Happy New Year Jake," I whispered, reminding myself to breathe again. "Happy New Year Bells." I didn't mind him using Charlie's nickname in the slightest.

Thanks for Reading! 


	5. Chapter Five: Powerful

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. Caution: ****Will contain mature themes, language and subject matter.**

**Chapter Five :: Powerful**

"Well, that's it," Renee said happily, tapping the pile of papers out to straighten them "All finished. I can't tell you how happy this makes me." Her eyes had started to water, and I could see that she was being completely honest.

I looked over to Charlie then, who was watching me with a very strong emotion in his eyes that I couldn't quite name. He smiled at me with so much happiness, and I felt my face mirror his. It was official, Charlie Swan had adopted me. I would now be Isabelle Maria Larose-Swan. I couldn't bring myself to completely drop my last name. Not because I wanted my father's name, but it had been my mother's as well, and I couldn't let that piece of her go. Charlie didn't seem offended though, and took us out to a fancy restaurant while we were in the city. Renee reassured me that we would still be in contact, there would be a follow up in another month, but that I could call her anytime.

Despite the paperwork and the addition on my name, I didn't feel very different as we made the long drive home. I was happy, don't get me wrong, but I had been happy with Charlie for what felt like a long time now. I had liked him almost immediately after I met him, and the fact that he had named me his daughter didn't feel real. But as we pulled into our driveway and walked into the house, the feeling shifted away. No, this was real.

I was Home.

The words, and more importantly the deeper meaning behind them, hit me hard in the gut. I dashed into my room quickly, before Charlie could misinterpret my tears. They may have been against my rules, but I didn't get angry with myself this time. These were different, tears of happiness. I hadn't felt at home in nine years, and this one was for real. Charlie wouldn't send me back. I wouldn't have to try and fit into another stranger's home. I wouldn't have to go back to the boarding house and share a room with seven other girls. I wouldn't be alone anymore.

Once my eyes dried, I washed my face with ice cold water and went back to Charlie, who was worried as I had expected. "Sorry Charlie." I hated upsetting him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm great, I'm just really happy Charlie."

He smiled brightly, and I let him pull me into a big hug.

"So, has Jacob asked you out on another date yet?" He had been quite for an hour, watching a game while I sat in my pyjamas reading Spanish.

"It wasn't a date Charlie. We hung out with Leah and a bunch of his friends at a social gathering. That was it." My face felt like lava.

He laughed at my disgruntled tone, making me fold my arms across my chest. "You didn't answer the question Bells."

I shifted slightly in my chair, trying to concentrate on the textbook in my lap while I spoke. "I'm going to see another movie with Leah on Saturday night after work. Jacob might tag along."

"That's pretty late to go see a movie, make sure to bring your pepper spray. Though anyone who would try to mess with Sue's daughter has a death wish. That kid's tuff as nails." I laughed at his accurate observation, I would never want to be on her bad side.

The break had passed quickly, but I didn't mind. After a dizzying amount of studying, and Angela's help, I finally felt that I was caught up with the rest of the class. Her Spanish it turns out was very good, but she was a very dedicated student so that didn't surprise me. I think it's one of the things that made us get along so well. She assured me that the class wasn't taken very seriously, and I was further along than I needed to be. It had been fun having her over on Thursday. I had worried that she would be bored with me here, but she didn't seem bothered at all.

"Hey Isabelle, could you help that man at the counter for me? I need to make a phone call."

I nodded to Mrs. Newton, and ran over to the counter. My right hip collided painfully with the corner, and I bit onto my curse. "Sorry about that. Did you find everything you-"

"Jeeze Bells, you hit that hard. Are you okay?"

My gaze shot up, _way up_, to the face of Jacob Black. He was wearing blue jeans, steel toed working boots that were spattered in oil, a tight black t-shirt and his usual open leather jacket. His short hair was kind of spiked up from the moisture of the falling snow. I noticed that I had taken a little too long to answer him, and spat out some words quickly. "Um, yeah. Okay. What's up?"

His face relaxed into his usual smile. "Leah said that you two were going to see a movie tonight. I thought I'd ask your permission to see if I could come."

"I don't mind." Okay, that was _too_ quickly. Charlie would be laughing his butt off if he could see me right now.

"Cool." He just stood there, smiling.

"Well, I'm picking Leah up at nine thirty, movie's at eleven. I can pick you up on the way?"

"How about I drive? My car's a little faster, and easier on gas." He gave me a knowing look. Yeah, the truck was a guzzler.

"Okay. I guess that's fine."

"Awesome. I'll pick Leah up and be at your house in an hour." He gave me a small awkward wave, then strutted out the front door. I looked at the clock, half an hour to go. I suddenly felt the need to get changed and try to fix my messy hair. It had still been wet when I came to work, and tended to dry in curls if I didn't pay attention to it.

"Oh you can head home if you want sweetie," Mrs. Newton said, catching me observing the clock.

"Oh that's okay, I couldn't-"

"It's completely empty in here Isabelle. Go home; I'll see you on Tuesday." I didn't want to argue twice, especially with that tone.

"Thanks Mrs. Newton, have a nice night!"

I got home in record time, and dashed up to my room to get changed. I must have brushed my hair for like twenty minutes, and the messy curls turned into soft waves. I put on a pair of grey pants, a black t-shirt with a v-neck and faded picture of a pick bar of soap, and decided at the last minute to put on Charlie's necklace. He was right, it did really match my eyes. I only had one winter coat, so it cut down my options for me, and went to sit with Charlie in the living room.

"Aren't you picking Leah up?" He asked me curiously.

"Actually... I'm being picked up instead." I was a little embarrassed to say it was Jacob who would be driving. Just then, a knock on the door. I hadn't even seen the headlights. Charlie beat me to the door, and gave me a knowing look and a teasing smile.

"Well, _hello Jacob_. Nice to see you." That tone was completely unnecessary. I felt like I would die of embarrassment.

"Hey Charlie. How's it going?" He was completely at ease, not seeming to notice.

"Good good. You kids don't stay out too late after the movie. And be careful on the roads." He went back down to his spot on the chair, leaving us be. Leah honked on the horn from the truck.

It was Billy's truck, much newer than my 1953 Chevy pickup, but it also had that long three-seater bench. Jake beat me to my door, holding it open for me very gallantly, and Leah slid over to make room for me.

"Sorry about him," Leah said while rolling her eyes. "He wouldn't let up. I didn't think you'd mind, but I made him go ask permission first," she explained.

"It's okay, I don't mind," I reassured her, keeping my tone neutral.

"How was your week? Do anything interesting?"

"Oh you know, work, homework… And Charlie adopted me on Wednesday. What about you?"

They both looked at me in surprise. "Hey! Jacob, keep your eyes on the road!" I shouted, voice panicked. He apologized, looking away.

"I thought he already adopted you, isn't that why you were staying with him?"

"No, it was a foster program thing," I told her. "This is more... permanent." For some reason, I didn't mind telling this to her. I knew for some reason she wouldn't judge me for that past, it didn't seem in her nature and she just seemed genuinely curious. I remembered that my situation was… uncommon in this area.

"Well I'm really happy to hear that, and glad that you won't be leaving us anytime soon." She gave me an awkward pat on the shoulder, making the corner of my mouth twitch. "What was that like? Before you came here with Charlie?"

"Well, you're kind of all over the place. I was born in Newcastle, just outside of Seattle, so when my father died a year and a half ago, I was moved there, changed schools and had to stay in a temporary boarding house. I was at two different foster homes before here, but they didn't last very long. So I was going back and forth between them and the boarding home, but thankfully they were both in Seattle so I didn't have to change schools. Then I came here," I added happily.

"Wow, that sounds like it really sucks," Leah said, her tone making me laugh a little. "What happened with the other foster guys?" She asked curiously.

"Umm… Sorry, I'd rather not talk about it," I told her quietly, and looked out the window. It was dark, but the white snow banks reflecting the moonlight helped me see the bare trees rushing past.

"That's cool. Sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"Don't worry about it."

"So you're heading back to school on Monday?" And just like that, the uncomfortable moment passed.

Jacob got us to the busy theater in record time. He looked at us questionably while we waited in line. "White Noise? Isn't that a horror film?" He asked, a little surprised.

"Yeah, So?" Leah and I asked at the same time.

"No, it's nothing. Just wasn't expecting it."

"You didn't already know what we were coming to see?" I asked him, I had figured that that was why he had asked to come. Leah spoke before he could answer though.

"I'm sure there's some chick flick playing if you want to go see that instead. We'll be fine on our own."

"No no, this is fine," he said quickly. We waited in line, getting our tickets and a bunch of snacks, and ended up getting pretty good seats for opening night. After we sat down, we chatted while the seats around us filled up quickly.

"Isabelle?" I turned around at the sound of my voice.

"Oh, hey Mike, hey Jess." She gave me the first friendly smile I'd ever seen on her.

"Hi Isabelle! It's so nice to see you outside of school. Who are your friends?" She linked her arm through Mike's possessively.

"Oh, um. Jacob, Leah, this is Mike and Jessica, they go to school with me."

"Oh yeah, Bella mentioned that she worked with you." Jacob turned around to shake his head, and I watched Mike's eyes go wide for a short moment as he took him in. Was he flexing? "Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too. Well, enjoy the movie guys." I nodded, and turned back around in my seat as I took off my jacket.

"Hah, Fight Club. Nice," Jacob said, and I grinned. "So, my Dad asked me to drive him over to Charlie's on Tuesday to watch a game. Will you be there?"

"Oh, I work on Tuesdays. I'm usually home by a quarter after nine though."

"Cool, maybe I'll catch you before we head home."

"Maybe," I conceded, smiling slightly.

"Hey Jake, toss me some of you twizzlers," Leah whispered loudly over my lap when the lights had started to fade.

"Fat chance Leah."

"Come on man, where's your chivalry? Just a couple."

"If I give you some, will you shut up?"

"Sure." The woman in front of her turned around and shushed her. "You got a problem?" Leah asked, her normal tone carrying. The woman shook her head, and slid down in her seat a bit. Jacob shook his head, and handed her a handful of his candy.

I felt Jacob's eyes flicker over to me every once in a while, and wondered absently if he was waiting for me to jump. If so, he was wasting his time; it was rare that movies ever scared me. So when a blurred face popped up onto a static filled TV screen and he hopped out of his seat a little, I couldn't help looking over while I tried to muffle my laugh. He didn't look very comfortable, arms crossed in on himself, trying to keep his arm off the armrest. I remembered how I had flinched away from him on Christmas and felt really guilty.

"You don't look very comfortable," I whispered to him, leaning towards him slightly. He grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah, these seats are kind of small. Would you mind if?..." He made a small awkward arm gesture behind me.

"No, I don't mind." He straightened out in his chair, and easily hung his arm over the back of my chair. My face flushed as I felt the heat from his arm on the back of my hair, and I was glad for the darkness of the theater that protected me.

After a few moments, I relaxed from my rigid state. I decided that I didn't mind this closeness with him, I felt safe in the shadow of his protective form. I was almost tempted to lean over slightly. Three inches, that was all the space that prevented me from leaning into his side. I felt my heart flutter slightly at the thought, and swear that he must have heard it when I felt him look in my direction. _Stop being ridiculous_, I told myself.

Was I being crazy though? Maybe about him having supersonic hearing, but there was something here. I felt like there was some invisible force trying to pull me toward him. Then there was the way he looked at me, sometimes making me feel like I was the only other person in the world. The seemingly unrestrainable smile he always wore when we talked. His incomprehensible fascination with me, and the sense of comfort and safety that I felt exclusively while I was close to him. Was that all in my head too?

The theatre of people all screamed at once, making the three of us burst into laughter. Leah's eyes stayed glued to the screen, but I peeked up at Jacob again. His laugh made a warm feeling spread in my chest. He was looking back down at me, and our eyes locked again. I don't know how I had thought that brown eyes were boring before. His were so deep and warm…

Something changed in his expression, and he moved an inch closer to me. No no no… was he going to kiss me? I was not ready for this, not at all. The only man who had ever kissed me before was… no, I wouldn't think about that. My stomach heaved uncomfortably.

I don't know if he saw the fear in my eyes, but he gave me back that inch of space and a gentle smile before turning back to the screen. After almost a minute, I realised that I had been holding my breath, and let it out gently. I relaxed again shortly after, feeling almost drowsy from the heat that he and Leah radiated.

It was almost one thirty in the morning when the movie let out, and we waved goodbye to Mike and Jess as we walked to the truck. I squeezed in between Leah and Jacob, and she ended up drifting off after about twenty minutes.

"Wow, she must be really tired. I didn't see her as the type to fall asleep in front of others," I whispered to Jake over the music on the radio.

"Yeah, she was working most of the day," he said casually, but something changed in his features, like he had said something wrong. I was suspicious.

"Oh, where does she work?"

"I think she was just helping her Mom work on something, I wasn't really paying attention." Something about that seemed to make him sad. I didn't like seeing that expression on his face. It felt wrong. I said the first thing that popped into my mind to distract him.

"Have you ever noticed that the sun and moon look the same size?"

"What?" He asked, thoroughly distracted. Win.

"The sun and the moon. They appear the same size from earth. It's because that even though the sun is four hundred times bigger than the moon, the moon is four hundred times closer to us. Pretty neat coincidence, huh?"

He laughed, making his body shake with the motion. "Yeah, that _is_ pretty cool." He looked at me with a curious smile from the corner of his eye. "How big is the moon?"

"Three thousand, four hundred and seventy-six kilometers wide. Why do you want to know?"

"I just wanted to know if _you_ knew the answer," he said with another laugh. "How do you know this stuff?"

"Just read it in a book somewhere, I have a pretty good memory," I told him.

"Yeah, I can see that. Well, a good memory is a great gift to have."

"Not always," I said under my breath, quietly so that he wouldn't hear. He pulled up in front of my house. How fast had he driven? He opened his door and got out so that we wouldn't have to wake Leah, and he walked me to my door.

"Thanks Jake. I had a really great time."

"Yeah, me too," he said. He was smiling, but it didn't completely reach his eyes. Was he as un-wanting of this goodbye as I was?

"Um, if you want sometime, maybe we could hang out? Like without Billy, Charlie or Leah." I felt completely embarrassed by my words, I sounded ridiculous. My fears were washed away though when his real smile came back to his face.

"I would really like that."

"Cool. Okay. Well you have Charlie's number." I shifted an inch closer to the door.

"Yeah, I do. Good night Isabelle."

"Good night Jacob." I watched him walk back over to the truck, and ducked inside before he could catch me watching.

That night was the first night that I dreamt of Jacob Black.

When I woke up I was having a hard time making myself open my eyes. I felt so warm and comfortable, just like I had in my dream, and was trying to find and excuse that would permit me to just stay curled up like this until dinner. My left eye fluttered open by the tiniest sliver, and I peeked at my watch. It was three o clock.

Shit, I had slept almost twelve hours, what was wrong with me? I groaned, rolled out of my bed onto the cold floor, and forced myself to put on some clothes. After brushing my teeth and splashing some cold water on my face, I dragged my feet down the stairs.

"_She's alive_," Charlie announced with a bad Dr. Frankenstein impersonation. I just shook my head and plopped down on the couch. "How was your night?"

I couldn't help a bit of a dazed smile. Jacob's laugh, his arm around the back of my chair, his smile when I asked if we could hang out together floated through my mind. "It was great."

He laughed about something, but didn't say anything. We had a quiet afternoon, just sitting and watching TV while I remained almost half asleep. I took twenty minutes to make us some easy spaghetti for dinner, but Charlie seemed just as happy as if I had cooked him a three course steak dinner; he was easy to please. It felt almost oddly rewarding; just doing nothing at all for the entire day, and trying not to over think the fact that tomorrow I would be starting my last semester of high school.

Nothing really seemed to change at school. We still had the same classes, with the same teachers, at the same times, but something felt different about it. I felt like I had more energy. I found myself smiling for no reason quite often, not even worrying about if people would think I looked weird. I felt the urge to participate more in class, surprising not only the other kids but my teacher's as well.

Even Jessica Stanley seemed more warmed to me today, sitting on my other side that Mike usually reserved at our lunch table. I wasn't overly thrilled, something about her just game me an uncomfortable vibe.

"So, who was that guy with you at the movie? Your boyfriend?"

I worked hard to keep my face and voice blank and neutral. "No, just a friend."

"Well, he didn't _look_ like just a friend, not with how close you were sitting. You should have seen him Angela; the guy was _huge_, like a pro wrestler or something. Right Mike? So, is he from the reservation?" For some reason, I felt like if I spoke to her, it would have the same effect as using a mega phone. She was definitely the type to go off singing my words like a bird to whoever would stop and listen. I knew her type, and I didn't want that at all. Instead of shying away though, I gave her a deep, calculating look. What did she get out of the way she acted; did she actually enjoy her life like this?

After a minute, realising that I wasn't going to answer her, she seemed to fidget uncomfortably before turning back to talk to Mike. I took a small feeling of victory with that uncomfortable look, and enjoyed my meal while chatting to Angela.

"That was impressive," she whispered as we walked to Spanish class. Even if we didn't sit with each other, we were in most of each other's classes. There were only two classes worth of senior students at this school. "I've never seen her falter like that before, it was hard not to laugh."

I gave her a small smile. "Yeah. Something about girls like that just really bother me. I wanted her to know that I wouldn't play a part in her gossip."

She nodded slightly. "If you can look past that though, she can be really nice. She's energetic, and can be friendly if she wants too." I grinned slightly at Angela's attempt to up-talk her. I don't think she was capable of actually not liking someone, and her kindness was inspiring. "You seem different today though. Happier. I like it," she said almost teasingly. I shrugged shyly and slid into my desk.

It was nice knowing that I was doing the same work as everybody else in my class now, and I made it through the day with barely any homework. Even the next day, I was able to finish my last few Calculus problems before work.

I came home Tuesday night to find three men shouting at a baseball game on the TV. Billy was sitting in an arm chair like Charlie, and Jacob was comfortably sprawled out on the couch. I remembered that this was probably very routine for him, and that before I came along they apparently did this all the time.

He straightened up a bit when I walked into the room, but left his arm hung across the back of the couch. As casually as I could, I walked over and sat down next to him on the small couch. "Hey Bells, how was work?" Charlie asked without looking away from the TV.

"It was good, nothing out of the ordinary," I replied. Jacob seemed to forget about the game completely as he asked how school had been, and asked for more details about work. He wanted to know about my classes and teachers, and what I did at my job. The game ended way too quickly as we talked and laughed quietly, and I wasn't ready for him to leave. He brightened my mood though as he asked if I wanted to hang out with him tomorrow. I said yes of course, saying that I could head over after dinner.

He froze when Charlie opened the door, regarding me with a strange look in his eyes. I was standing very close to him, but he gave me time to decide if I wanted to back up as he cautiously leaned towards me. My instinct to run fought strongly against the magnetic pull he had on me, and I didn't move as he gently wrapped his arms around me and gave me a soft hug. The direct contact against his chest did something alarming to my heart, and he pulled away slowly, offered me one of his melting smiles, and waved as he said that he would see me tomorrow.

Charlie closed the door, and I looked up to him giving me a pointed look, a small grin tugging at one corner of his mouth. My face flamed, and I dashed up to my room without saying a word.

Billy was home when I arrived at their house, but just waved absently as Jacob led me out to his home-made garage. It looked like he had taken four, mismatched plastic sheds and fused them together, but it was cozy. Even in the winter, without a space heater, he seemed to just warm up the confined space with his body heat alone. His warmth, bright smile and gravitational force that seemed to pull me towards him reminded me oddly of the sun. My own personal sun that was conveniently placed here in my new, small home.

He showed me what he was working on, replacing the break lines on his friend Sam's small car, and I found myself completely engrossed in his obviously favourite hobby. I had never developed much familiarity with tools, for obvious reasons, but he seemed more than willing to take the time and explain what he was doing in detail. I absorbed the new information hungrily, and was happy to try when he asked me if I wanted to remove some of the bolts.

My watch alarm beeped at nine, warning me of the time. He walked me to my car, my nails now caked with black dirt, and gave me another gentle hug as he said goodbye. This time, I slowly wrapped my arms around him, barely able to wrap all the way around his large torso, and have him a gentle hug in return.

I quickly became comfortable with my new life in Forks. I was enjoying school now, breaking through my shy and quiet shell a little more each day. I didn't even mind the almost painfully slow pace that was our learning schedule. I got very comfortable at work, enjoying Mike's company more and even more so the company of his parents. He was now officially dating Jessica again, and it provided a comfortable buffer. I would hang out with Angela and Leah each almost every week. I cooked dinner for Charlie every night that I could, and he seemed elated in my growing happiness.

The most prominent part of it all though was Jacob. We hung out almost every other day. We rotated in between hanging out in his garage, watching TV with Billy, hanging out on the beach with his friends. He would come over sometimes and just sit with me quietly while I did homework, or Billy and him would come over for dinner and catch a game on TV. I grew ever more comfortable with his warm embraces that grew in strength, almost craving them, and every once in a while we would steal secret moments of holding his hands. Seeing and feeling his large hand wrap around my small one always did exciting things to my heart rate. I couldn't help wondering what he got out of this innocent arrangement, but he never asked or hinted that he wanted anything more.

Charlie didn't seem to mind our relationship, if anything it looked like he approved of it. He never minded when he came home to Jacob sitting in the kitchen while I cooked, but he liked to tease me about it after he would leave.

My life felt more like a dream these days. It was a dream that I had shied away from for years, but for some reason it had now become my reality. I was grateful for every moment of it in every day.

"Thanks again Jake, you really didn't need to come with me today," I said quietly while we were driving down the highway. He didn't even ask where we were going, sensing my conflicting emotions like only he could. His arm was in its usual space, lying across the back of the bench seat of my truck. Every once in a while I could feel his fingers lightly touch my hair, as softly as if he were trying to caress a soap bubble without popping it.

"I don't mind. Besides, I agree with Charlie. You shouldn't be out in a big town by yourself so late at night. He really didn't mind you staying out this late on a school night?" He asked in a teasing voice.

I chuckled softly. "No, he knows I would never fall behind in my studies."

"Yeah, that would just be downright impossible," he said dramatically. We sat quietly as we passed through Seattle, his eyes constantly shifting between watching me and trying to take in the passing landscape.

Around seven thirty we passed into Newcastle, and he raised an eye brow, curious for the first time since we had left. "This is where you were born, right?" I nodded quietly, and he seemed to concentrate harder on his surroundings. None of it mattered to me. I may have only been gone from here for less than two years, but it hadn't been my home since I was eight. There was only one place of meaning to me in this town, and it was there that I drove.

Jacob remained politely quite as I parked my truck on the side of the road. He held my hand as we walked through the slowly warming air, and helped me hop over the gate without question. His large hands on my waist as he easily lifted my over the three foot wall would have set my heart rate racing on any other day. He stayed close to my side as I led him to the back corner of the cemetery.

I pulled out a small quartz stone from my pocket that I had found on the beach a few days ago with Leah. It was white and lavender, with small flecks of pyrite, and I had thought it was very beautiful. Shortly after my Mom had passed, I had turned to books to try any find comfort in dealing with death. In one book about Jewish funeral rituals, I had read something about how in older days, they wouldn't bury their loved ones in caskets, but would wrap their bodies in shrouds, placing them in the ground, and covering them in dirt. Then they would place large stones over the grave to prevent animals from harming the remains. Over time, visitors would go back to the grave site, placing more stones on it to ensure the security of the site and as a way to build up the memory of their lost one. Even as time passed by, and the traditions altered, the custom still remained. I took comfort in the idea that I would be 'building up' my mother's memory instead of letting it fade away with time. It was my own small way of letting her know that I remembered her. I knelt down, and placed the small, pretty stone in the line of others that wrapped around her headstone.

"Hey Mom. I wanted to introduce you to my friend Jacob," I said quietly, then stood up slowly. "Jake, this is my Mom."

I wasn't sure what to expect from him. Would he think I was crazy, coming here and talking to the cool night air? But he surprised me as always when he took my hand again, smiling. "It's really nice to finally meet you Mrs. Larose. You have an amazing daughter," he said softly. I leaned into him a little bit, and his arm wrapped around my shoulder.

"It's been nine years today," I explained to him in barely more than a whisper. "But I still miss her as much as I did if it had only been days."

He knew that I wasn't the type to go looking for pity or sympathy. We were very similar in that aspect, and I was comforted when he just nodded his head. "I know," he told me, the understanding in his voice very real. He didn't rush me, and stood patiently with me as I stayed trapped in my mind.

"I think I'm ready to go," I said after maybe fifteen minutes. "Could you just give me a minute first?"

"Of course," he told me, and walked over to the wall of the cemetery, close to the truck while he waited for me. I knelt down to the ground, the thin layer of snow soaking into the knees of my jeans.

"Things are better now Mom. It's been weeks since I've had nightmares about Dad or George, or even the accident. And I think it's because of Charlie and Jacob. They're taking really good care of me, but I miss you so much." I couldn't cry, and that feeling made me hurt even more. I just didn't have any tears left for this, no matter how much I missed her. "But I'm trying now, I really am. I know that's what you would have wanted. Sometimes I feel like you guided me to them. Thank you Mom." I listened to the silent night for a few more seconds, then turned and walked back to Jacob. He lifted me over the gate again easily, and offered to drive home.

"You're the first person I've ever brought here," I admitted to him quietly after a few minutes. "I'm sorry if that was really… weird."

His hand stretched out and took mine in his once more. "Don't apologize Isabelle. I'm very happy that you let me come with you. _Thank you_." I gave him a small nod, the deep look in his eyes stealing my words from my mind. "Is there anywhere else you'd like to visit while you're here?"

"No. Let's go home."

We pulled up into his drive way at half passed eleven, and he hopped out of the door, letting me slide into my driver's seat. I was waiting for his usual hug, but saw an uncharacteristic flash of nervousness in his face. We had been really quiet on the drive home, had I made him uncomfortable? Maybe we was more weirded out by our trip than he had led on before.

"Isabelle, I was wondering if we could hang out tomorrow after you're done work? Just the two of us."

It wasn't an unusual request, but the fact that tomorrow was Valentine's day didn't slip my mind. Relieved that I hadn't scared him off, I gave him a shy smile. "Okay."

He pulled me into a tight hug, wishing me goodnight and telling me that he would be waiting for me at Charlie's when I got home from work. I tried to hide my enormous smile as he watched me drive away.

I woke up early in the morning to say goodbye to Charlie, and letting him know that I had plans after work tonight. I couldn't get back to sleep after that, so I took my time in the shower, and spent more time than necessary blow drying and combing my hair. I wouldn't have time to come home and get changed before I went to work; I had told Ben that I would help him with a Biology project, so I picked out my outfit carefully. Nice black dress pants that weren't too fancy, and my favourite dark violet shirt. It was made of this thin, billowy material, that was a little cinched together just below my chest. Simple yet elegant. It didn't have any sleeves though, so I wore a thin white sweater open on top of it, and put on Charlie's necklace.

I went and stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. I didn't even own any makeup. I had tried it a few times, but it always irritated my skin, and I always felt ridiculous wearing it, like I was asking for attention. I thought I looked okay, but I felt weird. Not necessarily in a bad way, but I had always just been more comfortable in jeans and a hoodie. I didn't look too over dressed, and when I thought of Jacob, I knew he wouldn't even mind if I showed up in a pair of sweatpants.

I had a big bowl of cereal, made a sandwich for lunch, and grabbed a few pieces of fruit and some granola bars to hold me over for the day. After packing my bag, and cleaning out and repacking my purse, I decided to just go to school a little early.

It was looking to be a gorgeous day, tiny little cotton ball clouds dotted the sky, but aside from them it was a clear blue. When I parked in the empty parking lot, I relaxed against the hood of my truck while enjoying the rare feeling of bright sunlight on my face. There were birds singing in the near forest, the ground was dry, and it was finally starting to feel warm out again. I would be glad if these were the signs of an early spring. Eventually the parking lot started to fill in, and I begrudgingly went inside to my Calculus class.

The day went by excruciatingly slowly.

I felt like my teachers were talking in slow motion at some points, and spent most of my class time staring out the windows at the beautiful weather outside. I could see that I wasn't the only one by far, and it seemed to be irritating our teachers. Most of them gave up and just assigned homework, which I quickly got out of the way. During lunch and after school, I claimed a wooden picnic table outside in the sun with Angela and Ben while we worked. I stayed with them as long as I could, but I had to leave for work.

I was with Mr. and Mrs. Newton that night, who seemed to be having some sort of date night at work. Mike was out with Jess, and I tried to give the Newton's as much privacy as possible while I stocked and organised shelves, and cleaned floors. I didn't even try to protest when they sent me home an hour early, apparently sporting good stores weren't a popular date location.

I felt bad for pushing my poor truck so hard while I drove home quickly; Jacob's bad habit was rubbing off on me. So I was surprised when I got home at eight, and Jacob's Rabbit was already parked outside our house. I combed my fingers quickly through my hair, and got out of my truck.

"Hey guys," I said suspiciously as I took them in sitting across from each other in Charlie's two arm chairs.

"Hey Bells, you're home early," Charlie said, face completely composed as he was watching the television. I knew immediately that he was trying to hide something.

"Yeah, work was slow so the Newtons sent me home. I thought I might beat you here Jake."

"Yeah, sorry. I just needed to talk to Charlie about something. You ready to go?" If he was trying this hard not to say something, he obviously didn't want to talk about it so I dropped it.

"Yeah, sure. I'm just going to put my bag in my room first." I ran upstairs, dropping my bag quickly before putting on some more deodorant, and brushing my teeth again.

"You kids have fun," Charlie called, still pointedly not looking in my direction. I shook my head, and followed Jacob out to his car.

I was a little surprised when he passed his house and drove right up to the small gravel parking lot by the beach. I slid out of the car, and waited for him while he grabbed something out of his trunk. He came around with a thick blanket and a wicker basket. "I thought maybe we could have a little picnic," he said shyly.

I was having trouble finding my voice, no I just nodded with a smile. He led me down the wooden walkway down the rocky slope, and we walked for maybe fifteen minutes until he decided on a spot on the beach. The sand bank was narrower here, and he laid out the thick blanket close to the tree line. I sat down next to him, and he pulled a small battery-operated lantern out of the basket. After flicking it on, he pulled out a plate of sandwiches, a container of red grapes, and a couple bottles of water, handing me one.

"This is really nice Jake, thank you," I told him thickly, my voice barely a whisper. He managed to hear me though, even over the crashing sounds of the waves, when he smiled and shifted just a little bit closer to me.

It was very romantic, the sky had stayed clear, and with little light pollution on the reservation the stars looked amazing. There was no moon in the sky, but the un-obtrusive, dim light of the lantern provided the perfect amount of light. After sliding a little closer to Jacob, the cool night air didn't bother me so much. We were only inches away from each other, his hand on top of mine between us.

His questions were different tonight. He wanted to know what I wanted to do later in my life. If I would be going away to college in the fall, what I wanted to do as a career, where I saw myself living in the future. I knew that he wanted to stay in his home, his dream was to open his own garage, and I didn't think anything was wrong with that.

"I was thinking of trying to go to school close by, and maybe becoming a teacher. Before I came here, I didn't really have any motives pulling me in a certain direction. But here… Forks has become my home. Charlie is my family, and I don't think I want to go too far." I couldn't say it out loud, but I tried to tell him with my eyes. _I don't want to leave you._

Jacob had become my motivation to being happy, which seemed so much more than just _living_ now. Somehow, this man had gotten inside my heart, my soul, and completely changed the way I was in so many different ways. I didn't ever want to leave his side.

_Very slowly_, Jacob sat up a little straighter, facing me directly. I sat completely still as his hands lifted up to my head, and held my face in between his large, warm palms _so_ gently. He stared deeply into my eyes for a long minute, letting me decide if I wanted to move away. My heart was racing rapidly, but I didn't move. I closed my eyes as he leaned into me slowly, softly placing his lips against mine.

The world seemed to shift beneath me, as a warm, glowing feeling spread throughout my body. The feeling seemed to melt through every cell in my body, tying me to the man in front of me.

Time had stood still, that kiss could have lasted minutes or hours, seconds or days. It could have been years, and still wouldn't have been long enough. My eyes fluttered open when he pulled away, taking in his beautiful face still only inches away from mine.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," he whispered, a proud fervor in his voice that made me dizzy. "Was that okay?"

I knew he was asking about more than his kissing abilities. I put my hands on top of his, which were still holding my face, and nodded happily.

"Will you be my girlfriend Isabelle? If you say yes, I swear that there will be nothing in this universe that will be able to break me away from you."

I believed his every word. "Of course I will Jacob."

His breath-taking smile stopped my heart, and he leaned forward and kissed me again.

"It's really not a big deal Bells. It's just a bonfire, you can wear whatever," Jacob said. He was leaning against my door frame while I dug through my dresser drawers looking for a shirt. "Well, maybe something warm would be better." He amended. He had never seen my room before, and this was in direct violation of Charlie's rules.

He had been in on the whole plan, because Jacob has asked his permission before asking me to be his girlfriend. He had waited up for me to come home Tuesday night, and laid down some ground rules. No hanging out in my bedroom, no sleep overs, and no lies. I agreed with them happily, just pleased that he didn't seem to mind.

He had gotten called in to work tonight though, so Jacob was dancing on the threshold of my bedroom while I got ready. He had invited me to a Sunday bonfire on the reservation. I accepted his advice, and went over to the bathroom and changed into a warm flannel shirt. As I was putting my hair up in a ponytail, the permanent new accessory that I wore on my wrist caught my eye, making me smile. Before Jacob had dropped me off that night, the night he had asked me to be his girlfriend, he had pulled the small woven bracelet out of his front coat pocket, saying that it was a valentine's present. It was hand-woven, made with the same colours as his russet skin and brown eyes, mixed with a pale cream color and jade green. Us. I accepted it gratefully, and was the one to hug him tightly before I left his car.

When I came back, he was more inside of my room, inspecting my few meager belongings. "So, you're a bit of a minimalist I see," he pointed out curiously. I just shrugged.

"Never been much of a packrat. Makes life easier when you move around a lot."

"Well, you're not moving any more. I think I'm going to buy you a poster or something," he said absently, making me laugh.

**Thanks for Reading!  
**


	6. Chapter Six: Secrets

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. Caution: ****Will contain mature language and subject matter.**

**Chapter Six :: Secrets**

We parked at his house, and he grabbed the same blanket out of the trunk that we had sat on Tuesday night. I told him I wanted to take it slow, this was still difficult for me, and he was very chivalrous about it. We hadn't kissed since then, but I could still feel his lips on mine when I thought about it.

The fire was much smaller than the last time, as Jacob had promised, and there was a ring of people sitting around it on blankets and lawn chairs. They were chatting happily amongst themselves, passing around bags of hot dogs, marshmallows, sticks and bags of chips. Jacob laid out the blanket in the one opening in the circle, and gestured for me to sit down. Once next to me, he comfortably threw and arm around my shoulder, holding me gently to his side.

I recognised most of the faces, and Jacob introduced the ones that I didn't. We were sitting next to Billy, who seemed to be the orientated head of the circle. On his other side sat Harry, Sue, Leah and Seth. I was introduced to Old Quil, Quil's grandfather. Quil was by his side, joined by Embry, Sam, Emily, and another man named Paul.

"So do you all get together and do this often?" I asked Jacob quietly after we said hello to everyone.

"Yeah, every couple of weeks or so. See, we're all the immediate descendants of the tribe leaders, a sort of council. We like to all get together every once in a while, and whenever someone new comes into our group Billy tells the legends." I felt like I was intruding on something very private, making myself uneasy, but it was hard feeling uncomfortable while tucked into Jacob's side. "Would you like to hear them?"

Entranced by the deep, intriguing tone his voice had taken on, I just nodded. Simultaneously, like they had all been waiting for my reply, everyone seemed to quiet down, and Billy started to speak.

I was completely enthralled by Billy's tale. He spoke of blood magic, spirit fighters and battles with forces too great to be fought by human means. The fight between the last descendants of the spirit warriors, a clash between a want for peace and greed for power.

As Billy spoke in his deep, powerful voice, I noted again that it had that mysterious, almost magical air to it. It breathed life into his story, and as I watched the faces of the people surrounding me while Billy told us that the spirit warriors bonded with the wolves, taking their forms to protect their tribe from monsters and Cold Ones, I could believe that they were the descendants of these magical beings.

Their last enemies were the cold beings, red-eyed and made of stone, who fed off of the blood of humans and always traveled either alone or in pairs. Only when they grew near would their magic awaken. The descended protectors would transform into the wolf spirit warriors of legend, and destroy the monsters.

I had known that there was a secret in this tribe. The odd moments when Jacob or Leah would get caught in a lie, the vague answers about their lives and the feeling that they were hiding something from me. Their odd body heat, above normal growth, appetite and Jacob's intense strength. Those pieces all still floated in my mind, wanting answers. So when Billy said that his grandfather Ephraim Black had come across an unusual sized group of the monsters, ones with yellow eyes that didn't eat humans, I didn't believe that he was lying.

Shortly after he was finished, the others broke out into their quiet conversations again. I was trapped in my own mind, trying to convince myself that I was being crazy. Jacob shifted beside me, and I realized that I had been quiet for a long time. I looked up at him, and as he searched my eyes for something, I knew I wasn't crazy. He asked me if I wanted to go home, and I nodded. It wasn't that I wanted to leave, I just wanted to talk to him alone.

* * *

I had trouble choosing words as he drove me home quietly. His tension was almost tangible in the air, adding more substance to my belief.

"So, those stories were pretty crazy right? I hope they didn't scare you."

"Hah, you're the one that jumps during ghost movies, not me Jake." He laughed, seeming to relax a little. I took a deep breath, and looked him directly in the eyes. "_Are_ they stories Jacob?" I asked evenly.

He didn't look away. "What do you mean?"

"They're real."

It wasn't a question, but he answered anyways. "Yes, they are."

He wasn't hiding from me, and I could tell from his face that he was done keeping secrets. I knew he would answer anything I asked, so I didn't hold back. "How much of it is true?"

"All of it, as far as I know." He turned off the key in the ignition.

"So, you can all transform into wolves?"

"Not all of us, but some of us. And we're a little different than regular wolves." There was more there, but I decided to get back to it later.

"And you do this to fight these Cold Ones. Vampires?" He seemed surprised with how much I had caught on. "Blood drinking dead people, I connected the dots."

"Yeah, that's about the gist of it."

"But if you only transform when they're around, does that mean that there are some here? Now?"

"No no," he reassured me. "Not anymore, but there were. The same ones that my great grandfather had met. We made a treaty with them, and left them alone as long as they kept to their promise of not harming humans and stayed off of our land."

I nodded, taking a moment to absorb the new information. Shape shifters and vampires, interesting. Jacob's face seemed pained, worried, and I was automatically concerned.

"Are you okay Jacob?"

He was very serious. "Isabelle, I just told you that I can turn into a wolf. Are _you_ okay?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm fine Jacob. I knew that you've been hiding something from me for a while. It's nice to know what all the secrecy was about."

"I'm sorry Isabelle, I didn't want to-" I quieted him with hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay Jake, I understand why." I tried to relax the dent in between his eye brows with a finger. "But you didn't answer my question. Are you okay?" He was keeping an unusual distance between us.

"I'm just afraid of scaring you away. I don't want to lose you." His voice was thick with emotion, and it pulled at my heart. I leaned forward, on my knees in my seat to better reach him, and put both of my hands on his wide shoulders.

"Jacob, I know you would never hurt me. I'm not scared of you." I could see that he didn't quite believe me, and I couldn't stop myself from leaning in further over the center console and kissing him.

That warm, glowing feeling spread into me again, but I hadn't been as gentle as Jacob had. The warmth turned into a burning, and I didn't want to pull away yet. I wanted him to know that I wasn't lying, I wasn't afraid of him, and I wouldn't leave him. I felt something change in him. His hot hands wrapped around my waist, lifting me over the center console and pulling me onto his lap easily. His arms were tight around me and his lips became more urgent. I couldn't breathe, and he didn't seem to even feel my hands trying to push him away. I ripped my head to the side, breaking the heated kiss.

"Jake, please. Stop." I said, trying to catch my breath. His hands released me immediately, and they floated in the air while he sat there, completely shocked with what he had done.

"God, Isabelle, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that, I don't know what came over me. You know I would never-"

"Jake, it's okay. I'm okay. It was just a little… too fast for me."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I don't want to pressure you into anything, please believe that." His arms relaxed, and I was still pretty much sitting on his lap. It wasn't hard to put a reassuring hand on his arm.

"I do."

Charlie flickered the front porch light, signalling his impatience. Jacob opened his door, half-carrying me as he set me on the ground outside.

"I still have more questions for you," I told him seriously. "Can I come see you tomorrow?"

"Of course." I waved good bye, and ran up the drive as I saw Charlie disappear from behind the curtain.

* * *

Charlie drove over with me, deciding to hang out with Billy the same night. I was somewhere else completely while we drove, my mind trying to convince itself that yesterday had all been a dream. My imagination wouldn't have been able to so strongly sear the memory of Jacob's hot hands tightly gripping my waist though. The way he held me and the fierceness of his lips. It had been terrifying , but it had also been thrilling; seeing his almost desperate hunger for me in the uninhibited actions of his body. I still didn't fell ready for that level of intimacy and passion, but there was a part of me that craved more…

"Earth to Bells? You okay kiddo?" My head snapped up, realizing that we were parked in Billy's driveway, engine already off. He was watching me with a concerned expression. "If you're not feeling well we can go back."

"No, that's okay. I'm fine, really." I opened up my door, and he dashed over to my side to keep up as I walked to their front door.

"Hey Billy," Charlie called as we walked inside. Billy was close by in the kitchen, and rolled around the corner at the sound of his voice.

"Hey guys. TV's on. Jacob had to go check something Isabelle," Billy said in _that_ tone. "He should be back soon though." I was in on this secret now that Charlie probably had no idea about, and I made sure not to let my face betray anything. A jolt of nervous excitement and anticipation shot through me, and I decided to trust my gut.

"Okay. I'm just going to sit outside for a bit while I wait. It's kind of hot in here."

Charlie didn't think anything of it, but Billy shot me a curious look. He gave me a slight nod, deciding not to stop me. I went back outside, clutching my coat closer to myself to fight the sharp chill, and walked around to the back of Jacob's shed. I was completely blocked out of view from the house, the drive way and the street as I leaned against the shed and waited.

I stood there for maybe ten minutes, concentrating on the still quietness that surrounded me. The only sounds where the periodic swish of the wind blowing through the trees. Then, very faintly, I heard a dry twig snap in the woods. My head snapped in the direction of the sound, but it was too dark to see anything. I had a knowing feeling though; the almost gravitational pull that grew stronger between us everyday was there.

"Jacob, is that you?" I whispered. Nothing. "Please, you don't need to hide. I won't run away, I swear." After a minute, I was starting to worry that I was being crazy, talking to a squirrel or something that wasn't even there anymore. But seconds before I was about to turn around and go inside, I saw him, and I stood frozen in awe.

I saw immediately what he meant when he told me that he was "a little different than a regular wolf." He stood over eight feet high, closer to the size of a large horse than the wolves I had seen at the zoo when I was a child. He was heavily muscled and his paws were bigger than dinner plates. His fur was the same russet color of his skin, with hints of red and darker brown, and even from this distance, I could see that his eyes were still the same warm, dark brown. He had stopped just past the line of the trees, almost five meters away from me and watching me carefully.

"Jake?" I knew it was him, but I had to be sure. He gave one slow nod of his head. He took one large, hesitant step forward, unsure. I had no control of my legs as they pulled me forward. I could see fear in his eyes, but I had none, and was grateful that he didn't run away. I felt like he was thinking of it. I stopped when I was only two feet away, looking up at his tall frame. Hesitantly I raised my arm halfway to his face.

"May I?" I asked politely, and he slowly lowered his head to meet my hand.

I ran my fingers through the think fur on his neck, marveling at the feel. It was so silky, and he was just as warm as my usual Jacob. He made a soft grumbling noise deep in his throat that reminded me of a purr. I smiled, but it was a couple of minutes before I could speak.

"It's so soft," I told him curiously. He gave me a goofy grin, his tongue slightly lolling out of his mouth, making me laugh.

"You know, I've always wanted a dog," I told him whimsically. He answered by licking the side of my face, from jaw to temple, with his giant, wet tongue. "Eww! Jake, gross," I mumbled, swinging my arm to smack him playfully. He easily danced out of my reach, giving me a happy bark, and dashed back into the trees.

I waited patiently as he came back out a minute later, wearing a pair of jeans and pulling a black t-shirt over his head. The partial view of his sculpted stomach did something funny to my breathing. He walked over to me, a curious smile on his face.

"Wow Bells, you're pretty good with weird," he told me, reaching out for my hand.

"Thank you, for showing me. I think it makes it a little easier to wrap my mind around, seeing with my own eyes."

"I'm just glad you didn't run away." He leaned down, and gave me a gentle peck on the lips. After he pulled away, he could see the burning curiosity in my eyes. "Shall we go sit in my garage?" I nodded, and he led me over by the hand.

* * *

"So, when did it happen?" We were sitting on the floor on some old chair cushions, our knees touching each other as we faced each other cross-legged. Our hands were holding each other's and resting on our legs between us.

"About a year ago, not long after my sixteenth birthday. I had been out late with Embry and Quil, and when I got home, my Dad was pissed. I just got really angry all of a sudden and kind of… exploded."

The way he described it was alarming. But I was glad that he seemed comfortable telling me about it, giving me details. "Did it hurt?" I asked, worried.

"No, not at all. Your body just goes kind of fuzzy and numb… then all of your clothes are ripped to shreds and you're covered in fur." He offered me an easy smile, and I laughed.

"And the others?"

"It happened to Sam first, he's a few years older than me. He was all alone when it happened, had no idea what was going on. It took him days to be able to calm down enough to shift back, and when Harry felt how hot he was, he figured out what had happened. It happened to me next, so I was really lucky to have Sam there in my mind to help me out."

"What do you mean by "In your mind?""

"Oh, well… when we're in our wolf form, it's like all of our minds are connected. We can hear each and every thought of everyone else that's phased at the same time. It sucks sometimes, there's no privacy while you're like that, but it comes in handy if you're trying to coordinate during a fight."

"Wow. That can't be easy, trying to work and make decisions with different people in your head."

"It's not too bad. That's why the packs always have an alpha, a leader, to make the important decisions. Technically, the Alpha is also the Chief of the tribe."

"So, is Billy the Alpha?" He was obviously a leader of the tribe.

"No, Billy never phased, even though I think he wishes he did. He is the Chief of our tribe though."

"Who's the Alpha then?" I asked curiously. He fidgeted slightly under my gaze, and I worried that I might have been being rude.

"I'm the Alpha of the pack." He said it quietly, but there was obvious power and pride in his tone. I didn't find it surprising, I could easily see him as a leader. "Sam was stronger than me when I phased. But I grew even more quickly than he did, and he asked me to take the position. It's in my blood. My father is the chief of our tribe, and the son of the chief before him. My great grandfather was the alpha of the last pack."

"Wow. Chief Jacob," I whispered to myself, testing the words out loud. It made him laugh.

"So, Sam is still my second in command, though I treat all of my pack as equals. I hate using that power over them unless I absolutely have to."

I nodded in understanding, Jacob wasn't the controlling type. "The others?" I asked, wanting him to continue.

"This is the biggest pack that there has been since the beginning; there are seven of us in total. Paul phased after me, them Embry and Quil. Seth and Leah joined last, just a couple months before you arrived. Harry had a bad heart attack, and we didn't think he was going to make it. It triggered Leah, then later the same night Seth phased too."

"But Harry was okay after?" I had seen him with my own eyes the other day, but I hadn't really taken in his appearance closely.

"Yeah, well I told you how there had been a coven of vampires here before?"

"Yeah, the ones with the yellow eyes, right?"

"Right. Well, two of them are actually Doctors. He had just been close by coincidentally, Harry was out fishing with Charlie. I guess he heard it just before it happened, and was there to help him. If it wasn't for him, I don't think he would have survived." I could hear the conflict of emotions in his voice; his hatred for his enemies warring with the fact that they saved someone he cared about.

"The vampires were Doctor's? But don't they…"

"Yeah, scary right? These ones were different though, they fed on animals instead of humans, and they said that was why their eyes were that weird yellow color. It was the only thing that kept us from destroying them, but they still aren't allowed on our land."

It was so strange, and so interesting. I was living in the middle of a fairy tale. I realized I had missed a very important question; it didn't really matter how I felt about this. "Do you like it Jacob? Are you happy?"

He smiled warmly. "It was scary at first, and I was really angry. But it got better when I was able to talk to my friends. This is still a secret, even on the reservation."

"I swear, I would never tell a soul Jacob," I told him fiercely.

"I know you wouldn't Isabelle, I trust you completely." My face warmed, and he squeezed my hand. "After Embry and Quil were with me, it became much more enjoyable. There really are a lot of cool perks."

"Like what?"

"Well, we grow really fast."

"Yeah, I noticed that. I thought at first that the government might have been putting steroids in the water here."

He laughed loudly. "Yeah, I guess it might look pretty odd. But we're also really strong. We have stronger hearing and better vision than humans, and it's even stronger when we're in our wolf forms. And then there's the speed. It's amazing Bells, there's no feeling more liberating than running like that, flying through the forest like a bullet, feeling the dirt and leaves crumble under your paws."

"It sounds amazing," I breathed. "Do you think that's something I could see sometime?"

"Sure, I'd love to take you for a ride." His face flushed red, a very beautiful sight on his dark skin. "I mean, for a run. Not-"

I laughed so hard that it hurt my chest. "Yeah Jake, I know what you meant." He relaxed, but still had a faint glow in his face.

"We also... don't age."

That got my attention. "Seriously?" He nodded. "But you've all... grown so quickly. I mean, I'm only like three months older than you... and you kind of look like you're in you mid twenties." It didn't make any sense to me.

"Well... There's something like a time line with it. When the vamps get near, you start growing until your body is mature enough to do the change. Then you grow really quickly until you're as strong as you can be, really. Then you stop. That's why I look so old, but I stopped growing a few months ago. That's what we think really, we've talked about it a lot. We don't really have any scientists to go to to figure out all the specifics."

"Wow." It was a lot to take in, but it made sense. Well, as much as this all could make sense, anyways. "So... you're going to stay this was for ever?"

"Oh no, once we stop phasing for long enough we're suppose to start aging again. I kinda enjoy it though... so I'm not really in a rush to stop at the moment. I want to protect my tribe, and all the people I care about." He looked deeply into my eyes, and I felt my cheeks blush. He seemed to think of something though, and his face turned a little worried. "Does that bother you? That I might look this way for a while? Maybe even more than ten years?"

I looked at him in surprise, than laughed. "Jake, I can think of many worse things than having a hot, younger looking boyfriend when I'm thirty." My face flushed at my insinuation, that we would be together that long, but I just couldn't see myself without him. He seemed completely thrilled about my words though, and I relaxed again.

"You're amazing Isabelle. Are you sure this isn't freaking you out too much?"

I slid a hand up his arm, loving the smooth feeling of his skin under my hand. "No Jake. It's crazy, but it's not scary."

He leaned in to kiss me again, but stopped half way. "Charlie's ready to leave, he's saying good bye to my Dad now."

"You can hear them? In the house?" He nodded, and I was instantly chagrined. Every time I had murmured secret words to myself under my breath, even talking to my Mom, I bet he had heard all of those moments then too. The fact that he had never brought them up though calmed me. I guess none of it was enough to scare him away. "Okay, well I better go before he comes out here." I stood up a little too quickly, my legs half asleep from being stationary for so long, the blood rushing to my head making me dizzy, and stumbled slightly towards him. He caught me easily, and held me like that for a moment. He slid one of his arms around my waist, lifting me up off of the floor, and kissed me full on the mouth. It only lasted a few seconds, but the result had made me even more light headed before. I was gripping tightly onto his arms when he set me down, and something in my face made him laugh.

"I'll see you again soon?" He asked with a sly smile.

"Definitely."

* * *

I felt so much closer to Jacob after I learned about his secret. He had felt so horrible about the way he had had to bend the truth around me before, sometimes having to give me an outright lie. But I was completely sincere when I reassured him that I really understood why, and didn't begrudge him in the slightest for doing so. Just the fact that he trusted me with it now amazed me and drew me in.

It was just so hard to see him during the week though. This was the last half of senior year, and even though the materials weren't very challenging, they were still tedious and time consuming. So between my homework assignments, classes, which included the daily minor injuries of gym class and trying to navigate hallways, and my part time job, I was just so exhausted all of the time. He was able to stop by for dinner on Friday with his father, and hung out for a bit while I did homework, but aside from that I didn't get to see him as much as I wanted to. I craved his company, and the longer we were apart the more I began to doubt myself.

Sunday would be our day though. My one day of the week with no classes or work. I made sure to finish all of my homework before work on Saturday, so I would have absolutely no other obligations besides him.

He was coming over to pick me up at ten. We would get to just spend the day together hanging out, and Charlie was going to come over later in the afternoon.

So I completely panicked when I woke up, and it was already after eight o'clock. I had had unpleasant dreams, more like watching my memories on replay, again and again, and had woken up a dozen times during the night. My head was fuzzy, and I had a bit of a headache, but I made myself quickly get out of bed and ran into the shower. I was slowed by my knee banging painfully into a cabinet door Charlie had left open, and I cursed under my breath. That would bruise.

The hot running water made me feel better, and I stayed in its soothing presence for longer than I should have. I only half dried my hair, deciding to just put it in a braid, giving myself more time to make my bed and pick out an outfit. I felt really chilly, so I chose a warm pair of faded jeans, and a fitted black blouse that was made of a softer, thick type of material. After putting on a pair of small silver hoop earrings, I took a quick minute to inspect myself while I dashed back into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

My hair looked darker than usual, still partially wet, and my face seemed a little paler than normal. But I had an almost glowing, pink flush to my cheeks, and the overall effect made my eyes look big and vibrant. Satisfied under the circumstances, I grabbed my purse and headed down stairs.

"Wow Bells, you look really pretty today," Charlie said, embarrassing himself.

"Thanks Charlie. You don't look so bad yourself," I said with a smirk. I grabbed an apple and sat down at the table with him. Fifteen minutes to spare.

"You still hanging out with Jake this morning?" The apple tasted horrible with the leftover flavor of toothpaste in my mouth. I didn't feel very hungry anymore.

"Yeah, he should be over soon. You'll still be coming later right?"

"Mhmm, I'll be over around four, so you can get a lift home with me." He flipped the page of his newspaper. I thanked him again, and minutes later Jake rang the doorbell.

"Well, I'll see you later then Charlie." I waved, and went over to open the door. He was leaning on the door frame, his gorgeous smile lighting up his face. "Hey Jake," I said, not bothering to hide my smile.

"Hey. Wow. You look gorgeous Belle." I froze at the name, my heart clenching painfully. He noticed my reaction immediately, face turning to panic. "I'm sorry, it just slipped out. I mean your name sounds a little long, and I didn't think Bells sounded pretty enough to suit you, but Belle means pretty in French, you know? And it was just kind of there-"

"It's okay Jake, it just surprised me. No one's called me that in a long time. But I don't mind, really." I tried to offer him a reassuring smile, but the wound still felt exposed. He placed a hand gently on my upper arm, rubbing it comfortingly.

"Who?" I didn't need anything more to understand what he was referring to. He was probably the only person I would ever feel comfortable talking to about it either.

"My Mom. She always called me that. I even dressed up as the princess one Halloween to placate her." The memory made the corner of my lip pull up slightly.

He pulled me into a gentle embrace. I felt so small, so safe in his arms. "Are you sure you don't mind?" He whispered into my hair.

"No, I'm sure. It was nice, hearing it again." I pulled away to grab my jacket and purse so we could leave.

"See you later Charlie!" Jacob called into the house.

"Hey Jacob," Charlie called back in reply, and we walked down to his car. I smiled when he opened my door for me.

"So what do you want to do first?" He asked me as slid in, closing his door.

"Well, who's going to be over later, will it just be the four of us?"

"Well, if you're up for it, Leah wanted to see you too, and Embry and Quil have been asking to meet you again. Billy was planning on making a giant pot of spaghetti, though I guarantee you it won't be very edible. Maybe we should go out for lunch first."

"How about I cook? We can take a little trip to the grocery store before we head over to the Rez."

"Are you sure? That's a lot of people to cook for, and Embry and Quil have just as much of an appetite as I do."

"No, I'd like to. Besides, I just got paid the other day." I had been doing really well with saving my money. I never really bought anything except for gas.

"No, that's where I'm going to draw the line. If you're going to cook, then I'm going to pay," he said with a grin, and I conceited.

We stopped at the grocery store, picking up enough ground beef to feed a small village, a couple heads of lettuce, tomatoes, onions, peppers, a bunch of cheese, and a couple containers of sour cream, salsa, and boxes of taco shells. Jacob said he could handle any "leftovers," saying the word like it was a ridiculous concept , when I asked if we were getting too much.

* * *

He wouldn't let me carry a thing as we went into his house, and I was relieved as I had felt a little dizzy again after our short trip in the store. We unloaded all of our supplies, and Jacob was very determined to help me prepare it. We decided to get all of the prep out of the way, so we wouldn't have to later. I cut vegetables, while Jacob grated a giant mountain of cheese. It didn't take very long. We wrapped all of the dishes up in saran wrap, and managed to cram them all into the fridge.

My hands were trembling slightly as I tried to wash the smell of onions off of them. It had gotten chilly again, goose bumps forming on my arms, and I mentally hoped that I wasn't coming down with something.

"You feeling okay?" Jake asked, handing me a dish towel.

"Yeah I'm fine, just a bit of a headache." I looked at the time, only eleven thirty.

"How about we go sit down for a bit? Watch some TV?" He offered. I was happy to sit down for a little while.

"Where's Billy?" I asked curiously. He hasn't said hello when we came in earlier.

"Over at Harry's. He'll be home in a couple of hours," he said, settling down on the couch beside me. My body made a violent shiver. "Are you sure you're okay Belle?"

"Oh yeah, I think someone just walked over my grave."

"Uhm, what?"

"You've never heard that expression before?" He shook his head, smiling. "It's an old wives tale used to explain a random shudder. They thought that the sensation might me caused by someone in the future walking over the place where they would eventually be buried."

"So, you're not cold?"

I hesitated slightly. "Well, maybe a little," I admitted. It did feel like someone had left a window open.

"Well, you have your own personal space heater right here," he said, raising up his arms and wiggling his eye brows at me. It was very cute, and I kind of giggled before I slid in under his arm. He found a movie on TV, a sequel to another movie I had never seen, and started to explain the first one to me. After a couple minutes, I leaned more into his side, resting my head on his chest. He was just so warm. His deep voice rumbled in his chest as he spoke, and I decided it wouldn't hurt to close my eyes just for a minute…

"Belle? Isabelle? Hey, wake up." Jacob's voice was gentle, but I had forgotten where I was and panicked slightly. My heart was racing, pulse thudding in my ears. My face felt damp, and I realised that I had started crying in my sleep. I swiped furiously at them. This was against the rules, and how dare they betray me in front of Jacob. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry about that, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you." I was completely embarrassed. It was only one; at least I hadn't been out for too long.

"Don't apologize, I really don't mind. It was cute. I wouldn't have woken you up, but… It seemed like you were having a bad dream."

"Thanks." I leaned back into his side, wanting to draw comfort from his proximity.

"Who's George?" Hearing his name aloud sent a shock through me, and I looked up at Jacob. His face was very close. "You talk in your sleep," he explained, a small smile on his face.

My face would have flushed red in embarrassment if my reaction to his question hadn't had me frozen on the inside and out. I didn't think I could tell him, I didn't know how. What would he say, how would he feel about something like that, how would it make him feel about me? I didn't think I could survive his rejection. He had trusted me with his secrets though, and I wanted to do the same with him; maybe it was only fair. I wanted to tell him everything, too. I didn't want to hide from him, I didn't want him to think I didn't trust him.

His eyes seemed to look into my soul as I fought on the inside. They were so full of kindness, understanding, and love. So much love, I could really see it now. "Isabelle, I'm not going to force you to talk to me, not if you don't want to. But I want you to know that I would never judge you, or treat you differently because of something in your past." He put a finger under my chin when I went to look away, tilting my face back up towards his. "There is nothing in the world that could change how I feel about you." He said the words so fervently, and I couldn't doubt his deep, intense gaze.

"He was my second Foster… guardian." I told him quietly. He continued to watch me calmly, reassuring me with those beautiful brown eyes that it was okay to continue. So I did. I told him what it was like living in their family, they had pretty much taken me in for a live-in babysitter for their two young girls and a housekeeper. They were very strict people, nothing close to the way Charlie was with me. I told him how George would watch me, and how his wife never even seemed to notice. Then one day, he had told me that he'd gotten me a surprise. It was a new type of laundry detergent, and he stood closely behind me, watching me as I did a load that had been sitting there. His hands had wrapped around my neck when I stood up, refusing to let me move while he kissed me. "He was startled by the sound of his wife pulling into the garage, and I took the chance to punch him in the face. He knocked me to the ground, and his wife found us like that. I tried to tell her what happened, but he told her that I had just randomly attacked him. She didn't believe me."

He had watched me the entire time, and my eyes didn't water as I told him. I had been watching him too, waiting for his reaction, so I saw the urge growing in his eyes. I guess it became too much, because he slid his right arm under my knees, and fluidly pulled me onto his lap. Wrapped in so much of him, for a moment I felt that he was all there was in the world. I drew strength from that, and from the lightening feeling that came from revealing this little part of me to him.

"Thank you for telling me. I know that was very difficult."

"Thank you for letting me," I whispered back.

We shifted slightly after a little while. He didn't let me go, but moved us more to the corner of the couch, keeping me tucked between his arms, my legs dangling across his lap. I laid my head on his chest again, and could hear his strong heartbeat.

"Billy should be home in about an hour. Then Charlie will be over after," he stated after a couple minutes.

"Mhmm. And Leah, Embry, and Quil."

He sighed. "I'd rather just sit here, just like this, for the rest of the night. I don't want to let you go."

"You don't have to for another hour," I said shyly, and he didn't. He let me drift in and out for the next hour and a half before Billy came home, thankfully a little late.

* * *

Leah had come over with him, and we were joined shortly after by Quil and Embry. We decided to move out into his small back yard before Charlie came over, so we could talk in private. They seemed genuinely happy to have me in the loop, and I remembered what Jacob said about their shared minds. They would have seen that entire conversation in his memories, just like they will with the one we had had this afternoon. They would know everything. It was one thing to open up and tell something to Jacob, but realizing that I was saying it to six other people at the same time made me ill.

Dinner was very easy to cook, despite not having a big enough frying pan to cook the meat. Instead I just mixed the meat and spices together in a big steel buffet insert that Billy had in his cupboard. I just had to cook it on slow in the oven, and Jacob took it out every little bit to stir it up. I may have slightly burnt my hand on the element trying to lift it the first time. Everything else was done and self-serve.

It was very cozy, the seven of us packed into Billy's living room with plates on our laps. They all chatted easily while they ate, and I found myself somewhere else while I picked at my food. I felt exposed around them now, and couldn't bring myself to carry much of a conversation. Jacob knew that there was something wrong, but didn't press me while we were with company. I never quite got my energy back either, struggling to keep my eyes open and feeling a small sheen of sweat develop on my face.

"Are you okay Bells?" Charlie asked after a while. My eyes snapped open, and I realized I had drifted off again and was leaning against Jacob. They were both looking at me with a concerned expression, and I decided not to lie. I wanted to go home, and curl up alone in my bed. "You don't look so well."

"I think I'm coming down with a cold or something," I told him quietly.

"Okay, I'm going to take you home then, you should get some sleep." I nodded, and when I stood to get off of the couch, I swayed slightly as the room spun around me. Jacob put a steady hand on the small of my back, but I reassured him that I was fine and left with Charlie.

* * *

I woke up again at one in the morning, and it felt disgustingly hot under my blankets. A cold shower would have been nice, but there was no way I would risk waking up Charlie this early. So I kicked off my blankets, and opened my window. The cold night air was instantly soothing, and I pulled my desk chair over, sitting down in front of it. I rested my head on my folded arms against the window sill, drifting off again after a few minutes.

* * *

"Isabelle! Psst. Hey, Belle, wake up." It was a very quiet sound, someone whispering from far away. A violent shiver wracked my body, waking me up completely. I looked down at the lawn outside of my window, and Jacob was staring up at me, standing on my lawn in bare feet, jeans and a faded t-shirt.

"Jacob? What are you doing here?" My voice still sounded drowsy, and I wrapped my arms tightly around myself to still my shivers.

"I was worried about you, I needed to make sure you were okay. Back up for a second, we're going to wake up Charlie."

Curious, but not wanting to call down to him again now that he had mentioned Charlie, I obliged and backed away from my window. Maybe he had a grappling hook stashed in the bushes or something. I watched in amazement as he backed up, took a running leap at the tree beside my window, pulled himself up easily, and gracefully hopped off the branch, grabbing onto my windowsill and pulling himself inside.

I just stared at him with wide eyes for a minute.

"Pretty cool huh? You should see me on monkey bars," he said with an easy smile. He saw me shiver again, and thankfully closed the window before he walked over. "Are you okay Belle? Are you feeling any better?" He whispered.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I whispered back, and sat down on my bed heavily. He stood in front of me for a moment, not sure what to do, and I just patted for him to sit next to me.

"Liar." He accused, but he studied my face for a bit. "You're sick. You're heart beat sounds different, I can hear it." The strange words made me look up. I knew, but it was still strange to hear out loud. "But there's something else wrong, I can see it. Please, talk to me Belle."

I did want to talk to him. I didn't know what else to do, and I couldn't just leave him. I don't think I could ever leave him. "They'll know everything." I whispered, not being able to look at him. "I feel like when I'm with you now, even when we're completely alone, that we're sitting in a room full of watching people."

He didn't seem to need any more explanation, he was much more used to this that I was after all. "I'm sorry. You know I would never tell anyone if I could help it, but I won't lie to you. None of us like it, having all of our secrets opened for the pack to see. But I can promise you this; no one is going to judge you, no one is going to ask questions, and none of them will treat you any differently. They respect our privacy as much as they can. You're part of our family now, and they love you just as much as I do."

I looked up in surprise at his words. I had seen the look of it in his eyes, but he had never said the words aloud before. It moved something inside of me, and my perspective shifted slightly. If Jacob Black loved me, then maybe I could deal with the rest.

I thought that in the sidelines of my mind though, the larger part of my conscious was panicking as it tried to figure out what to do. He said he loved me, and I needed to say something back. I knew that deep down, I loved him too. That could be the only name for the force that drew us together, my constant craving to be near him and make him smile, but the words stuck in my throat. I opened my mouth to speak, but he quieted me with one large finger against my lips. He didn't look embarrassed by his revelation at all, but it seemed to make him even stronger. "Isabelle, I don't need a reply to that. Don't say anything that you're not ready for. But I want you to know that I meant it, in every way possible."

His finger slid away from my mouth as I nodded my head, and he relaxed with a small smile.

"I'm sorry Jacob," I told him, not knowing what else to say.

"Don't be. I'm just glad that you told me. I don't want you to hide, ever." His hand slid onto my arm, and he actually flinched away. "God, you're freezing Isabelle," he said in a shocked tone. I could tell that he was a little lost, realizing that he was alone on my bed with me in the dark, probably worrying about making me uncomfortable. He slid a little closer.

"I don't want you to catch my cold," I told him sadly. I wanted him to hold me, to be close to him. But I could imagine how horrible I looked right now. At least I hadn't worn my usual sweat pants to bed. It had been too warm, so I was wearing a thin pair of black pyjama bottoms and a white tank top. He reached over and put an arm around me anyways.

"I don't catch colds, but you'd be worth the risk," he whispered into my hair. I relaxed in his embrace. He made me curl up in my blankets, and sat with me until I fell asleep.

* * *

"No, you're not going to school today. I'm putting my foot down on this one Isabelle," Charlie told me with a stern expression, blocking my way out the front door.

"It's really not that bad Charlie," I said in a tired voice. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"I'll tell you what. If you let me take you to the hospital, and they tell me that you're not sick, I'll let you go to class." The corner of his mouth twitched up when I frowned. He had called my bluff, and he knew it. I took my coat off again, hanging it back up on its usual peg. "That's what I thought. Now, you will stay home today, and you will sleep. No cleaning, no cooking. I don't care if you watch TV, I just want you to rest." His voice had turned soft when I looked away worriedly from his stern tone. "I'm not upset with you Isabelle, I'm just worried."

I nodded, and let him give me a half hug before he went off to work. I grabbed my quilt from my bed and curled back up on the couch, falling asleep quickly with the quiet background noise that the TV provided.

Waking up to the sound of a faint knock on the door, I looked to the cable box and saw that it was already one. I conceited that maybe Charlie had been right. I got up, took a long stretch, and stumbled sleepily over to the door.

"Oh, hey Jake. Don't you work during the day?" He had been gone when I woke up this morning, finding an extra blanket wrapped around me and a damp facecloth on my forehead. I smiled at the memory. "I thought you worked weekdays."

"I do, but I doubted Charlie would let you go to school today, so I thought I'd come check on you during my lunch break." He gave me an easy smile, and came inside. He had brought me soup along with his own lunch, and we got to sit and eat together for a half hour before he had to go back to the garage.

"I'm sorry again about yesterday," I told him. I hadn't been very good company while I had been over. I felt like I had been rude to the others as well. After we talked though, the idea of them knowing me didn't scare me as much. They had all trusted me with their secrets, and I would try to trust them with mine. He assured me that things would be fine, and that they didn't blame me for being upset.

* * *

Thankfully I got over my little cold quickly, and over the next few weeks my routine became more comfortable. I didn't get to hang out with Angela as much as I wanted too, she was always busy with homework, projects, Ben, family and working part time at the grocery store, but we sat together every lunch, and I would stay late after school to do homework with them every once in a while.

Sundays remained my Jacob days. I would usually get to see him for little bits of time during the week, sometimes he would come over for dinner with his Dad, or just stop by for a couple minutes to say hi to me. I missed him every day. I was determined not to be one of those women who gave up her own identity for a relationship though. As much as I enjoyed his company, and loved spending my free time with him, I didn't want to lose the balance with the other parts of my life that I now enjoyed so much. Studying, reading, work, my friends and Charlie. The time we spent apart though just made those Sundays more enjoyable.

We would usually spend the morning alone, and in the afternoons we would hang out with his pack. Usually at Emily and Sam's house, sometimes at his place, other times at the beach. Emily, who I found out a couple weeks ago was actually Sam's fiancé, had kind of taken on the role of a den mother with the pack. She was always cooking for them and fixing their clothes, and their small cabin was kind of their main hangout. She seemed thrilled with the fact that I enjoyed helping, and I knew it couldn't be easy to keep these boys fed.

* * *

Jake was leaning against his counter, smiling and playing with a lock of my hair while I stirred a giant pot of chilli on his stove. The longer it cooked, the better it would taste, so I had started it as soon as I came over. He had been trying to distract me the entire time, making me fight him for my peppers, hiding the knives and spoons from me. Things that would usually annoy me, but when he would do them it just made me smile. I sighed, and put down my spoon, leaving the burner to simmer on low and finally turning to face him.

"I like watching you cook," he said in a quiet voice. Billy was watching TV in the next room, and we were trying not to annoy him. Whenever we got too loud during his football games he would kick us out.

"Could have fooled me. I could swear that you were trying to sabotage my chilli," I told him with a smile, sliding closer to him. His answering smile was dazzling. Jacob slid his hands down my arms, then softly placed them on my hips. Those big, warm hands always distracted me, in a very good way.

"I couldn't help myself. You just look so adorable when you're frustrated." I scowled at him, and when I went to smack his chest he caught my hand, pulling me against him while his smile grew.

I placed my free hand on his stomach, and when he let go of my other it did the same. His hand slid up into my hair as he leaned down and kissed me. I got lost in the heat of his kisses, always making my heart beat too loudly and my breathing speed up. I gripped tightly onto his shirt as his lips became more urgent. Tightening his grip on my waist, he easily lifted me off of the floor, sitting me on the counter so he didn't have to lean over so far. My arms snaked up around his neck. It was rare that I ever let it get this… intense, but I didn't want to stop.

He felt the change in me instantly when his hand slid up my thigh, and he stopped automatically. He always just seemed to instinctually know how I felt, and what to do to make it better. He knew me completely, better than anyone in the world.

"Sorry," he whispered, his forehead still pressed against mine. "Too fast?"

"Just a little," I whispered. I hated myself in moments like this; it made me feel like I was leading him on sometimes. I trusted him so completely, but there were just things about myself that I couldn't change, or couldn't control. But no matter what, he seemed to have an endless supply of patience for me.

"Hey, Belle. It's okay. This is enough."

"Are you sure Jacob?"

"Completely." He poked me in the side, making me squeal with laughter. God, I hated being so ticklish.

"Hey!" Billy shouted from the next room, and I covered my mouth. Jake backed up as I slid off of the counter to stir the pot again.

"You know, we don't have to go over to Emily's. We could just stay here, or go to the beach…"

"Nope. I told her I was bringing this. We're not going to bail. Besides, I haven't seen Leah in forever." I poured a bowl of chilli and handed it to Jake. "Go give this to your Dad so he doesn't kick us out again."

* * *

"Isabelle!" Emily said, running over to give me a hug when we walked in. It was like one large room; the kitchen, living room and front foyer all blended in together. Jacob carried the pot over to the stove and set it down. It was kind of sweet how he would always carry things around for me, I probably would have dropped it otherwise.

"Hey Em, it smells delicious in here."

"Thanks, I'm trying out a new cornbread recipe. Paul! You put that lid back on that pot!" She dashed over to the kitchen to chase him away with a wooden spoon, and I followed slowly to turn on the stove. I had turned on the gas, lit the element, and slid the pot over when I felt something tug on the hem of my shirt.

"Well, hey there," I said to the adorable little girl standing beside me. She was looking up at me with the cutest expression, a big smile dimpling her chubby cheeks. She had the same dark skin, black hair and brown eyes that were so common in this town. I couldn't help smiling back at her, and knelt down to her level. "What's your name?"

"Cwaire," she said with the most adorable lisp. It melted my heart. Emily came over and knelt with us.

"I see you've met my niece Claire. Clarie, this is Isabelle," she introduced. "She's staying with me for the weekend while my sister is out of town for work."

"Well, is it really nice to meet you Claire," I told her happily. She decided to get shy then, and hid behind her Aunt. I laughed lightly, and went to go sit down next to Jacob at her kitchen table. He caught me as I pulled out the seat next to him, pulling me onto his lap and kissing me in front of everyone, making my face flush violently.

"Sorry, couldn't help myself," he chuckled, not sounding sorry in the slightest. I rolled my eyes, but decided not to leave. He didn't seem to mind my weight perched on one of his legs. Leah came and sat next to us, asking about taking a trip to Port Angeles sometime soon.

Then, something very strange happened.

Emily came and sat with us at the table, holding Claire in her lap. She was playing with a pile of cheerios on the table, when Quil came in. He seemed completely fine, but when he walked over to the table and said hello to everyone, something changed drastically. I saw as he looked at Claire, who was staring back at him with a happy smile. His eyes almost glazed over, and he went completely still for a moment before he dropped to his knees. His expression was too intense for words, but tickled something in the back of my mind.

I slid off of Jacob as he got up and ran over to him. He pulled him up, and walked him outside with Embry without saying a word. I took a quick peek at Leah and Emily, Leah looked a little aggravated and Emily was watching her niece with a concerned expression.

"What was that?" I asked them. Neither of them said anything, and I looked over at the couch where Sam, Seth and Paul were sitting together, raising an eyebrow at them. Sam sighed, then met my gaze.

"I can tell you if you want Isabelle, but I think Jake would prefer to explain it himself."

I watched him evenly for a moment, making sure to keep my face neutral and control my temper. I didn't need to over-react. They weren't trying to hide anything from me, these people were my family. They were just giving me a choice. I sighed quietly, shooting another look at the door.

"Is Quil going to be okay?"

"Hah, yeah. He'll be fine," Sam said with a chuckle. Emily shot him a dark look.

"Can I speak to you, _privately_," Emily said in a dark tone. Something I had never heard her do before, especially with Sam. His smile disappeared quickly, and they went to their bedroom, closing the door and leaving me with Leah and Claire. Leah had a faint smile on her face, and I couldn't help but also think it was a little funny, in a weird way, seeing Emily pissed off.

"Izzy!" Claire shouted, apparently not afraid of me anymore.

"Who? Me?" I asked in a happy, indulgent voice. She nodded her head, and stretched out her arms for me to pick her up. I didn't see any harm in it, so I lifted her and sat her in my lap. She had cheerios everywhere, stuck to her face, her hands, and tangled in her hair. I started picking them out and setting them on the table while she swung her legs happily.

"So how old are you Claire?" I asked curiously. She seemed delighted to be included in conversation. I never really got the point of baby talk, I don't think it accomplished anything positive. I just kept my voice happy and encouraging.

"This many," she said, holding up two fingers. She was distracted by the cheerios again, and started picking up the ones I was putting down to throw at Leah. She accepted the battle happily, starting to flick them back at Claire, but mostly hitting me. They both seemed to be having so much fun though, and I couldn't find it in my heart to tell them to stop.

Emily came back after a few minutes to break up the fight, and she made Leah pick up the cheerios while she sat back down next to me. Claire was playing with my hair, and I was watching her Aunt curiously.

"You okay?" I didn't bother whispering, we both knew they would all hear us. She nodded, giving me a small, reassuring smile. I wanted to know what was going on; I thought we had gotten past all the secrets, and I felt a little hurt.

It was a little while before the boys came back in. Quil practically ran over to the table, grabbing a seat quickly. He had the most brilliant smile on his face, and his eyes had this lost, dazed look as he watched Claire and Emily.

Jacob was watching me, and I evaluated his expression carefully. There were too many things going on in his eyes, and they were all drowned out by the smile he had for me. I gave him a small smile back, and got up to stir the chilli again.

"How far did you guys go?" I asked him curiously when he returned to my side.

"Not far, we were just in the backyard." He sounded really nervous when he continued. "We can leave, if you want to talk."

I looked up, worried by his tone. It was just so rare to see this sort of behaviour from him. I didn't want to make it worse. "It's okay. Can we talk after dinner maybe?"

"Yeah, of course." His relief relaxed me, and I stretched up onto the tips of my toes to kiss him on the cheek.

* * *

Charlie's cruiser was parked in the driveway when we walked back to Jacob's house, so we went and sat in his car. It had more comfortable seats than his shed.

He seemed to be having trouble speaking, so I decided to start. "What happened to Quil today?"

He answered clearly without hesitation. "He imprinted on Claire."

I thought about the curious word for a moment. An imprint could be a mark left by pressure, like a thumb print in clay, or even a stamp. It was also a term used for a publisher's name and address and such on a book or something, but that didn't fit into what he was saying. "What do you mean?"

"It's another thing from our legends. It's what we call finding… I guess you can call them a soul mate. We don't know why it happens, but it does every once in a while." He looked at me, and I asked him with my eyes to continue. "It's like, when you see that person for the first time, the entire universe melts away, and she's the only thing that matters. You just know that she was the reason you were born, everything you could ever want or ever need is tied into her existence."

His words were so beautiful, mesmerizing. "So it's like, a love at first sight sort of thing?"

"Kind of, but it's so much more."

"But Claire's just a baby!" I knew Quil, he was a good guy. What Jacob was saying about him now didn't fit into that now. It sounded wrong.

"It's not like that," he said in a desperate voice. "It's not about sex, or anything physical like that. It's more like something spiritual. Quil would never do anything like that; he would never hurt her or let anyone else hurt her. The imprint, all you want do is make her happy. You'd do anything, be anything, to make that happen. He will be her best friend, her babysitter or her protector, and when she grows up, if she wants something more, that will be her choice. All he wants is to be a part of her life. It's just never happened with someone so young before."

He was begging me with his eyes to understand, and I could tell that this was really important to him. What he had described fit better with what I knew about Quil. He was one of the nicest, sweetest guys I knew. If I could believe in shape shifters and his tales of vampires, I could believe him in this also. I did.

"Okay," I said while nodding. Something else clicked. "Sam and Emily?"

"Yeah." He was watching, waiting for me to say something. Why did he look so stressed? My stomach clenched.

"Has anyone else in your pack… Imprinted?"

One long, silent moment passed. "Yes. I did."

The pain was staggering, and I'm glad that I was already sitting down. Waves of hurt and jealousy crashed against me as I thought of Jacob, _my_ Jacob, holding another woman. Kissing her, touching her… It was too much, and I fought against the stinging in my eyes. "Who was she?"

"What?"

"Who was she? What was she like? What happened to her?" I had to ask, I _needed _to know.

"Isabelle." He said it almost like a question, but I couldn't move. Why did this have to hurt so much? He was with me now, after all. What sort of pain must he have gone through though, and never mentioned… He slid a finger under my chin, turning my face so I would look at him. "Belle, you silly girl. It's you. I imprinted on you."

Those words spun in circles in my mind. I remembered the first time I had met Jacob. He had looked at me just like Quil had looked at Claire today, completely frozen, lost, he dropped that plate, Leah said he was sick… Then he came back completely fine, and has pretty much been by my side ever since. But this… He had no control over this.

"Then this isn't real, is it? You didn't choose this. You didn't even know me when you met me, but were just automatically bound by this wolfy magic? How can it be real if it's some sort of spell that is the only thing that makes you like me?" I felt a tear roll down my cheek, and hated that he wouldn't let me look away from him.

"Imprint or not, I would have fallen for you either way Belle. You're kind, strong, funny, intelligent, brave, beautiful. Every single thing about you draws me in. The bond… I don't see it as a curse, I'm grateful that it just helped me find you sooner. My feelings are _real_, Belle. I swear. _Please_ believe that."

Even if _he_ believed that, there was no way he could know for sure if it was true. But I was selfish. I didn't want to let him go, I couldn't.

"I love you Jacob."

His answering smile was dazzling. "I love you too Isabelle."

**Thanks for Reading!**


	7. Chapter Seven: Graduate

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. Caution: ****Will contain mature language and subject matter.**

**Chapter Seven :: Graduate**

"What was this from?" Jacob asked me, lightly tracing over the scar over my ribcage with a finger and making me laugh. He knew all of my weak spots.

I was lying next to him on the sandy beach in my two-piece, just drying off from our dip in the water not long ago. I had finally convinced him to take me cliff diving with the others. It had been so exciting, but I hadn't been scared in the slightest as he picked me up in his arms, and held me as we took the thirty-foot drop into the icy water. My girly scream had been nothing but excitement as we fell. Now we were just relaxing on the beach, enjoying the bright sunshine that we had been granted on this beautiful Sunday. Emily and Sam were sitting a few yards away together in the sand, watching Leah and Quil building a sandcastle with Claire. The rest of the guys had taken the hike back to jump again.

"The surgery after I fell down the stairs." He knew that I hadn't actually fallen; he knew every single thing about me. He nodded, and leaned in to kiss the scar, making me burst out laughing again. The air might have been cool, but I was perfectly warm so close to his exposed skin. He was wearing nothing except for the pair of swimming trunks, and it was really hard not to stare. If anything, it was getting really hot, and I got up to run back into the water. He chased after me, catching up to me easily and throwing me over his shoulder and he ran back into the water, throwing water everywhere. We fell in, and after I caught my breath his mouth crashed against mine again. It was such an amazing sensation, the icy water, and my bare stomach pressed against his as the palm of his hand rested on my back.

A year ago, there was no amount of money in the world that could have gotten me go out in public wearing a bathing suit, let alone a bikini. But Jacob had changed me so completely; the definition of shyness was lost on me when I was around him. I knew that he loved every single part of me. These moments were the most amazing parts of my life; they didn't make me nervous anymore. I would get lost in them, comfortable knowing Jacob wouldn't take it any further than our heated kisses and gentle caresses. Sometimes not so gentle, but he knew that I loved it when his large hands would wrap around my waist and grip onto me tightly. He could hear my heart stutter whenever it happened. He would wait until I told him I was ready, without ever the slightest indication that he wanted more.

We couldn't stay in the water too long though, and he knew our time was up when my lips started trembling against his. His arm stayed on my waist as we walked back up to the beach, dropping back down together on our beach blanket. He pulled me over onto his lap, wrapping both arms around me to quiet my shivers.

"Guess what," I asked him a little nervously. I wasn't sure how he would react to the news, even though I knew he would be happy for me.

"What?" His voice was very intrigued.

"I received a scholarship to Washington State University on Friday."

"Seriously?" He asked, voice excited. I sighed in relief; I hated seeing him sad.

"Yup. So I guess I won't have to keep going through this legal battle with Renee to tap into my trust fund. They're even covering my costs of living."

"That's amazing Belle, I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy for you." I was smiling against his lips as he kissed me again.

"So this is… okay? We'll be okay?"

My question seemed to throw him off for a moment, but he gave me a reassuring smile as he cupped the side of my face. I relaxed into his hand. "Of course we'll be okay. We'll work something out. We can alternate weekends for visiting, call each other, we'll still have our holidays together. I'll miss you, but I want you to follow your dreams."

"Thank you Jacob. It makes me so happy to hear you say that. I love you so much."

"I love you more," he told me with a fierce voice, kissing me again passionately. All of a sudden, he pulled away and sighed dramatically.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked in a panicked voice, and he gave me the most heart-wrenching pouty face that I had ever seen.

"For a moment there, I actually thought you had decided to invite me to your prom."

I burst out laughing again, having to clutch my stomach. It was hard to believe that I was already in the last month on my classes. Three and a half more weeks, then my high school life would be over. "Do you really want to go?" I asked him, raising an eye brow.

"I'd go anywhere with you. But I'd really like to see you in a dress," he said with an unembarrassed smile.

"What? Seeing me in a bikini isn't exciting enough for you?" I asked with a challenging smile.

"Well, if you'd wear this to your prom I'd be even more excited to go."

"Smooth," I told him with a laugh. "Hey Jacob?"

"Yes Isabelle?"

"Will you go to prom with me?"

His answering smile took my breath away as he said yes. I loved being the one to put that smile there.

"Way to go Jake!" Quil shouted from down the beach.

"Hey! No eaves dropping!" I shouted back with an easy smile. I knew he couldn't help it, and he knew that I didn't care. The five others came over and joined us, Claire crawling into my lap. She had grown kind of attached to me, saying that she thought my "weird hair and eyes" were pretty. I didn't mind, I knew that I stood out in my pack.

"So do you know what classes you'll be taking yet?" Emily asked curiously. She was pulling out a bunch of containers of sandwiches, fruits and veggies, lying them out on the blanket. Paul was going to be pissed when he found out that we started eating without him.

"I'm not registered yet, but I'm going to major in English Literature and Writing, with minors in History and Environmental Sciences."

"Wow." Emily's mouth hung open a little bit, stunned. I looked over to Leah, and she had a glint of jealousy in her eyes. I had been helping her study to take SATs whenever I had spare time. She wanted to go to college, but had no idea what she wanted to do. More often than not during our lessons, she would get so frustrated that she would have to go outside and phase to calm down. I thought it was adorable, and her wolf was so beautiful.

* * *

"So did you tell Jacob about the scholarship?"

I hadn't gotten to see Charlie last night, he had been asleep when I came home. He must have gotten off of work early I noted, as he came and sat in a lawn chair close by. I was working on my little vegetable garden in the backyard that I had convinced Jake to build for me. The sprouts had just gotten big enough to plant outside, and I was transferring them from their pods and putting them into the ground.

"Yeah, he took it really well."

"I told you he would. Kid's crazy about you." There was something off about his tone that caught my attention.

"What's up Charlie?" His faced looked pained as he looked at me. This was obviously something difficult for him to talk about, and my stomach began to feel uneasy. He sighed deeply.

"Isabelle, I know that you and Jacob have become really serious. You're both so young, I just want to make sure that you're… taking precautions."

My face flamed red, and I seriously thought I was going to die. Charlie was just trying to protect me though, and I knew that this conversation was hard for him. I fidgeted.

"Charlie, we're not… I mean we are! I mean… Our relationship isn't like that. We haven't… You know. Jacob is a complete gentleman." Maybe not a _complete_ gentleman, but Charlie didn't need to know the details. He visibly relaxed, though still looked uncomfortable.

"Okay, good. But if anything changes-"

"Yes Charlie. I will."

"Good. Well, okay then. I'm going to go order a pizza." He pretty much ran inside, and despite how horrified I was by what just happened, I couldn't help laughing. I think I'll just give him some space for a day or so.

* * *

During first period, there was a call for me over the school's intercom to go to the principal's office. I was jeered by the classic "Oooo"s from my classmates as I rushed out of the room, and walked down the hall to his office. He waved me in immediately, and I sat down in a chair across from him a little nervously.

"Ah, Isabelle. So, I take it that you know why I've called you down?" I shook my head nervously, and he raised an eye brow. "Well dear, its custom that the student graduating with the highest GPA is named valedictorian at our school."

I just stared at him until he got uncomfortable.

"Um. That would be you, by the way."

I shook my head clear. "I appreciate the offer Sir, I'm honored, but I need to respectfully decline."

He watched in disbelief. "Miss Swan, I'm sure you know that this would be very beneficial on a college application-"

"I've already received a full scholarship from Washington State Sir, I think I'll be fine."

"Oh, well. Hmm. Sorry, but this doesn't happen often," he told me with a small smile. "That's okay though, if you're sure. May I at least ask you why?"

"Well, I've only been here for one semester really. The majority of my classmates have been here together for their entire lives. I think if would be more meaningful for someone else."

"You're a good kid Miss Swan. You can head back to class now."

"Could you… not tell anyone about this? I wouldn't want to mar the excitement of the valedictorian."

"Of course."

I thanked him again, and got up to leave. I stopped at the doorway, and couldn't stifle my curiosity. "Sir? I swear I won't tell anyone, but could I ask who the next person is?"

He evaluated me carefully for a moment, then picked up some papers on his desk, flipping through a couple pages. "Ah, yes. Ms. Webber. Don't ruin the surprise for her though Isabelle."

"Of course Sir, I wouldn't dream of it," I told him, walking back to class with a big smile.

* * *

Angela was curious of course for why I had been called, but she had to wait until lunch for enough time to actually ask. She was completely scattered and stressed with the end of the school, and I was so happy for her. Her hard work was going to pay off, and I could think of no one more deserving of the title than her.

"So what did the principle want to talk to you about?" We were sitting outside at a picnic table with Ben, and I was glad that she was taking the break away from her work. It's wasn't particularly sunny out, but it was warm and dry.

"He just wanted to talk to me about my scholarship." That was a good enough excuse I decided, and technically it wasn't a lie because I did mention my scholarship. I didn't feel too bad about lying to her. It was for her own good.

"You got a scholarship?" She asked in and excited tone, oops.

"Sorry, I meant to tell you. I just got the letter Friday with my acceptance to Washington State."

"That's amazing! I'm so happy for you," she exclaimed with complete sincerity.

"Thanks Ang." Ben had to go check out a book at the Library, and gave Angela a quick kiss before leaving us. "So… I was wondering if you wanted to take a shopping trip to Seattle with me soon?"

"Sure, what do you want to get?"

"I need a prom dress," I said in a completely awkward voice, making her laugh.

"Yes, I'd love to. I had been getting a bit worried that you wouldn't be going. I didn't think dances were really your thing."

"They're not. But it will make Jacob happy. Plus I should probably get something nice to wear for Grad also."

We made plans to go in a couple weeks on a Sunday. I was a little upset that I would miss my Jacob day, but I was doing this for him after all.

* * *

"Are you sure that you don't want me to come with you?" Jacob asked for the hundredth time.

"I don't want you to see my dress," I told him seriously. It was so hard to say no to him, especially when I knew he was just worried about my safety, but it was only Seattle. I used to live there; I could handle a one day shopping trip with a friend.

"How about you take Leah with you?"

I had debated it, I wanted to take her with me, but it was still the same issue. "Because if I do you'll _still _see my dress," I told him knowingly. He rolled his eyes.

"Okay okay, just be careful tomorrow all right?"

"I will. Stop worrying so much," I told him, knowing it was futile.

* * *

We had beautiful weather for the drive, traveling down the highway with the windows open was really nice. Angela helped pass the time as she read her speech to me, asking for help with improvements. She was completely thrilled by the opportunity that she had been given, and even happier now that she'd started getting her acceptance letters in the mail last week. I don't know how she could have been worried about not getting any, she completely underestimated herself.

I knew where the best stores would be, so it wasn't hard to find them. The only difficult part was finding a parking spot. Once that was accomplished though, we easily made the journey to our destination through the streets. The stores were completely nuts, and Angela and I took turns with one changing room. While she was trying something on, I would run and find a dress, come back and give me her my opinion, then we'd switch. It was very efficient.

It did take almost two hours though before we decided on what we wanted. Angela got a beautiful baby-pink full length gown, and she looked like a princess in it. I went for something a little more simple. A tank dress with a cowl skirt, it was knee length, a light peaches and cream colour with a simple black sash that hugged my waist in a very flattering way. Angela convinced me to buy a pair of black heels too, even though she was wearing flats herself, saying that she wanted to "live vicariously through me." She was very self-conscious of the fact that she was half an inch taller than Ben.

It was incredibly hot inside the store, and I guessed that they were having troubles with their air conditioning, so it was a relief to get back outside where there was a breeze. We were chatting excitedly as we walked, Angela wanted me to take her to a music store, and I got a little lost on the way.

"I think we can get back to the street if we cut through this way," I told her, as she nervously followed me through an alley between department stores. The sun had started to set, and the shadows that the buildings threw over us made the alley seem dark. I immediately regretted taking her through this way when I saw how uncomfortable she was. I was used to this. "Sorry Ang, we can just go back and take the long way around," I reassured her, and she grabbed onto my arm.

"Isabelle," she said in a panicked whisper, but I had already noticed what she saw. There were two men walking towards us, one from each end of the alley. I pushed her slightly behind me, and kept walking towards the entrance of the alley. I was well aware that we were approaching the first man, and heard the other one jogging towards us. I wanted to get as close to the street as possible though.

"Hello ladies. You lost?"

"No, we're fine thanks. We're just going to meet our boyfriends around the corner," I said in an even voice. Angela grabbed onto my wrist, and I could tell that he didn't fall for my bluff as he leaned in too closely. _Go ahead, I dare you_, I challenged with my eyes, but he wasn't afraid.

"Now now, what's the rush? We can keep you company for a little while." His hand stretched out towards Angela, and I moved so that she was between me and the brick wall.

"I'm warning you, you should leave now." I put as much anger and force into my voice as possible, and he just threw his head back laughing, just like Jacob did whenever I threatened him.

He was nothing like my Jacob though, so while his eyes were closed while he laughed, I kicked him hard, right between his legs.

He fell over with a scream, and his friend lunged. I was expecting it though, and got him right in the eyes with my can of pepper spray, and punched him right in the face.

"Angela, run!" I shouted to her, and we booked it out of the alleyway, onto the busy street of oblivious bystanders, and made it to my truck in fifteen minutes. Coach would have been so proud of me, I barely tripped.

We were both panting hard once we got in and closed the doors, so it was a minute before I could speak. "Are you okay Angela?"

She was staring at me with wide eyes, her chest rising and falling quickly with her laboured breathing. "Isabelle, that was absolutely crazy."

"Are you alright though? You're not hurt are you?"

"No, I'm fine. You _saved_ me," She said in a revered voice. "You're my hero."

I couldn't help laughing at that, it was just so cliché, and she joined me quickly, our relief almost intoxicating. I grabbed the steering wheel, and winced painfully.

"Are _you_ okay?" She asked, noticing my wince.

"Yeah… I think I might have broken my hand though." I tried to make a fist, and radiating pain shot through it. Yep, broken. I'd had worse though.

"I'm so sorry Isabelle!"

"Don't be, it was worth it to punch that creep in the face." I looked at her, trying to smile again. "You still want to go to that music store?"

She laughed again in disbelief, and offered to drive home. We had to stop at the hospital, and one of the nurses went and called Charlie behind my back. Angela was with me, so I couldn't really lie about what had happened. He sat by my bed, hand twitching towards his gun every once in a while, while we waited for my x-rays to come back. I was fine really, the bed was kind of dramatic. I had kicked off my shoes and was sitting cross-legged on it while I held a bag of ice.

"You should call Ben to come pick you up Angela, you don't have to stay here." I know that she had a lot of work to do.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'll be fine. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

She watched me for one long moment, and then surprised me by leaning over my bed and hugging me tightly. "Thanks Isabelle."

"Don't mention it," I said with a reassuring smile. "I'm serious. _Please_ don't mention it to anyone."

So, it turns out that I broke two of my fingers, and fractured one of my knuckles, so I had to get a cast put on. It was after nine before we got in the car to leave. They weren't very serious ones though; hopefully I could have it off in a few weeks. Charlie didn't want me driving, and said he would get someone to bring my truck home later. He was very silent, scowling at the dark road while we drove.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked him nervously. I was always stressing him out so much. He let out an exasperated sigh.

"No Bells, I'm not mad _at you_, I'm just mad." Of course he was. Charlie was a cop, fighting people like that was his job and passion.

"Well, I got to use your pepper spray for the first time." He looked over at my tone, and I offered him the biggest smile that my face was capable of. He relaxed slightly when he laughed at me, shaking my head.

"So I take it I'm not under arrest then?"

He assured me that I wasn't, but made me give him descriptions of the men in case either of them showed up at the hospital in Seattle. After assuring him that I was alright, I could see his need to be doing something, he dropped me off at home and assured me he'd get one of his coworkers to help bring my truck back.

I was just taking my dress out of its box to hang it up when the doorbell rang. Curious, I shut my closet door, and went down to answer it. I shouldn't have been surprised to see Jacob there.

"Hey Belle, I saw the light on but your truck isn't here. You guys weren't answering the phone, so I thought I'd come make sure everything was okay."

"Sorry Jake, I was going to call you, but I just got in like two minutes ago."

"No no, it's okay. Sorry for being so needy," he said, making me laugh. "It felt wrong not to see you on our day though. Where's your truck?" I had gestured for him to come inside, still hiding my hand behind my back because I knew he was going to freak out, and we sat on the couch.

I took a deep breath. "Um, it's at the hospital. Charlie said he'd grab it for me later." Yup, instant panic on his face, but he at least kept his voice calm.

"And why is your truck at the hospital?"

I gave him a sheepish grin. "I kind of broke my hand a little." I dropped my arm back to my side. With wide eyes, he jumped off of the couch.

"God Belle, what happened? Are you okay?"

I pulled him back down to the couch. "I'm completely fine Jake, it was nothing."

"Nothing does not result in a broken hand, even for you. What happened?"

A twinge of uneasiness in my stomach. "It really doesn't matter Jake-"

"Please, just tell me Isabelle. My imagination will drive me mad if you don't."

I was sure he would find out anyways. Charlie would probably tell Billy, and even if Billy didn't tell Jake himself, he would probably overhear their conversation. I sighed, knowing what his reaction would be, and told him.

He started shaking. I knew what had happened to Emily, but I wasn't afraid of Jacob. I just needed to make him look at me. I placed my good hand on his cheek. "Jacob, it's okay. I'm okay. Nothing happened, and they ended up worse than I did. Open your eyes." Still shaking, he did open them, and my heart clenched seeing him in pain. I offered him a calming smile "See? I'm fine. Just calm down. Breathe."

It took him a couple minutes, but he did relax under my touch. When he stopped shaking, I leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss. I let him pull me into his arms and hold me for a while until he was ready to talk.

"Does it hurt?" He asked me quietly, talking into my hair.

"Nope," I lied easily.

"I could kill them, you know."

"I'm very aware that you could. But I would miss you too much if you got caught," I teased. I felt him laugh quietly.

"So, you really punched a guy in the face?"

"Yup, after I sprayed him with pepper spray. It was pretty cool."

"Hah, I bet."

He begrudgingly let me get up to flick on the TV and get us something to drink before I settled back down on his lap. I told him about the rest of our shopping trip, letting him know that I did get my dress, and he told me what the pack did for the day, letting me know that they missed me. I had missed them too, it was just weird to mess with our routine. It was starting to get late, and knowing that Charlie would be back soon, I sadly told him that he would need to leave soon.

"I don't think I can," he said in complete seriousness. "I miss you too much, I can let you go yet."

I had an idea, feeling oddly rebellious today after that action. "Charlie will let me stay home tomorrow. I might not be the best company, but you're welcome to come play hooky with me if you can get out of work."

His answer was instant. "I'll be here as soon as Charlie pulls out of the driveway."

He left minutes later, and finally getting too fed up with the dull throbbing ache in my hand, I took a couple of my pain killers before bed, not caring about the repercussions.

* * *

And there were repercussions. I woke up at four in the morning, throwing up violently into the toilet. It woke up Charlie, who hovered around a little panicked, not knowing what to do.

"I'm fine Charlie. My hand was really bothering me so I took some of the painkillers. I just forgot to eat something before."

"You didn't take too many did you?"

"No, the bottle said two, so I took two. I'll be fine."

"What can I do?"

"A glass of cold water would be ni-" Yeah, there it goes again. Charlie ran downstairs, to my relief. Giving me a couple minutes of privacy.

"I think you should stay home today Belle."

I nodded, pissed off that I probably just ruined my day with Jacob.

After my stomach settled, and I brushed my teeth, I was able to fall asleep. I woke up when Charlie was in the shower during the morning, and decided to call Jake and give him a heads up. Billy was always up at the crack of dawn anyways.

"Hey Billy, can I talk to Jake please?" I asked when he picked up.

"Morning Isabelle. He's just coming out of the shower now, just a sec."

"Hey Belle! What's up? I was just getting ready to leave." I was distracted for a minute, knowing that he was probably answering in a towel…

"Hey Jake. Umm… I got kind of sick from my medication, and I just wanted to warn you so that you could have time to go into work if you wanted. I'm pretty gross."

"Are you still staying home today?"

"Yeah, Charlie doesn't want me going in after last night."

"Do you not want to see me?"

"I didn't say that-"

"Then I'll be over in a little bit. You can sleep, or I can hold your hair for you while you throw up. Love you!"

I sighed. "Love you too. See you soon I guess." I hung up, and went back to my bed.

* * *

Charlie was saying good bye an hour later, saying he would call my school for me. My stomach felt completely fine now, but I felt gross and my hand was even worse than yesterday. I would make sure to eat something first this time. Before I could even hop in the shower though, Jake was knocking on the front door. Sighing, I went down and let him in. He leaned in to hug me, but I stopped him delicately.

"Mind if I hop in the shower first?"

"Not at all, I'll go watch some TV," he said, making himself at home. I smiled in relief, and ran upstairs.

I felt much more human after washing my hair and brushing my teeth. I got dressed as quickly as I could with one hand, giving up on the button of my jeans and putting on a nice pair of silky pyjama shorts and a tank top. I couldn't really do much with my hair, so I just brushed it then left it alone before heading downstairs.

"You want a bowl of cereal or something?" I asked him. He smiled when he saw me, jumping up to his feet and kissing me before he could answer. "Nah, I'm fine."

I decided against cereal, and just stuck to some toast and peanut butter. I kicked Jake out of the kitchen when he tried to butter my toast for me. Watching him walk out with that dejected expression, I immediately felt remorseful. With a sigh, I chased after him.

"I'm sorry Jake, I didn't mean to be a such a bitch. My hand is killing me and it's driving me crazy, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you," I gave him my best pouty face and watched him melt.

"It's okay, I didn't take it personally," he said with an easy smile. I think I just got played. "I don't think I've ever heard you swear like that before, Embry and Paul are bad influences on you. Is your stomach feeling better enough to take something?"

It was, so after I finished my toast I took _one_, and was relieved when I didn't feel sick afterwards. My stomach did feel oddly jittery though, and my head was fuzzy. I also couldn't seem to keep my hands off of Jacob, not that he minded.

"God Isabelle, these shorts look so sexy on you," he mumbled as he left a trail of kisses down my neck.

"Your shirt would look sexy on my floor," I replied, startling him and making myself burst into giggles. God, why couldn't I stop laughing? He gave me a look to see how serious I was, and I gave him the moist pointed look I could muster while I tried to swallow my laughter. With a brilliant smile, he grabbed the back collar of his shirt with is right hand, yanking it off and tossing it onto the floor. Why did guys always take their shirts off like that? I didn't really care, it was so hot seeing his arm muscles bulge like that when he did. I slid my good hand up that arm, needing to feel it for myself to make sure it was real. Moving up over his shoulder slowly, I wrapped my arm around the back of his neck, using him to steady myself as I threw one leg over his lap and straddled him. I took one short moment to appreciate the surprised look on his face while sliding my palm over his sculpted stomach. I saw him shiver, something I don't think I've ever seen him do before, and I leaned in to kiss him.

It only took him a few seconds to compose himself before he replied enthusiastically. His lips were hot and hungry against mine, his hands were playing with the hem of my shirt. I slid my hand on top of his, moving it under my shirt and onto my ribs.

It was like throwing gasoline onto a fire, his reaction was instant. Gripping tightly onto my waist, hands hot on my skin, he flipped me onto my back on the couch, pinning me underneath him. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist, and could feel him between us. His lips moved from my mouth to my jaw and down my neck as I gasped for air, and I took the opportunity to pull off my shirt.

He pulled away then, but I tethered myself to him tightly with my legs. He took in my form beneath him, me lying back against the couch in my lavender silk shorts and a black bra. The hungry look in his eyes made me squirm.

"Belle, we shouldn't-"

"We don't have to _do_ anything. But can't we enjoy this?" He frowned slightly, sending a painful shock through my heart and making me doubt myself. I slowly wrapped my arms across my chest in embarrassment. "I'm sorry." I leaned up to reach for my shirt. "I don't want you to do anything you don't want to-"

I gasped as he pushed me back down onto the couch, his lips crashing against mine once more. I left out a small moan as his hands slid over my chest and down my stomach. Then I bit onto his lower lip lightly.

The groan he let out made me shiver in desire. I watched the top of his head as he slid away from my mouth, kissing along my neck, my collar bone, over the curve of my breast along my bra. His hands were sliding up and down the outside of my thighs. I watched in wonder as my nails dug into his shoulders, leaving angry red welts that healed and disappeared in seconds. My legs relaxed their hold on him as he slid down further, kissing my stomach, the curve of my hip bone…

Then my stomach growled hungrily.

We both started laughing, me more out of frustration as he sat up and pulled away. I watched him watch me as my breathing slowed back down to normal with a very satisfied look on his face. Indulging him, I stretched out longly and slowly before sitting up.

"Hungry?" I asked him in an easy tone.

"Starving." He slapped my butt lightly as I got up and walked over to the kitchen, making me laugh.

He watched me with a fascinated smile as I prepared us some lunch in my bra and shorts. I felt too warm to bother putting my shirt back on. "This has to be the sexiest thing I've seen in my life," he said as I set a giant bowl of mac and cheese on the table in front of him, making me blush and smile simultaneously. He washed our dished afterwards, I couldn't get my cast wet, and we went back to the living room and curled up on the couch together again. With a full stomach, and surrounded by his warmth, I felt very sleepy. He held me in his arms, playing with my messy hair as I started to drift off. It felt nice.

"I hope we can have more days like this, once school finishes," I said sleepily.

"We will. We'll have an entire summer of them. I promise."

I wanted more than a summer. I wanted a lifetime.

* * *

Since my shopping trip had gotten cut short the other weekend, I didn't get a chance to get an outfit for my grad. Not even bothering to argue with Charlie and Jacob, I was now pulling past the city limits of Port Angeles in Billy's truck, nestled in between Leah and Jacob. Jake dropped us off at the store I wanted to go to, giving me a quick kiss and saying that he needed to go pick something up somewhere.

Leah has been excited enough during the drive up, but now seemed tense as she stood protectively beside me, a serious expression on her face as she seemed to be trying to look in every direction at once. I was immediately suspicious, and a little irritated.

"What's wrong Leah?" I asked in a neutral tone, having a fair idea already.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm shopping, we're having fun."

"Cut the shit Leah. Jacob's making you watch me, isn't he?"

"He's not _making_ me do anything," she said with a scowl. I gave her a look, and she sighed. "I'm sorry Belle, but you're my sister. I know you don't like to talk about your private conversations with Jake, but this doesn't just affect him. It affected all of us. There are no words to describe how angry we all were, without freaking you out anyways. I'm sorry, I just can't help it."

"Don't apologize. I know your heart is in the right place. But you only saw it from Jacob's view, and he's too biased. He barely touched me Leah. I held my own, and pretty much kicked both of their asses, as hard as that may be to believe. I think you would have been proud of me if you had been there." I tried to offer her a reassuring smile, happy that it seemed to have a calming effect on her.

"If I had been there, I would have crushed their skulls," she said with a laugh, visibly more relaxed. "And I wouldn't have hurt myself doing it either."

I smacked her in the arm with my cast habitually, wincing and making her laugh again.

"So, were you going to come?" I asked, trying to play it cool as I started flipping through the racks of clothes.

"To your Grad? Is that okay?"

"Of course. You don't have to though, it will probably be really boring."

"No, I'd love to. Thanks."

I ended up getting another dress, falling in love with a little black one that I found. It was cute yet conservative, that had small capped sleeves and ended just a couple inches above my knees. It had a delicate laced material that covered the entire thing. It had a zipper in the back though, and I had to get Leah to zip it up for me, to my embarrassment.

When I called her over, I caught her admiring a pretty sundress longingly. It was white and covered in a pattern of giant yellow sunflowers. It would look so beautiful on her. When she stopping guarding me for a couple of minutes to use the washroom, I took my chance and rang it though the cash with my own, hiding the bag inside my other one. She was even worse at accepting gifts than I was; the only ones I didn't mind were the little home-made gifts that Jacob gave me. I knew Leah didn't have much money though, her biggest source of income were the deer that she sold to the local butcher on the reservation, and she deserved something pretty. She didn't suspect a thing when she returned.

After Jake picked us up again, we grabbed a couple of burgers to eat on the drive back.

"So, I'll see you on Friday?" I asked as he slid out of the truck to let me out. He lifted me out of the seat easily, and kissed me before setting me on my feet.

"Definitely. Pick you up at six?"

"Sounds good. Here Leah, this is for you," I whipped the bag at her, and ran inside before she could say anything.

* * *

I'm glad that they let out classes early today; it's not easy doing your hair with one hand.

I did manage to tape on my own garbage bag though, with some help from my teeth. After a very long shower, shaving my legs carefully, and lathering myself in moisturizing lotion, it took me almost two hours to get my hair smooth and straight. I had to alternate between blowing it and combing it, and after that there wasn't much that I could do with it. Luckily, the dress was easy to put on, I just had to slip it on over my head. I managed to painfully clasp Charlie's necklace, and after doing up my shoes I was completely exhausted. My hands shook as I tried to put on a little bit of mascara. I hated the stuff, but it had been a gift from Angela.

After all of my effort, I had to admit; I looked pretty good. Charlie must have gotten off of work a little early, because it was only a quarter to when I heard the front door close.

Suddenly, I became more aware of the reality of what I was about to do. This wasn't who I was, and now I felt kind of ridiculous. I wish I had taken more time to practice walking in these shoes. Charlie knocked on my door after a couple of minutes, and I took a little too long to answer it.

"Bells… Wow. You clean up good kid," he said a little awkwardly. He gave me a questioning look. "How did you get that necklace on with one hand?"

"Dedication and determination," I told him seriously. He shook his head in exasperation, and the doorbell rang.

"I'll get that. Give us a couple minutes will you?"

"It would take longer than that to maneuver down the stairs in these stilts," I mumbled. After he left, I circled around my room to make sure I had my balance. I let myself indulge in one exasperated sigh before grabbing my black clutch and leaving my room.

Charlie was clicking away on my digital camera before I even had him in my sight. I felt like a classic high school kid in some cheesy movie as I walked down the stairs, and I kept my right hand hidden behind my back so my cast wouldn't ruin the pictures. I kept my eyes firmly glued to those dangerous stairs, but I could feel Jacob's gaze on me. With only four steps left, I couldn't help looking up at him.

He was wearing a white dress shirt, with black slacks, a black tie and new dress shoes. I didn't know if I had ever seen him look so handsome before. The smile that he was wearing gave my stomach butterflies.

Thoroughly distracted by that breath-taking smile, I missed a step. He caught me easily before I hit the ground, and sat me gently on my feet.

"Belle… You look so beautiful that it's almost painful to look," he whispered thickly into my ear, making me giggle. God, when had I turned into such a girly girl? But I knew I would do absolutely anything to make Jacob smile.

"You don't look so bad yourself." I whispered back with a smile, feeling more like myself. He laughed.

"Okay kids, let me get a couple of the two of you together," Charlie asked excitedly. My smile was completely genuine as Jacob stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. Charlie even laughed while snapping a picture of him lifting me a foot and a half off of the ground to easily kiss me. I knew that it was common for a lot of parents not to like their child's significant other, and it always made me happy to know that Charlie completely approved of our relationship. Not only did he like Jacob, had known him his entire life, but it must make him happy to know that his daughter was dating his best friend's son. Before we left, Jacob fastened a beautiful white rose corsage onto my cast with a grin, then led me out to his car.

"I shouldn't have let Angela convince me to where these shoes. I'm going to end up killing the both of us in them tonight." Even with the high heels, Jacob was still more than a foot taller than me.

"Remind me to thank her," he said, giving me a full look-over with an extremely pleased expression on his face, but he saw my actual fear when he looked into my eyes. "You'll be find Belle. You won't be able to fall, because I won't let go of you for a second." I could tell he was being completely serious from the tone of his voice.

It was a wonderful evening. Jacob held to his promise and didn't leave my side for a moment. We had sat at a table with Angela, Ben, Mike, Jess, Tyler and Lauren for dinner. Neither of us could really dance, but I was completely happy as he held me while we swayed around in small circles. It got really warm in the crowded gym, so we went and sat outside to cool off.

"So, did you want to go to that after party at Jessica's?" he asked teasingly. I laughed.

"Not in the slightest, but I don't want to go home yet either." He was fidgeting with his tie uncomfortably, so I loosened it and took it off for him.

"Thanks. Whoever invented those things had a cruel and unusual mind. It's Friday, so there's probably a bonfire on the beach tonight if you want to go there for a bit."

I did, and was glad to leave a little early. Angela seemed relieved too, and left shortly after us.

I didn't bother getting changed, and we just drove straight to the beach. Surprisingly, there was no fire, but I didn't mind. The sky was clear, and the stars looked so beautiful. I curled up on Jacob's lap, apparently he "didn't want the sand to ruin my dress." As if I needed an excuse.

"So, I've saved enough money this year from work to get by comfortably through the summer. I was thinking of giving the Newtons my two weeks' notice. What do you think?"

"I would never ask you to quit your job for me, but I would love the extra time with you," he told me, kissing my hair.

"So you wouldn't mind?"

He laughed. "Why would I mind?"

"I just don't want to come off as too clingy," I admitted shyly, making him laugh even harder.

"Belle, I think of you every second of every day. Every moment that you're not in my arms is painful to me, and I would gladly spend the rest of my life glued to your side. If anyone in this relationship is clingy, it's me. I could never spend too much time with you."

Those words made my heart race and filled me with joy. I shifted in his lap to look at him, and he seemed slightly embarrassed by his confession. I laid my hand on his cheek, and stared into his eyes as I spoke.

"I feel the same way Jacob. No one could ever love someone as much as I love you."

He relaxed again as he smiled. "There's one exception to that," he told me. My smile was interrupted by his lips."I can't quit my job, I need the hours for my apprenticeship, but I can take some time off. Maybe we could go camping for a week when you're finished with your job?"

A whole week alone with my Jacob? There was no way I'd turn that down. "I would love that. I've never gone camping before though."

"It's okay, I have. I'll even be nice and take you to an actual campground so you'll have running water for showers and whatnot, even though I don't consider that _real_ camping. We can go hiking, canoeing, swimming…" We got excited making plans together, and I let him know that the running showers and toilets would be a necessity.

Before I knew it, Jake had checked his watch and told me that it was one in the morning. "I should probably take you back, or Charlie's going to think my intentions weren't pure tonight," he said with a smile.

I begrudgingly complied, and it was hard to say goodbye to him, knowing that I wouldn't see him again until Sunday.

* * *

I slept in Saturday morning, knowing that I didn't have any homework to do. There were only two days left of school, and they would be empty and boring. I took some time to write out my letter of resignation neatly. I was going to have to buy a laptop or something before I went to University.

Mrs. Newton was sad to receive it, but was very supportive about it. She had gotten a lot of resumes from kids looking for summer jobs, so it wouldn't be too hard to find a replacement.

It was a slow day, and I occupied the time by slowly sweeping the isles, looking for things I might need for camping. I picked out a comfortable hiking pack, a good sleeping bag and a flashlight. I decided at the last moment that I should probably bring a small first aid kit; Jacob couldn't catch me every time, no matter how hard he tried.

"Going camping?" Mike asked me as he rang through my things. His voice sounded a little surly.

"Yep, in a couple of weeks. Going to go on a little vacation. Are you excited about tomorrow?"

His expression changed to a happier one. "Hell yes! We're finally done, it's kind of hard to wrap your mind around, you know?"

"Yeah, I do. Well I need to get home, see you tomorrow!"

"G'nite Isabelle!"

* * *

I woke up at four, and couldn't get back to sleep, so I decided to just take a shower and start getting ready. Charlie could excuse me this once. I once again took a ridiculous amount of time to make my hair look nice. By the time I was done, Charlie had already taken his shower and was downstairs having breakfast. I put on my black dress, and was stumped when I remembered the zipper. _Damn_. I put on a hoodie over it, not wanting to get it dirty with breakfast, grabbed my cap, my gown and sash, and a pair of black flats before heading downstairs.

"Morning Bells. You were up early this morning. Too excited to sleep?"

"Yeah, it was probably a good thing though; it takes a lot longer to do your hair when you can only use one hand." I poured myself a bowl of cereal, and sat down at the table with him.

"Oh yeah, I didn't think about that. Will you be ready to go after your breakfast?"

I nodded. I ate quickly, washed my bowl, and was ready to go.

"Are you wearing that sweater?" He asked curiously. I sighed, and took it off.

"I was having trouble with the zipper, do you think you could?"

"Uh, okay. Sure." He said awkwardly, and zipped it up quickly. "You look nice Bells."

"Thanks Charlie."

He made me lend him my digital camera, and after I handed it to him we left. It didn't take long to get to the school, but the parking lot was packed. We found a spot, and went inside, where we had to split up.

"Good luck kid."

"Thanks."

I went and joined all of the other students, and Angela helped me tie up my gown and get my hat to stay on. They had us standing in the hot room for almost an hour and a half for some reason, and she mercifully also put my hair into a neat bun for me. Finally they got us all into alphabetical order and had us file through the isle between the chairs of the guests in the gym before directing us into our seats. I caught a quick glance of Charlie snapping pictures like crazy, and behind him were Jake and Leah. I smiled and gave them a little wave as I passed.

I'm not sure what I had really expected afterwards, but I didn't feel any different. The only part of the ceremony that had my attention was Angela's speech, and she did an excellent job. The hot, crowded gym had made me drowsy though, and when the principal had called out my name, the person next to me had to nudge me with their elbow. There were a few muffled laughs when I almost tripped over the last stair onto the platform, and my face went beat red when Charlie, Jacob and Leah cheered for me.

When everyone else threw their hats up into the air, I only threw mine lightly, making sure I was able to catch it again. This was the only school that really mattered to me, and I wanted to keep this as a memento.

Jacob beat Charlie to me, picking me up and giving me a tight hug before passing me over.

"I'm so proud of you Isabelle. Congratulations," Charlie said with tears in his eyes. He really did see me as his daughter.

"Thanks, Dad."

He really started crying then, and if he hadn't had that enormous smile on his face I would have felt bad. A few people gave us some weird looks as he hugged me again, and held onto me for a while. I didn't mind, it was nice feeling so loved. When he let me go, he sent me off to say goodbye to my classmates before we left. Jacob held my hand, and didn't leave my side the entire time. I didn't have many to say goodbye to, Angela and Ben were the only people I actually hung out with outside of school, but I congratulated her and complimented her on her speech before telling her to call me to hang out soon.

"Hey, we have to attend to something on the Rez real quick, but we'll come over a bit later, okay?" Jake said. I nodded, and he gave me a kiss before the two of them ran off. It took me about fifteen minutes to find Charlie afterwards, he had been talking to the principal.

"You ready to go kid?"

"Yup, Jake and Leah had to leave though. Is it okay if they come over later?"

"Yeah, sure." He said. I wished the principal a happy summer, and followed my Dad out to his cruiser. "So, how does it feel to be a high school graduate?" He asked me with a big smile.

"I don't feel any different," I admitted to him. "But I'm happy to know that I have a complete two months all to myself. I'll probably get an early start on my work for University though." The thought of buying new textbooks got me all excited.

"Why didn't you tell me that the principal asked you to be the valedictorian?"

That traitor! He said he wouldn't tell anyone. "I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Besides, Angela deserved it more, it meant more to her than it would have to me."

He nodded in understanding, but didn't make a big deal of it, and I relaxed as we pulled into the driveway. I hopped out of the car, and walked up to the door beside Charlie, who waved me in.

I kicked off my shoes, and then went to walk through the living room to get to the kitchen. I flicked on the light, why were all the blinds closed?

"SURPRISE!" Shouted a room full of people, and I screamed the loudest, most girly scream I've ever made. Jacob ran forward and caught me before I could collapse, and everyone laughed.

The room was packed; the entire pack was there, along with Billy, Sue, Harry, Emily and Claire. There were balloons everywhere, and a Giant banner that said "Congratulations Isabelle." It took me a few minutes to calm my breathing back to normal, and I felt my eyes start to tear up. No one had ever thrown a party for me before. Charlie moved us all outside, it was another beautiful day, and fired up the barbeque. There were all sorts of folding tables and lawn chairs scattered around the yard, and Sue and Emily started bringing out all sorts of food. Charlie fired up the barbeque, getting ready to make a feast of hotdogs and hamburgers.

Everyone took a couple of minutes to come up and congratulate me, and I gave each and every one of them a hug when I thanked them.

"Auntie Izzy!" Claire yelled when she got close to me, and I picked her up to give her a hug. She handed me a card, it was covered in scribbles of different colors of crayon.

"Did you make this?" I asked her, and she smiled excitedly. "I absolutely love it Claire! Thank you so much. I'll treasure it always." She laughed and gave me a big hug.

"Auntie Izzy, whas wong wif your hand?" She asked me, voice filled with concern.

I leaned in to whisper in her ear. "A boy was being mean to me, so I punched him in the face," I told her honestly. She looked at me in astonishment, and then burst into giggles.

It was a wonderful evening, I spent most of the time sitting in between Jake and Charlie while everyone talked and laughed together. I told Claire that she could decorate my cast, and she spent most of the evening covering it in different colors before she eventually fell asleep on me. I loved her so much, just like she really was my own niece. I looked over at Jacob, who was watching me with a strange smile on his face. I could see myself with him in another ten years, sitting together on a porch and watching our own children play. I wanted it so badly, to spend the rest of my life with this man who taught me to love again. I wanted to have his children, to grow old with him and take care of him, to spend every day of the rest of my life trying to make him smile.

"I have a gift for you," he said, breaking my train of thought. He saw my alarm. "Don't worry, it's just another little home-made trinket, nothing big." He smiled at me, and took my hand to put a small bag in it.

"Wow, it's beautiful Jake," I said, looking at the small leather pouch. It had an intricate bead design on it that looked like a sun. It reminded me of Jacob, my own personal sun here on this planet. Jacob laughed.

"It's not the bag, it's what's inside it." I gently loosened the tie around the bag, and carefully shook out its contents onto the table. Mesmerized, I set the bag down and picked up the tiny wolf to inspect it more closely.

The wood was the same russet color as Jacob's skin, the same color that his wolf was. It looked just like him, only much, much smaller. The details on it were so life-like, I wouldn't have been surprised if it just ran off or started howling. "Now, no matter where you are, you'll always have a reminder of me to take with you."

"Jacob… It's amazing, thank you." I didn't have any more words, but I leaned over, careful not to wake up Claire, and he leaned down to meet my lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

It was weird waking up on Thursday, and not having anything to do. I didn't work until four, so I spent the entire day scrubbing the house from top to bottom. I cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen, then vacuumed all of the floors before mopping them. I washed the windows, inside and out, and dusted every shelf and surface. The house had gotten hot around noon, so I opened up all of the windows while I worked. I finished with over an hour to spare, giving me plenty of time to have a shower. I paused before going upstairs; even in the small town of Forks, I knew better than to just leave an easy entrance to an intruder while I was otherwise occupied. So I made sure to close and lock each and every one of them before rushing upstairs.

As I was taping my garbage bag to my hand, I thought about how excited I was to get it taken off. The breaks hadn't been too bad, so I was supposed to get more x-rays done after three weeks. Hopefully I can convince him to let me get away with a brace instead. Only three more days.

I felt like a completely new person after my shower, and couldn't believe how much of a workout it had been to do all that cleaning. I was starving, so I brushed my hair, got dressed quickly and ran downstairs to get something to eat.

I got to work just in time, and was happy that it was raining because I had forgotten to water my garden. It was a pretty busy evening; a lot of people seemed to be getting ready to go camping, and I even saw a few students from my graduating class come through. I barely made it to my bed before falling asleep.

Friday was the same as yesterday, but now I didn't have the option of cleaning to occupy myself. Jacob worked until five, and it was pouring rain outside. I went and checked the fridge, and we were running low on just about everything after that party, so I grabbed some money from the food jar and decided to go out into the rain and do some shopping.

It was very relaxing knowing that I didn't have to hurry to be somewhere, and I took my time wandering around the isles. I planned out a few meals, got everything that I needed and a few other things, and went back home. It was still early in the morning when I finished putting everything away, and not wanting to wait another seven hours to see Jacob, I decided that I would bring some lunch to him at work.

I fried up a couple chicken breasts, boiled some pasta, and made a nice pasta salad with some pesto and peppers. It was a quarter after eleven, so I got changed into a pair of shorts and a light grey tank top before running out to my car. It was just too hot for a coat, the humidity was thick in the air, and I ended up getting soaked. I had been living in Forks for seven months, and I still didn't own an umbrella. There was definitely something wrong with me.

It took me a little while to get to the reservation and find his work. My truck wasn't easy to miss, so I knew he must have heard me pull into the parking lot. He jogged over with a big smile, and hopped into my truck.

He leaned over and kissed me right away. "Hey babe, this is an awesome surprise. What's up?"

I was happy that he wasn't annoyed with me for showing up like this. "Nothing, I just missed you, and thought I'd bring you by some lunch." His smile got impossibly bigger when I handed him the container, and he thanked me before digging in.

I noticed a man peeking through the window of the shop at us every few minutes. "I hope I'm not getting you into trouble," I said uneasily.

"Don't worry about Neal," Jake said over a mouthful of food. "He's probably just jealous that I'm sitting in a car with a pretty girl who can cook." He winked at me, making me laugh. I made a note to bring an extra dish for his boss next time.

"Thanks Belle, you made my day," he said when he finished, slumping back in the seat.

"So you really don't mind me surprising you like this?" I just wanted to be sure.

"Not at all, you can come by every day if you want. I'm always glad to see you." _Maybe I will_. He leaned in and kissed me gently.

"Okay, just checking. So I'll head over with Charlie tonight after he gets home from work."

He made the most adorable pouting face, making my heart melt. "I don't know if I can wait another five and a half hours." I took in his dirty jeans, oil splattered work boots and black t-shirt. It was really hot, I loved him like this.

"I don't either, I'll probably have to bake something just to kill the time," I said, knowing it was the best way to get him to let me leave, even if I didn't want him to. Sure enough, his face lit up.

"Okay, I guess I'll survive," he said dramatically, before kissing me again. When he went to pull away, I leaned into him so his lips didn't break away from mine. I wasn't finished yet. He didn't seem to mind me drawing that kiss out for a few minutes, before I finally pulled away. He had a dazed look on his face.

"Okay, get back to work. I'll see you tonight."

"Love you Belle," he said as he opened up the door.

"Love you too."

* * *

I made a double batch of peanut butter cookies when I got back. It was a small oven, and I could only cook a dozen at a time, so it took a couple hours. I set them all out to cool, washed my dishes, and then went to grab another shower. I felt like I was covered in oil after baking all afternoon.

After brushing my wet hair, I just twisted it and put it into a hair clamp. It was really humid out, so I picked out something cool to wear. I settled for a denim skirt that I had never worn before, and a dark purple tank.

I sat in my room and read for the rest of the afternoon until Charlie got home. I packed up my cookies in a big Tupperware container while he took his time getting changed, and was ready and waiting for him by the door when he came down.

The air conditioning in the car felt amazing, and if Jacob hadn't been waiting for me I might not have been able to get out. Their house was cooler than ours, with all of the windows opened and being mostly shaded by the trees. We walked in and I went to sit the plate of cookies in the kitchen for later. Jacob tried to sneak up behind, but I was always able to tell when he was near. That same magnetic force that I had felt since the first time I met him only grew stronger over time. I didn't even think I was crazy anymore, my boyfriend was a shape shifter after all; it wouldn't be the strangest thing if I had some sort of weird alert system in my brain. When I felt him almost touching me, I spun around really quickly, making him jump in surprise. I laughed, and almost jumped into his arms, knowing that he would catch me. He did, and lifted me higher to kiss me without hunching over. He held me there, and I smiled, loving the feeling of my feet dangling underneath me.

He easily threw me over his shoulder, grabbed a handful of cookies, and walked over to the living room and dumped me on the couch. I didn't bother telling him to wait until after dinner, knowing that they couldn't ruin _his_ appetite.

Billy ordered some pizzas, and as usual they got extremely absorbed in their football game.

"So, are we still up for next weekend? I was thinking we could go down to Mount Rainier."

"Umm… I still haven't asked Charlie yet," I said nervously.

"Hey Charlie, mind if I take Belle camping next week?" He asked easily. I felt my heart rate speed up.

"How many tents you got?" He asked, barley looking away from the TV.

"Two."

"Sure, okay then." I stared at him in disbelief, Jacob was smiling.

"There, no problem," he said proudly, making me laugh. "So, when's your last day?"

"Thursday. We could leave Saturday morning, how far away is it?"

"Almost a five hour drive."

As the air got cooler, I snuggled closer to Jacob while we made travelling plans. It got late, and I made plans to see him again on Sunday afternoon.

* * *

My first week as a high school graduate was very relaxing. It was brightened by the fact that my hand was finally free. The Doctor said it was healed enough that I could go with a just brace for the next couple weeks, as long as I was careful. I spent my time reading and playing in my vegetable garden, and got into the habit of bringing lunch to Jake everyday just for a chance to see him for a few minutes. Neal ended up giving him longer lunch breaks too once I started bringing him lunch also. I only worked twice, but on the nights that I didn't I would cook dinner for my Dad and hang out with Jacob. I hung out with Angela once during the week, she was keeping very busy with her work, trying to save as much money as she could over the summer.

I was a little sad on my last day working for the Newtons. It was the longest I had ever had a job, seven months, and I had grown quite attached to them. Mrs. Newton even gave me a hug when I left that night, and I assured her that I would see them again; it wasn't a very big town.

So now I was sitting in my room, all of my stuff scattered around me on my floor, trying to decide on the most efficient way to pack my things for tomorrow. We would be gone for over a week, and the weather was promising to stay warm, even if it might be wet, so I packed mostly lighter clothes. They conveniently took up less space too. Besides, even if it did get cold, I had my own personal space heater.

Charlie walked by my room, laughing when he took in the scene in front of him.

"I don't think I've ever seen your room look messy before," he said with a grin. "You excited for tomorrow?"

"I am," I told him happily. "I've never been on a vacation before." He gave me a bit of a sad look, and I pretended not to see it. "You sure you don't mind?"

"Yeah, you guys are practically adults now, and I trust both of you. Besides, I know Jacob would never let anything happen to you. I'm pretty sure he would jump in front of a bullet for you without even thinking about it."

I thought he was right, but I didn't want to think of Jacob being hurt like that, it was too painful. Even knowing that he would heal quickly, the thought that there were worse things out there than crazy people with guns made my stomach feel queasy

Charlie wished me a goodnight, and an hour later I finished my packing, and made myself try to get a little sleep. My worrisome thoughts seemed to stalk me into my subconscious.

_I was on the beach eating tomatoes for some reason. Charlie was sitting across from me in full uniform, and Jacob was beside me, in his wolf form. I was curious, yet happy to see that Charlie wasn't bothered by it. Charlie was talking to us, but I was distracted by another man walking down the beach._

_His features were blurry, but his skin looked almost grey like cement. He walked towards us, his dark red eyes locked onto mine the entire time. When the others noticed, they both jumped in front of me. The man made an odd gesture with his hand, mimicking a gun, and pointed it at Charlie who immediately fell over. I yelled for Jake to stop, but he was already gone, and the monster snapped his neck like he was a stuffed animal. I screamed and screamed, but we were all alone now. He smiled at me as his hands wrapped around my throat, and two long fangs stretched out of his canines._

**Thanks for Reading!  
From now on I will be posting a Chapter every Friday. Until then, take care!  
**


	8. Chapter Eight: Summer

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Warning: Rated M, ****Contains mature subject matter.  
**

**Chapter Eight :: Summer**

"Isabelle! It's okay sweetheart, just wake up." It took me a couple seconds to realize that I was being shaken, and my eyes shot open.

Charlie was sitting on the edge of my bed, both hands on my shoulders. He seemed to relax once I registered that it was him. I sighed in relief as I lunged forward and hugged him. He awkwardly patted my back.

"Shh, it was just a bad dream, you're fine."

I realized I had been crying, and hastily pulled away to swipe at my tears. I couldn't even remember what I had been dreaming about, just that it had scared me more than anything, and that I had been worried about Charlie and Jacob.

"Sorry Charlie, I didn't mean to wake you. I'm fine."

He didn't really look like he believed me, but nodded anyways and went back to his room. I looked at the clock, and it was already six. Jake wouldn't be over for another two hours, so I decided to just get up and take my time getting ready, and enjoying the last good shower that I would probably have for a week.

Jacob was right on time as usual, and I gave Charlie a hug before we left. Jacob was able to fit my pack into his trunk with his own, even with the two tents that he had in there and all of his supplies. The back seat of his car was occupied by a big cooler.

We had beautiful weather for the drive, it was bright and sunny and there was a beautiful cool breeze coming in from the west. I knew Jake's car was easier on gas than my truck, but I would have preferred to have taken it just so I could slide across the bench and sit closer to him. Like he was reading my mind, he reached over and took my hand, lifting it up to his mouth and kissing it without looking away from the busy road. He rested his elbow on the center console, and didn't let my hand go.

We stopped in the town closest to the park to stock up on food before we went to the campground. We took our time strolling through the aisles and grabbing everything that we wanted, and got a bunch of ice to keep everything cold on the way out.

I was a little disappointed at first while Jacob left me in the car to go check in. The trees in the area were sparse, and it didn't seem like there was much privacy in the area. I could tell what he meant now when he had said that this wasn't 'real' camping. My opinion changed though, as we drove almost fifteen minutes deep into the campground. As we got further, the trees got thicker, and the number of tents that I could see decreased. We ended up in a small, isolated lot deep in the trees right up against the river. The lot was half covered in sand, half in grass, and was about the size of Charlie's small living room, decorated only with a wooden picnic table and a small metal fire pit. It looked like the inside barrel of a washing machine.

I smiled. This was _perfect_, exactly what I had wanted. I didn't even mind the fact that an outhouse was the only closest toilet. I'd have to walk about twenty minutes to get to the showers.

Jacob patiently let me help set up the tent, smiling the entire time. I had never done it before, and was eager to learn how. He thought it was a little ironic that I had worked in a sporting goods store for so long and had never set up a tent. Mike had always enjoyed setting up the displays, so I never tried to take the enjoyment of the task away from him.

I stood back and proudly admired the final result, barely noticing when Jake went and grabbed the second tent out of the car.

"What are you doing?" I asked him in surprise.

"Setting up the other tent?" He said it almost like a question.

"I thought that was just a ruse to pacify Charlie. You don't want to share one?"

It took him a minute to formulate a reply. "I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything…"

"I don't mind. Besides, who would protect me if a bear came into our camp?" I gave him a big smile. "But if you don't want to, it's okay," I said knowingly. He smiled, and tossed the extra tent back into the trunk.

I set up our beds in the tent while Jake hung a tarp over the picnic table and finished unloading the car. He emptied everything from the trunk into the backseat, so we could use it to safely store the food from any wildlife that might roam into the camp. I helped him collect some tinder to help start the fire, and he showed me how to build it properly and let me light it myself. I felt accomplished today, setting up a tent and starting a fire for the first time. It was one of the many things I loved about Jacob; instead of just doing things for me, he would just show me how to do it and let me try it myself. I hated being babied.

The sun had already gone down, and we sat together cooking hotdogs by the fire. I had two, and Jake finished off the pack and opened up a big bag of chips. We spent the night planning what we would do for the week, and we decided that tomorrow we'd go canoeing for the day. I had no idea what time it was, I didn't really care because it wasn't like our schedule was time sensitive, but I was having trouble hiding my yawns. I was absolutely exhausted, and started drifting off while my head was resting on his arm.

I woke up when Jake got up to kick some sand over our small fire, and I went into the tent to get changed. I put on a comfy pair of shorts and had just slipped on a tank top when he unzipped the tent door and crawled inside. I turned around slightly to brush my hair while he got changed into a pair of shorts, and was trying to get it into a ponytail. I sighed in frustration when I couldn't do it. My hand just couldn't close on it tightly enough, and was sore from the effort of trying.

"Here, let me," Jacob said easily, taking my hair elastic. He ran his hands lightly through my hair, and easily put it into a neat ponytail.

"Wow, you're really good at that," I told him, surprised. He just shrugged.

"I used to have really long hair, so I've had plenty of practice." I smiled, remembering the picture he had showed me from before he had first phased.

I curled up in my sleeping bag and got comfy, while Jacob just lied down on top of his. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out.

* * *

I woke up again in the middle of the night. The temperature had dropped, and the tent was freezing, even with Jake inside of it. I looked over at him next to me.

Despite my habit of drifting off and falling asleep around him, I had never seen Jake sleep before. His face was so relaxed, and I think he must have been having a good dream because I could almost see the corner of his mouth pulling up into a small smile. His bare chest rose and fell with his slow breathing, and he had one arm bent and resting behind his head.

Very carefully, as to not wake him, I slid a little bit closer and laid my head on his chest. He didn't wake up, but his arm still wrapped around me habitually, holding me to his side. I wrapped one arm around him, and fell asleep again while listening to the steady sound of his heartbeat.

* * *

When I woke up I was in the exact same spot. There was a bright light filtering in through the fabric of the tent, and Jacob was lightly tracing designs on my back with a finger. I sat up, embarrassed.

"Good morning," he said with his usual smile.

"Sorry, it was just a little cold last night and…"

"Are you seriously apologizing for cuddling up next to me?" He asked in disbelief, then shook his head. "Belle, I don't think I've ever slept so well in my entire life. If I could, I would fall asleep with you in my arms every night."

My embarrassment disappeared, and was replaced by a smile. He was still lying on his back, watching me, so I leaned over and kissed him. I pulled away quickly though, remembering that I hadn't brushed my teeth yet.

"I think I'm going to walk down to the real bathrooms and take a shower," I told him, turning around and opening up my pack. I had a reusable fabric grocery bag in there, and I threw my toiletry bag in there with my sandals and a change of clothes.

"We'll drive down. I'll grab a quick shower too, and leave the car with you while I go rent a canoe." I laughed at his rhyme before I agreed.

There was a bit of a line for the showers, so I brushed and flossed my teeth thoroughly while I waited. The showers weren't great, but I was still thankful for them. I hopped back in the Rabbit when I was done, and drove it back to the campsite.

Jake still wasn't back yet, so I tidied up the tent while I waited, then sat and ate a granola bar on a rock next to the water. It was an amazing view, the water was still and calm, reflecting the big white clouds that filled the sky. In the distance across the river I could see the giant peak of Mount Rainier.

I packed us some food for the day, making almost a dozen sandwiches and cutting up a bunch of fruit, and sat down for another five minutes before I saw Jake come around the corner, paddling his canoe. I had my camera in its water-proof carrying case flung over my shoulder, and I took it out to take a couple pictures as he glided closer to me over the water.

He hopped out of the boat easily when he came up to our campsite, and pulled it halfway up to shore. He walked up to me, putting one of his big hands on the side of my face.

"I didn't get to kiss you properly this morning. It was all I could think about the entire time I was gone," he said seriously. I smiled, sliding my hands over his shoulders and around his neck. His arms wrapped around me tightly, and he leaned down and kissed me.

We both got distracted by that kiss, and held onto it for longer than usual. To be honest, I think I would have been happy to just stand there and kiss him for the rest of the week, I didn't need anything else. When he did straighten up, pulling away, I was reluctant to let him go.

"I should probably pack us some food for the day, so we can stay out a bit longer," he said, walking over to the car.

"Already done," I told him happily, pointing to the small collapsible cooler that was sitting in the shade on the picnic table. I went to go pick it up, but he stopped me and grabbed it himself, saying that he didn't want me to strain my hand. This brace was going to give me an awful tan line. He put the cooler into the canoe, and then came back for me.

He easily swept a hand behind me knees, making me fall into his arms. Laughing, he walked into the water and gently sat me down on one of the seats. He pushed the canoe into the water before hopping in himself.

I _loved_ it. I thought it was so much fun, gliding across the water almost silently. When I asked Jake if I could try paddling, he gave me a thoughtful look, then smiled indulgently when he handed one over.

I didn't get what that was about at first, until I realized how hard it was to hold the long handle properly with only one hand. I couldn't make a fist with the other. He tried not to laugh when I handed it back to him five minutes later.

I still had an excellent time though, watching Jake row the canoe and taking in the breath-taking scenery around us. On one side, we had the tall mountain, and the other side deep green forests. Jake had much better eye sight that I did, and pointed out little details around us that I would have otherwise missed. We saw herrings, deer, bears, even passed a loon on the water. It was so peaceful, nothing but the noise of the oar gently cutting through the water, or a bird calling off in the distance.

It was late afternoon when we found a small hidden sandbank along the shore. We decided to step out and take a break before heading back. Once I heard the light scratch of sand against the bottom of the canoe, he hopped out of the boat and pulled it forward. He came back and lent me a hand getting out of the boat; my legs were a little wobbly. He made sure it wouldn't get pulled back in, and then grabbed the blanket that I had been using as a chair cushion and the cooler.

We sat down on the blanket and had a little picnic. Jake demolished the sandwiches easily, and we lied out in the sun while our food digested. I had my eyes closed, smiling at the tingling sensation that the sun left on my face, so I didn't realize that Jacob had been looking at me. I felt his fingers slid through my hair, melting at the sensation of it, before I heard him speak.

"Your hair looks like gold in the sun," he said quietly. There was so much emotion in those few words that I needed to open my eyes and see his face. He was propped up on one elbow, looking down at me. "You're so beautiful Belle."

I was having trouble reading his expression. I sat up a little worriedly, sliding even closer to him and placing both of my hands gently on his cheeks; I had taken my brace off for a little to let my skin breathe. His eyes almost looked sad. "Jake? What's wrong?"

He seemed to calm slightly at the sound of my voice, and rested one of his hands on top of mine while he smiled "Nothing's wrong Belle. I've never been so happy in my life. We've never gotten to spend time together like this before, and I love it. I love waking up and having you right there next to me, and having you all to myself with no one to share you with. I want every day to be like this. I want it so much that it overwhelms me, and that just scares me a little bit."

I have never once heard Jacob say that he was scared of anything before. I loved this man so much, it was like he was a part of my soul. I needed him like a plant needs the sun to grow, so I understood how over whelming this love could be. I leaned in close to home, our faces only inches apart, as I held his face tightly.

"You don't need to be scared Jacob. I want this every bit as much as you do, I'm not going anywhere." I kissed him lightly on the lips. "I love you. There's nowhere in the world I would rather be than by your side."

"I want this forever though. I don't want to ever let you go," he whispered, eyes for some reason uncertain.

I _was_ certain though. "Then don't." I leaned in again and kissed him harder, and his lips responded instantly. His hand slid around to the back of my neck as I moved on top of him, just needing to be closer. My hands slid into his hair as his slid down my spine. I felt a couple drops of rain on my shoulders, that quickly multiplied. Within minutes it was pouring, and it only made me smile through the kiss, making us both laugh. We didn't stop though, something about the cool rain pouring down our faces just made his heat stand out more, and it triggered something inside of me. I gripped onto him more tightly, and his hands slid down my sides roughly before he pulled me against himself even more firmly. I'm not sure just how long he had held me like that before we heard the quiet rumble of thunder off in the distance. It sent a shiver of excitement through me that was dampened when Jacob pulled away.

"I don't know how bad that storm's going to be, we should probably try to get back. We'll be safe if we stick close to the shore."

I nodded, a little disappointed, and helped him fold up the blanket before we went back to the boat. I regretted it quickly, without being protected by Jacob's warmth, the rain was ice cold. I tried to enjoy the scenery on the way back, but a lot of my concentration was spent on trying to prevent my teeth from chattering. I would have curled up in his lap again, but that would have made it pretty hard for him to row.

I wanted to be next to him so badly though. While Jacob concentrated on directing the canoe, I watched him. I've never wanted anything in the world more than I wanted to be with him. I loved everything about him; He was so strong and powerful, but even more gentle and kind. He was attentive and deep, funny and confident. I wanted everything with him, every single part of him. It was a need so powerful that it was painful.

We got back to our camp in less than half the time. Jacob quickly pulled the boat onto shore, and lifted me out. We both ran over to our tent, getting inside as quickly as we could.

"God Isabelle, you're soaked. I'm so sorry, I should have-"

He was cut off when I practically lunged at him. He was hunched over from the low ceiling of the tent, so it wasn't hard to reach his lips with mine. My arms wrapped around his neck , and one of his wrapped around my waist as he sat down on the air mattress, pulling me down with him. He felt so hot against my cold wet skin, and the closeness seemed to slightly ease the pain of my need for him. Not completely though, I wanted more. He was sitting up with me on top of him, so it wasn't difficult the reach the hem of his wet shirt and start to pull it up. He helped me pull it over his head, and dropped it on the floor. Before he went to reach for me again, I pulled my tank top over my head, throwing it on the floor behind me and smiling at him.

He had a hungry look in his eyes, but his face was uncertain. I kissed him again before he could speak. The feel of his hard stomach pressed up against mine was wonderful. A bolt of lightning flashed close by, lighting up the now dark tent, and the crash of thunder sounded soon after. The sound sent a shiver of desire through my body, and I'm certain that he felt it this time. His hands were everywhere; my hair, my neck, my ribs, my back and my stomach. I didn't want him to ever stop touching me. I couldn't keep mine still either, I loved the feel of his hard muscles underneath them as they slid over his arms, chest and stomach. I liked seeing him shiver as I slid a finger along the edge of his swimming trunks by his hip bone.

His hands paused at the edge of my denim shorts, the only thing that I was wearing over my bikini. His lips gently pulled away a fraction of an inch. "Your shorts are soaking wet Belle."

"Then maybe you should take them off," I whispered back daringly.

He smiled as he turned us around, laying me on my back as he towered over me. He trailed a light finger down my neck, over my chest between my breasts, and down my stomach. That finger easily popped the button on my shorts and slowly unzipped the small zipper. He used both hands, lightly tugging my shorts down, and I lifted my hips off the mattress to make it easier for him. He slid both of those hot hands up my legs, before crawling back over me and kissing me again. I gripped onto both of his arms as he held himself above me, as if he was afraid he would crush me. I wanted to be closer to him though, and he let me push him over and roll back on top of him happily. I laid against him, propping myself up with both of my hands on his chest while I kissed him. One of his hands held onto my side, and the other trailed up to my back. His finger seemed to catch on the sting of my bathing suit top, and he froze for a moment.

I pulled away slightly to look at him, and gave him an encouraging smile. "It's okay Jake. I'm ready."

His eyes went wide at those words, and he pulled back a bit more. "Are you sure Belle? You don't have to do this."

I sat up, and he propped himself up on his elbows. "I know I don't _have_ to Jacob. I _wan_t to." He watched me for a minute, maybe trying to make sure I was serious. I didn't look away from his gaze.

"Only if you're completely sure."

"I am," I tried to say confidently. I was a little nervous, but not enough to change my mind. There was one important thing that I couldn't over-look though. "Do you have any?..."

"I do," he said, his tone uncertain.

Doubt started to nag at me. "Do you not want to?"

He sat up quickly, taking my face in his hands. "Of course I do. More than anything, I just don't want you to regret anything."

"They only things I ever regret with you are the things I don't get to do. I love you Jacob."

His eyes softened as his face relaxed, then changed into something new and he smiled; excitement, and hunger.

I smiled back as he leaned forward and kissed me gently. That kiss slowly grew in strength. His hands wrapped around me again, and this time when one slid up my spine, he tugged on one of the strings of the bow that had tied my bathing suit. It came undone, and his fingers trailed up to the one around my neck and did the same. The top slipped off, and he threw it off to the side.

I paused, nervous again. He pulled back to look deeply into my eyes. He slowly picked me up without breaking that eye contact, and laid me down on my back again. He leaned back, and took a minute to look at me in the dim light. "You're so beautiful," he told me again, and the rough tone of his voice made me more confident. I smiled up at him, and he mirrored that look as he leaned forward to kiss me. His mouth slid over to my jaw. I could feel his breath in my ear, and it made me giggle lightly. His lips traveled down my neck, my collar bone. One of his hands came up and cupped my breast, twisting my nipple slightly before his mouth came down upon it. I gasped at the feeling, and smiled as he switched over to the other one. His tongue flicked out against my hard peaks, his fingers keeping the other occupied. He moved his lips into a slow trail of kisses down my stomach, and I moaned softly as he kissed along my hip bone. I opened my eyes, and met his as he slowly hooked a finder into the waist of my bathing suit shorts and pulled them down.

I lifted my legs when he pulled the trunks up and tossed them behind them, and he caught my ankle with his hand. He trailed his lips up my leg and as he lowered it to one side of him. He paused for the shortest moment, and I felt so exposed; completely naked before him, his face hovering above my mound. He watched my face as he slowly slid one hand all the way up my other leg, and rested his hand gently on my stomach. His other hand slowly stroked down between my folds, parting them. My head fell back as I moaned. He slid that finger, slowly and gently, between my folds, steadily increasing in speed. My breathing became fast as he flicked at my bud, and I squirmed under is touch. His hand pressed down a little more firmly as he held me open with his fingers, and slowly swept his tongue over that sensitive point. I moaned louder in approval, the sound muffled by another crash of thunder. I felt like the electricity was running through Jacob, and traveling right through into me as he flicked me with his tongue. I couldn't stay still; it was too much and not enough.

I felt his face pull away, but his finger was still there taking the place of his tongue once again, and I just couldn't open my eyes. "God, it is so sexy seeing you squirm like that." His finger slid down, then slowly slid inside of me.

"Oh, Jacob!" I had always known that he had big hands, but they felt even bigger inside of me. I felt his tongue at work again as he slowly slid his finger in and out of me. I couldn't take it anymore, I need him.

"Please, Jacob," I said quietly, shuddering from the pleasure. He lifted his head, and met my pleading eyes. God, those eyes were smouldering. Just looking at them sent a new flash of heat through my body. He must have been able to see the need in my eyes, but then again, he always knew what I needed. He stood up slowly, and pulled down his shorts.

I gasped, and he seemed to approve of my reaction as he grinned. He was _very_ proportionate, and I was suddenly very nervous and very excited. I couldn't help smiling back at him. He was breath-taking.

Jacob sank back down to his knees between my legs, and reached into his bag behind him. He looked into my eyes as he put it on, then leaned forward over me again, kissing me passionately. One of his arms was propping himself up on his elbow beside my head, and the other was between us. I slid my hands up onto his broad shoulders. We looked into each other's eyes while he pressed his member against my bud, and slowly slid himself in small circles around it. I gripped onto him a little more tightly. He seemed to ask my permission once more with his eyes, and I nodded.

He slowly slid himself inside of me, moaning loudly as he filled me. I winced when I felt the sharp pain inside me, and even though I had been expecting it, I felt a single tear roll down the side of my face. Jacob stayed very still.

"Are you okay? I can stop," he said, voice filled with concern.

"No, I'm okay. It hurts, but it feels so good," I said, and I could feel myself clenching at him inside of me. He kissed me again, and slowly started to pull out. My nails dug into his shoulders, and my legs wrapped tightly around his waist as he pushed in again.

It hurt less and less, and within minutes there was nothing but pure pleasure. He moved in and out of me with a slowly growing pace, and went deeper and deeper. When my back arched, he slid his free arm underneath me. I wanted him to hold me tighter, to push into me harder, and was pleased when he did. He lifted me off of the ground, and pulled me up against his chest. The new angle brought on a completely new sensation. He held onto my hips tightly with both hands while I gripped tightly onto his arms. He lifted me up and down on top of him, guiding my hips until they found their own rhythm. He gladly let me take over when I wanted to, and I used his shoulders to support myself as I slid up and down him, and rocked my hips when he was deep inside me. My moans came faster and faster, and I could tell that he was close too. One of his fingers slid back between us, lightly pinching my bud, and I shouted out his name as we came at the same time. He pulled out of me, and we both fell back on the mattress, breathing heavily. He rolled over me quickly, and was kissing me everywhere. My face, my neck, my breasts, my stomach. I felt like I had melted, and barely had the energy to move.

"Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere?" Jacob asked me, taking my face in his hands again. I opened my eyes, and smiled happily at him.

"Jacob… that was amazing. I've never felt better in my life," I told him honestly. He smiled in relief and happiness. "Was it… okay for you?"

"Okay is the worst understatement of the century. That was… incredible. Words don't do the feeling justice. I love you so much Isabelle."

"I love you too Jacob."

* * *

I woke up the next morning to the sound of rain pattering the roof of the tent. The air was cool, but my naked body was completely warm curled up against Jacob. I was half on top of him, my head resting just above his heart, and he held me there with his arms wrapped around me. I wanted to sit up to stretch without waking him, but even in his sleep his strength was too much for me. I went to push a little harder against him, and woke him up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," I said shyly. He yawned and sat up as I did. I stretched out my arms happily, popping one of my shoulders. When I opened my eyes, I noticed him watching me with a devilish smile on his face, and desire rippled through me as I saw just how happy he was. With a sudden surge of confidence, I leaned forward to kiss him, and slowly slid my hand down his shaft. He moaned against my lips.

"I never got to properly thank you for last night," I said seductively, and he shivered as I leant forward and flicked my tongue over his swollen head. I wrapped by hand around his base, and gently slid them up and down, gripping on tighter as I moved faster and took him in my mouth.

"Oh God, Isabelle," he said thickly. I didn't stop when he sat up, but I jolted upright in surprise and pleasure as he slipped a finger inside of me. I was already wet.

He laughed, and the deep sound sent excitement through me. He pushed me back so that I fell on the bed, and his finger moved in and out of me while his thumb rolled in quick circles around my bud. I twitched underneath him as he continued his work, and opened my eyes to find him watching me with a pleased smile. I felt heat flood my face.

He had already slipped on a condom, and I smiled back at him as he spread my legs and moved between them, shouting out when he slid into me again. He held my waist off of the ground as he pushed into me over and over, the both of us moaning. Just like the night before, when he was ready, he lightly pinched my bud so that we finished in unison. Five minutes later, when his breathing had calmed, I jumped onto him again.

By the time we had finished the second time, both of our stomachs were growling angrily. The humidity in the tent was becoming a little too much for me though, so I really wanted a shower. We each munched on an apple as we drove down to the other side of the campground. The place seemed completely deserted, so I didn't object when Jacob pulled me into the shower room with him.

I let him wash my hair, almost purring from the feeling of his fingers rubbing my scalp. We had covered each other in soap, and the feeling of our hands slipping against each other's bodies had the same effect on both of us. Happy that he had come prepared, he lifted me up and had me right up against the wall underneath the running water. I drew blood biting onto my own lip, trying not to yell too loudly.

It wasn't even noon, and I was already completely exhausted. Jacob seemed completely fine though, and left me at the camp while he went to return the canoe. I cleaned up our tent, just making one big bed instead of two small ones, and dried up all of the mud and water we had dragged in, then hung up our wet clothes from yesterday on the line under the tarp. I left the doors open, only closing the screen so it could cool off, before I started making some lunch.

Jacob came back as soon as I was finishing, and ran over to kiss me as soon as he could see me, making me blush and laugh loudly. We couldn't do much with the pouring rain, and I didn't want to stay cooped up in the hot tent, so we sat together at the picnic table, ate food and played cards. We played every game we could think of with only two people, and it never really got boring. It was hard to stay away from him though, I felt like if I wasn't touching him then he was too far away. It seemed like he felt the same way, always sneaking little kisses, holding my hand, brushing hair away from my face, resting his hand on my leg. I had always felt connected to Jacob, but now, it was just so strong. I wanted this week to last forever; the idea of going home and being away from him for even a night was suffocating.

When the sun started to set, it seemed to pull the clouds away with it. All of our wood was soaked, so we decided to take a long walk to the welcoming station to get some more. I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face as we walked at a leisurely pace. Jacob had his hands in his pockets, and I had one arm linked through his. I was sad to let it go once we got the wood, but he wouldn't let me carry any.

It was really dark by the time we got back, the only light coming from the scattered, flickering fires from the other campers, and the half-moon in the sky above us. I should have brought my flashlight. Jacob was able to warn me about holes in the road still, and I was kind of jealous about his heightened senses.

He was able to start a fire quickly, and I got changed into a comfy pair of shorts and a soft cotton camisole while he was busy. We went through another pack of hotdogs that night, and half a bag of marshmallows.

Jacob kept me secure in his lap the entire time. I was just too tired to keep my eyes open for long though. I must have drifted off; I was watching the dancing flames, and it felt like I had only blinked and there was nothing but low burning embers. Jacob kissed my hair when he realized I had woken up, before letting me stand. I helped him kick some sand on the embers before we both walked over to the tent.

I slid into the bed, kicking off my shoes, and watched as Jacob pulled of his shirt and jeans, before crawling into bed next to me in his shorts. He stretched out an arm for me, and I smiled as I cuddled up next to him. I kissed him on the cheek, and then rested my head on his shoulder.

* * *

We packed up the camp the next day, storing everything but the empty tent in the car. We were going to go hiking, and wouldn't be back until tomorrow. I emptied out my bag, and we put everything we needed into it because it was easier to carry than Jacob's.

I was worried that Jacob would get frustrated with my slow pace, but he remained calm and patient the entire time. He stayed close to my side, holding my hand and helping me over fallen trees and up rocks. He caught me every single time I fell. I was out of breath by the time we stopped late in the afternoon for a break, but even with the heavy pack on his back, Jacob seemed completely fine. It was maddeningly frustrating, and Jacob seemed to catch on to my mood.

"We can go back if you're not enjoying this. I really don't mind." He tried to say it gently, but the words just made it worse. I didn't like feeling weak. I was about to say something witty and sharp, but when I looked over at him and saw his worried expression, I bit back my retort and sighed. This wasn't his fault, he was just trying to give me a fun vacation.

I sighed. "No, I'm fine. Sorry, it's just a little frustrating not being able to keep up, it makes me feel weak, and I hate that. I am enjoying it, it's so beautiful out here, but this can't be much fun for you." I rested my head in my hands sadly.

He moved closer to me, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "I am having fun. I don't care how slow we walk as long as you're there walking with me." I looked up at him sadly. I appreciated his words, but they didn't make me feel much better. A sudden smile broke out across his face. I practically saw the light bulb turn on above his head. "I do have an idea, if you want to get there faster," he said.

I was instantly intrigued by his change in mood. "How?"

"I could give you a ride," he said cheerfully.

"You giving me a piggy-back isn't going to help Jake," I said, rolling my eyes.

"But I thought you wanted to see how I ran. You asked before when I told you about it."

The memory flashed quickly in my mind; Jacob telling me about his love for running in the woods, the feel of the leaves and twigs snapping under the weight of his giant paws. My mood immediately flipped, and now I was excited and nervous. His smile got wider when he saw the change.

"Are you sure I won't be too heavy?"

He rolled his eyes. "I can barely feel your weight when I carry you in this form, you'll feel light as a feather in my other one. You'd have to carry the hiking pack though…"

"Sure, I don't mind," I said happily. We packed up our things, and Jacob secured the bag to my back. He ran off into the woods, and came back a minute later, carrying his clothes in his mouth. I took them from him, and laughed we he tried to play tug-a-war with me. It was just so… canine. When he finally let go, I rolled the clothes up, and stuck them into the side of my bag behind me.

I paused and looked at him for a moment, not sure of what to do. He laid down on the ground, watching me as he did so, and let out a small bark. I took that as my cue to hop on. I climbed up onto his massive back, being careful not to tug too hard on his fur. I settled in behind his shoulder blades, and gripped onto his neck. His fur was so soft.

"Is this okay?" I asked uncertainly. He nodded, and slowly started to walk. He increased his speed gradually, and after about five minutes, I kind of felt like I was traveling on a motorcycle. A _really fast_ motorcycle. The trees zipped past us in a green blur, and the force of the wind sent my hair flying out behind me. It was so much fun, I couldn't help my laughter. After a while he slowed down to a more reasonable speed, and I figured he had just wanted to show off. He was still going pretty fast, but now I could distinguish the individual trees of the forest we traveled through. I could also tell that we weren't on the trail anymore, but I trusted that Jake knew where he was taking me. Besides, the sun was now falling close to the horizon on my right, so I knew we were still going south.

"Hey Jake, can you hear the others from here?" I asked curiously. I wasn't sure exactly how strong their mind connection thing was.

Jacob barked, and I leaned around to try and see hit face. If wolves could smile, this is what it would look like.

I laughed, "Is this a one bark for yes and two barks for no sort of system?"

Another happy bark.

"That is _so_ cool. Hey guys! And Leah if your there!" I laughed loudly, and felt my face go really red. I hoped Jake was thinking about something other than yesterday. I tried not to think about it too much.

It didn't feel like we had been running long when Jacob slowed to a stop. We had stumbled across a small grassy bank alongside of the river. I slid off of Jacob's back once I realized that we were stopping here. I handed him his clothes, scratching behind his ear before he took them from me with his mouth and trotted back out to the forest.

I couldn't get one of the buckles undone, so I was still stuck in the hiking pack when he came back. He effortlessly clicked it open, and lifted it off of me. He set it on the ground, and firstly pulled out the blankets. He handed them to me, and I laid one of them down on the soft grass for us to sit on. We had another feast of peanut butter and raspberry jam sandwiches, along with a big container of cut up celery and carrot sticks.

"So, that really didn't freak you out at all?"

"Are you joking? It was amazing! I've never been on a motor cycle or roller coaster before, but I imagine it would be sort of the same sensation. Very cool."

"Wow. The guys got a kick out of hearing you talk to them like that."

"Was it annoying? Trying to run with someone clinging to your back like that?"

"Not at all, I really liked it too. I could barely feel your weight, but it felt nice having your arms wrapped around my neck."

I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck now. I was very much aware that it had been more than a day since that memorable shower. He hadn't been avoiding me in the slightest, but still didn't try to push for more than holding me and sneaking a few kisses. It kind of gave me mixed signals. Maybe he didn't want any more, maybe I had done something wrong.

We hadn't set a fire, because we didn't really need the light. The moon was so bright , and the light doubled from its reflection over the river. I could easily see Jacob's face, and he seemed happy. His lips pulled up slightly in both corners, the constant little grin that he seemed to always wear. He caught me watching him, and the grin turned into a more prominent smile. He slid over, tucking me under his arm and holding me right up against his side. I shivered slightly when a cool breeze hit my exposed arm. He looked down at me in concern.

"I'm fine," I told him, and rubbed the goose bumps off of my arm. He shook his head slightly, and pulled me onto his lap, encircling me in his arms. I smiled happily up at him, and he laughed before leaning down to kiss me.

His lips were gentle as they touched mine, and after a moment when he didn't pull away, I leaned into him. The arm that was behind my back wrapped firmly around my waist, and my lips smiled against his. His light chuckle excited me, and he held me a little more tightly and I kissed him harder.

He let me go for a moment when I pulled up at the bottom of his shirt. He lifted up his arms for me to slide it off, but they were so long that I had to straighten up on my knees to get it off. I was right in between his legs, and he kissed my collarbone that was hovering in front of his face.

I slowly slid my fingers down his raised arms with a pleased smile. He seemed to like my appreciation, and slowly lowered them, sliding them down my shoulders and along my ribs to my waist. He paused for a moment at the hem of my shirt, and I raised my own arms so he could slide if off. I lowered my arms, and his hand slid down my spine, unsnapping my bra easily. I smiled at him, looking deep into his eyes, as I slid off the straps and tossed it on the grass beside our blanket. I was still standing on my knees, and I was looking down on him slightly. He let out a small sound that sounded almost like a growl, and it sent a rush of heat into my face. His hands slid up my ribs, cupping each of my breasts. I dropped my head back slightly, and couldn't hide my smile of pleasure as his thumbs traces small circle around my nipples. One of his hands slid to the small of my back, pulling my body against his, and his tongue took its place. He circled and flicked it, and bit down on it lightly after sucking it into his mouth, and I let out a happy moan. His mouth scattered kisses all over my chest, as his hands slid down and unbuttoned my shorts, sliding them down my legs with my panties. I lifted each of my knees to kind of step out of them, and he dropped them in the small pike with the rest of my clothes.

If I had seen myself like this a year ago, I wouldn't have recognized myself in the slightest. Jacob had changed me so completely. Or maybe healed would be a better word. He gave me confidence in myself with his love and devotion to me. I don't know how other people could expose themselves like this to others without the complete trust and love that Jacob and I had for each other.

I loved the look of appreciation in his eyes as he inspected my body. The pale, bright light of the moon gave a magical quality to everything, and I felt like I was in a dream as his hands and mouth seemed determined to touch and kiss every part of my body. He stopped for a moment, and I watched as he removed his own pants before returning to where he had been. He started kissing my breasts again, and his hands rubbed firmly up and down my bare legs and hips. When hind hands gripped onto my sides, I let out a small moaned of pleasure from the tightness, and he lifted me onto his lap. My legs spread a little as he lowered me, so that I was kneeling on his legs. He took my nipple into his mouth again as his hands relaxed, and slid down to my legs.

I trebled slightly as they got closer and closer to where I wanted them, and shuddered when his finger parted my folds. He slid it up and down lightly, and my body shook more, I was so wet as he slipped up and down, then start to lightly rub my bud. I opened my eyes and stared into his, who had been watching me happily. I tried to speak through them, telling him what I wanted. What I needed. He looked down, his hands still steadily at work, and I saw the condom on the ground by his knee. I picked it up, and ripped open the package.

He guided my shaking hand down his thick shaft as I slid it on, and when I straightened back up, I could feel him hot against my leg. He slipped a finger inside of me, and then pulled it out and started rubbing again. I shivered again, then slid my hand in between us. He steadied my hips as I centered myself above him. Very slowly, I lowered myself onto him, pulling him in deeper and deeper. I paused for a moment open my eyes to look into his as I just enjoyed the sensation of him filling me. I slipped my hands onto his shoulders, and didn't break eye contact as I raised myself with my thighs, and lowered myself onto him again, sliding down his body.

"Jacob." I didn't have words for this feeling, this overwhelming happiness. His name was the only word that fit it. I think he could understand what I meant. I could see it in his eyes too, and I kept sliding up and down his body, slowly increasing my speed, but it changed when he heard me say his name. He pulled my hips into him pushing himself as deep inside me as he could, and held himself there as he picked us up, and laid me on the ground. He held up my hips, and I clutched at the grass on either side of me as he held me tightly, and thrust himself in and out of me. I felt like his giant hands would wrap all the way around my waist, and his strength excited me. Nothing could ever be this good. My moans came louder and faster as he increased his speed. I whimpered and wiggled as his thumb slid over my bud and he moaned loudly as we came together.

He wasn't done though, and as he laid me back down he bent my legs. He pulled them apart widely, exposing myself to him completely. He leaned forward, and I gasped as he flicked at me with his tongue. He sucked and nibbled on me, then dipped one of his large fingers inside of me. He curved it in and out of me while he licked me, increasing his speed as I shouted out his name. I heard him open another wrapper while I came again, and my insides clenched at him tightly as he entered me. He paused inside of me, and I met his eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, please, don't stop," I begged him, panting. He obliged, slowly pulling out of me then thrusting back in quickly. My legs wrapped around his waist as tightly as they could, and my whole body trembled as he thrust into me roughly.

I came again twice before he finished, and clutched at him tightly as he fell onto the blanket next to me. He ran his fingers through my hair, and held me tightly against him while we both tried to calm our breathing. It didn't take him as long, and he placed gentle kisses all over my face and hair while I trembled, whispering my name and telling me that he loved me. I finally caught my breath, and I looked into his worried eyes.

"Are you okay? Was that too rough?"

I laughed, and smiled ruefully at him when I met his eyes again. "God Jacob, that was just too amazing. I never wanted to stop."

He rolled on top of me, pinning me down on my back and kissing me. I wrapped my shaking hands around his neck lightly.

I pulled away first. I just felt too hot, and I was sweating. Jacob offered a dip in the river, and I accepted happily. He stood up, and I admired his naked body for a moment before accepting his hand to help me up. As soon as I was on my feet, I fell over.

He caught me of course, and I couldn't help laughing again. "Jacob, I don't think I can walk," I told him. My legs felt like rubber. I looked up, and that worry was on his face again. He laughed too after seeing my amused expression, and scooped me up into his arms, carrying me into the water. I squealed as we dropped in from the shock of the cold, but as long as I was touching Jacob the cold wasn't too much. I felt better quickly after dunking my head under the water for a few minutes, and smiled at him happily as I waded back into his arms.

"Are you sure you're okay Isabelle?" He asked me again. I was still shaking, my body was just exhausted.

"Jake, if I had the option, I'd like to spend the rest of the summer not being able to walk like this." He threw his head back with laughter.

"I would definitely have no objection to that."

"How many did you bring?" I asked him a little worriedly.

He laughed again, shaking his head. "I didn't actually pack them… I didn't want to presume anything. When I opened my trunk though, I had found that Embry had stuffed a giant box of them in my trunk as a joke."

I joined him his laughter. Yeah, I could see Embry doing that, or maybe Paul. "Well, jokes on him I guess." He smiled, and leaned down to kiss me again.

He carried me back out of the water, and helped me keep my balance as we toweled off. We laid back onto our blanket, and Jake threw the second one over us as he curled up behind me. He folded one arm underneath my head that I used as a pillow, and the other one wrapped around my waist, holding me against him. I threaded my fingers through his, and fell asleep easily surrounded by his warmth.

* * *

It was a wonderful feeling waking up that morning. I had slept like the dead, and felt refreshed and relaxed. Jacob was snoring lightly behind me, still holding me tightly in his sleep. When I opened my eyes against the bright sunlight, there was a sparking river surrounded by green right in front of me.

I managed to disentangle myself from his hold without waking him up this time, and snuck into the words to do my business. He was still asleep when I came back, and I watched him sleep with a small smile. I waited a bit, but my craving for his company made me impatient. I decided to wake him up, and slipped under the blanket. His response was instant, and he woke up with a happy moan, and flipped the blanket off at us. He looked down at me, and I smiled back up at him devilishly. He grinned, sitting up quickly, and pulling me to his lips.

We kept each other thoroughly entertained for a couple of hours, until both of our stomachs were angrily hungry. We cleaned ourselves off in the river again, and Jake gave me a ride back to the camp.

* * *

It was just after noon when we got back, and I started a fire while he unpacked the car. Jake cooked us hamburgers on a grate over our fire for lunch. I was starving, but tapped out during my third, and Jake finished it happily for me. We were both too stuffed to move afterwards, and just sat back in the sun for a while.

We had to go out for more ice that afternoon so our food would keep, taking the car so it wouldn't melt on the long walk back. Once we got back to our campsite, we practically ran to the tent, pulling our shirts off before we were even inside. We didn't leave for the rest of the afternoon, not even wanting to stop to eat again.

* * *

I just couldn't stay away from him, I needed his touch like I needed the air to breath. But we couldn't just stay in the hot tent for the rest of the week, so the next day we went to the beach. It was only an hour walk away, and we took our time and held hands as we walked.

The beach was crowded, so I tried to behave myself. It was hard though, watching him run around through the water without a shirt on. We stayed in the water until our fingers turned to prunes, and laid out in the sun to dry. I was very deliberate with my sunscreen application, refusing to let a burn ruin my vacation. Jacob seemed more than happy to rub the lotion on my back too.

The next day we went fishing. The river was filled with them, and we caught many but only kept a few. Jacob was impressed with my ability to de-scale, fillet and debone a fish, but I had done it many times before.

Saturday came way too quickly, and we both felt it. I didn't want to go home, I wanted to stay here with him for the rest of the summer. We didn't make any plans for the day, and just relaxed alone in our little bubble of happiness. After we had some lunch, I curled up in his lap instead of sitting back in my own chair. He embraced me happily, and I put both of my hands on his face and kissed him urgently. I was starting to panic as more minutes passed by. I felt a tear streak down my face, and laughed at how ridiculous I was being.

He pulled away, and looked deeply into my eyes. He didn't need to ask me what was wrong, he just knew how I felt. He lifted me up slowly, and carried me into the tent.

He laid me down, and unbuttoned my shirt. I sat up to pull it off, and he gently pushed me back down. He slid his palm down my torso, over my breasts and then down my stomach, then hooked a finger into my jeans and un-popped the button. He slowly slid those off too. I wanted to pull off his shirt for him, but he seemed to want me to stay still, and I did my best to oblige him. Instead I asked him with my eyes, and he slipped that off too.

He took his time removing my bra and panties. And my breathing was hard as he slowly covered my entire body in soft kisses. His intensity moved me, and I melted under his touch.

When he finally made his way between my legs, I was already wet. He pinched and licked me lightly until I was squirming under him. He met my eyes as he held himself over me, and I smiled at him lovingly. He smiled back and met my lips with his as he entered me. My arms wrapped around his back, and he growled as my nails dug into his skin. The sound sent a shiver down my spine, and I held on tighter.

He look it very slowly that first time, and it was very sensual. Our eye contact made it so much more intense, and I felt like he was looking into my soul, reading my mind and he pushed in and out. It was very beautiful, but not long after I wanted more.

I trailed my fingertips over his arms, his shoulders, I traced every one of the hard muscles on his stomach slowly, wanting to commit every inch of him to my memory. He shivered as I raked my nails lightly over his legs, and he twitched in excitement.

I didn't need his help this time as I slid the condom onto him, and he watched me with intense eyes as I straddled him, and lowered myself onto him. I rested my hands on his abdomen to steady myself as I slowly rocked up and down him. As my pleasure increased, so did my speed, and he moaned and clutched at my thighs while I rode him. He slipped a finger between my fold to rub my bud, and I shuddered and clenched him inside of me while I came. He smiled at me, and flipped me over quickly, never pulling out. He was able to move much more quickly than I was, and it was only a minute before I came again, and again from his rough speed. Yes, I liked this much better. I shouted out his name again and again, and he laid me down and sucked at my peaks while he continued to move in me. I couldn't even think any more, there was nothing but pleasure, and I lost track of everything.

We took short break, but definitely made the most of our last day, barely able to pull away from each other.

It was late at night, and I was straddling his lap, shaking as he lifted me up and down himself. He was watching my facial expressions as I writhed in ecstasy.

"I love you so much Isabelle," He whispered thickly.

I put both of my hands on his face, smiling as a tear rolled out of the corner of my eye. "I love you too Jacob, more than anything."

* * *

It didn't take long enough to pack up our camp the next day, and I did so with a sad expression. After I handed Jake the last chair to stuff in his trunk, he picked me up, and sat me on the closed trunk of his car. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, holding onto him tightly. He kissed the top of my head, and rubbed my back firmly.

"I know, I don't want to go back either babe. It will be fine though. This was only the beginning, we have the whole summer."

I nodded, and he gave me a tight squeeze before kissing me. It ended too quickly, and he helped me down from the car. I gave the site one last wistful glance, and then joined my boyfriend in the Rabbit.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	9. Chapter Nine: My Everything

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Warning: Rated M, will contain mature language and subject matter.**

**Chapter Nine :: My Everything**

It was difficult getting back into my routine once Jacob dropped me off. I was happy to see Charlie again, I hadn't had time to realize how much I missed him, but I was constantly distracted by the memory of Jacob's skin against mine, of how complete I felt when he was inside of me…

"Earth to Bells? I think your eggs are done," Charlie said. I had woken up early, it wasn't easy to sleep without Jacob's arms around me, so I came down to make Charlie breakfast before he left for work. There was smoke coming off of the burnt eggs in the pan in front of me.

"Crap, sorry Charlie, I wasn't paying attention." He told me not to worry about it, saying he'd pick something up on the way to work, and gave me a quick hug before he left.

I cleaned up my mess in the kitchen, and then decided to vacuum the floors and tidy up the house before I jumped in the shower. It felt nice to be in my own bathroom again, and the thought lightened my mood as I took my time under the running water. I got dressed nicely, putting on a denim skirt and a pretty white camisole, then blow-dried my hair nicely before making some lunch. I paid closer attention this time, and was happy to be cooking on my familiar stove again too. After I ate, I packed up two containers and drove over to Jacob's work a little too quickly.

I had worried slightly that Jacob might have been sick of me after being stuck with me for an entire week, and that maybe I should give him some space for a bit, but he was waiting outside for me when I pulled up, and ran over to my truck to meet me. His bright smile made everything else fade away, and I threw open my truck door, jumping into his arms.

He caught me easily, and held onto me tightly, pressing my back against my truck as he kissed me roughly. I smiled against his lips. "God Belle, I missed you so much. I can't think about anything else." He said, resting his forehead against mine.

"Me too, I couldn't sleep without you next to me, and I burnt Charlie's breakfast this morning while I was thinking of you," I said with a suggestive smile.

He laughed, finding it hard to believe that I was capable of ruining a dish, and I was flattered. My legs were still dangling underneath me, and I informed him that I brought him lunch so he would set me down.

I walked in and said hello to Neal, handing him over a plate before we went back to sit in my truck while Jake ate. He seemed torn between wanting to eat and wanting to hold me. So he inhaled the food, and then pulled me across the bench into his lap to kiss me.

He moaned when Neal honked a horn inside the garage. "I guess I should get back to work before he fires me," he said sadly. "Can I come over after work?"

"Of course, do you want to stay for dinner?" He said yes, so I swung by the grocery store on the way back. I kept myself busy for the afternoon, making a mushroom stuffing for my chicken breasts, then hammering them out and rolling them up. I made a huge salad too, and was just sticking it into the fridge when the doorbell rang, and Jacob came in. I ran over to the door, and he smiled when he saw me in my apron. We looked at each other for only a moment, before I ran over into his arms and he lifted me to his lips. He kicked off his boots while we kissed, and I wrapped my legs around him as he walked us over to the couch. He dropped back on it, keeping me onto of him.

We barely broke apart from each other to breathe, and it felt like only minutes had passed when Jacob sat up quickly, taking me with him, and saying that Charlie had just pulled into the driveway. I barely got off of him in time as he opened the front door, and I picked my apron up off the floor as I dashed into the kitchen.

"Oh, hey Jake," Charlie said easily as he walked in.

"Hey Charlie, how've you been?" He asked, completely at ease. I didn't know how he did it; my heart was still pounding in my ears as I slipped the chicken into the oven.

"Not bad, work's been quiet. How was your camping trip?"

"It was awesome, really nice park. The fish were great."

"Oh yeah? Harry and I wanted to go on a fishing trip soon, maybe we'll check it out."

Dinner didn't take long to cook, and we all sat to eat in the living room since it was cooler. The oven had quickly turned the kitchen into a greenhouse.

Charlie was distracted by his TV, and I curled into Jacob's side happily while we held each others' hands. I wanted so much more, but was happy just to be near him.

* * *

The week got easier, and I occupied my time hanging out with Angela and Leah during the days, visiting Jacob during his lunch breaks, and tending my garden. I had to do some damage control on the patch when I got back, if it hadn't rained while I'd been gone they would probably all be dead. After a couple of days of regular watering and some plant food, they perked right back up though.

My weekends were completely Jacob's though. We'd go on little road trips and hikes, he took me to movies, dinners, and even to an amusement park. We rode the roller coasters over and over again, screaming until we lost our voices. We never got to be close like we had been on our little vacation, the opportunity just never came up, but as long as I was by his side I was the definition of happy.

My love for him grew more and more every day. Sometimes when I was alone and thought about him, it was overwhelming how much I cared for him. Surely no one has ever loved someone as much as I love Jacob, and I knew that he loved me every bit as much as I did him.

* * *

After a couple of weeks, Charlie took Jacob's advice and went on a fishing trip with Harry for a long weekend. The house was mine.

Jacob said he'd be over at ten, so I had plenty of time to get ready. I had a long shower, and then made my hair as smooth and straight as I could. I had gone shopping with Angela and Leah the other day, and stopped at Victoria's secret. So when the doorbell rang, I was lying on my side in soft, violet coloured silk lingerie on my bed. It was almost like a camisole, but made out of a very see-though lace, and came with adorable matching panties that were ruffled on the sides. Jacob let himself in after he had knocked.

"I'm upstairs, can you come help me with something for a sec?" I said in the most casual voice that I could muster.

I heard him take the steps two at a time, and he quickly made it to my doorway, where he froze. His eyes were wide as he took me in, and I could see his excitement. I smiled at him, waving him forward with a finger.

His smile was devilish, and he ripped his shirt off, kicked off his pants, and hopped onto the bed beside me.

"God, I've been waiting for this for too long," he growled, and started kissing my neck. His hands slid over my silky top, and then went underneath it as he pulled it off. His mouth went immediately to my breasts, and I moaned happily. Once he was done, he left a trail of kisses down my stomach, and along the line of my panties before he slipped those off too. He lifted my legs over his shoulders and his tongue dipped inside of me. He teased me until I couldn't take it anymore, and begged him to enter me. He obliged happily, lifting up my hips and sliding inside of me quickly. One of his hands supported my lower back, and the other one rested on my stomach while he worked. I asked him to go harder, and faster, and shouted out when he obliged. He didn't stop when I came the first time, or the second, and by the time he joined me in the third, pinching me so that we finished together I'm pretty sure the entire town had heard us.

We spent the entire three days like that, only stopping for necessities like food and the bathroom. We couldn't even bare to leave each other in the shower. The strength of my desire scared me a little. He was my everything, and now the thought of going off to school scared me. How would I survive being away from him for so long? It was too painful to even bring up, so I tried to push it aside to deal with later.

* * *

It was so hot as we drove over to Emily's. I hadn't seen her nearly as much as I should have over the past few weeks, but my needs had been elsewhere. I was slightly hanging my head out of the car while Jacob drove.

He held my hand as we walked up the steps, and the smell of fish hit me as soon as he opened up the door. I ran over to the bathroom and threw up. Emily ran in after me when I told Jacob to leave me alone, and she held my hair. The nausea passed quickly, and five minutes later I felt completely fine.

"I'm so sorry Emily, I think I have a bit of a bug. My stomachs been acting up a little the past couple days."

"Don't worry about it Belle, it happens to the best of us. The human ones, anyways," she joked, making me laugh. She gave me a bottle of mouth wash while she left to open the windows in the kitchen. Jacob was waiting outside the bathroom door for me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you," I told him guiltily.

"It's okay babe. Are you feeling better? Do you want me to take you home, or to the doctor's?"

"No, I feel fine now. I think the smell of the fish just got to me for a moment." It took a little while to convince him, but he eventually accepted it and led me back to the others.

* * *

I got sick again the next morning, and the morning afterwards also. It never lasted long, but I was starting to get a little worried. I couldn't think of anything that I ate to have caused it. I walked past my desk, and glanced at my calendar.

It still had the month of July on it, so I ripped off the paper and went to crumple it, but something caught my attention. The four red dots that had marked my last period. I looked over to today's date in August, and realized I was two weeks late.

That happened sometimes though, I wasn't always that regular. And Jacob and I _always_ used protection. My stomach's weird behaviour tugged at my mind though.

There was no need to panic, I could just buy a test and make sure, put my mind at ease. But when I thought about the Chief of Police's daughter walking into the small-town store and buying a pregnancy test, I felt my face pale.

I would be sad to miss lunch with Jacob, but I decided this was important. I grabbed my purse, jumped in my car, and drove for two hours to another town and bought one there.

I was pacing back and forth along the floor in the bathroom, counting the seconds in my head and trying to prevent myself from looking at the test sitting on the counter. I counted an extra minute just to be on the safe side, before I finally made myself look.

"+ 4 weeks" it read. I stared at it, disbelieving for a long minute, before I threw up again.

* * *

_Oh god oh god. What am I going to do? How did this happen?_

I watched as Charlie packed up the trunk of Harry's car, forcing myself to take my hand off of my abdomen again. Ever since I had found out four hours ago, I kept instinctively raising my hand to lay it over my flat stomach. I couldn't see any physical difference, but I was very much aware that there was another human being inside of me. Jacob's child, _our_ child.

There had been four tests in the box, and I did them all, so I was pretty certain. I should probably go to a doctor, or at least look for a book to tell me when I should go see a doctor. But first, I needed to tell Jacob. I still had no idea how I was supposed to do that, or more importantly how he would react.

I had had plenty of time to think of other things though. I would be eighteen in a couple of weeks, and then I would be able to fully provide for myself. I wanted to keep my baby, of that I was completely sure. I was also sure in the fact that Jacob truly loved me, and I doubted he would leave me, but even if he did, and even if Charlie kicked me out, we would be okay.

I waved as they drove off, and before I closed the door I saw Jacob trot out of the woods, wearing nothing but a pair of cut-off jeans. I smiled at the sight of him, and so did he. He hopped lightly up the stairs, and ducked down to kiss me gently.

"Hey babe, I missed you today," he said in a deep voice before kissing me again. The tone sent a shiver of desire down my spine. I could wait another day to tell him… we so rarely got time like this, and I didn't want to risk ruining it.

I slid my hands down his bare chest, and grabbed onto the waistband of his jeans, pulling him inside. He threw me over his shoulder, shut the door, and carried me up to my bedroom quickly. I laughed as he threw me down onto my bed, and I pulled off my shirt and bra while he undid his shorts.

He hopped on top of me, pinning my arms down and kissing me fiercely. While his lips fought with mine, one of his hands slid down my arm, all the way to my neck then down to my breast. He pinched me lightly, and I responded by biting his lip.

I felt him stiffen against me as he growled. He moved from my mouth directly to my breast, taking it into his mouth roughly. My body just felt so much more sensitive now, and his tongue felt amazing. I wanted more of it.

He left a trail of angry kisses down my stomach. When his lips kissed down on where his child was, it did something else to me.

He'd be such an amazing father, and I really wanted to tell him. I could see us a few years down the road, we'd live with Billy because Jacob would never neglect his duty of caring for his father. I loved Billy too. I could see myself sitting on the porch with him, watching Jacob play with our children in the yard, everyone one smiling and laughing. I wanted it so bad that I felt my eyes start to water.

I was distracted when he bit down onto the waistband of my panties, and pulled them off slowly with his teeth. He held my ankle, kissing up the inside of my leg. When he got to the end, he spread my legs widely in front of him.

He slid a finger slowly down my center, and my body twitched happily. His tongue followed closely behind, and his hand rested on my stomach, stopping me from pulling away. His tongue disappeared but he quickly slid into me, making me gasp.

He stayed like that, and while he was inside me, he slipped his thumb around my bud, rubbing it and making my insides clench around him. He continued until I finished quickly, then immediately pulled out and pushed back into me. He moved quickly and a little roughly, and I clutched at his arms while I shouted out in pleasure.

* * *

We didn't leave my room for the entire night, and I had fallen asleep completely exhausted in his arms. I slept so much better when he was holding me. When I woke up to the soft light of the sunrise streaming in through my window, Jacob was already awake, watching me with an engrossed smile. I smiled back at him.

"Morning," I said a little sleepily. He kissed me, and whispered a good morning back to me. We watched each other in happy silence for a moment before he spoke.

"You know I love you right? More than anything and everything in the entire world?" I smiled back to him, and nodded shyly. "Do you love me?"

The question was ridiculous, he was well aware of how much i loved him. "Of course I do. You're my everything Jacob," I told him obviously.

He relaxed slightly, but I could tell he was very nervous about something. I decided to wait patiently until he was ready to talk. "I swear to you that nothing could make my love for you fade, and that I will love you more and more every day for the rest of my life. I don't want to ever let you go, I want to keep you by my side forever." He looked at me nervously, and I gave him a gentle smile before leaning up to kiss him. I sat up when he pulled away, a little worried by his intensity so early in the day. He took my hand, and placed something inside of it. I looked down at the small white box.

I stared at it for a moment, feeling his gaze on my face the entire time. With shaking hands, I slowly opened the box. There was a small silver ring inside, with a diamond centered in its middle. It was simple, but so very beautiful. I loved it. "Jacob…"

"I want you to be mine for the rest of our lives. I want to live together, and I want you to carry my children. I want to wake up every morning with you in my arms, and love you every minute of every day forever." I looked up into his eyes, and could feel the tears welling up in mine. "Belle, will you marry me?"

My answer was instant. "Yes."

His dazzling smile stopped my heart, and my tears over flowed as he took the ring out of the box, and gently slid it onto my left hand. We both admired its new home for a few minutes before he kissed it, and then started kissing up my arm. I grabbed his face in my hands when he reached my elbow, not being able to wait any longer, and kissed him roughly. I rolled on top of him, shivering when he ran his hands over my naked body.

We looked into each other's eyes as I lowered myself on top of him, and his hands gripped onto my hips while I rocked on him. Yes, I could happily do this for the rest of my life, I would never tire of it.

We couldn't seem to pull away from each other, and we spent the entire day in my room, only stopping to grab some water and a bit of food late in the afternoon on shaky legs. I didn't even want to eat, all I wanted was him, and he seemed to feel the same way. I drifted off to sleep that night with a permanent smile etched into my face.

* * *

It was almost noon the next day, and he had his arms wrapped around my waist while I cooked us some eggs. I was absolutely starving, and had to remind myself that technically I was eating for two now. I needed to tell him, I'll just come out and say it. He wouldn't leave me. Yes, we were young, but we'll both be eighteen soon, and he even said he wanted kids…

"Jacob…"

We were both distracted by the loud howl of a wolf out in the distance. He froze, and looked at me sadly. "I'm sorry Belle, I have to go."

I nodded. "I know, be careful," I said worriedly.

He lifted me up, and gave me a long kiss. "I'll be fine." He lifted my hand, and kissed my ring before ducking out the back door. I watched, a little aroused when he slipped of his pants, tied them to his leg, and exploded into a giant wolf before disappearing into the woods. I took my giant plate of scrambled eggs into the backyard to eat, hoping that he might come back in a few minutes and tell me it was nothing.

He didn't though, and I went back inside and cleaned up before Charlie got home. We went out for dinner together, just the smell of his fish made me feel too sick to cook, and I feel asleep completely exhausted once we got home.

* * *

Charlie took the day off of work the next day to catch up on some sleep. The sky was very overcast, but the weather was still nice, so I went outside to play in my garden. The tomatoes were fat and ripe, and I started plucking the heavy ones off and lying them into my basket. I had more than enough to make a giant batch of tomato sauce, and decided I would take them over to Emily's and get her help skinning them. I could hear Charlie banging around in the kitchen.

"Hello."

I yelped loudly, and spun around quickly at the unexpected voice. There was a man standing at the edge of my backyard, seeming completely at ease. He was tall, with long black hair that was pulled back into a thin ponytail. He was dressed in a nice business suit, but had a dark grey cloak on over it. It was his dark red eyes in his extremely pale face that held my attention. I stared at him in fear.

"Where are my manners, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Elijah, and I'm here on business, you see." I blinked, and then he was only two meters away from me. He inhaled deeply. "Ah yes, what a beautiful scent. There's a flavor in there… but I can't read it. A shield mostly likely. Yes, the Volturi will be very happy to have you."

I didn't understand what he was talking about. I wanted to scream but couldn't find any air. Charlie must have seen me through the window, because he ran into the backyard with his gun. "You get away from my daughter!" He yelled loudly, pointing his gun. I went to run to his side, but the vampire beat me, and in another blink of an eye, he had taken Charlie's pistol and shot him straight through his forehead.

I did scream then, and ran to his side. "Charlie? _Charlie!_ Dad! No no no, please." I begged him not to be dead, but he stared up at me with empty eyes, just like my mother had.

"Sorry about that, now where were we?" Elijah asked casually. I gave him my darkest glare, and then I saw him wince. It was almost like he was wrinkling his nose, and he looked over my head into the woods. Jacob's wolf barreled into my backyard with another black wolf that was almost as big as he was, and the two of them chased the creature into the woods.

I was all alone now, Charlie dead at my feet. I panicked and called 911. They were at my house in five minutes. I told them that someone had come into my backyard through the woods, and that when Charlie came out, he stole his gun and shot him. I could barely speak through my sobs and started throwing up as soon as I had finished the story. They brought me into an ambulance for shock, and when the female paramedic asked, I let her know I was about a month pregnant. Billy came to the house shortly after with Harry, and they brought me over to his place. Harry wrapped me in a blanket, and they set me on the couch, not really knowing what to say. All I could think about was Charlie's eyes, and how I hoped that Jacob was painfully tearing the leech's body into shreds. I couldn't hear their words, and after a while they just stopped talking altogether. Maybe I should have felt bad, these were my Dad's two best friends after all, but I didn't have the room in my mind.

It was late at night when Jacob burst into the house, and Billy left to give us some privacy. A whole new wave of tears crashed over me as he pulled me into his arms and held onto me tightly. "I'm so sorry Belle, I wish I could have gotten there soon, if only I had-"

"It's not your fault Jacob. You saved me. He would have gotten me too if you hadn't…" His lips crushed down on mine.

"I will never let him touch you."

He picked me up in his arms, carrying me over to his bedroom and sitting us on his bed. He rocked me while I cried myself to sleep, placing gentle kisses all over my hair and face.

* * *

I had convinced myself that it had all been a dream, but when I opened my eyes I realized that I was still in Jacob's room. He was holding onto me tightly, and I didn't want to let myself think of anything else. I spun around in his arms to face him, and his eyes were looking down at me in concern. I didn't even say good morning, but pulled his face to mine and crushed my lips to his. He seemed to understand how much I needed this, how I needed to just be as close to him as possible, and he laid me down gently.

I didn't want him to be gentle though. I couldn't push his giant body away, but I bit down very hard onto his lip, and he growled. He got the idea though. He ripped my pants off of me while I pulled off my shirt and bra, and he bit down roughly on my nipple. I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle my cry, but let him know with my eyes that I didn't want him to stop. He slid into me roughly, and I gripped onto him tightly with my thighs. He pumped hard and quickly, and it wasn't long before we were both done, and I fell back limply on the bed, breathing heavily. He covered my body in tender kisses, and I started to cry again. He noticed immediately, and held me tightly and let me work though them.

He helped me take a shower, but it didn't help much. I couldn't think of anything besides Charlie's vacant eyes looking up at me, and the small bloody hole that was centered on his forehead. Something else struck me then.

"What if they try to take me away?" It was the first time I had spoken since last night.

"We won't let that leech anywhere near you. He might have escaped, but we're on full alert right now." The wolves couldn't catch him once he had gotten into the water.

"Not him. Renee. I'm not eighteen yet, what if they try to take me back to the boarding house?"

"I won't let them, we'll just hide you out here for the next couple of weeks. You can write her a letter or something letting her know that you're okay."

I nodded, and decided to do just that. I made Jacob take me back to my place, and he took me into my room to pack my things. It didn't take long, I just had my two suitcases and stuffed the rest of my things into my hiking pack. I paused when I found Charlie's necklace, and cried as I put it on.

Jacob took me to Emily's saying that I needed to be with friends. I didn't argue, as long as he didn't let go of me I didn't care where we went.

Emily pulled me into her arms as soon as we walked in, and held onto me tightly as she told me how sorry she was. I started crying again silently, and Jacob pulled me over to the couch, holding me tightly against him while I curled up on his lap.

* * *

After a few hours I made myself tell them what had happened, and what Elijah had said to me. None of them knew what a Volturi was either, but I felt Jacob vibrate with rage at the idea that the vampire had wanted to take me for some reason, a shield was it? I was just a human girl, I had no idea what he meant by those words, but they played on repeat through my mind.

Our silence was interrupted by a howl in the distance, and my heart clenched. He was back. Jacob stood to leave, and I was gripped by an overwhelming fear. No, I couldn't risk losing him too. I clung to him as he walked to the door with Sam.

"Please Jacob, don't go," I begged him. I don't know how I managed to have any more tears, but I did.

"I'll be fine Belle, this is what we do," he told me confidently. "Don't worry."

"I'm pregnant Jacob."

He froze, and Sam looked between the two of us awkwardly while Jacob stared at me with wide eyes. "I'll see you out there, take a minute," he told him, before running off into the woods.

"You're… pregnant?" I nodded. I wished I could have told him under better circumstances but I would have done anything to prevent him from leaving. His shock slowly morphed into a radiant smile as he rested a hand on my stomach. I held onto that hand as tightly as I could. "Belle… You have no idea how happy this makes me." His voice was thick with emotion, and I smiled in relief. He lifted me into his arms, holding me tightly while he kissed me passionately. I froze when he set me down gently.

"But you're still going," I said knowingly.

"I have to. I need to protect my pack, the tribe… I need to protect you and our child." He knelt down, lifting my shirt and kissing my stomach, before kissing the ring on my hand and then my lips once more.

"I'll be back before you know it," he told me with a smile, then jogged off into the woods.

Emily pulled me back inside while I sobbed loudly. It was getting hard to breathe, and she tried to calm me saying the stress wasn't good for the baby. I made myself calm down and drink the glass of cold water she handed me as I waited by the window, watching the woods where he had disappeared.

* * *

I actually felt it when it happened. The most painful thing I had ever experienced. I had speculated before that it felt like I had shared a soul with Jacob, and when he died, I felt my soul rip into two. Like half of my being was ripped out of me and tossed in a fire. I screamed out in pain, falling to my knees on the wooden floor. My scream was quickly echoed through the forest by the howls of six other wolves, and then everything went black.

* * *

I woke up in time to see the six of them carry his large body into the house, and I ran over and clutched at him, holding him tightly while I sobbed loudly and painfully. Jacob had never been close to cold before, and I knew he was really gone when I laid my head on his cold chest. Leah pulled me away from him, not even flinching when I punched her in the face. She pinned my arms by my sides while she held me.

I glared at Sam, and he knew what I was asking. "The leech is dead."

_And so is my Jacob_._ He died trying to protect me_. I collapsed again, but Leah held me on my feet. I couldn't look at him anymore, and covered my eyes as Leah carried me inside.

* * *

I didn't fall asleep, I couldn't. Even after my cries turned silent and my pain became numbing, I couldn't even close my eyes. They stared into the crowded room, watching the others but seeing nothing. Midnight rolled around, and Embry took me from Leah, carrying me on the long walk down to the beach.

Jacob's shrouded form was resting on an unlit pyre, and we joined the rest of the tribe that had gathered around. Embry left me next to Billy, who was sitting in his wheelchair at the head, eyes red and puffy. I immediately leaned over and hugged him tightly, and he squeezed me back. I had no words. Both his best friend and son were now lost, and it was because of me.

"It's tradition, to burn the members of the tribe quickly, so that their spirits may travel to the heavens with the smoke and join our ancestors. We'll have a real ceremony soon, Rebecca and Sarah should land in tomorrow."

I tried to give him a nod, but couldn't move properly. This all still didn't feel real, but at the same time it was too real, _much much too real._

Billy led the ceremony, and kept me by his side the entire time. I listened as Sam told us about how he had fallen. The vampire had grabbed a hold of Leah, and when he lunged at him, the vampire dropped her and snapped his neck too quickly to be avoided. He died quickly, without pain. He died a hero. His sacrifice had given the rest of the pack the opporuntity to take him down and he had saved Leah's life. I looked at Leah, who was crying while she met my eyes. I had never seen her cry before.

"The last thing that went through his mind was your name, Belle. He loved you more than anything in the world."

They all seemed to be waiting for me to say something. I walked slowly towards his shrouded figure, and placed my hand on his shoulder.

"Jacob was everything to me. He taught me how to live again. I was only a broken piece of a human when I met him, and he healed me, and made me whole again. I've never loved anything as much as I loved him. He asked me to marry him two days ago, and I thought… I thought that we'd…" _I thought we would have forever. That we would grow old together, and watch our children grow, and our children's children…_ It was too much, and I fell to my knees again, gripping at my chest tightly. It hurt so much, there weren't any words to describe it. I felt like my body would fall apart from the pain, and wrapped my arms around myself trying to hold it together. I'm not sure who helped me up, but they held me while I wailed as they lighted the pyre. I tried to lunge forward, wanting noting except to be burning with him, but whoever was holding me tightened their grip and didn't let me move. I would rather that than living without him. I stayed by his side until the sun rose, and the embers had cooled and crumbled to ashes. Sam delicately scooped them up, placing them in a wooden urn. He closed it, and walked over to me. I took the urn, and clutched it tightly to my chest.

They brought me back to Emily's house, and I went to the last spot where Jacob had held me in his arms.

Sam sounded so far away, I barely heard his words as he offered for me to stay here. They didn't want me to be taken away.

* * *

I sat there, clutching Jacob's earn for two days. I couldn't eat at first, but Emily knew the only thing that could have summoned any life in me. "Belle, you're going to make yourself sick. You need to eat. Your baby needs to eat."

One of my hands fluttered to my stomach. I could still feel Jacob's lips against it. Jacob's child. I still carried a living piece of him inside of me, and I needed to protect him. Our child would be Ephraim Black's last living heir, he would grow to be the tribe's next leader. I slowly picked up the sandwich she had set in front of me, and watched her relief when I took a bite.

It was easier to just shut off my mind. I had a reason to keep living, though I wasn't sure that I would be able to. I cleaned Emily's house, showered and cooked, all in complete silence. I couldn't even look at any of their faces, because all I saw was Jacob. I shut everything down inside of me, concentrating only on moving. I had to leave when Paul imprinted on Jacob's sister at the funeral, it was just too much. I gave Jacob's ashes to Billy, even though it was my right as Jacob's spirit wife to keep them. I had kept some in a small container for myself, that I kept in the small beaded pouch that he had given me to hold the wolf he had carved. Billy should have the rest. He thanked me with tears in his eyes, and I knew that I had done the right thing.

I couldn't even introduce myself to his sisters, they looked too much like him.

Charlie's funeral was the next day. His work had organized the ceremony, and I sat in the front row next to Billy and Harry while they lowered his casket into the ground. When I stood up afterwards I saw Renee weaving through the crowd towards me and I ran as quickly as I could into the woods, where a large black wolf was waiting for me. I jumped onto his back, and he ran me back to Emily's before I could be taken away.

Once I got back, I wrote a letter to Renee, telling her that I was alright, but couldn't take the chance of being brought back to the home. I would call her on my birthday.

* * *

Three long weeks passed, and the pain didn't lessen in the slightest. My body seemed to go through withdrawls from the lack of human contact. Before he died, I don't think I had gone more than half a day without his touch, without his kiss. Even surrounded by my entire pack, I felt so completely alone. I kept myself busy to avoid thinking, and tried to make my presence in Emily's house less of a burden. I cooked and cleaned with her, and ate three meals a day. My stomach had started to grow, and I had the smallest baby bump protruding between my hips now. I laid my hand there often, my only reason for still being here.

I loved the pack, they were my family, but that was why I had to leave them. When I loved someone too much, they tended to die. I wrapped my hands around my abdomen protectively, and wished to whatever gods were out there that he would be spared from that curse. I just needed some distance for a while at least, I would come back with our child so that he would know his family, but until then I just couldn't bear to be here anymore.

I woke up early on my eighteenth birthday, and said goodbye to Emily as Sam threw my bags into the bed of my truck. I had my purse over one shoulder, and was clutching a tin box against my chest.

While I had been packing last night, I had put my most prized possessions into that tin. My dream catcher, my worn bracelet, Jacob's ashes and the small russet colored wooden wolf he had made me. I had taken every picture of him out of my photo album and placed them in there too. I had ripped apart my black dress in a fit of rage when I went to stuff it in my suitcase, and used a piece of the fabric to wrap up the box, keeping it securely closed. That dress had been meant for a day of celebration, but had been darkened by attending the funerals of the two men that I had loved most. I couldn't bring myself to take off his ring though.

Emily hugged me tightly, eyes full of tears. I had used all of mine already.

"Thank you for all of your help," I said, trying not the let the dead sound of my voice bother me too much.

"You don't have to leave you know, you're family. We love you Belle, and would be happy to have you stay."

"I can't stay right now Emily… It's just too painful. I'm sorry."

Sam set one hand on my shoulder, and rested the other one gently on my stomach. "You _are_ family Belle. Please don't forget that. You will always be a part of this pack."

They made me promise to be careful and to stay in touch with them, and I waved as I pulled out of their driveway. I stopped at Billy's on the way out of town.

He seemed glad to see me, and invited me inside. I couldn't go in there though, the first place I had met Jacob, where we spent so many nights curled up on his couch, the last place where we had made love…

I was happy for him that Rebecca had stayed, and relieved that he still had someone to help take care of him. I fished into my pocket, and handed him the key to Charlie's house.

"I'm going to be leaving for a while, I wanted you to have this. You can take whatever you want from the house. I have everything that I need."

He looked at me sadly, and nodded. I didn't have anything else to say, so I said goodbye, and walked back to my truck.

"He would want you to be happy Isabelle, and to go on living your life."

I spun to glare back at him. "He was my life Billy. He knew that, but he left anyways, and now he's gone." I jumped into my car, slamming the door, and sped off of the reservation.

* * *

The pouring rain reflected my mood as I made the long drive up to Seattle. My wet clothes clung to my skin as I walked into Renee's work, and found my way over to her desk. She looked up when I stopped in front of her, eyes going wide. She shot up to her feet, running around her desk to hug me. I didn't move.

"Isabelle, I was so worried about you. Are you okay? How are you doing?"

I didn't answer her, but just gave her a pointed, empty look. She regarded me with sympathy, and I turned away angrily. This pregnancy was really messing with my hormones.

"I'm eighteen today Renee. I came to collect my trust fund, and then I'm leaving."

She nodded sadly, and motioned for me to sit down. Her eyes went wide as she took in the engagement ring on my hand resting on the small bump on my stomach. "Isabelle, are you?"

"Yes." There was no point in lying to her.

"And the Father?"

"Dead." She reached over to take my hand, and I flinched away from her. I didn't want to catch up, I just wanted to be alone with my child. She seemed to realize that after a moment.

"It will take about a week to get everything in order. I'll need you to come back in a couple days to sign the paperwork, and bring me your banking information so that it can be deposited. I can get most of it done tomorrow if you'd like to come in on Friday."

"Okay, I'll see you Friday then." I stood to leave.

"Wait, Isabelle… I was also contacted by Charlie's lawyer. He left everything to you also. The house is yours too."

"I don't want it."

She nodded. "If you would like, he can liquidate the house and its contents for you."

"I would appreciate that. Thank you. If you could just have him speak with Billy Black before he sells anything, he was Charlie's best friend. I already gave him a key, but I want the lawyer to know that he can have anything he wants."

She nodded, writing down the name, and she let me leave. There was a hotel not far away down the street, and I checked in, saying I'd need a room for a week. The desk clerk gave me an odd look, but when I offered to pay upfront, she smiled and had someone carry my things up to my room.

* * *

The next day, I stopped at the bank to get the paperwork I needed, and also withdrew the contents of my safety deposit box so I wouldn't have to come back. It's where I had kept all of my mother's jewelry, her wedding rings, necklaces and broaches. I had an appointment with a doctor here that I had booked a few weeks ago, and made it over there with time to spare. The receptionist greeted me happily, and led me to a bright, clean room.

The doctor came in shortly afterwards. She was a very sweet woman, gentle with her words as we went over my medical history. She took some blood for a test, and came back shortly afterwards to give me an ultrasound. When I heard the strange sound of my baby's heartbeat, I smiled for the first time since Charlie's death.

It only lasted a second though._ Jacob should be here beside me, holding my hand._ I could clearly see what his face would have looked like in my mind, the way he would have smiled down at me, kissed me and held me with tears of joy in his eyes.

She told me that I had a completely healthy two month old baby. I was relieved that he hadn't been harmed by my recent emotional state. The doctor wrote down the name of a brand of prenatal vitamins that I should take, and told me to schedule another visit to see her again in a month.

I picked up the pills on the way back to the hotel, along with some food, and laid awake in my bed for the rest of the day.

* * *

The week went by slowly, and I passed the time by visiting my mother each day. I sat on the grass in front of her grave, and told her everything. Every single moment of my time in Forks. She was the only person I could talk to, and like the other people who I loved most in my life, she wasn't even alive. It felt nice to just be able to say the words out loud though. They had been sitting inside of me silently for too long. Whenever the wind blew by, I tried to pretend it was her, trying to embrace me from the other side.

The paperwork went through easily, and both of my inheritances were transferred over to my name. Renee told me that when everything was done with the house, that would be transferred automatically also.

I thanked her for her help, and even let her give me another hug.

"Where will you go?"

"I don't know yet. Just anywhere that's not here." I hadn't thought of much after that. I wanted to find my own private place in the world, and just be there with our child. Maybe if I got far enough away, it wouldn't be as painful just to keep breathing.

I saw a tear drop down her cheek before I turned to walk away. I just couldn't handle her pain on top of my own, but I was sad to have hurt her.

* * *

I had no idea where I was going. All I concentrated on were the lines on the road. I was about as far west as I could be, so the logical thing to me seemed to be to go east, and that's what I did. I would stop at motels when I got tired, or eat food when I got hungry, but everything seemed to pass me by in a blur.

I ended up crossing the border into Canada after a little more than a week, the sign for Newcastle piquing my interest. Something similar to home, but far enough away that it wouldn't feel like it. My steering wheel seemed to turn on its own, taking me down an exit and onto a smaller highway.

It didn't seem like much of a highway to me. The roads were dark and empty, and the two lanes of adjacent traffic were joined together. My eyes were starting to feel heavy, and I noticed that it was almost three in the morning. I decided that I would pull into the next hotel I saw.

I squinted in the lights of the car coming towards me. He was driving with his high beams on, and I flashed mine at him in warning. He completely ignored me as he drove closer. His car swerved suddenly, and pulled into my lane. I was able to dodge him, but the wheel of my truck caught on the side of the road. My truck seemed to roll in slow motion, and when my head hit the ceiling painfully hard, my vision went black.

I was happy in that blackness. Maybe Jacob would be waiting for me here.

* * *

I knew that I needed to be here, but I still didn't know _why_. When I saw myself a few hours ago, standing here behind the treeline off of the highway on the way into town, I just knew that it was important, nothing else.

I watched as the doe darted out into the road in front of a black Honda civic. The car swerved into the on-coming lane towards an old red Chevy. I saw myself pulling the girl out of the truck before she swerved out of the way, flipping the giant beast of a vehicle into the ditch. I saw the flickers of unmade choices in the man's future, and listened to them in the back of my mind as he fled the scene. If he had stayed, he would have been charged for impaired driving.

I didn't have time to worry about him though. Knowing what the scene would be only a second before, I held my breath. What was it about this girl that was messing with my visions? They just didn't seem to work properly with her.

There were no other vehicles in sight as I shot across the highway and ripped open the crumpled door to the truck. She was fastened in her seat belt, hanging upside down. The only major damage to the truck seemed to be the windshield and the driver's side door, but she hadn't been as lucky. The majority of her left side had been crushed. Her arm looked broken in at least two places it looked like, and her leg was distorted into a frightening position, but it was the foot-long triangle of glass that was protruding from her abdomen that held my attention.

A whole four seconds had passed since she hit the ditch, and I quickly debated on what I should do.

_I'll change her_. I saw her horrified, crimson eyes looking back at me in horror and loathing, then she threw herself into a fire.

The hospital is only five miles away. Then realization hit. This was _her_, William's singer. The girl that our family had fled from twice. What was she doing on the opposite side of the continent?

William wasn't here though. _I'll bring her to Carlisle_. She'll survive her injuries. I flipped open my phone and gave Carlisle a heads up. I didn't hesitate as I gently maneuvered her out of the harness, trying to shift her as little as possible. I ignored the flames that tore at the inside of my throat as I felt her hot blood soaking through my shirt. There was so much of it, everywhere. The glass of the shattered windshield had peppered all of her exposed skin with cuts; all over her face, neck and arms. As I got closer to the hospital, I started seeing more small flickers of her future. She would be all alone through a long process of healing and rehabilitation. No one was going to come here, she would stay in this hospital by herself until she healed, and I couldn't see any further than that.

The images of her face in those flashes shot pain through my still heart. There was nothing in them; no joy or happiness, nor any sadness, anger or pain. She looked completely empty, lifeless.

The feeling that had been in the vision that brought me to this moment had been similar to the ones that brought me to the rest of my family. I knew that she would be an important part of my life, that I would love her like a best friend or sister, but something was preventing me from _seeing_ it properly, not giving me any actual images of it.

I needed to help her. The family would want to leave again for William, but I couldn't leave my best friend alone like this, not to let her go through that future alone. I had already graduated school here, I could cancel on Harvard and get a job at the hospital. _I would stay_, alone if we had to. I knew Jasper would stay with me anywhere.

As soon as I decided, I saw it. She would grow to like me, but it would take some time. I saw myself making her smile, and how that expression would completely change her. I saw her holding my hand, touching my shoulder or arm, completely at ease with my cold stone body. This human would be completely comfortable around me, a vampire. She would consider me her best friend, and it will give her a reason to want to stay. She might look for a job and an apartment in the area.

Carlisle was waiting inside the treeline, eyes going wide when he took in the sight of me, and immediately went into work mode.

"How long since the accident?"

"Two minutes and seven seconds, I'm sorry, I had to be careful-"

"It's okay Alice, you did very well. Here. Lie her down on the gurney," he said as he rushed us into the empty parking lot. I gently did as he said, and then he saw her face. "Alice! This is-"

"Carlisle, please! She's bleeding so quickly."

"Of course, sorry. That can wait." We ran through the parking lot more quickly than we should have. "Alice, this is really bad. I'm not sure-"

"You'll save her Carlisle, I saw it." He relaxed slightly, grateful for the reassurance. ""I have to call Emmett, I'll come right-"

"This will take a while sweetheart, go get cleaned up." He saw my panicked expression. "I'll take care of her Alice, she'll be safe with me." He didn't spare any more time to console me as he was swarmed by nurses and pushed her into an operating room with a determined expression.

I knew it would be better if less people saw me like this, and I was able to sneak out at my usual speed knowing no one would see me. As soon as I was safely hidden in the trees, I stopped and closed my eyes.

I saw Carlisle coming out of surgery in seven hours. He was going to tell me that aside from the broken bones and cuts, she had hit her head very badly, and that she had also been almost three months pregnant. They baby didn't make it.

I had already known that she would be alone because no one would be coming to visit the hospital, but I hadn't realized just _how_ alone she would be. How would you even begin to comfort someone for something like that?

I saw her waking up after three weeks and four days. I had considered calling Emmett to move the truck for me before it was found, but I had plenty of time right now and wanted it done carefully.

I was back to the truck in almost a minute. I had been lucky, it was now just a few minutes past three in the morning. The roads were very quiet, and I had only been gone about ten minutes. There would be a trucker driving by in another three though, so I quickly picked the truck up, carrying it on its side so it would fit between the trees more easily, and hid it out of sight in the woods. Now I could just say that I had found her like that in the parking lot and brought her inside. No one would ask any questions.

I dashed back and forth between the truck and the ditch, picking up every little piece of evidence that I could find. None of it was heavy, just awkward to carry all at once. I only stopped when the truck was driving by, and when I had finished.

When I was done, I hopped up into the bed of the truck to inspect my findings. I piled together all of the glass and truck debris, pushing it off to the side. Looking at her things, I was immediately grateful that I had chosen to do this myself. For all I knew, these could be all of her worldly possessions. There wasn't much; A hiking bag with some towels, clothes and a toiletry bag. There was a bottle of prenatal vitamins in there. I saw her opening the bag and having a panic attack when she saw them, so I threw them into my garbage pile with all of the glass. She also had two suitcases, one was more clothes, and the other one was closed with a small lock. I was disappointed at first with her wardrobe, seeing mostly jeans, t-shirts and sweaters, but there were some other things hidden in there too. A few stylish blouses, a really nice pair of shoes, a few really cute camisoles and a beautiful, soft peach-colored dress. _Okay, I can work with this_. I noticed that we were almost the same size, so I threw my blood-soaked shirt into the garbage pile and took one of hers. She wouldn't mind me taking the blue V-neck, she wasn't very fond of the color.

Wanting to know more about her, I easily picked the small lock on the other suitcase with one of her bobby pins. She must have the key on her, because I didn't find it in her purse. A large portion of it was taken up by an old, worn quilt. There were two photo albums, a digital camera, a small wooden box with a few pieces of jewelry in it, a couple books, a stuffed panda, a pocket knife, pepper spray and a large manila envelope filled with papers.

Her birth certificate was inside, along with a copy of her health insurance; I noted that there was no emergency contact, but she had a really good plan that would cover her long stay in the hospital. I decided that I would pay the difference to have her put into a private room though. Her Diploma from Forks High School was in there, along with her paperwork for Washington State. She had gotten a really impressive scholarship, and I only had to wonder for a moment why she wasn't there right now. I found a copy of some adoption papers. She had been adopted by Charlie Swan, who I remembered quite well from our stay in Forks. Behind those were his death certificate and a copy of his will. My dead heart clenched painfully. There were two more death certificates in there for each of her birth parents, along with the documents for her inheritance from the liquidation of their assets after her father's death, and a bunch of banking documents.

All of the pieces started to fit together like a blurry puzzle. I could only speculate on what brought her here, and I guessed that she may have been trying to escape the pain that her last home must have caused her after Charlie's death. Maybe I didn't see her coming this time because she hadn't actually _planned_ on coming here. That didn't explain the blurriness of my other visions of her though.

There was only one other thing that I had found, a small tin box wrapped tightly in a black, lacy material. I was painfully curious about what was rattling inside; maybe it would give me some information about the father of her child, but something stopped me from untying it.

She was going to be relieved when I told her that the truck was okay. I had planned on getting Rosalie to fix the door and replace the windshield. Apparently the old beast was very important to her, along with the contents of her locked suitcase, but this little box was her most beloved possession. I decided that I didn't want to intrude on this, but swore that I would protect my best friend's important memories with my life.

I dug a hole and buried my pile of evidence that wasn't needed. Even without my blood-soaked shirt, I knew that my family would question me carrying home a damaged truck. Rosalie was in the garage with Emmett when I brought it inside. They both watched me curiously as I set it down, but Rose smiled a little.

"I loved those old trucks, always thought they were beautiful. Truck designs these days have no character. No personality or flare." She appeared by my side, inspecting the damage, and winced slightly at the smell of blood.

"Alice, did you?..."

"No, of course not. Do you think you can fix it?"

"Of course, the damage isn't too bad. I'll have to have a new windshield custom made, it's not like they make this model anymore. The door will be easy. She could really use a new-"

"No. No new paint job or anything extra. The truck has a lot of sentimental value to my friend, I don't think she would be happy with surprise alterations."

"You have friends Alice? Since when?" Emmett asked teasingly, laughing at his own joke.

Rose ignored him. "Whose is it?"

"I can't explain properly at the moment. I'll tell you later."

"Sure," she said suspiciously. I loved Rose like a sister, but she wasn't my friend like Isabelle would be. We got along fine, but we didn't spend much time together or talk a lot. We had never really connected that way. I got along with all of my family, I loved them all, but even Jasper couldn't fill the small void in my life that was in need of a real friend.

I brought her things up into my room and stored them in my closet. No one would even _dare_ going in there. Jasper and William were just getting back from their hunting trip. I grabbed Jasper as soon as he came in through the window, and led him far enough away that William wouldn't be able to hear our thoughts. He followed without question, but I could tell he was worried. I told him everything; my weird vision, the crash, her injuries, what I knew had happened to her, what I saw her being like when she woke up, and how she would eventually become my best friend. I could tell that he didn't completely understand my draw to her, but he told me that he would stand by me anyways, even if it meant breaking off from the rest of the family. He came back to the hospital with me to avoid William's mind until Carlisle was done.

* * *

Carlisle had told everyone that we needed to have a family meeting, and they were all waiting for us around the large oak table in the dining room. William rested his face is his hands sadly before Carlisle even sat down.

"Alice pulled Isabelle Larose out of a car crash on the border of town early this morning." Everyone's eyes went wide; they all remembered the name of course. William's singer, the reason he had left his job in Seattle, and afterwards the reason why we had all moved away from Forks.

"I thought she was living with Charlie Swan in Forks. Is she going to be okay?" Esme had felt bad for the child after she had been orphaned, and had been relieved later on when I let them know that she would be fostered by the Chief of Police. She liked him.

"She'll survive her injuries, but she won't wake up for three weeks and four days. She won't be alright afterwards either. Charlie ended up adopting her at the beginning of the year, but he's dead. Gunshot wound to the head from a robbery in his own home." I could see from Esme's expression that she would be crying if she could.

"So when are we leaving?" Emmett asked easily. William still hadn't looked up yet, and Esme put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"We can have everything packed up in-"

"I'm staying," I said, cutting off Carlisle and finally snapping Will out of his self-pity.

"_We're_ staying," Jasper corrected gently, entwining his fingers through mine.

"Why?" Esme asked, eyes filled with pain at the idea of splitting up our family.

"She's my best friend, and she needs my help. She has no family, no one is going to come here. She's going to be alone while she stays at the hospital and heals, which will take a very long time. She just lost her second father," William flinched, "And she just lost her baby in the accident. She needs me, and I love her too much to leave her. I'm sorry."

"She was pregnant?" Esme asked Carlisle softly.

"Yes, she was just finishing her first trimester. The child died on impact, he didn't suffer." Esme and Rosalie both looked down sadly. Esme knew what it was like to lose a child, and Rosalie knew what it was like to lose the opportunity to have a child. It was a hard subject for the both of them.

Everyone watched me for a couple of minutes, which is a really long time for a vampire, not knowing what to say before looking over to William for a solution.

"You've never even spoken to her before Alice."

"You know that doesn't matter." I showed him my blurry visions of myself with my human best friend, and he raised an eyebrow curiously at the image of her being so comfortable around a vampire. It's not that humans knew what we were, but there was something about us that usually triggered an instinct to be wary and flee. Apparently, Isabelle didn't have that natural response.

He looked carefully around the room at the others, no doubt wading through their thoughts. He knew that my decision was final. I would bet that the others didn't want to really leave either, but also didn't want to make him suffer. When he looked at Esme, I saw his choice solidify before he spoke.

"We'll stay. This is my problem, and my fault, and I need to learn to live with the consequences. Besides, she'll probably just find me again if we leave. I'll learn to deal with the rest."

Some shot him sympathetic glances, but no one argued.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	10. Chapter Ten: Vampires

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. Caution: ****Will contain mature language and subject matter.**

**Chapter Ten :: Vampires**

I was so disoriented. The blackness seemed to fade away slowly, and the silence was broken into by a steady, annoying beeping sound. I hurt everywhere, and I couldn't move my left arm or leg. My head was so fuzzy.

Then I remembered the high beams on the road, the car swerving in front of me, the truck catching on the edge of the road and flipping over almost in slow motion…

My eyes shot open, and the light was blinding. It looked like I was in a hospital room, but I was too disoriented to really takes things in. There was only one thing in my mind, and my hand shot immediately to my stomach. My incredibly flat, empty stomach.

I screamed, the shrill sound echoing in my ears then I groaned from the painful feeling in my incredibly dry throat. My eyes flooded immediately with tears that over flowed. _No, not my baby_. He was all I had left. How could I fail him like this, fail Jacob like this? The beeping of the machine sped up, and I started ripping the wires off of myself in a fit of rage.

"Hey! Sshhh, you're okay. You're in a hospital in New Brunswick, but you're going to be fine."

Apparently I wasn't alone, but my guest had been too silent to notice. I searched for the sound of her voice, and found a small woman by my side. I completely froze.

She was about my size, maybe a tiny bit shorter, with short black, spiky hair. Her face was very pale, eerily pale with almost an airbrushed quality to it and her big, golden yellow eyes stared back at me. As soon as I felt the burning acid start to rise up my throat, she was putting a garbage can in front of me and I was quickly, violently sick. The heaving motions intensified the pain everywhere. My head, back, left arm and leg, ribs and worst of all my stomach. I could feel the painful gash stretching across, but even if I wasn't too preoccupied being sick I was too afraid to look at what was causing it. There wasn't anything besides the acid in my stomach to purge so once I stopped heaving I just sat there, taking in short painful gasps while clutching at myself with the one arm I could move.

I instantly knew that she was a vampire. Even without the red eyes. But that must mean that she didn't drink from humans, right? Was this one of the Cullen vampires that Jacob had told me about? I wasn't protected by my pack now, and I knew that they were just as protective about their secret as the wolves were so I tried to hide my recognition. It wasn't hard, as I couldn't concentrate on her for more than a few seconds. My mind was too filled with pain. Too many different types of pain. I couldn't breathe through my tears, and my whole body started to tremble.

Someone came into my room then, a Doctor in a white lab coat. He looked to be in his late twenties, and had the same pale skin and yellow eyes as the girl behind me. Another vampire. He took in my state; my one free hand clutching at my stomach, eyes spilling over as I tried to breathe again, all of the wires and stickers ripped off of myself. He dashed over to my side, a little _too_ quickly. He looked into my eyes with a piercing, concerned gaze and I couldn't seem to look away.

"Isabelle, my name is Doctor Cullen, I'm your attending physician here at St. Mary's," he told me in a calm, soothing voice. _So I was right_. "I need you to try and calm down Isabelle. Breathe in, and breathe out. It's okay." He mimicked a deep breath in, and another long breath out. Did he even need that air? He kept repeating the motion for me, and patiently waited as I tried to match his rhythm. It started to help after a while. Now I was just crying silently, hiccoughing every once in a while and shaking. While he had been helping me though, something clicked in.

This was _the_ Doctor Cullen. The one that performed the surgery on me two years ago. His face had been blurry in my memories, but I couldn't forget those unique eyes. They weren't yellow like Jacob had said, they were gold, and much too beautiful to be human. Well, I guessed that they weren't that unique after all. There was a whole coven of them.

I clutched at my shirt tightly. "My baby…" It was so painful to speak, and I barely heard the words myself as I tried to force them out.

"I'm very sorry Isabelle. He didn't suffer though, it was very quick."

"How?" He hesitated, and I looked up at him sternly. "I want to know how," I told him firmly through my tears. He didn't seem to have any trouble understanding the choking hiss of my quiet voice.

"Your windshield shattered. A large piece of glass was wedged into your abdomen when you were brought in. My daughter here, Alice, was the one who had found you. I don't think you would have survived if she hadn't gotten you here so quickly."

I looked back at her again, and she offered me a smile. Yeah, I knew just how fast vampires could be. I'd seen it. I couldn't bring myself to thank her for saving me, and couldn't bring myself to look into her eyes either. I didn't want to look at either of them for fear of becoming trapped in their captivating eyes and giving myself away. After a few minutes of silence they seemed to realize that I had nothing to say.

"She's been worried sick about you, barely left your side while you were out."

I realized I had no idea how long that had been, and this seemed important for some reason. "When?"

"Almost four weeks ago," she said quietly.

"Isabelle, is there someone that we can call for you? There was no emergency contact in your file."

I shook my head once, not meeting either of their faces. I laid back against my pillow and closed my eyes tightly. I was definitely cursed, death seemed to be waiting for me behind every turn. It felt as though I was living in his shadow, but he wasn't merciful enough to just take me himself. I couldn't go back to my pack, I knew if I called them they would be here in an instant and I couldn't endanger them. There was nothing Renee could do, or Angela who was off at college now. There was no way I could go back to them, I couldn't risk it. I loved them too much.

My eyes flashed open when I felt the ice cold contact of his skin. The vampire was so close to me, attempting to attach the IV back into my arms. I ripped it away from him, warning him with an enraged gaze. Golden eyes or not, it was his kind that destroyed my life, my love. There was no way I would let him touch me again. I don't care if he _saved _me. Either of them.

"I need to re-attach this, your body needs the medication and the vitamins Isabelle. Your-"

"Don't you fucking touch me," I hissed painfully. He took a step back, and I swear I saw fear with the look of shock in his face. The fact that I made the leech afraid didn't provide any gratification though.

"I'm sorry. We'll give you some time to rest. Come on, Alice."

"Just a sec," she said, and took something out of her pocket. She held out her hand to me, and when I didn't respond, she gave me a sad smile and sat the contents of her hand beside me on my bed. "I'm sorry, but I held onto them for you. I just wanted to make sure they didn't get lost or stolen." I stared at my engagement ring and Charlie's necklace.

I waited until they left and snatched up the items, siding my wrist through the necklace and wrapping it around a second time, then holding Jacob's ring. My entire left side was encased in one solid, bulky piece of plaster, and I couldn't reach my hand. My sobs started up again then, and I choked on them while maneuvering the ring onto my right hand instead with my teeth before I let myself crumble completely. I cried and cried until there were no more tears left in me and drifted into my familiar numbness.

_There was nothing I could do to bring any of them back. _The totality of the loneliness became all consuming, Nothing else even mattered.

* * *

Dr. Cullen came back later in the evening. He brought in a tray with a glass of juice and a glass of water, and asked me if I could drink something. I ignored him, and he told me that my body needed fluids or something. I flinched away from him, but he caught me with those intense eyes again and I was trapped. With a strangely human expression of sadness he told me that if I wouldn't drink he needed to attach my IV again. I pretended that he wasn't there as he re-attached my heart rate monitor, blood pressure cuff and then the IV.

"And this one is your morphine drip-" He said in a gentle voice. I pulled away again quickly, shaking my head. The IV jerked uncomfortably in the crook of my elbow. "Isabelle, your injuries were very extensive, your body needs it to-"

"No," I hissed at him, glaring.

"You will be in too much pain without it. " He took my arm them, despite how gentle the grip was his hand felt like iced stone as it easily wrapped around my arm. "I'm sorry but-"

"NO!" I screamed, and could taste blood in my mouth from its dry skin cracking. I thrashed around in fury and screamed until he let go of my arm. I met his horrified gaze with my infuriated one, and he apologized repeatedly and promised he wouldn't keep drugging me against my will. I glared at him until he left my room, then slumped back onto my bed while pulling the numbness back around myself.

* * *

I felt like I was in that room for years. I just wanted to fade away, and hoped that if I pretended hard enough not to exist that it would become my reality. Without my baby to take care of, I didn't really see the point in eating. I was always tired but could never sleep because of the pain, though sometimes I seemed to drift in and out for short periods of time. The fact that I wasn't alone a lot of the time made it hard too.

The small vampire, Alice, seemed to be a little attached to me for some reason. Despite my silent, indifferent attitude towards her she kept coming back. I never said a word to her, or the doctor for that matter. It was just easier to pretend like they didn't exit. She was always there though, always talking. I didn't have the energy to ask her to leave, even if I had wanted to talk.

She didn't seem fazed by my silence and chatted constantly and easily to me about pointless things. I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything she said, I felt like I was living in some sort of fuzzy dream. I couldn't keep a steady train of thought for more than a few seconds. When I was alone and couldn't sleep, it would set me into a panic sometimes from being so disoriented, but when she, it, whatever was there, the constant buzz of her voice seemed to make it easier to not to get stuck in my own jumbled mind. A distraction almost, and she had such a comforting, musical voice. After a while, I realized that I didn't hate her company. Her presence actually became a sort of comfort to me.

* * *

I really wanted to sleep. I hadn't been able to for more than a couple minutes at a time since I woke up. How long have I been here? Sure it's been years, and I should have dissolved to dust by now. I shut my eyes, praying for my mind to stop for just a few moments, and that her voice would help me sleep. Before being here, my dreams had been the only place I could see Jacob, and I wanted to see him so badly. They had been both the best and worst parts of my days. Just memories, but they were all I had.

But wait… they weren't really.

She didn't seem surprised when I tried to speak for the first time. She was talking about a special pair of jeans that she had ordered online, frustrated that they were late coming in. I opened my mouth to talk, but nothing would come out.

She was standing beside me then, leaning over my bed and holding a cold glass of water close to my face. She waited though, letting me be the one to decide if I wanted to drink. After a moment, I leaned forward slightly and she brought to cup to my lips. I took a small, excruciating swallow. It felt so good on my dry throat, and I took another larger swallow. After one more though, my stomach started to hurt and I leaned back. She sat back in her chair and watched me expectantly.

"A-Alice," it was so difficult to speak, and my voice was barely a whisper. "Do you know what happened to my things?"

"Yeah, they're at my house. Sorry, but I didn't want anybody messing through your stuff." I felt relieved, the first time in a long time that I had felt anything, really. She was protecting my things? Why? Why was she even here with me still? I was afraid to talk again, dreading the feeling. This was important though. "Would you like me to bring anything here for you?" _Thank you_. I nodded. "What would you like?"

I could only think of one thing, the most important thing. I couldn't wear my clothes with the left side of my body encased in plaster, so I didn't really need anything else. "Tin, Black-" I winced.

"The tin wrapped in black fabric? The kind of lacy fabric?"

I nodded vigorously, it made me feel nauseous.

"Sure, not a problem. Anything else?"

I shook my head, and she went back to talking happily.

* * *

She came by again as usual the next day, greeting me happily as she set down a plate of food on my table. I think I slept a bit more than usual last night, and my head felt a bit clearer. I had been waiting for her, and as I stared at her large purse while she came in she caught on quickly.

"I didn't forget, here you go." She pulled the tin out of her purse, and I clutched it tightly to my chest in relief. It was exactly how I had left it.

I wanted to open in, to glance at the small wooden wolf, or to at least look at one of my pictures of Jacob, but I couldn't do it in front of her. What if she realized who Jacob was, and that I knew their secret? Would they have to kill me to keep it? I'm not sure I would have minded really, but something was stopping me from putting that gun into my mouth. I didn't mind her really. She had protected this for me, after all. I was thankful for that. No, I did not hate this vampire. She seemed so… human.

I reached out and took her cold hand. "_Thank you Alice_." I put as much sincerity into those quiet words as possible.

Her smile was so beautiful. Were all vampires this good looking? It must make it easier for them to lure in their prey. "Don't worry about it, it was nothing." She went on talking, and I tried to make more of an effort to listening this time. Apparently she had decided to take off the year before going to University, but I couldn't remember more than that.

It was hard to keep up with her words, but I did take in her details more closely for the first time since I had woken up. Her skin was flawless, so much so that it was a little odd. She had dark shadows under her eyes too, like she hadn't slept well in a long time. I noticed a routine to her movements also; her breathing was too regular, and she switched from crossing her ankles then crossing her legs exactly every five minutes. It was all a ruse, but a good one at that I had to admit. She moved very gracefully, and completely silently.

Intrigued, I paid closer attention to my Doctor also. The same flawless skin, the dark circles under his eyes, the fluidity of his movements. Besides his breathing, he didn't have the same timed movements that Alice did, but he was kept busy by checking me over. He caught me watching him, actually acknowledging his presence for once, and gave me a gentle smile. I eyed the IV bag that he was replacing warily, and he chuckled.

"If you ate something, I could take it out," he said teasingly.

"Not hungry," I said quietly with a hoarse voice. It felt so weird to talk, and it made me not want to any more.

"I know sweetie. But it will get better."

I don't think he was expecting me to say anything as he had turned around to leave.

"How?"

He turned around curiously. "How what?"

"How do you know that it will get better?"

He looked at me thoughtfully, but answered quickly. "My wife lost a child. It nearly killed her. It's not something that she ever completely got over, but after time she found out that there are other things in life worth living for."

I nodded once, and slumped back against my pillow. He left my room silently. I couldn't say out loud what was running through my mind. _How can you look for things to live for, when everything that you love dies?_

When I was finally alone that night, I set my tin down on my lap. I sat staring at it for hours, trying to make myself open it, but I just couldn't. I wanted to see him so bad that the pain made it almost impossible to breath, but I knew looking inside would be even more painful. I drifted off for a while clutching it to my chest, and pretended it was him that I was holding.

* * *

The next day, Alice brought in someone new with her. She was obviously _another_ vampire, and I wondered why they all kept coming to my room. Did they usually take this sort of interest in humans? The woman looked older, about the same age as Doctor Cullen. I noted the ring on her finger, maybe this was the wife he had mentioned.

"Hey Isabelle, this is my Mom, Esme."

"Hello dear, it's really nice to finally meet you. I've been wanting to find out what's been keeping Alice so occupied lately." She was a curvier woman, with a gentle face and loving smile. There was something about her that instantly drew me to her, and I decided that I didn't want this woman to think badly of me.

"Hi," I said quietly, and she immediately smiled. There was something very warming about it.

The two of them pulled up chairs, and started talking to me easily. They didn't ask me too many questions, and I was thankful, because I really didn't want to talk. Or maybe I did? If anyone might understand how I felt, it would probably be her. But she had Doctor Cullen, a husband and a family or coven or whatever it was. She wasn't alone.

Alice excused herself, saying that she had to go make a phone call, leaving me alone with Esme. I peeked up at her, and realized that she had been watching me.

"Isabelle, how are you feeling?" It wasn't an unusual question, but I could hear the double meaning behind it. I decided to answer her truthfully. I felt an urge to talk to this woman for some reason, and I didn't want to lie to her.

"I don't know," I whispered. I winced trying to form the words, and she held out a glass of water to me. I analyzed her face for another moment before cautiously leaning forward and taking a sip. The first gulp was only slightly painful, but soothing at the same time. I wanted more, and swallowed again. I became greedier, and almost choked on the fourth swallow. She pulled away the glass, and hesitated for only a moment as I painfully coughed before rubbing my back soothingly. It felt nice. When was the last time someone had touched me like this? I didn't know, and tried to block out the picture of Jacobs arms wrapping around me. Once my breathing settled into something more regular, I lifted a shaking hand in the direction of the glass of water, and she brought it back to my mouth. She ensured that I took smaller sips this time, but let me finish the glass. My throat and mouth felt so much better, but I was so full that I thought I might be sick.

"Are you okay dear? Do you want me to call Carlisle?" She was looking at me with concern, and I wondered how bad I looked for the first time. I felt a slight sheen of sweat on my forehead from the pain of coughing, and I was shaking slightly, but I didn't want him to come. I didn't want him to drug me. Even if they didn't seem to want to kill me, the thought of being medicated around them and somehow slipping up was terrifying. And I deserved this pain, they were all dead because of me. I shook my head. I could feel her watching me, and I refused to let her see the fear in my eyes.

She was silent for a few minutes before she spoke again. "I don't know if my husband told you, but I lost a child once." I looked up at her in surprise. "Please excuse him for his indiscretion. He's just worried about you."

"I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for dear. It's okay. I know how hard it is."

I could hear it in her voice, the pain I felt. I couldn't help feeling sympathetic, I wouldn't wish my pain on anyone. Actually, that was a lie. I wished it on the Volturi, but not this gentle vampire beside me. "How old was he?"

She smiled sadly. "Two days. Two very short days."

"How did you deal with it?" I needed to know, to hear it from her, and I realized that I still had a flicker of hope inside of me. How foolish.

"Not well. I met Carlisle shortly after and things got a little better. My ex-husband wasn't… a very nice man."

"My fiancé wasn't." I said, choking on the words.

"Wasn't what Dear?" She said, seeming a bit confused by my words. Would that have made it easier? Losing him if he hadn't been so perfect? I couldn't even picture it, because that would have been impossible. I stared at her for a long minute, the tears swimming in my eyes made her blurry. She reached out, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder as she carefully slid onto the edge of my bed. Her comforting touch broke me then, and I couldn't keep the words inside anymore. "He wasn't a bad man. He was a great man. He loved me more than anything, just like I did him. He died, two days after he asked me to marry him. The same day I had told him about our baby. He was so happy, and then…" The words came out in a rush, and caught in my throat with my breath as pain shot through my chest. I clutched at my heart, trying to push the feeling away.

She pulled me into a hug quickly, and I surprised myself when I gripped onto her. I wanted the contact, the physical feeling that there was someone there, that I wasn't completely alone. I need it so badly, and was glad what she didn't let me go. I didn't even care about her cold and hard skin. She let me sob against her shoulder, murmuring that it would be okay, and that she was so sorry.

I'm not sure how long she held me. My breathing eventually calmed down though, she had a very soothing presence about her. It was like she radiated love, and I realized that she reminded me a lot of my own mother.

"Thank you, Esme."

She surprised me by kissing me on the forehead. "You have nothing to thank me for sweetie."

Alice came back shortly afterwards, and I tried to listen attentively while they talked. I was actually a little sad this time when they left, but Alice assured me that she would be back tomorrow.

"Would you mind if I came back to visit too?" Esme asked a little nervously.

"I'd like that," I told her honestly. I tried to smile, but the motion just wouldn't work properly on my face.

* * *

I hadn't actually been asleep, as usual, only keeping my eyes closed while I drowned in the silence of the room, so I heard when the door to my room closed quietly.

I didn't hear him, but I could feel someone watching me in the dimly lit room.

He looked surprised when I opened my eyes quickly and took him in. It looked like he had debated running, but he had already been caught. There was no point.

I took is his features knowingly. Of course, yet _another_ vampire. He had the same pale skin, but his eyes were solid black. I wasn't afraid, it was becoming just too much of a common occurrence. He was tall, with a lean yet muscular build, and seemed just a few years older than I was. His hair had the most unusual coppery-red colour to it, and looked artfully messy. He was wearing a white lab coat, and regarded me with a pained, yet curious expression on his face. The intensity of his stare intrigued me, and I wondered if it was possible for a vampire to be sick.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, a little concerned. Why did I care?

He gave me a strange look, like I had asked a weird question. It took him a moment to answer. "Yes, I'm fine. Why?"

"Well… you were kind of just silently staring at me in the dark," I pointed out, obviously.

"Oh, yes. Well, Carlisle just asked me to come in and check on you."

That was a lie, Carlisle had said goodbye to me before he had left for the night. He must have had a reason to lie though, and honestly, I didn't really care what it was.

"Well, I'm fine, thanks." I turned my head to the side, looking out the window. The room was so quiet that I thought he may have left, but he hadn't.

"My name is William. William Masen." I turned to look at him, and when I met his black eyes, it seemed like he was concentrating very hard while he looked at me.

"Isabelle," I told him, though he obviously already knew. Why was he staring at me like that?

"Well, it was nice to meet you. Have a nice night."

I just turned my head away again, and this time I heard the door click shut as I watched the moon through my window.

* * *

Carlisle came into my room early the next day, and gave me his usual checkup. I checked behind him to see if Alice or Esme was with him, but they weren't.

"How long will I have to keep these casts on?" He seemed surprised by my forward question.

"A couple of months, sorry. They were really bad breaks though."

I sighed, and he asked if I was okay. "Yeah, I just feel really gross, and it would be nice to take a shower."

He gave me a bright smile, looking almost excited. "Well, I have to change the casts anyways. I think it would be safe to just tape up your ribs, and put separate casts on your arm and leg now. I can do it today, if you would like."

I nodded, and he promised to come back later in the afternoon. I day-dreamed about the promise of a hot shower all morning until Esme and Alice visited again. She sat down happily on the edge of my bed, while Esme took a chair.

"So, we heard that you're getting the body cast off today, are you excited?" I nodded.

"I made you some lunch dear. You'll have to excuse my cooking though; I'm not very good in the kitchen."

I didn't want to offend her or hurt her feelings, not after she went through the trouble of cooking for me which was something I was pretty sure she didn't do often. I picked up the fork, and with a shaking hand, brought a piece of pasta to my mouth. I chewed it slowly. Though I could tell it had been perfectly cooked it was so hard to chew, and it tasted amazing but felt horrible going down my throat. I was only able to take one more bite before my stomach hurt and I fought to not get sick.

"Don't force yourself dear, it's been… a very long time since you've eaten solid food," Esme told me in a gentle voice. I closed my eyes and set down the fork.

"I'm sorry. It's really good though, thank you for making it for me." She smiled happily at me, and I had to look away from the love in her eyes. I was curious by her words though. "How… How long have I been here?"

She looked at me gently, reaching over Alice and taking my hand. "Just over eight weeks now."

I just nodded. It felt so much longer than that.

I can see why the pack had such a hard time hating these vampires. I listened attentively to the two woman as they talked. Esme apparently loved to work with her hands, doing home renovations and such. She started talking about her vegetable garden, and I had to close my eyes tightly, trying to force the image of Charlie's dead eyes staring back at me the last time I had worked on mine out of my mind. I loved that garden, so it was probably dead now too.

* * *

Doctor Cullen came back as promised that afternoon with all of his supplies. I watched in fascination as he cut through the plaster that covered the right side of my body with movements that were a little too fluid and precise. My arms and legs looked horrible; they were mostly black and blue. I wasn't allowed to get up without the casts on, but he did bring me a container of warm soapy water so that I could give myself a gentle sponge bath. I still really wanted to wash my hair, but I was happy to have at least that.

He set both my arm and leg in full casts, and then sat me up gently while he taped my ribs. I was completely exhausted once he was finished.

"Thank you Doctor Cullen," I told him as he was about to leave.

"You don't need to thank me, this is my job sweetie. And please, call me Carlisle." He gave me a happy smile.

"It wasn't your job to get Esme in here to talk to me though. Thank you for that." I was starting to feel slightly guilty for the way I had treated him over… the last five weeks apparently. And I never even thanked him for… That should be safe enough to say, it happened before I went to Forks. "Doctor Cull- ugh, Carlisle." He smiled and nodded. "Thank you for doing the surgery, for saving me. Not just here, but in Seattle too."

He looked really shocked then. "How did you-"

"I saw you once. The medication was really strong, and your face was blurry, but I know it was you. And I saw your name on the paperwork after."

He seemed to search my face for something, I don't know what, but he seemed satisfied after a moment. "Your very welcome Isabelle."

I gave him a nod, and he watched me for a moment before wishing me a goodnight and then left me in my silent room.

* * *

I caught William in my doorway again that night. He was just standing there silently, maybe thinking I couldn't see him. It got a little annoying after a while; he was distracting me from staring at the tin in my lap

"Why don't you just come in?" I offered in a neutral voice. I looked over to find his face looking startled, maybe surprised that I had caught him once again. He waited for only a moment, and then walked over gracefully, stopping at the end of my bed. He just stood there.

I was tempted to tell him he wasn't doing a very good job at blending in right now, humans didn't just stand completely still like that, but I bit the words back. "You can sit if you want," I told him, not really looking at him.

"Thank you," he said politely, and took the chair that Esme had been sitting in earlier.

Why wasn't he talking? Was he stalking me or something? The rest of his coven seemed comfortable around me, but he was obviously not. Maybe I smelt tastier to him or something? I should probably be scared, but I wasn't. Instead, I was curious. I looked up at him again, and I think I saw curiosity in his eyes too. I didn't see why though; he was a novelty, I wasn't.

I felt a little accomplished when he was the one that faltered under my gaze, and had to look away first. Good, I hoped I was making him uncomfortable. He should have a taste of his own medicine. It was suspicious. I refused to be the one to talk first, and he seemed to get that after a bit.

"How are you feeling today?" He asked in a casual tone.

I raised an eyebrow at him. That was a stupid question, but he seemed to want an answer.

"Fine." That's what people wanted to hear when they asked that question, and it was much simpler than telling the truth.

He chuckled slightly. "Liar. What's in the box?"

I held onto it tightly, and tried to keep my voice and breathing steady. "Important things."

He nodded, and I was glad that he didn't push it. He seemed to be concentrating really hard on my face, and I was very much aware how gross I must have looked. "Why are you staring at me?"

He seemed to find my irritation amusing, smiling at the tone of my voice. I scowled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I just find you very… intriguing," he said uncertainly. I looked away from him then, bothered by the comment. It sounded like some sort of insult. I was probably just some mad human that he seemed to be entertained by. I clutched onto my tin for comfort.

"Well, I should probably get back to my rounds," he said. I didn't look back up at him, but just nodded. He got up, and walked over to the door, pausing before opening in it. "Would it be okay if I came to visit you again?"

Well, it would be better than having him lurking in my doorway. "Sure."

He wished me a goodnight, and left my room.

* * *

I had fallen asleep for only a minute last night, but it was enough to frighten me into not even wanting to blink again afterwards. It was just a small flash, an image of Elijah wearing a white lab coat, and staring at me through the doorway to my hospital room with a bloody smile. I was relieved to see Alice when she came in, looking forward to something to distract me.

"Hey Alice," I said when she came in, and she gave me a happy smile. I instantly felt guilty for how rude I had to her over the past month. The disorientation was worse today. I felt distracted and confused, and a little jittery.

"Hey Isabelle, are you feeling okay? You don't look so well this morning."

"I'm fine, just had some trouble sleeping."

"My Dad could probably give you something to help…"

"No, I hate taking medication. I'll be fine, don't worry about it. What's in the bag?"

She smiled, and emptied its contents out on my table. There was a loufa, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, all sorts of little things that I desperately wanted to use. I gave them a longing sigh. "I thought you might want to take a shower."

"Thank you Alice, I really do, but with my casts…"

"I can give you a hand if you want. I volunteer here at the hospital, I've done it plenty of times," she said with an encouraging smile.

I thought about it for a couple minutes, and she waited in easy silence. I desperately wanted that shower, though it felt strange asking her for her help with that. I would be much more comfortable with her than another nurse or one of the doctor's though.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" I asked hesitantly.

"Not at all."

"Well… okay then."

She helped me out of my bed carefully, and I wasn't surprised with how easily she seemed to support my weight. She helped me slowly hobble over to the bathroom, where she sat me down on a bench in the shower. All I was wearing was a hospital gown, so it wasn't hard to get undressed.

My face was burning red as she pretty much treated me like her doll. She wrapped up my casts, temporarily took the bandages off of my ribs, and had me lean back while she washed my hair. Her gentle, ice-cold fingers felt nice against my scalp.

I actually smiled once I got toweled off, I felt like an actual human for the first time since I had woken up. She went to grab me something clean to wear, and I stood shakily on my own to look in the mirror.

I didn't recognize myself. It looked like I had lost too much weight; I could see my bruised ribs sticking out against my skin. I had completely lost the tan that I had worked so hard for over the summer, and there were dark circles under my eyes too, making them look bruised. It was odd knowing that I looked almost as bad as I felt.

None of that even compared to the angry, puckered gash that stretched across my stomach though. I had been avoiding the moment when I would have to look at it for the first time, and was horrified that it looked even worse than it had felt. It was so ugly that I quickly looked away. I needed to sit back down anyways, the room was spinning.

Alice came back in, carrying a pair of comfy looking shorts and a t-shirt in one hand, and another hospital gown in the other. She asked me which ones I wanted with a knowing smile on her face. After assuring me that Carlisle wouldn't mind, she helped me slip the shorts on over my cast, and then did the same thing with the top.

Once they were on I realized that they were not mine and were brand new. Though simple in design, the fabrics were obviously very high quality and incredibly soft. I looked over at my left arm and noticed that the sleeve had been artfully altered. There was a neat slit going down from the shoulder of the sleeve leaving it open to accommodate the bulk of my cast, and was sewn back with a beautiful floral design of stitches. Did she make this for me? I was really touched, it was such a sweet gesture.

She helped me back to my bed, which had been made with new sheets. I wondered if it would be okay to bring my quilt here, remembering that Alice said she had been taking care of my things. My room had a small closet that I could easily fit my things in, and I realized I had never even asked about my truck. My gift from Charlie, the truck that Jacob had fixed up for me, where we spent so many days driving around while curled up next to each other on the long bench. My breathing started to come too fast, and I clutched at the pain in my chest. If Alice hadn't been holding me I probably would have collapsed.

"Isabelle? What's wrong? Are you in pain?" She asked in a concerned voice.

"What happened to my truck?" I asked shakily as she sat me down on the edge of my bed, taking a seat next to me.

"Your truck is fine Isabelle. The damage wasn't too bad actually. I hope you don't mind, but I had the windshield replaced, and got the door fixed up."

I looked at her in surprise. "You had my truck fixed up for me?" She nodded, and I lunged over and hugged her tightly. "Thank you Alice, thank you so much. I don't know how to repay you. I can pay you back for the costs, I have money-"

"It was nothing really, my sister loves working on cars, so it didn't really cost anything. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you." This tiny vampire had done so much for me, and even though I had no idea why, I appreciated it so much.

"Hey, it's okay. It's what friends do, right?"

Friends? I enjoyed her company but… well, I guess that she was the closest thing to a friend that I had. I liked her, and I wanted her to like me too. There was no way I would hurt her feelings by rejecting her. "Right." I confirmed, and her answering smile was brilliant.

She seemed determined to give me a spa day, and she was so excited about it that I couldn't bear to argue with her. So I sat patiently while she French braided my hair, did some sort of weird mask thing on my face, and filed and painted my finger nails. It was weird, but I had to admit it was nice not thinking about everything else for an entire afternoon. I asked about her 'sister' and the rest of her family, deciding that it would probably be a good idea for me to know their cover story so that I didn't blow my own cover. I thought the story was a little weak, two adults who were barely thirty, adopting four adult teenagers? I found it hard to believe that people actually bought that, but kept my face neutral and interested while she spoke. Apparently, my stalker was Esme's 'brother.' Hmm.

It got late, and I was sad to see Alice leaving. "Will you come back tomorrow?" I asked her hopefully.

"Of course. Do you want me to bring anything?"

"If you don't mind… Could you bring my things? I can fit them here in my room, you don't need to hold onto them anymore."

"Sure thing. See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Alice."

* * *

I had drank a glass of juice earlier today to pacify Carlisle, and I urgently needed to use the washroom. It was late at night, and I didn't want to bother the sleepy night staff, so I slowly got out of my bed, using the wall for support as I very painfully hopped over to the washroom on my one good leg. I made it there without incident, and got a little too cocky, completely wiping out half way back to my bed. I tried to muffle my scream with my hand, but he still heard me. My door flew open.

"Isabelle! What are you doing? Are you okay?"

"Fine," I forced out, and was trying to right myself. My arm was just too weak to push my body off of the floor though.

I gasped as he easily scooped me up in his arms, and quickly put me on my bed. It was too fast, this vampire was really bad at blending in. I looked up into his eyes, and they were a bright golden yellow tonight, very different from their blackness the two nights before. They seemed… excited maybe?

"Umm, thanks," I mumbled out.

"Are you sure you're okay? Does it hurt any more than usual?"

"Nah, I'm good," I lied easily. It was very painful to breathe.

"I'm not buying it; you could have broken another rib. Would you mind if I checked? Or I could call for a different doctor, if you'd prefer."

I debated quickly about it. I thought it would be a little insulting if I told him I wanted someone else. If I knew that Carlisle was here it would be different, but I'm pretty sure he went home. I was proven wrong though when he burst in through the door. It surprised me a little, and the shift back I had made in surprise made me wince painfully. I saw him shoot the briefest worried look at William, and the smell hit me. Salt and rust, I looked down and saw a small spot of blood on my white shirt. Carlisle was at my side, standing in between the other vampire and myself. But I could see over his shoulder that William was standing like a rigid statue, looking in the opposite direction.

"You must have pulled one if the stitches. Here, lay back down," He slowly lowered my back down on the bed, supporting my shoulders with one cold hand so I wouldn't move too quickly. He opened the drawer of my bedside table that was filled with medical supplies. I shied away from the ugly scar across my stomach as he lifted up my shirt and cut off the bandages that wrapped around my ribs. I had pulled two, and I looked at the stars outside of my window, holding perfectly still had he sewed in two new ones. He slipped when said that I hadn't re-broken any of my ribs, just irritated them badly, when I had fallen down. He hadn't been here when it happened, and neither William or I had said anything, so he shouldn't have known. While he taped me back up, he threatened to put me back into the half-body cast again if I didn't call for help next time.

His 'brother-in-law' didn't move a millimeter during the entire process. I guessed that he must not be as… experienced in this field as Carlisle was. He seemed to have faith in him though, as Carlisle never asked him to leave.

I almost laughed when Carlisle went to open the window before he washed his hands, and came and sat down in the chair beside my bed. I guess it was enough to ease William a bit, and the cool breeze felt wonderful. He walked over to my bed, and handed me something that I hadn't noticed he had been carrying.

"Esme asked me to bring this to you on my way in. She thought soup might be easier on your stomach." I watched his face closely as he handed me the thermos and took a careful step back. Had he waited through that whole seemingly painful process just so he could hand me the thermos himself? That was… sweet.

"Thank you, William." He smiled widely when I said his name. "And please, thank Esme for me too."

"Of course. Have a good night," he said, turning and leaving the room quickly.

Carlisle sat with me while I ate. I had maybe five spoon-fulls before I felt full, and he wanted to stick around for a while to make sure I didn't get sick, or needed to use the washroom again.

My curiosity was burning, and while waiting for the nausea to pass, I just had to ask him. "Why did you decide to become a Doctor, Carlisle?" I knew he probably couldn't tell me the truth, but I wanted _something_. He thought about it for a short moment.

"It's a very rewarding career, working to try and save people's lives. It makes me feel like I'm doing a little good in a world that's filled with so much bad." I thought about his words for a few moments. I had the feeling that he was trying to say more with them. Maybe he was trying to counteract some of the bad things that his kind brought into this world, maybe as some sort of repentance. I couldn't picture this man killing a human, sinking his teeth into them and draining their blood. That seemed completely opposite of everything he was, and I wondered if he knew that.

"You're a great Doctor Carlisle, the best I ever had. And I've had a lot," he smiled at my bad joke. "I hope you know that what you're doing really does make a difference in people's lives."

He gave me a look that pulled painfully at my heart. There was gratefulness, happiness, and love in his eyes. It was the way that Charlie had looked at me so many times.

He rested a hand on my shoulder. "Thank you, Isabelle."

* * *

Alice brought Esme with her the next day, each of them carrying one of my suitcases, while Alice had my hiking pack strapped onto her back. They put them in my closet for me after I took out a new shirt, I didn't want to make them uncomfortable.

Esme once again brought me food, and I wondered if they had realized my weakness for trying to be polite to this motherly woman. I ate almost half of the small dish of Jell-O that had pieces of cut up strawberries in it. I wanted to finish it, it was much easier to swallow than the soup or pasta, but there just wasn't enough room in my stomach.

"So dear, where are you from?" Esme asked politely. I was pretty sure she already knew, but I played along anyways.

"Seattle," I told her. It was too hard to say the name of where I had spent the first half of this year. I couldn't look over the coincidence that Carlisle had worked at the hospital in Seattle, then gone to Forks, and they had left there just before I arrived. It was like I was following in their shadow as well.

"That's a pretty far drive. What brought you here? School maybe?"

That was harder to answer. "I was actually supposed to start University at Washington State in September. But things got bad and… I just had to leave." That was the best I could do, I clenched my eyes tightly, trying to push the memories away before they made it too hard to breathe. I was glad when Alice changed the subject.

"Well I'm _glad_ you're here. This place is so _boring_; it's nice having someone interesting to talk to. Do you think you'll stay?" She asked excitedly, like she actually wanted me to.

"I don't know, I haven't really thought about it." It seemed as good a place as any, but I hadn't seen much of it besides my hospital room. But… maybe while I was in proximity to these vampires I could somehow find out what a Volturi was and why it had destroyed my life. And find a way to destroy them. The want of taking revenge upon them roared inside me, filling me with a burning need. "Maybe."

"Well, it's not _that_ boring. You should stick around, at least for a little while after you get out of here."

I thought it was sweet that for some reason she seemed to want me to stay. The thought of not being completely alone was appealing too.

* * *

I was fidgeting with my ring, staring at it numbly when William came in for his usual visit that night. I was so absorbed that I didn't even notice him this time. "Isabelle?"

I looked up at him, and he was regarding me with a concerned expression. I wondered if he had said my name more than once.

"Oh, hey," I said. My throat felt swollen, and I coughed trying to clear it. It tweaked my ribs painfully.

"Are you okay?" God, I was getting annoyed of that question. He was only trying to be polite though, so I took a calming breath before answering, dropping my hand back into my lap.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I looked at the window longingly. I could see the trees swaying in the wind, and I wanted to be out there with them so badly. I was getting sick of this room. Seemingly reading my mind, he walked over to the window and opened it. I relaxed feeling the gentle breeze against my face. "Thanks," I said, and he sat down in the chair next to my bed. I noticed he was carrying another container, and he caught my gaze.

"Esme thought that you seemed to enjoy the Jell-O today, and asked me to bring by some more." He slid the bed table over me and raised my bed a little before handing me the spoon.

"Thanks," I told him again. This coven… family of vampires seemed very determined to make me eat.

"Not a problem." He was silent while I took a few bites, but I still felt full from earlier. I was a little uncomfortable with him watching me eat, so I tried to just not look at him. "That's a beautiful ring," he said casually. My hand started to shake, so I put down my spoon while swallowing hard. I didn't say anything. "So, are you married?"

I stared at my hand for a long time while he waited patiently for an answer. "No, I guess I'm not." My voice caught painfully in my throat_. I would never walk down the aisle towards Jacob on Charlie's arm. I will never get to call him my husband, or give him children or grow old with him. _The thought was so painful that I wrapped my arm around myself, trying to hold my body from falling apart.

His voice was a little panicked. "Hey, it's okay. I'm sorry, that was a really insensitive thing for me to ask. I didn't mean to-"

"I'm kind of tired," I said, maybe a little rudely. I turned my head to the side, looking away from him and out the window again.

"Yes, of course. Good night, Isabelle."

He closed the door to my room, and as soon as the door clicked shut behind him, I pulled my tin out from under my pillow, still unopened, and held onto it tightly while I rocked myself, and tried to remember how to breathe.

I watched as my room went from night to day, and was relieved to see Alice so early in the morning. She had an extremely worried look on her face, but tried to cover it with a smile.

She helped me take another shower, and I felt a little better afterwards. I caught a glimpse of my darkly bruised eyes when I passed the mirror, and looked away quickly.

"Hey Alice, would you mind passing me my grey suitcase?" I asked, after she had helped me climb back into bed.

"Sure thing," She said happily, picking it up easily and setting it on my table. I realized that I had lost my key, Alice hadn't found it anywhere, and I sighed. Oh well, it wasn't like this was the first time. I was horrible with keys, I lost the one to Charlie's house twice. The memory added to the constant throbbing pain in my heart that I tried to ignore.

"Do you have a safety pin or something?"

She gave me a funny look, and pulled a bobby pin out of her hair. "You can pick a lock?"

"Sure. You can't?" I asked in a teasing voice. She was so good at distracting me. Her presence always seemed to lighten my mood a little.

She laughed, a beautiful sound that reminded me of delicate bells. "Well, I didn't say that," Not a full admission, but close enough. She handed me the pin, and held the lock steady for me while I took a minute to pop it open. "Impressive," she told me with a happy smile.

"Thanks." I opened up the case, and pulled my quilt out of it.

"It's a really beautiful quilt," she told me, admiring the intricate patterns.

"My Mom made it for me when I was little," I told her.

She was quiet for a moment. "I don't mean to pry, but can I ask what happened?"

I decided that I didn't mind talking to her about this. She had told me so much about herself, and even though I wasn't sure how much of it was a ruse, I still wanted to give her something in return. "It's okay. She died in a car crash when I was eight. The doctor's said it was a miracle that I had survived, but I guess I have a habit of doing that."

"You were in the car with her?" She said, horrified. I nodded, and decided not to say anymore. I had been stuck in the car, not able to get out until the fire trucks came and cut open the door. Yeah, she definitely didn't need to know that.

"Would you like to see a picture of her?" I asked, trying to get away from the subject of the accident.

"Sure," she answered happily, and I took out my photo album that was dedicated to her. To us. She slid onto my bed next to me, the two of us fit comfortably onto the small mattress.

"This was us, maybe a month or so before she passed away," I told her, showing her my favourite picture. We were sitting together in front of our tree on Christmas morning, dressed in our pyjamas.

"She's really pretty," she told me, "You have her eyes." I nodded. I was tempted to smile, but I just couldn't do it. "Were you two close?"

"Very. We were always together. My father worked a lot, and we didn't get along very well, but he loved my Mom."

"That must have been hard, after she passed." I didn't say anything, but she nodded, like I had answered her with my silence. I flipped through the short book, showing her my pictures, and she seemed completely entertained, smiling the entire time. "What about your other album?"

I looked at it, and it became hard to breathe again. I shook my head, I wasn't ready for that yet. I had taken out all of the pictures of Jacob, they were in my tin, but the rest were pictures of Charlie, my classmates in Forks, and my pack. I just couldn't deal with that right now.

"It's okay, we don't have to look at it," she said in a soothing voice. I tried to calm down, but it was hard. She entwined her fingers through mine, and it helped. I looked at her, and she did the same thing that Carlisle had done to help me before. I forced myself to match her exaggerated breathing, and after a few minutes I felt much more calm. She smiled, "See? You're okay. I'm sorry that I upset you."

"No, it's not your fault. It's just… hard. I'm sorry."

She gave me a gentle hug. "It's okay, you don't need to apologize. I understand." She easily changed the subject, and started telling me a bit about the town. It was a pretty small one, from what she told me, but it sounded nice. Water, lots of trees, and quiet. I felt a little bit of excitement building inside of me in anticipation of seeing it myself.

Then I immediately felt guilty. What right did I have to be happy? Charlie and Jacob have only been gone for three months, it felt wrong to be excited about anything when they weren't here anymore. They both died protecting me, and my baby was dead because I was too weak to stick around afterwards. I deserved to suffer.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just a little tired," I told her. It wasn't a complete lie. I could feel her watching me, but I didn't dare look at her.

"I guess I should let you get some sleep. Here, I'll put this away for you." She closed up my suitcase, and very delicately put it back in the closet.

"Thank you Alice." I don't know why she bothered with me. I can't imagine that I was much fun to be around.

"Don't worry about it. My boyfriend's been asking if he could meet you, do you mind if I bring him by tomorrow?"

"I don't mind," I would just be happy that she came back, I don't care if she brought her entire coven.

"Yay! Well, see you tomorrow," she said happily, walking out of the room.

"Goodnight Alice," I said quietly.

* * *

I wasn't really expecting William to come again tonight, not after my attitude yesterday, but he did. He knocked on my door gently, and I told him he could come in.

He came and sat down in the chair beside my bed, and I once again wondered what he found so 'intriguing' about me. I looked at him curiously, and found that he was doing the same.

"I'm sorry again about yesterday. That was really insensitive of me." It was hard to doubt the sincerity in his eyes, and his voice. I didn't argue with him though.

"Don't worry about it."

"You don't look like you slept very well last night." I shrugged. That's how polite people tell someone that they looked like crap, and I was very much aware of how bad I looked. I was a little drowsy, but I knew as soon as I was alone I probably wouldn't be able to sleep. I appreciated the company, even if I found present company to be a little strange.

"So, do you only work night shifts? It's the only time I see you."

"Mostly. They needed more doctors for evenings, and I don't mind the hours really. Most people are asleep, so it's pretty quiet."

"You look pretty young to be a doctor." He looked in his early twenties, but he could have been hundreds of years old for all I knew. I didn't bother asking him how old he was, because I didn't want him to lie.

"Yeah, I get that a lot," he said, giving me a crooked smile.

"So, you must get pretty bored to end up in here with me. I know I can't be very interesting company."

"On the contrary, I find you very interesting," he said easily. I shook my head, baffled. He leaned forward, giving me that deep look again "What are you thinking?"

His intensity caught me off guard, and my mouth seemed to answer of its own accord. "I don't understand why you keep coming back here."

"I just told you, I think you're interesting."

"I'm not sure if that's an insult of a compliment," I told him honestly. His expression turned shocked.

"I definitely did not mean it as an insult, but I'm sorry that I made you feel that way." I gave him a speculative look, but he seemed like he was being honest. He changed the subject quickly. "So, what sort of stuff do you like to do in your spare time?"

That was a hard question to answer… It had been a while since I had just done something for fun, or even had the desire to do so. He seemed to be getting impatient with my pause, so I answered the first thing I could think of. "I like to read," I said simply.

"What do you like reading?"

"Anything and everything. Novels, textbooks, poetry, research papers, new or old, it doesn't matter."

"Do you have a favourite?"

"Not really, it changes with my mood."

"What about TV shows, or movies?"

"No to TV, I don't really care for it. I don't mind movies though, but I would rather read the story in a book."

"What sort of movies? Romance, comedy?"

I actually laughed, surprising myself, It was an empty sound, but still. "No, action movies mostly."

He seemed to find that entertaining. "What's your favourite one?"

"Fight Club," I answered easily. He smiled. "What sort of stuff do you do?"

"I like reading too, but lately it's been mostly for work."

"It can't be an easy career to keep up with, with medical sciences constantly changing and all."

"It's what I enjoy most about it really, I love learning new things. It's a bit of a passion of mine."

"Mine too," I blurted out. "What else?"

"Music. I love playing the piano."

"I've always wanted to learn that. There is so much more you can say and express with music, words can be so restrictive sometimes. " He gave me another curious look, and I felt a little embarrassed. God, why was I saying all of this to him? "Sorry, that probably sounded pretty weird."

He shook his head, "Not at all, I feel the same way, actually."

I relaxed slightly, and then tried to muffle a yawn. Talking to this man took a lot of energy.

"Sorry, you should get some sleep, and I should probably get some work done."

"Oh, okay." I don't know why, but I didn't really want him to leave. I didn't want to be alone tonight, like I usually did.

"Good night."

* * *

I was tired, but I just couldn't sleep for some reason. I hurt everywhere, and was getting annoyingly frustrated by it. And I really needed to use the washroom. I sat up in my bed, and was about to hop over to the toilet, when I remembered Carlisle's threat. With an irritated sigh, I pressed the button to call for a nurse.

"Miss me already?" William said, walking into my room again.

"Oh, sorry… I thought they'd send a nurse."

"Nothing to apologize for. What's up?"

"Do you think you could… help me walk over to the bathroom?" God, this was embarrassing. I should have just taken my chances hopping again.

"Of course," he said easily, and held out a hand for me. I took it, and had to fight not to flinch away. It felt like he had shocked me, and I saw in his face that he had felt it too. Maybe it was just static from my quilt. I swayed slightly when I stood up, but he put a gentle, steadying hand on my lower back. If Alice didn't find me heavy, he sure wouldn't either, so I put most of my weight into his hand as he led me slowly over to the washroom, stopping at the toilet. I looked up at him, and he had a pained expression on his face. I waited for a minute, but he didn't move.

"Umm, a little privacy maybe?"

He looked completely embarrassed. "Yes, of course. Sorry. I'll just… wait outside." He spun around and closed the door behind him when he left. I washed my hands, then brushed my teeth again before opening the door. He held out his hand again, and helped me back to my bed. I sat down on it begrudgingly, not looking forward to sitting here and most likely not sleeping the rest of the night.

"Thank you."

"Not a problem. I was kind of surprised that you were still awake, are you having trouble sleeping again?"

"A little," I admitted uncomfortably. I was afraid that if I didn't say anything and just shrugged it off that he would leave sooner. I just wanted someone to talk to, really.

"Is the pain keeping you up? I can get you some painkillers or something to help you sleep if you want."

"No thanks… Painkillers always make me sick. I'd prefer the pain to the nausea to be honest."

He gave me another concerned look, and I started to feel bad that I seemed to be worrying this vampire so much.

"I could… sit with you for a bit if you want?"

"That-" God, what was wrong with me? Was I really desperate enough to ask him to sit and keep me company like a child? "No, that's okay. Thank you though."

"Okay, well just buzz if you want anything."

"Thank you."

I'm pretty sure that I dozed off a couple of times throughout the night, but it never lasted more than a few minutes. I just watched the wind play with the branches of the trees outside my windows, and tried to think of nothing else.

Alice came in bright and early the next morning, it was like she always knew what days I needed her most. It was a little ridiculous how attached I'd gotten to her without really noticing. How much time had she spent with me, visiting me every single day, even when I hadn't really been there? She was the one who had brought me to the hospital too, saving my life, and she had been waiting for me when I had first woken up. I realized that I saw her more as a person than a vampire really, and I was grateful for her beyond words.

So when I saw her come in this morning, I gave her the first genuine smile that I had made in in three months. Then I automatically felt horrible. I shouldn't be smiling, I didn't deserve to smile. I couldn't think straight, my mind was spinning and I had a horrible migraine. Oh God, Jacob, Charlie, I'm so sorry…

"Morning Isabelle," She said, giving me a worried smile.

"Hey," I said. My voice came out a lot quieter than I had meant it to, but she heard me. A man came in behind her, and it looked like he winced. They came into my room together, and he sat down in the empty chair while she perched on the side of my bed.

"This is my boyfriend Jasper, he wanted to come by and meet you," she said in a cheerful tone. He was about the same height and build as William, but maybe a couple years younger. The same golden yellow eyes, with a strong jaw and sandy blond hair.

I felt completely embarrassed, knowing that I probably looked horrible right now. Jasper's eyes took on a slightly concentrated look, and my embarrassment quickly evaporated. My eyes widened in shock, and I tried to quickly compose my face. He did that to me, I was sure of it. I could practically feel him inside my head, tasting my guilt, my sadness, my pain… and my realization. He gave me a strange look. Surprise maybe? Was it unusual for him to get caught?

"Hey," I said simply.

He smiled, and I could feel his amusement. "Hey."

I was tempted to smile, this was just so strange, but it was quickly replaced by guilt and he gave me a worried look. I felt him start to pull away some of the guilt, and then some of the sadness, and I worried for a moment. It passed quickly though, and of my own accord. I welcomed the relief; I wanted it so badly, just to not hurt. Just for a little while.

Then it all disappeared, and I was filled with happiness and serenity. I slumped back on my pillows, and felt a relaxed smile spread across my lips. I was beyond grateful, and I hoped he knew that.

I felt a small flutter in my mind that seemed to tell me that he did.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	11. Chapter Eleven: Singer

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. Caution: ****Will contain mature language and subject matter.**

**Chapter Eleven :: Singer**

I heard it in his mind before he even sat down. Once again, my family would have to leave because of me. I realized that I had definitely been cursed. She would always find me, no matter how far away I went. The universe was set on making me suffer for my crimes.

I remembered the first time I had seen the child, brought in unconscious and bleeding to the emergency room. If Alice hadn't brought Emmett to come and stop me then, she would be dead. But they got me away from her, and once I had hit the cool air I was able to think a little more clearly. Completely enraged with myself, I fled.

And just happened to cross paths with her father.

He was thinking about her face, it's how I knew it was him. I saw in his mind as he replayed the memory once more.

"_What did you do with them?"_

"_Do with what?" She asked him in a worried tone._

"_You know exactly what I'm talking about! Where's the jewelry?"_

"_You can't get rid of Mom's jewelry, they've been in the family for generations! She wouldn't want-"_

_I saw her face get closer as he gripped onto the collar of her shirt, jerking her forward. "Tell me!"_

_She looked defiantly into his eyes. "No."_

And he pushed her down the flight of stairs. Once he realized that he could be tried for murder, he ran and dialed 9-1-1.

"_Yes, my daughter has fallen down the stairs, she's not moving…" That was a mistake, if she wke up then she could tell…_

I didn't even think about it. I dashed forward, and snapped his neck. Alice didn't even see me do it.

He was definitely dead. Thinking quickly, I snapped his arm and a few ribs, and then placed him strategically on the side of the street. Yes, it looked like a hit and run. Then I ran home.

My family forgave me for the murder, they understood why I had done it. I never forgave myself though, for orphaning the girl. She had no family, and would end up in the system. We transferred to the hospital in Forks immediately after. The family had already been living there, but the hospital was bigger in Seattle.

But only a year and a half later, she showed up there too. Alice was able to give us a heads up when it had been decided that Charlie Sawn would be taking her in. So we left.

And now she's found me again, and we would leave so that I wouldn't kill her too. The memory of her intoxicating scent was still bright in my memory.

"I'm staying," Alice informed us, snapping me out of my train of thought. 'Pity party,' she called it. And I looked into her mind more carefully. What she had felt during her vision to rescue her, what she saw when she was carrying her. The human girl looked completely at ease with Alice, touching her and talking to her comfortably. I'd never seen a human act like that with one of us before.

Alice's gift didn't seem to work as well with her as it usually did with others; her visions were very blurry and uncertain, which piqued my interest. It would be interesting to find out why.

Alice wouldn't budge on the idea, and Esme was completely heartbroken about the idea of losing Alice and Jasper. She wouldn't ask me to stay though. None of them wanted me to suffer, even though I surely deserved to. I realized that there was no point in trying to run any further, so I would make the choice for them. I let them know that I would stay, and found a little comfort in the fact that I had at least made Esme happy.

* * *

Work the next night was the longest experience of my existence. I could smell her as soon as I had walked in, and spoke no more than two words to anyone while I held my breath the entire shift. The next day didn't work out as easily for me though. I got called down to the Intensive Care Unit for a consultation on some X-Rays. I couldn't stop myself from taking a quick glance at her through the glass wall as I walked down to the nurse's station. The entire left side of her body was encased in plaster, and she had small scrapes and bandages covering all over her face and exposed arm. She had grown much during the last few years; even covered in bandages I could tell she was a very beautiful woman. She looked so relaxed and peaceful in her sleep. I couldn't see her dreaming anything, but that wasn't completely uncommon. Some people just didn't dream. I reminded myself to keep moving my chest so that it would at least look like I was breathing.

But they had questions that needed immediate answers, and I quickly ran out of air. I tried to brace myself before taking a gentle breath in, but it was no use. She smelt even better than before, like it had ripened with age. Maybe some higher power had sent her back here, maybe they _wanted _me to end her misery for her, and her blood singing to me like this was my sign to do so…

"Uncle William?"

I hadn't realised that I had taken a step back towards her room, and Alice was standing in front of me. _Get out of here, NOW!_ She shouted through her mind. "Uncle William, you forgot your medication at home. I left it in your office, you need to go take it." _You're diabetic if they ask later. I swear if you're not out of here in two seconds, I will rip your head off._

I had never heard her mind like this before, and caught a glimpse of an image of myself, my hands gripping onto her shoulders, easily breaking through the plaster as I bit into her delicate neck…

I took three long strides out of the room, and then moved faster than I ever had in my life as I dodged the still-awake minds of the staff and patients of the hospital. I ran and ran until I was deep in the forest, and knew that there could be no possibility of her scent reaching this far.

I took in a deep breath of the cool, clean air and crumpled to my knees. I had always known that I was a monster, but I'd never felt more like one than in this exact moment. What I had almost done to that girl…

I felt too ashamed to go home, so I didn't. I ran and ran for a day and a half straight, as fast as I could to the only place I could think of; our cousin's place in Alaska.

* * *

I stayed there for thirteen days. I wallowed in my own misery, completely ashamed for two days, and then spent a week trying to figure out what I was supposed to do. Where did I want to be?

I wanted to be with my family. It was that simple. I wanted to prove to them that I wasn't this weak, and I was determined to overcome this obstacle. What sort of vampire was I to be defeated by one small and very fragile human?

One thing I couldn't get out of my thoughts was that vision of Alice's. Not the one where I had killed her, but the one of her with the human girl in the future. My curiosity was burning inside of me, because it was insanely rare for a human to be that comfortable around one of us. It wasn't normal, and I just had to see into her mind. Alice cared about her, so I knew she wouldn't sentence the girl to death by telling her about our secret. I wanted to know what this woman was like. The way she smiled at Alice, with that beautiful face and stunning emerald eyes seemed to be scorched into my eye lids, because I would see it every time I closed my eyes. No, I knew that there was no way I could destroy something that beautiful.

I felt completely horrible when I got home. Esme had been completely heartbroken that I had left without even a word, and I swore that I wouldn't hurt her again like this. We may have been acting like siblings, but I had always seen her as more of a mother.

Emmett was surprised to see me back, completely doubting my resolve. He had stumbled across someone like Isabelle twice in his like, and hadn't stood a chance against the pull of either one of them. _It's impossible dude, and you know Alice will kill you. I don't think even _you_ could beat her in a fight._

Rose was pissed, not to my surprise. She was practically shouting at me in her mind that I was going to blow their cover, and kill the girl. _She's been through enough without you throwing shit into the pile._ I think it was the first time I've even seen her show sympathy for a human before. She had always wanted a child and she despised her species the most out of our family. She felt some sort of camaraderie with this girl that she had never met, and I saw that she had even gone through the effort of fixing her truck with delicate care.

Alice seemed to have forgiven me, even though Jasper hadn't for upsetting her. _I don't see you hurting her anymore, you care about her too much._ She smiled at me and I raised an eyebrow at her choice of words. _Well, maybe intrigued is a better word right now, but you will._

"And what's _that_ supposed to mean?" I asked in disbelief. I tried to see, but she was deliberately reciting the Canadian anthem in both English and French repeatedly, giving me a mischievous smile. She stuck out her tongue at me, and then grabbed Jasper before running upstairs to their room.

* * *

Isabelle had been moved into a private room a couple days ago, and I was thankful that her scent didn't seem to fill the entire building anymore. It's what I hated most about my line of work, the smells. There were too many of them, and the majority were not pleasant ones. I decided that it would be best to see exactly where her room was, so I could take special precautions. Unfortunately, it was down the hall from my office.

I could see her delicate form under a thin blanket on the hospital bed through the glass window in her door. She looked like she had lost weight in the past two weeks, but that wasn't uncommon while she was living off of an IV. Also, the swelling had gone down in her stomach after she had lost her child.

Carlisle appeared by my side with his clipboard, handing it over to me. I took a minute to look it over while hearing him recite the charts in his mind. She was lucky to have survived, and it would be a long process for her damaged organs to heal. No emergency contact information, but I had already known that she had no relatives. _How bad is it?_ He asked me silently, referring to her scent.

"I haven't quite worked up the courage to breath yet," I told him honestly, using up most of my air. He placed a firm hand on my shoulder. _Now is as good a time as any_. I nodded, and braced myself before taking a small sniff.

I winced. She was the most delectable smelling thing on this planet. I tried to concentrate on Carlisle's hand on my shoulder, and the encouraging words that he was silently giving me. I wanted to burst through her door, but I was fairly sure that I wouldn't. After a couple minutes I took another breath, and another, but while I felt the venom well in my mouth, the flames ripping through my throat begging to be quenched, and was aware that my eyes had probably faded to black faster than they ever had before, I still felt in control. It was so painful, but I could think past it now. _Better?_

"Yes, I think I'll be fine. It's maddening, but I think I can push past it now." I always tried to be completely honest with Carlisle, it was the least I could do after spending so many decades swimming through his mind.

He smiled. "I'm very proud of you William."

"Thanks Carlisle."

"Oh, Doctor Cullen, Doctor Masen, I could really use your opinion about the spot on this CT scan…" Doctor Geller went to lead us to his office, and I shot a parting glance through the window into Isabelle's room. Her sleep was still dreamless, completely silent. Sighing, I followed the two down the hall.

* * *

It was another week before she woke up. Despite that though, Alice still visited her room every day. Something about the girl was still messing with her visions, they continued to be very blurry and uncertain, and she couldn't see far into her future. Apparently, she saw a bit better the closer she was to her, and even after I told her that she was too gone to hear her, Alice still spoke to her. She sang songs, recited plays and movies, talked about the weather and news. It was a little odd how attached she had become, but she had complete faith in her vision and an almost desperate want for the friendship she was picturing in her mind.

But I wasn't really one to judge. I had done my own research on the girl. I was able to hack into her old records of her foster families. She had been with two other families before ending up in Forks, but there was no information about why they hadn't lasted. I looked into her school records, and found out that she had graduated top of her class, which wasn't too surprising seeing the types of courses she had taken while living in Seattle. I wondered why she hadn't just gotten her GED and gone to college early.

"You know, what you're doing isn't exactly legal, and you're coming off a little stalker-ish," Alice said in a teasing voice, popping up behind my shoulder.

"And what you do doesn't?" I asked defensively. I was a little bothered myself with how much of an interest I had taken in her.

"I can't help my gift, it's part of who I am. I can't control it."

"Hah, yeah right. Even if you can't stop it, you're doing a lot to encourage it." She shrugged with a small grin, and left to go hunting with Jasper.

My search hadn't giving me nearly enough information, and I remembered that Alice had been storing her things in her 'closet.' She wouldn't be back for a couple of hours…

"Don't you dare!" She said, bursting back into the room, Jasper close behind her. "She wouldn't want people looking through her things. That stuff is important, I'm taking care of it for her."

"You looked through them," I pointed out.

"That's different, I'm her best friend. She wouldn't mind if it was me."

"What's going on in here?" Esme asked, flitting into the house, her hands covered in dark soil.

"William was going to go into my closet and look in Isabelle's things," Alice informed her, and I shot her a betrayed look. She didn't need to bring Esme into it.

"William Edward Cullen! You will do no such thing, stay out of your sister's room!" She said, using my real name. I was justly chastised, and didn't try to do it again. There was just no way to do it with Alice finding out.

* * *

I was filled with an odd excitement when the day came that Alice said she would wake up. It was during the day and not being scheduled to work I hid in my office down the hall from her room, and watched through Alice's eyes. She had seen her waking up, and that she would be understandably upset, but her murky vision hadn't prepared her for the reality of it.

She watched as her breathing pattern changed, knowing that she was waking up, but her heart rate monitor went quickly out of control. Her eyes flashed open, barely taking in her surrounds before her one free hand flew to her stomach, and she seemed immediately aware of what must have happened. Alice watched, frozen in shock, as she screamed and started ripping off all of the wires and needles that were stuck to her. Tears started pouring out of her eyes, and her sobs were the most painful sound that I had ever heard.

Alice's hesitation didn't last long, and she tried her best to calm the human down. The woman just seemed to notice her then, and I saw a moment of shock in her face. There was something in her eyes, recognition maybe? But that was impossible. I tried to listen to what should have been her frantic thoughts, but I found absolutely nothing.

Her mind was completely silent, and I was completely blown away. This had never happened before.

Carlisle was quick to go into the room to help, easily hearing her scream. He introduced himself quickly then worked on trying to get her to calm down. It wasn't an easy task, but as she watched him with the most peculiar expression, trying to match his exaggerated breathing, her heart rate slowly calmed down. The fast and steady stream of her tears never lessened though.

"My baby…" I hadn't really been sure what to expect about her reaction, she was very young to be pregnant in this day and age, but it was obvious in her voice that she had loved her unborn child dearly.

"I'm very sorry Isabelle. He didn't suffer though, it was very quick."

"How?" She asked quietly. Carlisle didn't think it would be safe to talk to her about it right now, she was too distraught, she didn't need the extra pain. She looked up at him, angrily at that. "I want to know how." I had to admit, even I would have taken a step back from the strength in her voice.

Humans were usually very uncomfortable around us, and most of the time a little scared. But there was no fear in her voice. I realized that she was a very brave person.

"Your windshield shattered. A large piece of glass was wedged into your abdomen when you were brought in. My daughter here, Alice, was the one who had found you. I don't think you would have survived if she hadn't gotten you here so quickly."

She looked at Alice once again, though briefly, before looking down into her lap silently. Carlisle waited for her to say something, comment or ask a question maybe, but it seemed like she didn't want to speak at all, so he tried talking again. "She's been worried sick about you, barely left your side while you were out."

He saw her eyes narrow after a moment, and she didn't look away from her lap as she spoke. "When?"

"Almost four weeks," Alice told her immediately, yet very gently. She hadn't seen the question, and it bothered her. Usually if she was concentrating this hard on trying to see something, she could watch an entire conversation in detail. It was a very interesting thing to watch, and because of it I'm probably the only vampire who has Deja-vu.

Silence once again. It was torturous for Carlisle to watch her suffering like this, completely alone. Even though they couldn't find anything, he still had to at least ask if there was someone he could call. She just shook her head once, closing her eyes tightly. He needed to get the wires and cuff for the monitor back on her. Even after laying here healing for the past few weeks, it would take much longer for her extensive injuries to heal. She would have scarring on some of her internal organs that had been damaged, and along with all of the breaks she would be in a lot pain without her morphine drip, and her body needed the sustenance from the IV. She looked much calmer now than an hour ago though, so he went to reattach everything she had ripped out.

The second his hand had lightly touched her arm, her eyes flashed opened and ripped it away from him. Her glare was furious, enraged. He offered her a small, reassuring smile while he explained in a gentle voice. "I need to re-attach this, your body needs the medication and the vitamins Isabelle. Your-"

"Don't you fucking touch me," she hissed in the most terrifying, angry voice I had ever heard. None of us had been expecting that at all, and I didn't blame Carlisle for backing away. The vulgar word and intensity of her glare just seemed so out of place on this gentle, delicate looking woman. He didn't want to scare her and risk her freaking out and hurting herself. She would be okay with it out for a little while, and he would give her a bit of space until she was calmer. Carlisle told her that'd he'd come back again to check up on her after she got some rest, telling Alice to come. "Just a sec," she said, then pulled something out of her pocket. She handed her a ring and a necklace, placing it on the bed next to her when she didn't react to her outstretched arm. It was an engagement ring, I realized. Alice hadn't told me. She didn't say anything, and the two of them left her room silently, neither of them really wanting to leave her alone. They came and found me, wanting a report, and we all heard as she broke into painful sobs again once they were gone.

"So? What did you find out?" Alice asked. She was so worried, she just wanted to know anything that might be able to help her, no matter how small.

"Absolutely nothing. I can't hear her thoughts at all. She was completely silent," I told them, still having trouble grasping the idea. They both looked at me in shock, wondering how that was possible.

Carlisle just became more worried when he checked up on her later. She didn't look at him, didn't even acknowledge his presence. We were both surprised when she didn't flinch away from his cold skin, seemingly unbothered by it this time. She just sat there, completely unresponsive while he checked her over and talked to her while he re-attached her wires and IV. It was like she didn't even know that he was there, until he mentioned the morphine drip.

Then she was there completely once again, pulling away from him quickly and shaking her head in refusal. He tried to explain to her why it would be in her best interests, but she cut him off once again with an angry hiss. "No."

"You'll be in too much pain without it," he told her gently. He couldn't tolerate the idea of her sitting here suffering, and he put a gentle hand on her arm to try and sooth her. "I'm sorry but-"

"NO!" She screamed, and he could smell the blood in her mouth from putting such a straining force into the word. If it was painful though it didn't stop her. She screamed and thrashed around in a panic, and Carlisle quickly let go of her and stepped back in horror. She shouldn't have been able to move like that, and he was terrified that he would make her hurt herself. Legally, he couldn't medicate her against her will, and he could never bring himself to do that to the small woman. He apologized repeatedly, trying to reassure her that he meant her no harm and that he wouldn't force her. She just glared at him, a look that could make even a vampire feel cold, until he left her room. As soon as he was outside his hands slid into his hair, gripping on tightly as he leaned his forehead against the wall of the hall way. I rushed to his side. He couldn't believe how he had scared her. He was overwhelmed by not knowing what to do, and wanting so desperately to do _something_.

* * *

Carlisle was starting to believe that he had done irreparable damage. He didn't dare try to force her to start taking the medication, but it was very hard for him. She wouldn't eat or drink, it didn't seem like she was sleeping, she never even acknowledged him. She didn't shed a single tear since the day she had woken up. Her expression was just as vacant as the sound of her thoughts. There was nothing there.

Alice visited her every day, even though it didn't really seem like she noticed. It became apparent after two days that she had no interest in eating, but she didn't stop bringing her food. Alice was sure that she would start eating again, she just needed time, and since she would always turn off the TV whenever she was alone Alice refused to let her sit alone in silence. It was painful for her to watch the empty, dazed look in her eyes as she just sat there staring into nothing, but didn't show it. She would sit at her bedside talking to her from eight in the morning until eight at night, then go home to Jasper where he would hold her and comfort her. He asked if she wanted him to come and try to help, but she didn't want him to suffer through the pain of being inside a hospital. Even without the scent of blood perfuming the halls, hospitals were a highly intense environment of emotions.

After two weeks though, there was a subtle change in the human's demeanor. It was so slight that we would never have been able to notice if we hadn't been playing such close attention. Alice came into her room one morning, and Isabelle sent her a fleeting look before going back to staring at the wall across from her bed, and it looked like her rigid posture had relaxed slightly. Alice was over joyed by that small moment, and it gave her a new found faith in what she was doing. I was worried that she was getting her hopes up at first, but from then it seemed like she relaxed a little bit more each day that Alice came in even though she didn't look at her again.

I was leaving work when Alice came in one morning. It bothered me that she kept a complete opposite schedule of visitation from my working hours. I was stuck watching the few glimpses from her memories that I would see when we crossed paths. Today was different though, she was practically skipping with a big smile on her face as she entered.

"Hey Alice, what's got you in such a great mood today?"

She beamed at me. "I think Isabelle is going to talk to me today," she informed me happily. My eyes widened in shock.

"About what?"

"No idea," she said, then skipped past me to the elevators. Curious, I followed her and snuck back into my office unnoticed to watch.

Alice watched her closely while she talked today, and it was late in the afternoon when we saw the small spark of life in her eyes. She didn't turn her head, but she opened her mouth as if to speak. Nothing came out though, but Alice was ready and waiting with a glass of water. She stood up, and held the glass close to her mouth, and let her decide if she wanted to drink. She was worried about being too forward and making her panic like Carlisle had.

She looked at Alice, a real look, not a passing glimpse with empty eyes. She was very much there this time, and debated for a long moment before slightly leaning forward. Alice brought the glass to her lips gently. She winced when she swallowed, and after a third small mouthful she looked in pain. That was normal though for someone who hadn't eaten or drank anything in so long. Alice put the glass down, and waited expectantly.

"A-Alice," she said painfully. Alice wished she could tell what she was going to say, even though she wanted her to talk to her, it broke her heart to see her suffer from the effort. "Do you know what happened to my things?"

_Of course, I should have known. But I can't just come out and say it, I should have no idea of what she wants… Damnit! I hate this._ "Yeah, they're at my house. Sorry, but I didn't want anybody messing through your stuff." I smiled, realizing that she included me in that list. "Would you like me to bring anything over?" She asked, already knowing the answer. She had gotten too good at blocking me out over the years, and I was frustrated that she had managed to keep so much from me.

"Tin, Black-" she winced again, breathing heavily. I saw the box in her mind as Alice nodded. She asked if there was anything else that she wanted, but Isabelle just shook her head. I tried not to think of her name too often, liking the sound of it too much. Alice went back to talking about useless things, just making noise to fill the quiet room.

"What's in the box?" I asked her when she came out, she wasn't surprised to see me waiting there for her, although she was slightly annoyed. She was getting a little sick of me eavesdropping

"I don't know, I didn't look." I saw that she was being honest. Apparently that tin box was the most import thing that this girl owned, and that even Alice thought it was too personal to open. I sighed in frustration, and gave her a drive home.

* * *

Alice came in just as my shift ended, and I walked her up to the human's room, then leaned beside the door as Alice went inside. Watching through her eyes, I saw her regarding Alice's purse expectantly, completely ignoring the plate of food that she sat down beside her bed as usual. Alice was excited, thinking that this was going to be the changing point, the moment that would help start putting everything into motion. That expectant look was the first closest thing to an emotion I had seen on her face since her infuriated glare at Carlisle weeks ago.

"I didn't forget, here you go," Alice told her happily, delicately handing her the tin box.

I waited expectantly for her to open it, but she just hugged it tightly to her chest. I saw what Alice had meant by it being important to her, and she seemed to hold onto it like it was the only thing in the world that could save her from drowning. I had expected her to cry, she looked like she wanted to, but not a single tear escaped those emerald green eyes.

After a couple moments, she reached out and comfortably took Alice's hand. _"Thank you, Alice."_ The words were so filled with emotion, gratitude mostly, but there was that knowing look that she had had in her eyes before. Ah! This was so frustrating, why couldn't I just hear her? Alice's happiness was instant. She also didn't have the old frustration that she had had before from not being able to see her properly. She thought it was a little nice, normal even, not knowing exactly what was going to happen.

It was a very subtle difference, but there was a change in her. I saw that for the rest of Alice's visit she was putting in an effort to actually pay attention to her words now. She hadn't immediately drifted back into her usual unresponsive state, though it looked very difficult for her. Alice didn't seem to notice just _how_ carefully she was watching her, carried away by her own excitement.

I saw her do the same thing when Carlisle went to check on her later that day. He was getting really worried about how long it was taking her stitches to heal. She needed to eat. I laughed out loud, just as he did, when she eyed the IV bag he was changing warily. He was just happy that she wasn't ignoring him today.

"If you ate something, I could take it out," he told her teasingly.

"I'm not hungry." Her voice was too quiet, weak. Carlisle's worry was eating away at him, he didn't know what to do.

"I know sweetie. But it will get better." He wasn't expecting her to talk anymore, and was taken by surprise by her question.

"How?"

"How what?"

"How do you know that it will get better?" There was an almost desperate tone to her voice, like she wanted to believe him, but just couldn't.

He heard it too, and felt a little hopeful. Maybe she didn't actually want to die, it seemed like she just didn't know what to do with herself. "My wife lost a child. It nearly killed her. It's not something that she ever completely got over, but after time she found out that there are other things in life worth living for."

She gave the slightest nod and then seemed to shut down again, and he was disappointed that his words didn't seem to help her.

"It's not your fault Carlisle. You're doing everything that you can," I said, trying to ease his pain. It didn't work.

"But it's not enough!" He hissed. I was surprised by his emotional outburst. I hadn't realized how attached he had gotten to her as well. I had been too distracted lately.

"Alice says that she'll get better," I reminded him.

"I know… but it doesn't make it any easier to watch her suffer now. I think I'll bring Esme in tomorrow, maybe she'll be able to help her somehow."

I thought about Esme's power, how she seemed to radiate love into other people, and chastised myself for not thinking of that sooner.

"I think that's a good idea, worth a try anyways."

* * *

Alice ignored me as she led Esme into the room, a sad smile on her face, but she wasn't thinking about whatever vision she had had earlier. The human gave her an interested look, and waited quietly for Alice to introduce her.

"Hey Isabelle, this is my Mom, Esme."

"Hello dear, it's really nice to finally meet you. I've been wanting to find out what's been keeping Alice so occupied lately." Esme's motherly personality immediately took over. She was heartbroken, seeing the small, frail girl. It was in Esme's nature to love people, to worry about them and try to care for them and help them, so I wasn't too surprised by her sudden feeling of need to help the girl.

"Hi," she said, and Esme was thrilled that she had responded. From what she had heard from us, she wasn't sure that she would talk to her.

Alice had a small vision while the three of them were sitting together. It wasn't much, just Esme holding the girl. But they were alone, and she trusted her impulse to excuse herself.

They were quiet for a minute, but the girl seemed to not be able to help taking a peek at her. _She looks so tired, I wonder if she's in pain… _"Isabelle, how are you feeling?" She wanted to ask so much more, and tried to push those feelings into the words.

She looked away again, and Esme was worried that she might have upset her. "I don't know," she whispered. I was surprised by the honesty in her voice. I think that she actually _wanted_ to talk to Esme. Seeing her wince from the attempt to speak, she instinctively held out a glass of water. The human gave her a short, cautious look, and then leaned forward to accept it. Esme worried as she cringed from the attempt to swallow, but it was obvious that she wanted more. Her swallows became more urgent and she quickly choked while trying to take too much and started coughing. Esme panicked from the obvious pain the motion was causing her, and not knowing what else to do she slid onto the edge of her bed and started rubbing her back soothingly until her breathing settled. Once she had calmed, she reached for the water again, surprising us both. This was by far the most she had drank, and Esme couldn't deny her want to finish the glass. She regretted it when she looked like she felt ill afterwards. There was a faint sheen of sweat on her forehead, she was shaking badly, and her face had impossibly gotten even paler.

"Are you okay dear? Do you want me to call Carlisle?" She shook her head quickly, closing her eyes tightly. Why wouldn't she let them help her? Why was she subjecting herself through this torture? But Esme easily remembered the guilt, the self-loathing that she had had for herself when she had lost her son. She didn't love his father, but she had loved her child even more than her own life. She was in so much pain, completely alone with no one to help her, and had tried to end her own life. _No, I will not let this child go down that path. She needs to talk to someone about it._

"I don't know if my husband told you, but I lost a child once." The girl looked up at her in surprise. _Oh dear, I hope she doesn't get angry with him…_ "Please excuse him for his indiscretion. He's just worried about you."

"I'm sorry." It took me a second to realize what she was apologizing for, and I realised that she felt bad about worrying Carlisle. Curious. Alice came back to my side, and we listened in amazement as Esme easily got her talking.

"There's nothing to apologize for dear. It's okay. I know how hard it is."

"How old was he?"

It was still painful to think of her lost son, but she would do whatever she could to help this girl. "Two days. Two very short days."

"How did you deal with it?" That desperation was in her voice again, and I wasn't the only one who saw a flicker of hope in her. Esme was honest with her, there was no point in lying to this girl, because she was experiencing it for herself.

"Not well, I met Carlisle shortly after. My ex-husband wasn't… a very nice man."

"My fiancé wasn't." The words had caught in her throat. I thought she had been saying that her child's father hadn't been a good person either and the thought of her also living in fear of a man enraged me, but Esme heard something different in her voice.

"Wasn't what Dear?"

She was quiet for a long moment, her expression tortured, but when she did finally speak her words came out very quickly, panicked and filed with pain. "He wasn't a bad man. He was a great man. He loved me more than anything, just like I did him. He died, two days after he asked me to marry him. The same day I had told him about our baby. He was so happy, and then…" She gripped onto her chest, and I worried that she was going to have a heart attack, but Alice stopped me from running into the room. _Just wait._

Esme slid onto her bed and gave her a gentle hug, and we watched as she clutched onto her. Her breathing hitched in painful sobs, but still her eyes remained dry. No, for her, this was worse than having the past of a bad relationship, she had lost someone she had loved greatly along with her child. And then there was her adopted father also. We all came to that conclusion, and her state made complete sense to us all now. They stayed like that for a long time, until her breathing calmed and she seemed to relax a little. I knew that she was feeling Esme's power.

"I should have brought her here sooner," Alice said, angry with herself.

She thanked Esme, and seemed surprised, but still un-afraid when Esme kissed her on the forehead.

Esme didn't want to leave her, especially when she saw a flicker of sadness in the girl's eyes when she said goodbye. After asking if she could visit again, she was happy and relieved when the girl said that she would like that.

I walked them out to the car, thinking about Esme's natural motherly influence. "She seems to really like you Esme. I bet if you brought her food yourself, she would feel too guilty to refuse it."

Alice closed her eyes, then smiled. "I think he might be right."

"Oh, I've always wanted to use the kitchen!"

* * *

The hospital was quiet, which was normal for this time of night. I was sitting in my office, responding to some e-mails, completely distracted.

I kept going over her words from today. She had been engaged, been in love with someone. Why did that bother me?

I had the feeling that she suspected that something was off about us, and my curiosity was driving me insane. I needed to know what was going on in her mind. Was it possible that maybe she had befriended someone in Quileute tribe, and heard something about us? No, that would have been breaking the treaty. Their leader, or Alpha, had been a very young man, but he was very serious about his role. Jacob Black wouldn't have let anyone be so flexible about their rules. It was very plausible that she realized we had lived in Forks just before she had left, and just found it strange that she had managed to come across us. She hadn't mentioned anything about it, but she wasn't really much of a talker.

That just made it even more frustrating. Not only could I not hear her thoughts, but I rarely heard her voice either.

Alice found that she could _see_ her better when she was closer to her. I had been in the hospital with her for a few weeks now, and I hadn't slipped up once. Her scent still drove me crazy, but I could control it. Maybe if I just got a little bit closer to her as well…

I looked at the clock, and it was just after two in the morning. She should probably be asleep, but maybe I could catch a glimpse of a dream.

The idea was too tempting, and I was in front of her room in two minutes. I listened carefully, and her breathing was very even, relaxed. I opened the door as quietly as possible, and stepped in.

Her eyes were closed, and her breathing remained even. I took a cautious breath. Her delicious scent had saturated the room. I felt the venom well in my mouth, but controlled myself. No, I wouldn't hurt her. I watched her for a minute, making sure I hadn't woken her, then slowly walked to the side of her bed.

The cuts on her face had healed very well. I was glad, she had an extremely beautiful face. Large eyes with thick, dark lashes, delicate full lips, smooth even skin. Even through the ill paleness her tone had taken, I could still see all those things. I had a hard time imagining how beautiful she would be with a smile on her face. The fuzzy image from Alice's vision wasn't good enough.

I leaned in a little closer, if I reached out my arm I would have been able to touch her. I stared at her hard, concentrating and… Nothing. Silence.

Then she opened her eyes, completely aware and alert. She hadn't been sleeping, after all. A good actress. I panicky slightly, what do I do? Should I run? I knew that this must look bad. But she looked at me calmly, her face neutral as he inspected me quickly. I wanted to moan in frustration, her silence was driving me mad. If I ran away, I would definitely seem guilty.

"Are you okay?" She asked me. Was that concern in her voice? Why would she worry about me? I actually had the opportunity to ask for the first time, so I did.

"Yes, I'm fine. Why?"

"Well… you were kind of just silently staring at me in the dark." She gave me an obvious look, and I was tempted to laugh. How did she know I had been here? I knew I had been silent. She still didn't seem scared though. I made up a hasty excuse.

"Oh, yes. Well, Carlisle just asked me to come in and check on you."

I saw suspicion flash quickly through her eyes. Those incredibly deep, beautiful green eyes. Damn, Carlisle had said goodbye to her before he left, that was a foolish mistake. I waited for her to call me out in it, but she did something worse.

"Well, I'm fine, thanks," she said dryly, before turning her head to the side and looking pointedly out of the window. It was an obvious dismissal, but I just couldn't bring myself to leave yet.

"My name is William. William Masen." It was the only thing I could think of saying. Mercifully, she looked back at me. I tried one more time, staring as deeply as I could into her eyes. Maybe through them I could break into her silent mind.

"Isabelle," she said. She met my gaze evenly, curiously. Those eyes were just too powerful, and I had to look away. Feeling defeated, I excused myself

"Well, it was nice to meet you. Have a nice night."

She didn't reply, and after I closed the door behind me, I looked back. She was staring out her window again, eyes empty once more. I would tell Carlisle when he came in that she wasn't sleeping when I checked up on her. I assumed she must be in pain, but she still never asked for any medication. She didn't ask for anything except for that mysterious box.

My fascination with this human wasn't healthy, I decided. But I also couldn't help myself, always reluctant to pass up an opportunity to see her, even if it was through someone else's eyes. She was still awake when Carlisle went in to check up on her.

He was happy once again that she was speaking to him. A definite difference, _I wish I had asked Esme to come sooner_. "How long will I have to keep these casts on?" she asked with light curiosity. She sounded so tired.

He apologized, saying it would still be a few months. She gave a faint sigh, if it wasn't for his amplified sense of hearing, he wouldn't have noticed. "Are you okay Isabelle?" He asked, worriedly.

"Yeah, I just feel really gross, and it would be nice to take a shower." I laughed at the normalcy of it. Carlisle was thrilled that she was showing an interest or desire for something, and wanted to do all he could to help her. He smiled at her.

"Well, I have to change the casts anyways. I think it would be safe to just tape up your ribs, and put separate casts on your arm and leg now. I can do it today, if you would like." After she let him know that she would appreciate it, he left her room a little excited. He looked at me when he came out of the room, and smiled.

"Did you see that?" He asked happily. I smiled at him.

"Yeah, a really noticeable difference."

He nodded, then looked at me. "When was the last time you went home William?" I took a minute to think about it, but that was all the information that he needed. "You're going to start raising suspicion," _and you need to hunt_, he added silently.

"Sorry… You're right. I'll get going." I shot one more look at her door before heading out to my car.

* * *

Esme was happily flitting around the kitchen while watching the food network. She had made about five different types of pasta, and had no idea which type to bring the girl.

"It's been a long time since she's had solid food Esme. Even if she does eat, I doubt her stomach would be able to handle more than a few bites," I warned her.

"I know… I'll bring the rest by the soup kitchen on our way into town, I just wish I knew if any of it was actually any good. They all smell horrible," she said, making me laugh.

"Sorry, I have no idea how to help," I confessed. She smiled at me, and pulled me into one of her motherly hugs.

"It's nice to see you at home, you at work too much dear." _I wonder why he's torturing himself so much, but he's obviously taken an interest in the girl, maybe…_

"I'm going to go hunting. Will you be home before I head to work tonight?"

"Yes, of course. Enjoy your lunch," she said happily, and went back to cleaning up her mess.

I just couldn't stop thinking of her. What was it about this human that seemed to draw in my family so much? I barely paid attention while I took down two dear, then went home and got cleaned up. The house was completely empty, something that didn't happen often, and I wondered where the others had gone. Even the silence reminded me of her.

* * *

Once again, when the Hospital went silent, I found myself in her doorway. She was awake, staring at the wrapped tin in her lap. I could see her new casts easily from here, and wished I hadn't missed Carlisle on my way in. I wanted to know if she had talked at all today. Did she eat any of Esme's food? Should I knock, or walk in? Maybe she didn't want to talk to me, I was sure that she had been upset catching me in a lie yesterday. If she did let me in, what would I say to her? Damn, I had had the entire day to think about it, she was messing with my head, why did she distract me so easily…

"Why don't you just come in?" She said in an even voice. I froze for a moment, I had been caught again. I followed her advice though, and walked up to her bed. I needed to think of something to say. She gave me an odd look. "You can sit if you want," she offered. I was completely comfortable, but remembered that it would be unusual for a human. I took her on the offer after thanking her, and sat down on one of the chairs beside her bed.

She was looking at the contents of her lap again. God, what was in that box? Maybe I should just ask her. She must have felt me watching her, because she met my eyes again and stared back. She seemed a little… annoyed? That didn't happen often to me with human girls. Not to sound self-absorbed, but members of the opposite gender were usually quite fond of me. Not her though.

Once again, I fell under the pressure of her powerful gaze. I realized that she was probably waiting for me to say something. "How are you feeling today?"

It was a stupid question, considering her condition, and she seemed to think so too.

"Fine," she told me simply. I didn't believe her. Why did she keep staring at that box if it upset her so much?

"Liar," I accused lightly. I couldn't wait any longer "What's in the box?"

She seemed to grip onto it a little more tightly, and I heard her heart rate increase slightly. I immediately felt bad, I was curious but I'd rather deal with that than making her upset. "Important things," she said vaguely. I didn't push it, and watched her carefully to make sure she was alright. "Why are you staring at me?" She asked suddenly. Yes, I was definitely irritating her. She had a small crease in between her eyebrows as she scrunched them together. It was absolutely adorable, and I couldn't help my smile. That seemed to upset her even more, and I decided that I didn't want her to be mad at me. I wanted to see her again.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I just find you very… intriguing." She looked away from me this time, and as I saw her clutching onto that box, I realized that I was making her uncomfortable. I didn't want that. "Well, I should probably get back to my rounds," I told her, but she didn't look up at me again, and just gave a nod of acknowledgement. "Would it be okay if I came to visit you again?"

"Sure," she said, still not looking at me.

"Well, goodnight," I said, and she rested her head back on her pillow.

I had to stay late at work, being called in to assist in a surgery. The man had punctured a lung, and the surgery had been too much for his body to handle. He passed away on the operating table. There was a lot to do afterwards, and before I headed home, I decided to go check on the girl. Alice was walking her to her bed, having just helped her take a shower. Isabelle seemed a little lost in thought, and for some invisible reason, out of nowhere, she started panicking. Her heart rate and breathing sped up, and she clutched at her chest again like she was in pain.

Alice was taken by surprise, not knowing what could have triggered it. "Isabelle? What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

Her voice was weak when she spoke. "What happened to my truck?" She was worried about her vehicle? I found it hard to believe that she would have such a strong reaction thinking about her old truck. Alice gentle sat her down on her bed.

"Your truck is fine Isabelle. The damage wasn't too bad actually. I hope you don't mind, but I had the windshield replaced and the door fixed up."

Her face was surprised. "You had my truck fixed up for me?" She asked, like she was trying to make sure she had heard her properly. Alice nodded, seeing what she would do only a second before she did, and smiled happily. Isabelle practically flew at her, hugging her. "Thank you Alice, thank you so much. I don't know how to repay you. I can pay you back for the costs, I have money-"

Alice didn't want anything from her, and I knew that Rosalie wouldn't either.

"It was nothing really, my sister loves working on cars, so it didn't really cost anything. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you." She said again, her voice was filled with gratitude.

"Hey, it's okay. It's what friends do, right?" She was a little nervous asking her that, and I felt her joy flow into me when the girl answered her.

"Right."

I watched for a little while as Alice entertained herself by playing with the girl like a doll, then I begrudgingly went home and spent the day listening to music, trying to let it clear my mind of everything else.

* * *

I heard a peculiar noise coming from her room when I went to visit that night, and this time I even had an excuse. Esme wanted me to bring her some soup, hoping that it would be easier on her than the pasta had been. I was a little ashamed to admit that these little visits were becoming the highlight of my days. What was she doing in there?

Then I heard something that sounded like she had fallen out of bed, accompanied by a muffled scream. I flew into her room, ripping the door open, and found her sprawled out on the floor in the middle of the room.

I dashed to her side, and stopped myself just before touching her. "Isabelle! What are you doing? Are you okay?"

"Fine," she hissed out. She was trying to push herself back up with one arm, but her muscles were too week. I couldn't stand seeing her like that for another second, and she let out a small gasp of surprise as I easily scooped her up and placed her on her bed. I felt like I had been shocked by an electric current, her skin was like fire against mine. I liked it way too much.

"Umm, thanks," she mumbled, still a little shocked, but she quickly composed herself once more. Her breathing was quite laboured. She could have done major damage to herself with that fall, and I was extremely worried.

"Are you sure you're okay? Does it hurt any more than usual?"

"Nah, I'm good," she said easily. I had the impression that she was the type of person who had a hard time asking for help, or didn't want to appear weak. I didn't trust her response.

"I'm not buying it; you could have broken another rib. Would you mind if I checked? Or I could call for a different doctor, if you'd prefer." I had used up my air to talk, and when I went to take another breath I winced. She was bleeding, and the smell of that fresh, tantalizing blood seemed to make everything else fade away.

Carlisle burst through the door then, and the noise snapped me out of my thought. Alice had seen her fall a minute before it happened, and Carlisle had ran here from the house.

To save her from me, once again.

I was mortified, and looked away from her so she wouldn't see my face. I stayed frozen in place, not even listening to Carlisle's mind as he tended to her injuries. I was determined not to flee, not to be overcome by this thirst again. I gripped tightly onto the thermos I was still holding. I could have just left it with Carlisle but… No, I wanted to give it to her myself. It was the weakest excuse to stay, but was an excuse none the less.

I almost laughed when Carlisle opened up her window. Yeah, like that would help. Her scent had saturated everything in this room, a cracked window didn't stand a chance. The small breeze of cool air was a small relief though. I could think a little more clearly, but Carlisle didn't want to take a chance leaving me alone with her still and sat down in the chair next to her bed.

_I'm sorry William, but I just can't take the chance_, he told me sadly. He felt bad about it, but was more worried about the girl.

I was humiliated, but I didn't hold it against him. "It's okay, I understand," I whispered, too quickly and too quietly for the human to hear. I realized that I had been standing much to still, and started moving my chest again to imitate breathing as I turned around and walked carefully up to her bed. "Esme asked me to bring this to you on my way in. She thought soup might be easier on your stomach." I took another careful step away as soon as she took it from my hands. I couldn't bring myself to look into her eyes.

"Thank you, William." Hearing my name spoken on her lips sent an unexpected thrill through my body, and I couldn't help my smile. "And please, thank Esme for me too."

"Of course. Have a good night," I told her. That was the last of my air again, and I fled the room, walked past my office, and went outside to take a deep breath of clean air. I shouldn't have been surprised to find Alice waiting for me.

"I'm sorry Alice," I told her truthfully. I was grateful that she had sent Carlisle, I never would have forgiven myself if I had hurt her.

"It's okay Will. I don't think you would have hurt her… I just had to take the precaution. You understand, right?"

"Yes, of course."

"Oh! She's going to talk to Carlisle. He's going to feel so happy…" She said, walking inside to eavesdrop. I followed closely behind.

"Do you think she'd be mad if she found out what we were doing?" I asked her curiously. She knew her much better than I did, unfortunately.

"Oh yes, definitely," she said with a mischievous smile. "So you better not let her find out."

"It's a very rewarding career, working to try and save people's lives. It makes me feel like I'm doing a little good in a world that's filled with so much bad." Carlisle said. The rest of his answer went unspoken. He wanted to try and counteract some of the pain that our kind inflicted upon the world. He was trying to save his soul, even though he thought it wasn't possible. He never felt like he did enough.

"You're a great Doctor Carlisle, the best I ever had. And I've had a lot. I hope you know that what you're doing really does make a difference in people's lives."

It was like she was reading his mind also, knowing exactly what to say to make him feel better. There was no way that she could know just how much those words meant to him. He was so grateful, and filled with happiness. I realized that he had come to love this girl, and I should have seen it sooner. He saw her as one of his own children, just like the rest of us. The need to protect her, to heal her and help her was so, so strong inside of him. He rested a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you, Isabelle," _You have no idea how much it means to me, hearing those words from you._

I went back to my office, slowly working through the ridiculous amount of e-mails that were cluttering my inbox. I was befuddled by how this little human had wrapped my family so easily around her fingers. Alice, Carlisle, and even Esme were completely in love with her already. It was crazy and… dangerous. How could this possibly work? We would have to leave eventually, she would notice that we don't age, and telling her what we were would result in a death sentence from the Volturi.

It was hard to blame them though, because even I had become interested. I didn't understand her, and I wanted to. It was all I thought about, and I'm pretty sure it was slowly driving me mad.

What I did know about her, I liked. She was strong, independent, and caring. I knew from her academic records that she was smart, and she was very mature for her young age. And then there was her silent mind. I was drawn to it like a moth to a flame, desperate to try and figure the puzzle out, but even through her eyes and beautiful face she didn't seem to let any of her secrets escape. I wanted to know more, I wanted to know_ her_. I needed to, like I needed the blood that I drank to keep myself strong. My burning interest in her was just as strong as the flames that threated to burn through my throat when I was around her.

I was being absolutely ridiculous. I needed to find a healthier hobby. My shift ended, and I went home, determined not to go by her room again. She would get better, than move on to wherever it was that she was going, and I would be left in peace. I could wait out the next few months, that was nothing to my kind.

Alice was bouncing around the house, unable to contain her excitement when I came in from my hunt. She was singing loudly in her mind, just out of joy, not actually trying to block me out, but it had the same effect.

"What's got you all excited?" I asked her curiously.

"I think she's going to stay," she told me happily. "I can't be certain of course, but I think there's a good chance that she might."

I looked at her, wide-eyed. "Is that really a good idea?" I asked her, a little worriedly. She must know that we would have to leave again in a couple years.

"Don't be such a downer William. Everything will work out." She ran up to her room then, leaving me alone in the foyer.

Well then, that changes everything. My weak resolve to avoid her for the remainder of her stay crumbled apart in front of me. I was surprised by my own relief.

If she was going to be sticking around, hanging out with my sister- niece here, I corrected myself. It felt a little ridiculous- it would only be logical to get to know her, right? By the time I got to work, I had about three hundred and forty seven questions that I wanted to ask her.

I waited until the hospital got quiet, then went to check if she was still awake. Her door was open, and I knocked lightly with my right hand, the left carrying a container of weird looking gelatin that was apparently food. Esme had thought that she liked it earlier today, so I picked up some more for her.

She didn't seem to hear me, so I knocked again, this time saying her name. Nothing. She was staring at the ring on her finger, twisting it around again and again. Her face was completely emotionless.

I walked up to her bed, and said her name again, a little worried.

She looked up at me, a little surprised. I don't think she had heard me at all. "Oh, hey," she said a little difficultly. Her voice was thick with emotion, and she coughed like she was trying to clear it. The motion seemed painful.

"Are you okay?" I asked worriedly. Maybe she was feeling sick. I saw a flash of annoyance in her eyes, and realized that she probably got that question a lot.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said easily, and she looked out her window. I wondered why she never watched the television in her room, but she seemed to prefer watching the trees outside. I felt a little bad, it can't be easy to be stuck in this room all the time. Maybe I could escort her outside sometime soon. She was slowly starting to eat again, and Carlisle was hoping to take her IV out soon. I went and opened the window for her; she had seemed to like the breeze the other day. I was happy to see her relax slightly, erasing her irritation with me. "Thanks," she said quietly, and I considered that a small victory.

"Esme thought that you seemed to enjoy the Jell-O today, and asked me to bring by some more," I lied quickly. It sounded much better than 'Yeah, I was eaves dropping on you earlier today, and you seemed to enjoy eating this odd, jiggly excuse for food…'

"Thanks," she said again, as I slid her table closer to her and placed the food on it. It would be really nice if she would say more than two words to me. She talks to Alice, Esme and Carlisle… And human girls usually loved talking to me, even with the slight unease that came with being around a predator. She seemed completely uninterested though.

"Not a problem," I said. She took a few slow, small bites of the food, and I tried to decide which one of my questions I wanted to ask her first. I was a little distracted though by the slight shake in her hand, and the obvious effort that it took her to lift the spoon up to her mouth, chew, and swallow. At first I thought she was staring at her spoon, but I realised it was the ring that she was looking at still.

"That's a beautiful ring," I blurted out. I felt wrong referring to it as beautiful when she was in the room though. "So, are you married?"

God, that was a horribly stupid question. I knew it before her hand started to shake so much that she had to put down her utensil. She also seemed to be having some difficulty breathing, though I could tell that she was trying to keep it even. What was wrong with me? Something about being in her presence made me lose all poise and eloquence. Obviously she wasn't married, she was sitting here alone in a hospital on the opposite side of the continent. She had even told us that her fiancé was dead.

I was trying to figure out some way to apologize, but once again I couldn't seem to find any words. It was a long, tense moment before she beat me to speaking. "No, I guess I'm not." Her voice caught painfully on the words, and I wanted to badly to reach out and take her in my arms, to hold her and comfort her. She looked like she was so close to tears, which she hadn't done in weeks. I swear, if I was the one to make her cry, I would build my own pyre and hold myself to the stake as I burned.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm sorry, that was a really insensitive thing for me to ask. I didn't mean to-"

"I'm kind of tired," she said, cutting me off. I felt a sharp pain go through my dead heart. She obviously wanted me to leave, and I couldn't really blame her.

Dejectedly, I rose from my chair. "Yes, of course. Good night, Isabelle."

She didn't even look at me.

I walked back to my office, closed my door behind me, and dropped into my chair. I rested my elbows on my desk, hiding my face in my hands.

It wasn't long before Alice snuck into my office, and sat down in the chair on the other side of my desk.

"I had come here to yell at you, but you seem to be doing a fine job already at beating yourself up."

"What's wrong with me Alice?" I asked rhetorically. She answered anyways.

"You love her," she said easily.

I looked at her disbelievingly. "Excuse me?"

"Oh come on, it's obvious. You've been practically stalking her since she woke up, and when was the last time you've gone more than five minutes without thinking of her?"

I ignored that. "I don't even know her Alice. I'm just bothered by the fact that I can't hear her thoughts."

She smiled at me, getting up and walking to the door. "You don't know her _yet_, and the few things you do know already made you love her. Just wait until you _really_ get to know her." She laughed, and left me alone in my office, completely speechless.

I knew better than to bet against Alice.

It was a horribly long night, knowing that Isabelle was down the hall from me, upset and alone in her room. I didn't bother shying around her name anymore, I enjoyed the sound of it too much.

Alice waited impatiently for an acceptable hour to come around so she could go in and try to clean up the damage I had done. I went outside, and sat in the grass, leaning against the side of the building below her window. She looked completely exhausted, it was obvious that she hadn't gotten a moment of sleep. Alice saw a flash of relief in her face when she walked in.

I tuned out while Alice helped her take another shower, but when I heard the creak of her sitting down on her bed again I resumed listening and watching carefully through Alice's eyes. She seemed a little better.

Isabelle asked Alice to pass her one of her suitcases. Apparently she had lost the key for its lock, and I listened in disbelief as she asked her to pass her something to pick it with. Alice thought it was hilarious, handing her a bobby pin and watching her carefully maneuver the tumblers and open it. I hadn't been expecting that in the slightest, and wondered where she had learned to do it.

I was overcome with jealousy as the two of them sat together on the small bed, and Isabelle invited her to look through one of her photo albums. Alice's vision was slowly coming alive, I could tell that she actually enjoyed _her_ company. She shared some of her stories and memories about her life with her.

Her mood had seemed to lighten marginally while she had been talking to Alice, but perceptibly plummeted very suddenly while she had been listening. She didn't understand what had triggered it, just telling her little details about the town we were in. It seemed to happen occasionally to her. We would think that her mood was starting to lighten, and then it would automatically drop back down. It was painful for us all to watch.

Alice had been battling for a long time with the idea of bringing Jasper to meet her. She didn't want to put him through that pain, and hoped that she would be able to help Isabelle without his influence. But she saw her only getting worse tomorrow, and decided that she couldn't bear to keep watching it.

Isabelle seemed to still be trying to be polite though, and Alice decided it would be best if she left her to relax without the pressure of trying to please her. After putting her stuff away for her, she asked if she could bring Jasper over to see her tomorrow. Relieved that she didn't seem to mind, she wished her a goodnight.

I debated on going to see her tonight. Would she still be upset with me? I wouldn't doubt it if she didn't want to see me. But who's to say that she _never_ wanted to see me? She was a very polite person, and as I noted before a pretty good actress.

I couldn't stay away though. I walked down the hall, and knocked on her open door. "You can come in," she said quietly, barely looking up. I went and sat in the chair beside her bed, and inspected her face carefully. She looked really sick, and I think it would have been in her best interests to just sedate her and force her body to get some sleep. She looked over, and gave me a curious look. What did she think when she looked at my face? I couldn't read her mind, but I felt like she could see into mine. Even in her sickness, those eyes still looked so deep, so knowledgeable. What I would give to see what they were hiding.

I didn't know if she enjoyed my company or not, but I was determined to make her at least not hate me. I needed to be more careful, and work harder than I had yesterday. "I'm sorry again about yesterday. That was really insensitive of me."

"Don't worry about it." Her voice was even and polite. It was infuriating.

"You don't look like you slept very well last night." Maybe she would ask for something if I made her talk about it. She just shrugged, too smart to bother trying to deny it. But she didn't offer anything either. Maybe if I asked her _why_ she wasn't sleeping…

"So, do you only work night shifts? It's the only time I see you."

It was the largest sentence she had ever spoken to me, _and_ she was asking me a personal question. I was delighted that she seemed to actually want to talk to me, and I answered her quickly, wanting to take as much advantage of it as possible; I had been waiting a long time for this moment. "Mostly. They needed more Doctors for evenings, and I don't mind the hours really. Most people are asleep, so it's pretty quiet."

"You look pretty young to be a Doctor."

I wasn't surprised by the comment. I knew she was smart, she probably knew how long it took to get a doctorate's degree. I didn't want to give her the usual lie that I had finished school early, at a very young age, and had just started working here. I said the only truthful thing I could, and hoped that she wouldn't shut me out because of it. "Yeah, I get that a lot." I smiled at her, a little hopeful. I have been in enough female minds to know that it was a very good smile, but once again, she was immune to my charms.

"So, you must get pretty bored to end up in here with me. I know I can't be very interesting company." She was still talking to me, even if the words were ridiculous, I was still relieved. She was the most interesting person I had ever met.

"On the contrary, I find you very interesting." She shook her head, in disagreement? Exasperation? Irritation? I didn't know! And I needed to. "What are you thinking?" Oh my God, how much of a relief it felt to finally ask her those words.

I seemed to surprise her a little with the intensity of my curiosity. "I don't understand why you keep coming back here," she said quickly.

Isn't it obvious? I felt like it was written on my forehead. Alice was right, but there was no way I could admit that to either of them. "I just told you, I think you're interesting," I said in an easy, teasing voice.

She gave me another look, but I couldn't read her expression. "I'm not sure if that's an insult of a compliment."

I was aghast, could she truly think that I was trying to insult her? I quickly analyzed my behaviours over the past few days. She was a very perceptive person, is it possible that she had caught on to more of my slip-ups than she led on? My gracelessness around her could have come off as rude I guess. Once again, I was ashamed of myself. "I definitely did not mean it as an insult, but I'm sorry that I made you feel that way."

She gave me another speculative look, and I prayed that she saw my honesty. Feeling weak under her gaze, I tried to shift the subject. What was something normal to ask? "So, what sort of stuff do you like to do in your spare time?"

I thought it was an easy, safe question to ask, but she thought about it carefully for a while before answering. I had never been a patient person before, and being around her was making that even worse, but I tried my hardest to at least _look_ patient. I was tempted to start tapping my foot, something that had never happened to me before.

"I like to read." That's it? That's what she took so long to decide to say? No, it wasn't enough.

"What do you like reading?"

"Anything and everything. Novels, textbooks, poetry, research papers, new or old, it doesn't matter." She actually enjoyed reading textbooks? I'm pretty sure that that was very… not normal for human teenagers.

"Do you have a favourite?"

"Not really, it changes with my mood." She was saying so much, but still giving me nothing at the same time. Can she not see how frustrating this was?

"What about TV shows, or movies?"

"No to TV, I don't really care for it. I don't mind movies, but I would rather read it in a book though." So that's why she never turned it on, she did actually prefer watching the trees outside.

"What sort of movies? Romance, comedy?"

She laughed. She actually laughed. It wasn't a real laugh though, it was empty of joy, but it made me dream of what her real laugh would sound like. "No, action movies mostly."

She surprised me once again; she likes action movies and can pick locks. "What's your favourite one?"

"Fight Club." I wanted to ask her what she liked about it exactly, but she spoke before I could. "What sort of stuff do you do?"

I didn't want to talk about myself, I still had years worth of questions that I wanted to ask her, but I was also pleased that she was curious enough to ask. Or was she just being courteous? Maybe she was uncomfortable talking about herself?

What had I been doing for entertainment lately? Obsessing about her, and that was not a good response. Before she had come here, it had been work as usual. "I like reading too, but lately it's been mostly for work."

"It can't be an easy career to keep up with, with medical sciences constantly changing and all."

"It's what I enjoy most about it really, I love learning new things. It's a bit of a passion of mine."

"Mine too," she said quickly. We had something in common. It explained why she had done so well in school. "What else?"

She stole the question from me. I thought quickly, what did I like to do? Everything seemed to pale in comparison to her company. "Music. I love playing the piano."

"I've always wanted to learn that. There is so much more you can say and express with music, words can be so restrictive sometimes." I was enthralled by her words, once again taking pleasure in the fact that we had things in common. She seemed a little embarrassed though. "Sorry, that probably sounded pretty weird."

"Not at all, I feel the same way, actually." She relaxed slightly, and tried to muffle a yawn. This was the most I had ever heard her talk before, and I realised that it was probably exhausting for her. I was even more reluctant to leave her now though, I was enjoying her company too much. I would have been happy to just sit here and watch her sleep. If she slept, that is. But I did want her to rest, and I doubted that she would if I was here staring at her. "Sorry, you should get some sleep, and I should probably get some work done."

"Oh, okay." Was that disappointment in her voice? No, I must have imagined it. Wishful thinking.

"Good night." She gave me a small nod, and I left her room.

My mind was spinning, and I could barely pay attention to the nurse as she went over her logs with me. Isabelle had actually had a real conversation with me. I had heard her laugh. I had finally started to get a few answers to some of the many questions I had for her. She seemed almost happy while we talked too. I was struck with worry about that suddenly, worried that her mood would plummet again, as it always seemed to do when she showed the slightest bit of improvement. Was she sleeping now, or was she staring blankly out her window again?

One of the alerts chimed as someone called for a nurse. I looked over automatically, and my excitement shot up when I noticed that it was coming from Isabelle's room. "Sorry Doctor Masen, I'm just going to go check this patient really quickly, I'll be right back."

"That's okay Stephanie, I'll go check on her for you. You can just finish this up and I'll sign off on it when I get back."

"Are you sure? You don't need to-" I was already walking away, ignoring whatever she was going to say. I walked into her room happily; once I had gotten more accustomed to her scent, it was entrancing to be around. There was nothing wrong with enjoying the bouquet, as long as I didn't sample it. "Miss me already?" I asked jokingly, then worried if I was being to forward. She didn't seem to notice though; she was sitting up in her bed, looking surprised to see me.

"Oh, sorry… I thought they'd send a nurse."

She was apologizing? Did she not see how happy I was for the opportunity to see her again so soon? "Nothing to apologize for. What's up?"

"Do you think you could… help me walk over to the bathroom?" Yes, she was a very independent person, it was obvious that she despised having to ask for help. She was smart to do so though, Carlisle had been completely serious is his threat to encase her in plaster for her own safety.

"Of course," I told her, trying to contain my excitement as I held out my hand for her. She only looked at it for a moment, then reached out. Once again I felt that burning electricity flow into me through her touch, and a momentary flash of surprise in her eyes told me that she had felt it too. She seemed to push it aside quickly though, ignoring it. I worried when she swayed once she stood up, and placed a steadying hand on her back. I could feel her bones through her thin shirt. I knew she was trying now, but she really needed to eat more, and soon. This is why she isn't healing properly, that and her sleeping issues. I couldn't even feel her weight as she let me help her across the short room, and wished that she would let me support more of her weight while she walked. I hated seeing how difficult it was for her to move, it was excruciating, I just wanted to pick her up and carry her. I don't know if I would have been able to let her go afterwards though.

She met my eyes, and gave me waiting look. I just stared back, enjoying this rare closeness to her. She was like fire in my hands, and I was happy to burn. "Umm, a little privacy, maybe?"

"Yes, of course. Sorry. I'll just… wait outside." I stumbled over the words, abashed, then spun out of the door.

I waited patiently for her outside of the door, taking her hand again eagerly. She didn't acknowledge the tingling sensation caused by the contact of our skin again, but I was very much aware of it. She _had_ to feel it.

"Thank you," she said, after sitting back into her bed.

"Not a problem. I was kind of surprised that you were still awake, are you having trouble sleeping again?" I decided I had to ask her directly about these things, I think she was too strong minded to ask for help, it had been obvious that she hadn't wanted to when she called for the nurse.

"A little."

"Is the pain keeping you up? I can get you some painkillers or something to help you sleep if you want." _Please, just let me do something to help you._

"No thanks… Painkillers always make me sick. I'd prefer the pain to the nausea to be honest." She was already sick, I could give her an injection of Gravol to counteract any nausea. The thought of piercing a needle through her delicate skin was horrifying though, even though I've done it a thousand times before to other people. It was different with her though, and not just because of the temptation of her blood. Maybe she was lonely? Could that keep someone up? Maybe if I kept her company for a while I could manage to bore her to sleep.

"I could… sit with you for a bit if you want?"

"That- No, that's okay. Thank you though."

I was tempted to ask again, but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. "Okay, well just buzz if you want anything."

"Thank you."

She didn't seem too bad when I had left, so I was surprised to see Alice come in with Jasper so much earlier than she usually did. I saw her vision of Isabelle, who had once again barely slept throughout the night. I cursed the girl's hard-to-read exterior, and then myself for not insisting to stay with her.

I walked them up to her room, and waited with anticipation inside of Jasper's mind. I should be able to get a better look into her mind through him. As we walked down the hall though, he was worried because he couldn't feel anyone there. "Maybe you just need to be closer to her," I told him, and he nodded.

Alice walked in ahead of us, and I saw Isabelle smile. My jealousy returned; she could make her smile, but I couldn't. And this was a real smile, not empty like the small laugh I had taken as a small victory last night.

Jasper ignored me though, more concentrated on the small, seemingly emotionless girl in the room in front of him. He took one more step forward, and it was like walking into a brick wall.

She was happy, excited for the briefest moment to see Alice, then a second later, agonising guilt, followed by pain and sadness. We both winced under the weight of it.

"You should have brought me here sooner," he whispered to Alice, a little overwhelmed.

"Morning Isabelle," she said, leading him into the room.

"Hey," she said weakly.

"This is my boyfriend Jasper, he wanted to come by and meet you," Alice said, trying to force the worry out of her expression.

She inspected Jasper quickly as he came in behind her. Recognition, and curiosity. _Does she know? _He asked me.

"I think she just realizes the similarities. She wouldn't be this calm if she knew what we were," I whispered from the other side of the door.

She felt embarrassed and self-conscious when he came in, so he lightly started to brush the emotions away. Her eyes widened in shock, and she looked at him accusingly. He was shocked too, we both were. Somehow, she had figured out that it was him manipulating her emotions. She composed herself quickly. Yes, she was much too perceptive. Intrigue, that was what she felt now about him.

"Hey," she said, utterly calm. Why wasn't she freaking out?

He thought her nonchalant words were hilarious, and somehow knew that she could feel his amusement. "Hey," he told her, smiling as he mirrored her cool words.

Another short flash of happiness, but over-ridden quickly by guilt. He wanted to help her, but wasn't sure she would appreciate him messing with her head now that she was aware of him. So he just started with a little, slowly erasing a tiny bit of the pain. She was worried for a moment, and he took that away too. As soon as it passed, she welcomed the relief, she was desperate for it. She couldn't stand drowning in her own pain anymore, but had no idea what to do with it. Knowing that she didn't mind, he drew it all away from her gladly.

_I can't make it go away for real, but I can give her some peace for a while_. We all watched gratefully as she collapsed back in her bed, completely as ease, and a beautiful smile spread across her relaxed face.

It was the oddest thing, how she thanked him. She concentrated on her gratitude, seemingly pointing it at him, like she was absorbing his gift and reflecting it back at him. No one had ever quite done that before. He did likewise, projecting his feeling of happiness to do so. Within minutes, she was sound asleep, and I walked into the room to join them.

"That was different," he said, and Alice looked at him, her eyes glazing over for a second.

"She knew it was you?" She asked in surprise, shooting a look at the girl.

"Definitely. It was like she could feel me in her mind, not just what I was doing. Even you hadn't caught on that quickly William." I laughed.

"But how was she?" she asked worriedly.

"Bad. I think it's a lot of survivor's guilt. Whoever she lost, she loved them. Really, truly loved him. That isn't an easy thing to heal from."

"There is definitely something different about her. It was strange that you couldn't feel her until you were inside of the room. And Alice sees her better when she closer to her."

"What about if you're closer to her? Have you tried?"

"Yes, I have. Not a single thought," I said, my frustration palpable.

"Interesting." Yes, that was an understatement.

I was slowly starting to find out more about her though, and as I left them to watch over her, I was determined to find out even more when I came back later tonight. I would come back every day, for as long as she would let me.

**Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter Twelve: Scars

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. Caution: ****Will contain mature language and subject matter.**

**Chapter Twelve :: Scars**

When I woke up, I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so well rested and relaxed. I groggily opened up my eyes, and realized that the sky was dark. My eyes opened wide then, looking around for a clock that didn't exist. Instead I found Jasper, sitting alone beside my bed with a book in his hand. He looked up at me when I woke up, and gave me a small smile.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked him quietly.

"About fourteen hours," he said gently. Had he been sitting here the entire time, just to help me sleep? A wave of guilt washed over me, and I felt him quickly wipe it away, replacing it with calmness. Did all vampires have strange powers like this? I tried to figure out a way to ask without blowing my cover. He was watching me curiously.

"How do you do that?" I asked simply. I was certain that he already knew that I had figured it out. He looked a little uncomfortable, but I could actually_ feel_ his unease while he was still working in my mind. "Sorry, you don't need to answer that," I said shyly, feeling bad for making him _uncomfortable_ while he was making me so comfortable. Once again, he brushed the feeling away.

"No, it's okay. I don't see the point in trying to hide it from you. I've never met someone who's figured it out as quickly as you did before." He gave me another curious look. My guess had been right. "I've been able to do it for as long as… I can remember, really." I'm pretty sure that he meant 'as long as I've been a vampire,' but I wasn't going to interrupt for obvious reasons. "For some reason, I can feel the emotions of everyone around me, just like they were my own feelings. After some time and practice, I realized that I could manipulate them as well."

"It can't be very easy then, being in a place like this." He just shrugged, but I could see that I was right. Even just being around me. I was immediately worried and guilty. I didn't want this kind vampire to suffer through my pain as well. He started pulling the feelings away again, and I felt too selfish for wanting it so badly. "Jasper, you really don't need to keep doing that."

"I want to though."

"Well, I _don't_ want you to. Thank you, I'm very grateful for your help, but I can deal with my problems on my own." No, I would not let him suffer with me. I needed to deal with this myself.

"Can you?"

Irritation shot through me at his suggestion of my weakness. Okay, I admit that I've been having some difficulty lately, but I'm pretty sure I was entitled to my sadness after everything that happened.

He tried to dissolve my anger, making it even worse, and I concentrated very hard on the feeling of him in my mind. Using all of the concentration I had, I pushed him out.

He stared at me, mouth open and eyes wide in surprise.

"I am _not_ weak. I don't need your help," I told him angrily.

His face looked hurt, and I instantly felt guilty. He had only been trying to help me, but he had really pissed me off. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate that."

I sighed tiredly. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to snap at you like that, but I _do_ need to deal with this on my own."

"It's okay, I understand. No hard feelings?" He was watching me worriedly, and I tried to give him a small smile.

"No hard feelings. I meant it though, thank you for your help. I haven't slept so well in months." Since I had fallen asleep in Jacob's arms, after he asked me to marry him.

"It was my pleasure. Do you mind if I ask you how you did that though?"

"Did what?"

"Pushed me out."

"I don't know… I could feel you there and… just pushed you out. I don't really know how to explain it. Why?"

"Because no one has ever done that before either. I can't even feel you right now, your emotions are completely shielded from me." Good, I thought, happy that I was once again alone in my head. Elijah's words echoed in my mind once more. Is this what he meant by shield?

Alice came back with a tray of food for me then. The hospital food was horrible, but I made myself swallow one bite of everything. Some sort of mystery meat, soggy beans and lumpy mashed potatoes. I was tempted to ask one of them to take me down there so I could tell them how to do it properly, and save the rest of the patients from the horror of eating it. I filled up on the chocolate chip cookie, you just couldn't ruin chocolate.

It was pretty late, so Alice and Jasper left not long after. I was trying not to let them see how much I actually missed Jasper's influence. He didn't try to change them for me again, but a little while after I had pushed him out I'm pretty sure he could feel me once more. I had no idea how to block him out again though, with no way to tell if it was working or not without asking him. None the less, after he had stopped helping me, I had no idea how to stop my mood from plummeting back down. It just wasn't right to be sitting here talking happily when my fiancé, father and child were all gone.

They both left the room, and I closed my eyes tightly, trying to push the feelings away myself. I opened them again after a few seconds when Jasper slipped into my room again, alone.

"What's up?" I asked him in a calm voice.

"Isabelle, I won't manipulate your emotions again without your permission. I want you to know though that you shouldn't feel guilty about being alive when they're not. It's not your fault."

I looked at him evenly. "Jasper, you have no idea how wrong you are."

He didn't falter. "Either way, if they loved you even half as much as you loved them, they would want you to be happy."

And then he left.

* * *

I thought about his words for hours, and I couldn't argue that he was partially right. Charlie and Jacob loved me, of that I was completely sure. If I gave up and faded away, their sacrifices would have been in vain. I couldn't allow that.

So I would continue to live.

Even with that resolution made though, it didn't lessen the pain. Knowing that I would live a life without his touch, without his voice or smile was suffocating.

Even if I didn't enjoy it, I would live. For Jacob.

And after I was done on this planet, maybe I would be able to meet him again.

* * *

I was wide awake after sleeping all day, alert and energetic. I had no idea what time it was, but Alice and Jasper had left hours ago, and it was very dark outside. The hospital was eerily quiet. Maybe I should ask for a clock or something… No, I think that would be even worse, staring at the clock's hands as they slowly ticked by. Watching the trees would be better. Was I wearing my watch when I came here? I don't even remember the last time I had seen it.

It looked so pretty outside. The trees were all different colours of oranges, yellows and reds, not that I could make out the colours right now in the dark. It was probably getting cold out again, and soon the leaves would fall and I would have nothing but their empty dendroid shapes to admire.

God this room was boring.

_I had books in my suitcase!_ Until now I hadn't really felt the desire to read, but being stuck in this eerie silence alone was driving me crazy.

I carefully maneuvered myself out of my bed. To be sure that I wouldn't fall, I decided to use one of the chairs that were next to my bed. One had four metal legs, but the other was one of those wheeling computer-desk chairs. Alice had brought it in today to sit on. _Thank you Alice. _

I used my good leg to push it up against the wall so that it wouldn't roll away, then carefully stood out of my bed, and gently sat down. My ribs twitched painfully from the motion, making it a little difficult to breathe. I'm pretty sure it's been close to two months, shouldn't they have healed more by now? I sighed, then used my good leg to push myself across the room, dragging my leg cast along the floor behind me. I made it to the small closet and opened it up. I couldn't bend my torso, it was just too painful, and the suitcase was too low on the ground to reach. Luckily I hadn't locked it again, so I used my toes to undo the zipper before kicking it open slightly.

I knocked around the books, trying to figure out what I wanted to read. I had been trying to save money while in Forks, so I hadn't added much to my collection. The new books I had gotten, I had lent to Angela.

Angela, I hadn't talked to her since before Charlie had died. I never even said goodbye to her. I wondered how she was doing in school…

I just wasn't in the mood to read one of my novels again, I had already read them so many times. So I used my toes to pull out my dictionary. Why did it feel so much heavier? I was able to lift it close enough to grab it with my hand. "Yes!" I whispered happily, feeling triumphant. I slowly started to wheel myself back to my bed.

I tried to push myself up with my one good hand, but I barely made it two inches off of my chair before my arm gave out and I dropped back into my seat, hissing painfully. I quickly checked the stitches on my stomach, and was relieved to find out that at least I wasn't bleeding.

"Isabelle, are you okay?" My door had been open, and William peeked his head into the room. Damn vampire hearing.

"Umm, I think I'm fine," I said hesitantly. I spun in my chair to look at him. He took one look at me in my chair, clutching a dictionary, and gave me an odd look. I panicked. "Please don't tell Carlisle." I gave him my best pouting face, and it seemed to do the trick.

"It doesn't look like there was any harm done, so I don't see the need to tattle," he said with a smile. "You look a little stuck though."

I felt my cheeks flush, and nodded. I didn't want to risk falling back in my chair again, it just hurt too much. He walked over, but didn't reach out to help me up. He just looked at me for a minute.

"You look wide awake."

"Yeah, I slept most of the day."

"Well, I'm taking a break right now… would you like to get out of this room for a little bit?"

I looked over at my IV. I wanted to say yes so badly. "Would that be okay?"

"Carlisle was going to take the IV out tomorrow anyways. If you promise to eat something tonight, I can take it out."

I smiled widely at him, not able to contain my excitement. He stared at me oddly for a minute, then went and grabbed a wheelchair. I watched his face carefully as he removed the IV, taping a cotton ball where it had been. I counted the seconds between his breathing, and just like with Alice, it was a little too even. He was very close to me, and I also didn't feel his breath, so I'm pretty sure that he wasn't actually breathing at all. Vampires were already dead though right? So they wouldn't really need air, would they?

He helped me stand up, quickly grabbed my quilt and wrapped it around my shoulders, and helped me gently sit in the wheel chair. He was so fluid in his motions, just like the others, and I always found it almost entrancing to watch. They made everything look like a dance. He propped up my leg, and I asked him to grab my purse for me, just out of habit.

I was practically bouncing in excitement as he rolled me down the hallway. It was so quiet in here, and I realized why when we passed by a clock. Three in the morning, my sleeping schedule was way messed up. We took an elevator down one floor, and he slowly wheeled me outside.

He was quiet while he led me around, and I was distracted by taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. We seemed to be surrounded by woods on three sides, and the front of the hospital was facing a river off in the distance, a road and a field the only thing in between. It was really pretty, and the fresh air felt amazing on my skin. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. When I opened them, I could see his face, and he was looking down at me with a small smile.

"Thank you William. You have no idea how good it feels to be outside of that little white room." My head was starting to get dizzy, so I leaned it forward again.

"You're very welcome." He stopped after a lap around the building, and parked me in front of a water fountain in a small courtyard behind the hospital. Even with all of the plants going into hibernation, it was still beautiful. He sat down on its edge in front of me.

"So, why did you go through so much effort to get that dictionary?" He asked me curiously.

"I had forgotten that I had lent the last new books I had gotten to a friend before I… left. I was looking for something to read, but I had already read the few books I have so many times already."

"So you decided to read a dictionary?"

I shrugged. It was so much harder to do with one arm weighed down in plaster. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

He laughed loudly. It was a nice sound. "You seem… better today."

"A good sleep can make a big difference."

He nodded. "You know that's why it's taking so long for you to heal. Your body needs rest, and food."

"I'm trying," I said quietly.

He leaned forward. "I know you're trying Isabelle, and you've come a long way in a short time, but you need to let us help you." There was a pleading look in his eyes, and the strength of it surprised me. Yes he visited me, but we really hadn't spoken very much. I didn't see why he would care so much. "You want to get out of here, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"Then why aren't you sleeping?"

Because every time I close my eyes I see them. "I hurt everywhere. It keeps me up."

He nodded. "I know that the medication makes you sick, but we can give you something to counteract the nausea. Can you please let Carlisle give you something? At least at night so that your body can rest?"

I looked away, off into the woods, and thought about it for a few minutes. I did want to get out of here sooner if possible. I could deal with it for a couple of weeks, if it meant getting out of here faster. I nodded once, and it sounded like he sighed in relief. I looked over to find him smiling. "Can we stay out here for a little while longer though?"

"Of course."

We sat in comfortable silence, listening to the wind blowing through the dry leaves on the trees. The cold air was making it more painful to breathe, but I was reluctant to go back inside. Once I started to shiver though, William said it was time to go.

I asked him to stop when we passed a vending machine, and got a chocolate bar and a bottle of apple juice. I don't know how much weight I had lost, but I wasn't worried about the calories in the slightest.

"I'm going to give Carlisle a call and let him know that you changed your mind. Want to stop by my office with me?"

"Sure," I would be glad to procrastinate as much as possible before going back to that small room, and was surprised to find out that his office was just a ways down the hall from it. He wheeled me in, then walked around his desk and picked up his phone.

It was a simple office, a small room with a rectangular desk. There was a window centered on the back wall, with narrow book cases on either side of it. I stared at the titles on their spines while he spoke quickly and quietly to Carlisle, but the words on their spines were too small to read. I opened up my chocolate bar, and took a bite before he hung up.

"Carlisle was very pleased, he said I could start you on something tonight if you want."

"Okay," I said quietly. There was no point in holding it off I guess.

He brought me back to my room, and helped me get back into my bed before going and grabbing a few pills and a small glass of water. They weren't easy to swallow, but I got them down. "Well, I need to get back to work," he said uneasily.

"Thanks again for the little field trip."

"My pleasure. Good night."

I gave him a small wave, and he left the room.

* * *

I had waited to drift off, but it didn't happen. I'm pretty sure over an hour went by, but I couldn't be certain. My body started shaking, almost shivering, even though I wasn't cold. It was making me nauseous, and even though my body had started to feel numb, the slight, constant movement seemed to be making the pain worse. I couldn't think straight, my head was spinning and scattering my thoughts, and it started to scare me. I just couldn't take it anymore, and pressed the button to call the nurse. A woman came in only a minute or two later.

"Hello dear, did you call?"

I nodded. "I don't feel very well."

She came over, but my shaking was even making it hard to see, so I shut my eyes tightly. She took my blood pressure, then told me that she'd be right back.

She was, and she had William with her. He came over, and picked up my wrist, taking my pulse. Then he took my blood pressure too.

"Do you feel nauseous?"

"Yes-s," I whispered through chattering teeth. I wasn't cold, it felt so hot in here that I'm sure that I was sweating, but my body couldn't stay still. "I can't s-stop shaking, and it's making everything hurt, and I can't think straight and-"

"Shhh, Isabelle, you're going to be just fine. Your body's just adapting to the medication." I wasn't far gone enough to admit to him that I was afraid, but I think he saw it in my face. "Stephanie, I'm just going to sit with her for a while. Can you come get me if anyone needs me?"

"Of course Doctor Masen," she said, giving me a gentle look. It was the first time I had heard someone call him Doctor Masen, he still looked much too young to be a doctor. I wondered what his cover story was, he hadn't given it to me.

"I'm s-sorry," I whispered. "You k-keep get dragged b-back here."

"Shh. I don't mind it, really. This is my job here, and at least I'm in good company."

"This is what you d-do?"

"Yup. I'm here to take care of long term patients at night. Sometimes I help out in the ER when they're short on staff, or needed for other little things, but this is my main role here."

I threw off my blanket, and wiped the sweat off of my forehead with my arm. My eyes were closed, so I didn't see when he raised his hand, and placed it delicately across my forehead. My eyes shot open at the surprise of his touch, but I relaxed quickly. It felt so nice.

"Thanks," I whispered with a sigh. He was giving me that curious look again. Should I have maybe pretended to be freaked out by his coldness? Damn.

"I'm really surprised that you've managed to stay awake," he said, breaking the awkward silence. I laughed out loud at the words that went through my mind.

"Nope. I'm a vampire, I only sleep during the day." I saw his eyes widen the tiniest bit in surprise just like I had expected. I made myself laugh. Ow. "I'm just kidding. Look," I smiled widely, pointing to my teeth. "No fangs!"

He relaxed, laughing too. Oh, if only he knew. But I was still determined not to tell them, my instinct just warned me away from it.

He got me to drink some more of my juice, and it felt like another hour before my body started to calm down. It wasn't as scary when I wasn't alone though. I was able to keep track of the time loosely because he seemed to take my blood pressure every ten minutes or so.

"Thank you again," I told him, finally feeling sleepy.

"No problem. I'm going to let you rest now, but I'll see you again another time."

"Will you? If Carlisle starts giving me stuff to make me sleep, I won't be awake to bug you at three in the morning anymore," I pointed out.

He smiled. "You're right, but I could come visit you outside of my work schedule sometime, if you don't mind."

I thought about it. I was building a collection of regular vampire visitors to my room. This was so weird. "No, I don't mind."

He nodded with a smile. "Goodnight."

"'Night." I barely got the word out before I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

I woke up in the late morning the next day. I had a migraine and was dizzy, but besides that I was fine. It was a beautiful and bright sunny day, and I think it was the first time I had really seen it this bright. The days here seemed mostly overcast, just like home. I loved the sun, but my skin was so sensitive to it. I found that the less you had of it though, the more you appreciated those bright sunny days like this. I wanted to run outside and splay in the grass, and soak up as much of it as I could. Unfortunately, it was probably much colder than it looked.

And speaking of things that were colder than they looked, I seemed to be alone today. I sat up in my bed for almost two hours, and not a single person walked into my room. Someone had been by while I was asleep though, because there was a tray of food next to my bed. It was mostly good stuff too. My stomach felt hollow and empty, the closest thing to hunger I had felt in a while. So I munched on my apple, drank my apple juice, and picked at a chocolate chip and banana muffin.

My wheelchair that I had used last night was still beside my bed, and seeing that as permission I wheeled myself over to my bathroom. It still hurt sitting up and down, but at least my muscles felt strong enough to do it today. I felt a little accomplished after all of that, and sat in my bed scanning through pages at random in my dictionary, trying to find words I had never heard before, and trying to imagine scenarios in which I could use them.

It was better.

Jasper's help yesterday had changed things for me. My mind was clearer now, even with the headache. He had helped me start sleeping again, made me realize how much I needed it, enough to help me take a step towards the medication. Along with that, slowly getting back into the habit of eating again was starting to give me some energy.

And I was determined not to appear weak anymore. That had struck me so strongly; it was like a bucket of freezing water had been thrown on me to wake me up. Just because they were some magical, supernatural beings didn't mean they were superior to me. Just because they may be physically stronger, didn't necessarily mean they were stronger in every way.

And Jacob. If it had been me that had passed, I would want him to go on. If I could look down on him, and see him going through what I have… I would want to die all over again. He was my soul mate, I had to believe that he would want the same thing. So I was going to try to make the best of this, to make him happy and thank him. It would never be like it was, I don't think I could ever truly be happy again. The pain was still there, constantly throbbing, but I would try my best to just learn to live with it.

Sometime in the early afternoon a doctor I had never met before entered my room, introducing himself as Doctor Mitchell. He asked me what I had eaten, the last time I used the washroom, how I was feeling, and took my pulse and blood pressure. After asking me if I wanted anything for the pain, I told him that I didn't need it. I would wait until I needed to go to sleep. He wasn't mean about it, I've had plenty of worse ones before, but he was just so computer and business like. His words were rehearsed and bored, and I just couldn't help thinking about the obvious difference between him and the two vampire doctors that I knew.

"Okay then, just ring for the nurse if you need anything. Dinner will be in three more hours." He turned to leave.

"Excuse me, Doctor Mitchell?"

"Hmm?"

"Where is Doctor Cullen today?"

"I'm sorry Ma'am, I can't disclose personal information to patients."

"Oh, sorry. Okay."

He left the room, closing the door behind him.

I worried. The first thing that came to mind was that I had spoken in my sleep. Jacob had told me before that I did it every once in a while, and that sometimes he would hear me say his name. I worried that William might have heard it, and put the pieces together that I had found out their secret. He could have told the others, and they could have all fled. I didn't remember having a single dream though.

The second thought came to me as I stared out at my rectangle of clear blue sky. A memory of a lazy, rainy day, sitting in his shed and helping him change the oil in Harry's car.

"_So, on full moons, do you guys _have_ to change? Like werewolves?"_

_He laughed loudly. The sound always warmed me, it was my favorite sound in the world. "No, I don't think werewolves exist. If they do, I don't know anybody that knows any." I laughed then too, and he leaned forward, kissing me firmly on the lips while smiling. I got distracted, and he managed to smear oil over one of my cheeks._

"_Hey!" I tried to smack him with my wrench, knowing better than to risk breaking my hand trying to hit him. He danced easily out of the way. "Well what about the vamps, do they burst into flames when they go into the sun? Do they have to sleep underground?"_

_He shuddered, and I immediately went to take his hand. He smiled. "I'm okay. It's just really freaky. I met with them once after I became Alpha, just to let them know who I was and verify first hand that they would stay in accordance with all rules of the treaty. It was the middle of the day, and a bit of sun broke out through the clouds just before they left. Their bodies… I don't know. I told you how they're solid and cold like stone right?"_

"_Yeah, that's why your ancestors called them the "Cold Ones."_

_He smiled, happy but not surprised that I had kept up. But who could forget a story liked that? "Well, Crystal might be a better word than stone. They didn't burst into flames or anything, but the light refracted all weird and crazy off of their skin."_

"_Weird."_

"_You have no idea babe, it still gives me goose bumps."_

Maybe this was the first really sunny day since I've woken up. Don't get me wrong, we'd have sunny breaks all the time, they just didn't last very long. I hadn't really been paying attention to it before though, so I wasn't sure if they were ever around when it was this bright out though. The sky was still a clear blue, the sun high in the sky, so I knew that either way I wouldn't find out until tonight. If I could stay awake long enough to see William that is.

I was surprised by how much I missed Alice. Had I ever gone a day without seeing her here? I don't think so. If she had left… no, I wouldn't let my mind go down that path just yet. Besides, I shouldn't be getting so attached to these vampires.

But, I realized that I didn't really see them as vampires. When I pictured one, I saw the evil, cold, red-eyed monster that had killed my loved ones. The Cullens were nothing like him.

They seemed to like me for some reason too. I had no family, and I know that I could never bear to go back to my pack, no matter how much I missed them. These vampires were all that I had right now, really.

I had thought so much about him today. I had put aside my dictionary, and pulled my tin out from under my pillow. I stared at it for a long while, battling with myself. Knowing that I still had at least a few hours of sun before I would start worrying, I was able to finally open the box.

I put as much force as I could into keeping my breaths as slow and even as possible as I picked up the small wooden wolf. So life-like, so much like him.

"_Now, no matter where you are, you'll always have a little piece of me with you."_

It was just too much, but at the same time, I couldn't bring myself to put it down. I stared at that wolf until the sky started to turn pink, then numbly wrapped it back up in the small handkerchief an put it back in. I took one fleeting glance at the picture that was on top of the stack, wrapped with a piece of ribbon.

Jake was wearing his white dress shirt, with black slacks and a tie. He was holding me almost three feet off of the ground, his big hands around my waist, my feet dangling in the air as he kissed me.

I couldn't take another second. I carefully closed the box, and it took me a while to be able to tie it back up. I held it against my chest, still able to feel his lips on mine, until a nurse came in with dinner. I made myself eat, even though the food was horrible. Not as bad as yesterday though. I had two chicken nuggets and ate all of my cherry Jell-O.

Another nurse came by, giving me the same medication as yesterday. I took it nervously, but hopefully today wouldn't be as bad. I sat alone in my bed, watching the sun set while my body trembled under my thick quilt. My eyes slowly started to get heavy, and soon I was having trouble keeping them open. The sun disappeared, and my room went dark.

My door shot open and Alice, Carlisle, and William were standing in my door way, looking at me intently. I smiled sleepily. "You didn't leave," I sighed in relief. Then sleep took me, and they faded away.

* * *

I woke up again with a migraine, but the light coming in through the window was very pale, and easy on my eyes. I was dizzy and groggy, and it took me a couple of minutes to fully open my eyes and get my mind to start working.

I remembered yesterday, and realized that I was still hugging onto my tin. I looked around, and found Alice in her usual spot beside my bed. She was looking at me worriedly, but I couldn't stop myself from smiling, just so happy and relieved to see her.

"Morning Alice."

"I'm so sorry that I didn't come to see you yesterday," she said quickly. I tried to sit up quickly to reassure her, and sucked in a sharp breath from the pain. "Hey hey hey, careful. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just moved a little too quickly." I took a couple of hard breaths, but the pain passed quickly.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay Alice; you have a life of your own. I know that you can't come to see me every day."

"But I would if I could." Her voice was deep with sincerity.

"I know." I smiled at her again, and saw her face slowly start to reflect it. "But you don't need to feel obligated. You don't need to worry about me." I reached out and took her hand. Even though it was cold, it was so smooth and soft. I missed physical contact with another person, and it just felt nice to touch someone. She didn't seem to mind it at all. "It's really nice to see you though."

"You too Isabelle." She hopped up onto her feet. "How about a shower to help get the day started?"

"That sounds amazing."

After I was all clean, and dressed in some new clothes, Alice sat with me while I ate some breakfast. I ate a whole banana and a strawberry yogurt, leaving myself feeling very accomplished.

Carlisle came in to check on me, and I was happy to see him too. He asked how I was feeling and how the medication was working. I told him that I had slept through the night, and besides the tremors and the migraines when waking up that I felt pretty good.

"I'm sorry again that I wasn't here yesterday. Did Doctor Mitchell let you know that I was ill?"

I gave him a small smile, "They're not supposed to disclose personal information about Doctor's to the patients."

I had said it lightly, in a joking tone, but I saw anger flash across his face. I had never seen it before on him, and it didn't look right on his face. "Carlisle, it's okay, really-"

"Isabelle, I am your personal attending physician. If there's ever a problem like that again, you tell them that, or you call me on this number." He took out a notepad and pen from his front pocket, and quickly jotted a number down in beautiful writing. "That's my personal cell phone. I always answer, no matter what time."

My voice was a little thick. "Thank you, Carlisle."

He gave me a gentle pat on the shoulder, then left me alone with Alice. She braided my hair back for me, much better than I would have ever been able to do even with both of my hands. I felt… good. We smiled and talked, and I didn't let myself feel too guilty about enjoying it.

Dinner came, and I made sure not to let my disappointment show. Before the nurse even sat down the tray, William walked into my room. It was the first time I had ever seen him not wearing his white lab coat, instead wearing a pair of artfully faded dark blue jeans, and a khaki sweater over a white dress shirt.

I had just noticed his clothes in the background though, most of my concentration was pointed at the plate wrapped in tinfoil that he was carrying in one hand.

"Hey," he said easily, smiling.

"Hey William," I said, offering him a friendly smile back. It was bothering me that the motion still felt so wrong on my face, but I kept trying for them anyways.

"I tried to come say hi before my shift yesterday, but you were already asleep before I got here," he said apologetically. He removed the tray from my table, replacing it with the one he was holding and taking off the tinfoil. I had to stop myself from drooling. Fried chicken with a beautiful salad that had strawberries and pecans mixed into it. It smelt delicious. "Esme sends her love," he said as an explanation.

"Please tell her that I am eternally grateful," I said fervently, and dug in. It tasted even better than it smelt.

Unfortunately, I ate a little too much, and Alice handed me the bucket seconds before I threw it up. It was incredibly painful, jerking at my ribs and stomach with each heave. I was shaking and sweating from the stress of it, not being able to completely contain a couple of tears from escaping my eyes. Carlisle had come in, and it was completely humiliating doing that in front of the three of them.

Once I was pretty sure that it had passed, or I had nothing left to throw up, Alice laid me back gently while I gasped for breath.

"Are you okay Isabelle? Do your ribs hurt?" Carlisle asked.

I gave a short, painful laugh, clutching at my stomach. It was all the confirmation he needed. "Do you mind if I check your stitches?"

He had seen the ugly scar across my stomach plenty of times, he was the one who had saved me from dying from it and Alice had helped me bathe multiple times, but that didn't change the fact that I was very self-conscious about it. Nothing small like the old scar I had on my ribs, this was an angry, puckered wound that stretched across my abdomen. I was surprised when Carlisle said that I might still be able to have children. Not that it mattered, I wouldn't want to have anyone's child except for Jacob's, and the thought of losing another child was… unthinkable.

But William had never seen it, and I didn't want him to. I didn't care if he was a doctor, I didn't want anyone besides these two people to ever see it. I shot an uncomfortable glance at him, immediately feeling guilty.

"Oh, uhm, sorry. I'll be right back." He left the room, and the others didn't think anything of it.

There were no pulled stitches, and to my relief he told me that they were healing very well. As long as I didn't fall down again I shouldn't have to worry about any tearing. "Do you still feel nauseous?" He asked me.

"No, I think I just ate too much too quickly." He eyed my half-eaten plate of food, and I panicked. "Please don't tell Esme! It wasn't the food, it was really good. She's a million times better than any of the cooks here, and I don't want to hurt her feelings."

He gave me his usual gentle smile. "Don't worry, I won't tell her. Do you think you'll be able to try eating again in a little while? I really don't want to give you your medication on an empty stomach."

I reached for my fork happily, but he stopped me while chuckling. "Just wait a little while longer. I don't want you to get sick again."

William came back, and I shot him an apologetic glance. He seemed completely at ease though, so I relaxed and let it go. I ate a little while later, making sure to do so much more slowly. We waited another half hour afterwards, and Carlisle deemed it safe to give me my pills. They were getting a little easier to swallow each time.

Alice got ready to leave, and sadly told me that she wouldn't be able to come by tomorrow either. Their family would be going 'out of town' together, and I predicted that that was code for "Staying away from the sun light." I would find out tomorrow, I guess. I assured her that I would be fine, and she gave me a gentle hug before leaving. She was getting a lift home with Carlisle, who wished me a good night at the same time before the two of them left together.

So, William and I were left sitting alone. For some reason, it felt much different while he wasn't wearing his uniform. "Do you mind if I hang around for a little while longer? I don't start for another hour."

"I don't mind," I said politely. I think I could stay awake for another hour. "So, do you live with your sister's family?"

"No, I have my own place in town. I'm over there a lot though. I like to stay close by, they're all the family I've got."

I nodded. "No, I get it. Family is something you should cherish. Never let them go." He gave me a sad look, and I tried not to get irritated. I should have just kept my mouth shut. "How has Esme been? I haven't seen her for a while."

"She's well, she wants to come see you again soon. She's been keeping busy replacing the floors in her house for the past week. When she gets into a renovation project, it's frightening to get in her way." He smiled, thinking about something. "So, do you play any sports?" He asked, completely out of nowhere.

I chuckled. "Not if I can avoid it. I tend not to be the most… dexterous person when it comes to athletics. I like camping though, and hiking and fishing. I love swimming." I hadn't done any of them until the past year, but I loved them because they were Jacob. I wanted to be in the forest, or on the beach by the ocean. That was just who I was now.

"Favourite camping area?"

"Mount Rainer," I answered automatically.

He gave me a worried look. "There are a lot of bears in that area."

I smiled and shrugged. I never had to worry about bears while I was protected by a horse-sized wolf.

He seemed to find my choice in outdoor hobbies interesting, and drilled me with detailed questions until I could barely keep my eyes open. I didn't really mind, it was nice keeping my mind busy. Being able to think about happy memories of Jacob without getting pulled too deeply into them to hurt too much. I just barely managed to stay awake until he had to start working, and wished me goodnight. I was out as soon as he shut my door.

* * *

I woke up with the faintest headache, pleased that they seemed to be getting better. A nurse brought me in a tray of food, and I finished a yogurt and my muffin fairly easily. Afterwards, I carefully maneuvered myself into my wheel chair, and pulled myself slowly to the washroom. It was still painful getting myself on and off of the seat of the toilet, but I liked to imagine that it was getting better. I washed my hands, brushed my teeth and washed my face and had to sit back down to brush my hair because my leg had started to tremble. When I was finished, I just sat there for a moment, watching my reflection.

The black circles that had been under my eyes were gone now, and I had started to get back a bit of colour. My face was still thinner than I remembered it being, but I looked better. I couldn't see the aching pain that I constantly felt in my heart on my face.

I looked more like myself.

I had no desire to get back into that bed, so I rolled over to my window and parked myself there, resting my leg cast on the window sill.

I thought a lot about my friends that morning. It had been months since I had talked to any of them, and I missed them all terribly. I wondered what their lives were like now. Was Angela enjoying University? How was Sam handling his position as Alpha again? And Leah… the last words I remember ever hearing from Leah was when she told me that Jacob had died, saving her.

I hadn't said a word to her since then. But I hadn't really spoken to anyone except for Emily and Sam, and saying good bye to Billy. Did she think that I blamed her? I didn't of course, that was just who Jacob was. He was a protector; he would have done that for any of his loved ones. I had no way to ask her though. I loved them all too much to go back there; I just couldn't risk them getting hurt because of my curse.

I knew the Cullens knew the pack. I trusted my gut too much to not listen to the voice that told me that it wasn't safe to contact them.

But I could write to Angela.

I had paper and envelopes in my suitcase, but I couldn't reach them. Begrudgingly, I rang for a nurse and asked for help. Then I sat back in my sunny spot by the window.

_Dear Angela,  
I'm sorry that we haven't spoken in so long. After Charlie and… His death, I had to hide so that I wouldn't be brought back to the boarding home. I was pregnant. Once I turned eighteen, I had to leave. Forks was just too much for me.  
I was in a car accident a few months ago, someone swerved in front of my truck and ran me off of the road. My injuries were bad, and I lost my baby. I'm in a hospital now, still recovering, but I'm going to be okay.  
I want you to know that you are one of the best friends I have ever had, and I don't say that lightly. I can't come back though, there are just too many painful memories, and I need to find some way to live through this.  
So this is goodbye. I'm so sorry, you deserve much more than this small letter. I will always remember you, and I know that your life is going to take you to great places. Remember that you deserve every bit and more of the opportunities and happiness that I'm sure will come your way. Thank you for being my friend.  
Take care, and be happy.  
Love,  
Isabelle_

I stared at the letter for a long time. There was so much more that I wanted to say, but there were no words.

I had one more idea though, and I _needed_ to take the risk. I flipped over the paper.

_Please tell Emily. I can't contact her myself or say why. Please ask her to tell my sister that it wasn't her fault. Let them know that I love them all, and always will. Please tell them that I'm sorry._

I folded up the piece of paper, and slid it into an envelope which I wrote Angela's address on. No return address.

I needed to do this quickly, I couldn't think about it. The longer I held onto this envelope, the more painful it got. I slipped on a flip flop, grabbed my purse, and slowly pulled myself out of my room with my good leg.

It was embarrassing, but if I tried to roll the wheel with my one arm I just went around in circles. I got a few strange looks, but I preferred it to asking some strange nurse to push me around. Most people just ignored me.

It was slow and exhausting but I made it to the small shop that I had passed by with William the other night. To my relief, there was a tiny post office in the corner. I was able to mail my letter, and even exchange some cash for Canadian money. I wouldn't have to use all quarters in the vending machines anymore. The money was pretty, much more colourful than American bills. I took my time in the store, trying to distract myself, and ended up buying a few things; a new watch despite my better judgement, a new lock for my suitcase, a book of crossword puzzles and a deck of cards.

The man working at the cash was very sweet. Noticing my one hand, he offered to set my watch for me. I thanked him with a smile, and then rolled myself away.

I passed by the front doors, and realized that the sky had clouded over. It was a little after six, and I realized a Doctor would be going to my room soon to give me my medication. Hmm, I wonder if I should have asked permission from somebody before I left? I hope they didn't think I ran away.

I laughed. I wasn't running anywhere. Before I left, I had the nurse lock my tin into my grey suitcase with my other important things, so I wasn't worried about anyone stealing my stuff. I couldn't have hurried if I tried anyways, the snail's pace I was going at now was already exhausting me.

I stopped at a vending machine by the elevator before going back up to my floor, having a very big craving for some fruit punch. I slipped in some change easily enough, pushed the buttons, and listened to the loud 'clunk' it made when it fell to the bottom. I reached down to get it and… Damn. Just a bit too far. I spun my chair to the side, and tried to lean towards it, and I barely brushed it with my fingers. Sighing, I tried to pull away and reposition my chair. I was not going to let this stupid machine beat me. You'd think that they'd make these things easier to reach for people in wheelchairs; we were in a hospital after all.

Someone stepped in between me and the machine though, blocking my path back. "You'd think they'd make these things easier to reach for people in wheelchairs, we're in a hospital after all," William said, repeating my thoughts as he handed me my juice.

"Thanks." _We'll settle this another time, vending machine_, I swore darkly in my mind.

"Going up?" He asked easily, and I nodded. He held the elevator door for me while I pulled myself inside, and I didn't hold the small smile he had on his face against him. "I'm going your way if you'd like a lift," he offered, and I took him up on it gratefully.

"What time do you usually start working at?" I asked curiously.

"Eight," he said, rolling me into my room. "I have some free time if you'd like to… hang out for a little while?"

"Sure."

"Okay, I'm just going to drop my bag off in my office, I'll be back soon."

I went and used the washroom again while he was gone, and he was back before I came out. I tossed my purse onto my bedside table next to the tray of cold food. Shakily, I got up and managed to get onto my bed all by myself. It had been a productive day, and I felt accomplished. I smiled at William for no real reason at all, and he gave me a strange, almost blank look. Was he sick again?

"Are you okay?"

He seemed to shake off a thought before smiling back at me. "Yes, I'm great. How was your day?"

"It was good." It was only a half lie. "I escaped and did a bit of shopping," I told him happily. "How was yours?"

"Boring. I slept mostly." I nodded, and started pulling my new deck of cards out of my purse, picking at my carrot sticks while I took them out and admired their pictures. They had different types of trees on them.

"Wanna play?" I asked him, noticing that he had been watching me closely.

"Sure, shall I shuffle?"

"Thanks." I handed him the deck, and took a bite of the dried out turkey.

"Crazy eights?"

"Sounds good." He shuffled and dealt, and waited patiently while I tried to sort my cards, laying them face down on the table since I couldn't hold them while I did so. It was a relaxing game, helping the time pass by easily. At least I thought it was relaxing, William seemed like a bit of a sore loser. He didn't make a big deal about it, but he seemed a little frustrated.

He grabbed my medication from the Doctor that came in, checking it quickly before he handed it over to me. We played one more game, and I let him win by just a little to put him in a better mood before he headed off to work. I fell asleep doing a crossword puzzle.

* * *

The next day Carlisle took me in for x-rays and a CT scan to check my breaks and see how the organs in my abdomen were healing. He told me that the results were good, the bones had set properly, but it would still be another month before I could get the casts off, and then there would be physio therapy.

I didn't know how I would survive another two months in here. But since I had no one to take care of me at home, or even had a home for that matter, I needed to stay here. Carlisle assured me that my insurance would cover everything without issue. I wasn't worried though, I had money. The sale of my father's estate was a pretty big settlement, same with his life insurance. Then I had the money that I wanted nothing to do with; Charlie's savings, his life insurance settlement, and the money from the sale of his house had probably already been deposited. I had no idea what I wanted to do with all of that money, or what I wanted to do with my life.

Alice seemed to want me to stay though. Maybe I'll look for a small house, get a job just for something to do… Find things to keep myself busy. As long as I kept myself busy, I wouldn't have to think too hard. And as long as I didn't think too hard, I think I would manage to survive.

The back inside cover of my crossword book was blank, so I used it to make lists. Everything that popped into my mind that I might be able to use as entertainment once I got out of here. Things like; _find a place to live. Find a job. Replace the fuel injectors in my truck. _Find_ new fuel injectors for my truck._ Jacob would be so proud of me if I was able to make that truck go faster. _Learn more about my truck._ _Learn more about engines. Take a fish off of a hook. Paint a wall. Learn how to fix a toilet. Make pasta from scratch. Take a First Aid course. Study astronomy. Go bungee-jumping._

Over the next few weeks, whenever I thought of something, I wrote it down on that piece of paper. I didn't know how many of them that I would actually be able to accomplish, but my goal was to be able to keep busy for the rest of my life.

I was visited by at least one of my local vampires every day. Mostly Alice and Carlisle, but William seemed to visit me every night for at least a little while before he went to work. Esme and Jasper came to visit me every few days as well. After a couple of weeks, I didn't need the pain medication to sleep anymore. I feared I would spill my secrets in my sleep though, and ended up buying a mouth guard. Not only did it prevent me from clenching my teeth in my sleep, but it would muffle and distort anything that I might attempt to say while wearing them. I thought it was a pretty impressive idea.

I ate a little more and more each day, until I was back to my usual appetite. I gained back a bit of weight, and my clothes almost fit me properly again.

I never got over the pain of my losses, but I was starting to almost get used to it. It was the best I could have hoped for.

* * *

"Merry Christmas Eve Isabelle," Carlisle said, walking into my room in the early morning. I had been sitting in my bed, watching the thick snowflakes fall and trying not to think about the holidays.

"You too," I said with a smile. I noticed that he had a large smile on his face, and was watching me expectantly. "What?" I asked nervously.

"Today's the day," he said happily. My joy was instant, my face spreading into an enormous grin. Alice walked in, pushing a stainless steel cart into the room. I had seen those tools before, and a saw had never looked so inviting. I had never seen one used to cut through anything but plaster in person before, and made a note to add it to my list; _rent a saw and use it to cut something. _

"Right now?" I asked excitedly.

"Consider this and early Christmas present. I'm here just for you today." He lent me a hand to help me stand up, and I gave him a tight, one-armed hug. "Thank you Carlisle. I'll give you a hug with two hands once you're done."

"You will do no such thing. You're going to have to wear braces, and you'll be under very strict rules. You're bones are still very fragile, and your muscles are going to be very weak from not using them for almost three months." God, has it been that long already? His tone was stern, yet very gentle. I didn't care. I would be able to shower without having Alice tape bags to me. I had able to do the rest by myself for a while now, once I got a bit more strength and flexibility. Carlisle said I might always have a pain there in my stomach, there had been so much damage to the muscles, but all of my organs were mostly fine. Like he had said before, even with the damage there was still a possibility that I could have children. I knew that just wasn't in my future though. I didn't mind the pain really, it was the only reminder I had about the possibility I had lost.

"Will I be able to bend my leg?"

He thought about it for a moment. "We'll see, one thing at a time." _At least that wasn't a no._ Alice had put a plastic sheet on my bed so that we wouldn't get plaster dust all over it, after quickly folding my quilt and putting it away first. I sat back down, and watched excitedly as he cut through the plaster down the length of my arm. I wrinkled my nose, it did not smell very good, but Carlisle and Alice were too polite to say anything about it. After he cracked open the cast, he gently laid my arm down by my side on the bed. The bed was bent up fairly straight, and it felt really weird as my arm hung limply by my side. I hated that feeling.

Next he did my leg. Luckily I was wearing shorts, so I just had to hike up the short pant leg above the plaster that was so close to my hip. He cut two lines through the cast on the length of my leg. It was pretty gross, and I couldn't wait to get in the shower. First he did a few tests though, and by a few, I mean a very large amount. He poked me with a cold pen all over each of them, testing how much feeling I had. He had me wiggle my toes and my fingers, move my wrist and ankle. He had me squeeze both of his stone hands with each of mine, then try pushing both legs against each hand in both directions. He helped me slowly and slightly bend both my elbow and my knee. It went on and on for what felt like hours, and was completely exhausting. I was determined to work as hard as I possibly could though so I could get out of this room. I would take whatever he had to throw at me. _Pain was only weakness leaving the body_, I told myself over and over.

"Everything seems very good Isabelle. I'm going to have you on a set of very light exercises that we'll be able to do right here in your room for the next couple of weeks, which will be very similar to what we just did here. Then we'll move up from there. The braces are just to prevent any unnecessary jostling, so you should only have to wear them while you're moving about, and while you're sleeping." He gave me another pleased smile.

"So can I… take a shower?"

"You sure can. Just be very careful not to bump anything or move too quickly. And try not to stand for longer than a minute or so. Don't put any weight on your left leg, and don't try to hold anything with your left arm."

I nodded happily, and he helped me get into my wheelchair before Alice wheeled me over to the bathroom and helped me grab all of my things. I took my time lining them up onto the wide edge of the tub, then expertly shifted myself over onto the bench in the shower.

It was amazing, being completely clean. I even got to shave my gross leg. I noticed that it looked slightly thinner than my right, and it really bothered me. But I could wear pants now, and just put my brace on over top of it. Pants were always the worst part. Bending over to get my feet into the legs always pulled painfully at the scar across my stomach.

But I got on a pair of nice jeans, and a long sleeved black cotton shirt. I brushed my teeth, and combed my wet hair, twisting it into a rope with my right hand, and clipped a hair clamp into it.

I looked down at my ring on the counter, sitting on the little dish I always put it in when I showered. Smiling sadly, I slipped it onto my left-hand finger, happy that it was finally back in its proper place before I rolled myself out of the bathroom.

Carlisle was waiting with the braces, and I noticed that Alice had made my bed for me. After carefully helping me back onto it, he attached the braces, explaining to me in detail how it was supposed to be done. He asked me to try to keep them on for the rest of the day.

"Feel like going for a stroll around the building?" Alice asked me happily, and I nodded.

"Well, I'm going to head home. I'll see you tomorrow Isabelle. You girls have a nice afternoon."

"Why are you working tomorrow?" I asked him. It was Christmas.

"Well, I just thought-" I saw Alice shake her head slightly. It wasn't the first time I had seen her do this with him around me. It's like she knew what my reaction would be before he even said anything to me. It reminded me of my question over a month ago; did all vampires have some sort of extra superpower? I know that they all couldn't affect moods like Jasper could, because he was the only one who had ever tried.

I had spent a lot of free time thinking about it, and watching the vampires closely. If they did, I knew what Esme's power was; love. Just simply being in her presence made you feel loved, and she seemed to have an endless supply of the emotion to give out. Carlisle's I think was compassion. He cared so passionately about helping and healing others. I had rolled down hallways with him many times, and it was obvious in his interaction with others.

Alice was tricky though, but I think I was catching on. She always seemed to know which days I would be the most upset, and what would work to cheer me up. All the times I had gotten sick, she was there waiting with a bucket seconds before I let it show on my face. Whenever I lost my balance, she was always able to catch me. She somehow knew what I wanted to eat the most on what days whenever I had a craving. And a few times she had passed me my purse before I had even asked. It was like she was… clairvoyant almost. I was trying to figure out how to test my theory without being obvious about it.

"They still need people to come in and work, hospitals don't close for holidays. I'll be in for a few hours in the afternoon."

"And I'll come visit with him," she said happily.

If she was clairvoyant, she should have seen my reply before she even said that. "Alice, you should spend the holiday with your family."

"But I-"

"No. Thank you Alice, you know that I love having you here, but not tomorrow. You need to be with your family." I felt so bad for putting that hurt look on her face. I decided that I needed to be completely honest with her for her to understand. "It's not that I don't want you here, because I do. But if my family were still alive, I would be spending it with them. It might just be some meaningless holiday that happens every year, but it's one of those moments that you should cherish." No matter how long you may live. "I can't be with my family, but you can be with yours. Don't take that for granted. Please."

They both stared at me wide-eyed for a long moment, and I knew why. This was the first time I had really spoken about my family being dead. They knew of course, but they never tried to make me talk about it. I kept my face calm and my voice even and gentle though, and prayed that they couldn't see just how much it hurt to say out loud. My family was dead, and I would never see my pack again. I was completely alone in this world now, except for these strangely kind vampires and my memories.

"Okay I'll stay with my family," she told me gently. She looked worried, and I forced myself to smile up at her.

Carlisle said goodbye again, and left the two of us alone.

Alice held to her offer and took me for a ride around the building. She stopped at the cafeteria that I hadn't yet mentioned wanting to go to, even though I had decided that I was going to ask her after we were done touring. Maybe I had to actually make a decision before she could see it, if she would know at all.

"Want to grab something to eat?"

"Sure," I said with a small smile. She wheeled me into line, and I stared at my four choices. I decided quickly that I wanted the Caesar salad with chicken, but I pretended that I was having trouble deciding. I waited.

"How about some salad?"

I hid my smile. "That sounds perfect." I paid for my meal, and we went over to the sitting area.

"Where do you want to sit?"

By that big window that looks onto the garden. "I'm not sure."

"Hmm. How about by that big window over there?"

"Okay." I think I just found a new source of entertainment.

Alice sat with me while I ate. Was it weird that I never pointed out how weird it was that she never ate around me? The hospital had a very strict no-pet policy though. I made myself laugh, and quickly tried to cover it.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head before taking another bite of my salad.

She had to head home after bringing me back up to my room, giving me a hug before leaving. Even though I wouldn't see her tomorrow, I wanted to give her something for Christmas. I didn't really care if it couldn't be a surprise. I had been watching the gift shop for quite a while, but nothing really spoke to me strongly enough.

If it wasn't for Alice, I would have given up a long time ago. She saved me, and not just by being the one who got me to the hospital quickly enough so that I didn't bleed out. She's sat with me in this tiny room almost every day for the last three months, keeping me company, cheering me up whenever I needed it, helping me with all of the things I couldn't do. But it was more than that. She gave me friendship, and made me feel like I wasn't completely alone in this world. I wanted to give her something to show her how much that really meant to me, and an ordinary knickknack from the gift shop just wouldn't do.

I got out of my bed, and rolled over to my suitcase, opening up the new lock with the keys I always kept on me. I flipped back the lid, and rifled through my things. I picked up my copy of "A Mid-Summer Night's Dream", carrying it in my lap with a pen as I rolled over to my table. I flipped open the cover.

_To Alice,  
This is the first book I've even owned. My mother bought it for me when I was seven, because I loved the art on the cover, and it's always been one of my most prized possessions. I've lost track of how many times I've read it. Whenever I was too upset or hurt to be in my own mind, I would flip through the familiar pages and be able to escape for just a short while. It's helped me through more bad times than I'd care to admit. Just like you have, which is why I want you to have it.  
You've done more than saved my life Alice, you've made it easier to live in the life that I have. I'll never be able to thank you enough for that, and there aren't words to describe just how thankful I am.  
Merry Christmas  
Love,  
Isabelle_

I wrapped it up in a newspaper that I had on my table, and tied it up with a loose ribbon that I had in my things, I think it may have come out of a shirt or something. I put away my stuff, and picked up my notebook.

I had gotten it a few weeks ago, as I had quickly run out of room in my crosswords book. Now it had pages and pages of different things that I wanted to try and do during the rest of my life. I opened up to the first free page, and wrote down my note about renting a saw.

* * *

I woke up very early in the morning, my watch telling me that it was just a little after two.

Christmas.

One year ago today I had sat in Charlie's house with him, and he had given me this necklace. The one I wore as a bracelet around my wrist. He had told me that he wanted to adopt me. I had sat and cooked dinner with him, Billy and Jacob.

I hoped Rebecca was taking good care of Billy. I hoped they were okay. Were they smiling now? Going on with their lives and being happy? I hope they were. They had each other.

I couldn't get back to sleep, so I got out of bed and went into my bathroom. I was very careful taking off my braces, and took a very long time under the hot water. I toweled off, and pulled out a nice pair of grey jeans and my black fight club t-shirt that was a little baggy. I brushed my teeth, then combed my hair. I decided to just let it do its thing and dry curly. It was hard doing the braces back up, but I got it eventually.

I rolled back into my room, and slipped on my watch. Only four, today was going to be a long day. I rolled over to my window, resting my legs on the sill as usual, and admired the beautiful landscape outside.

It was snowing again, large fluffy pieces of it slowly falling to the ground. Everything was covered in a fresh sheet of it, looking completely untouched. Everything was so still, so quiet, and it looked magical. Something out of a fairy tale or painting. I opened up my notebook.

_Build a snowman. Learn how to ski. Make a snow angel._

My stomach growled. It would be a few hours to breakfast, so I decided to make a trip to the vending machine. I put on a shoe and then pulled myself out of the room.

The hallway was eerily quiet again, but that was normal for this time. The nurse sitting at the nurse's station gave me a small wave, which I returned before continuing down the hallway.

"Isabelle?"

I stopped, and backed up a bit. "Hey William," I hadn't even noticed that I had passed by his office. He had a thick textbook open in front of him, and he placed a post-it to the page before closing it and coming over.

"What has you prowling the halls this early?"

"Just bored, thought I'd hunt down a snack. What are you up to?"

"Boring stuff. I got this present from Carlisle about medieval healing practices, I was just giving it a quick read through."

"That sounds really interesting actually. Does it have much information about Herbalism?"

He raised an eyebrow slightly, nodding with a small smile. "Is that something that interests you?"

"Oh yes, very much. I've always preferred trying to use natural remedies opposed to manufactured drugs. My Mom was really into it, she ran a small business from home when I was a kid making special teas." He gave me a strange look. I got a lot of those from him. It was a little off-putting, like he thought everything that I said was weird. "Don't get me wrong, today's medicines definitely have their uses, but the human species has been around much longer than all if this technology has. But it's kind of nice, being able to help a sickness without the carbon footprint that is needed to make all of those drugs."

If he had a superpower, I had no idea what it was. Maybe it was making people uncomfortable with his gaze, because he did that often enough with me.

"Well, sorry to interrupt, I'll just get going now." I shouldn't have just started rambling like that, it wasn't like he cared about that stuff, he probably knew much more than I did about it too. I turned around and he caught my wheelchair.

"Wait, sorry, I guess I got kind of lost in thought. I agree with you, there is much that can be accomplished with just simple herbs with the human body, and it's a bit of a shame that society had become so dependent on the chemicals that we use today. You try and tell someone these days that their stomach aches could be cured by sipping some warm water with steeped mint leaves and they call you a witch." I laughed. "I wanted to take a break for a bit, want a lift to the vending machine?"

"Sure," I said happily. I didn't mind being pushed around too much if it was by someone I knew. Besides, he always seemed to smile when I let him. Weird vampires.

Absolutely nothing looked appetizing, so I just got a bottle of juice, and William took me back to my room. He got called then, and with a little wave, he left. I climbed into bed, and took out my deck of cards.

I was concentrating more on my necklace/ bracelet than the game of solitaire I had set up. One whole year. It didn't seem long enough to contain everything that had happened since then. I really wanted to wear it around my neck again. It didn't feel the same around my wrist. The memory of Charlie putting it on for me was strong in my mind. Maybe if I could get it on I would feel closer to him again…

I shook it off of my wrist onto my lap, and undid the clasp. I tried holding on to one end with my cheek against my shoulder while bringing the other end around with my hand. I could feel the clasp and thought that I was close, and got excited. _Almost there…_ and then the end I was holding slipped out of my fingers, and the little emerald pendant slid off, bounced against my leg, and tumbled towards the floor.

"No!" I shouted, a little too loudly and to no one in particular. I reached to grab it quickly, missing it by only inches, but I was reaching far enough to lose my balance, rolling off of the edge of my bed.

I couldn't help a small cry when I collided painfully with the floor, but I ignored the pain and reached my hand towards the little pendant that was once again just out of my reach. I just snapped then, my tears of pain and anger and sadness becoming too much to contain in my frustration. The fact that I was breaking my one rule just made them come that much faster.

It couldn't have been much more than a minute before William ran back into my room. I didn't look up at him, but I heard the door open and I felt him there. He was kneeling by my side in a second, trying to help me up. I smacked him away, and painfully rolled myself over.

"Just go away," I begged between my tears. I couldn't sit up, but I didn't care. I just wanted to lay on my floor alone and cry.

"I can't do that Isabelle," he said quietly. He reached for me again, and I shot him the angriest look I had. His face was pained, and he only debated for a short moment before picking me up. He leaned over my bed to put me down, and I don't really understand what happened to me. I wrapped my arms around the vampire, gripping onto him as tightly as I could, and didn't let go. My body just needed the closeness of another person. I wanted Jacob to hold me in his strong, warm arms and tell me that everything would be okay. But he wasn't here, and when William's cold arms wrapped around me gently and held me, I took it happily. He sat down on the edge of my bed, and let me cry in his arms. There was nothing else in the world besides him and my pain. He held me until my eyes ran dry, and still didn't let go. I was very much aware that he had no heartbeat, with my face against his chest, but that didn't bother me as much as I thought it would.

When my mind finally started to clear, I pulled away from him immediately, completely horrified with what I had done. He didn't stop me, getting off of my bed and immediately picking up my pendant off of the floor. He sat back down beside me, picking up the chain, and sliding it back on.

Ever so gently, he brushed my hair away from my neck, and clasped the necklace for me. I rested my hand against it, revelling in the familiar feeling of it there. "Is that what you were trying to do? When you fell?"

I nodded.

"Who gave you the necklace?"

"C-Charlie." I tried to take a deep breath, but it didn't work. "My Dad. He gave it to me last Christmas, just before he told me that he wanted to adopt me." I needed to talk now; I needed to tell someone so badly. "I never thought I'd find a family, I never even dared to dream of it. Then he came along, and he was so sweet. He loved me like I was his real daughter. I loved him more than my actual father, he was the first real Dad I ever had, and I didn't even get a year with him. He's dead. He died trying to protect me, and now I'm alone, and I'm never going to see him again." A choking sob wracked my body. "Everyone that I love dies. My Mom, my father, my Dad, my fiancé, and my baby. They're all dead, and there's nothing I can do to bring any of them back."

He was the one to wrap his arms around me this time, and I didn't pull away. I wanted to be close to someone so desperately, and if he didn't mind it then I wasn't going to stop him. I relaxed in his stone arms and leaned against him.

He didn't lie to me and tell me that it was okay, or tell me that he was sorry for me to my relief. "You're not alone Isabelle. Not anymore. I'm here with you, right now."

I shook my head. "You're a doctor, it's different. This is probably in your job description."

"I may be a doctor, but I'm not _your_ doctor. That's Carlisle. I'm just a man who happens to be a Doctor, and also thinks that you're an amazing woman. We care about you, Alice and I, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper. We're your friends, and we _won't_ leave you."

I thought about his words for a few moments, and he was uncharacteristically patient.

"Thank you," I whispered back to him. I couldn't think of anything else to say. I cared about them, and I had no way to leave.

We sat in silence, and I watched the snowflakes while he held me, and tried to ignore the worry for their safety that was growing in my stomach.

**Thanks for Reading!**


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Town

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. Caution: ****May contain mature language and subject matter.**

**Chapter Thirteen :: Town**

I looked at my watch, and it was nine in the morning. William was sitting next to me on my bed, but he didn't fit as well as Alice did. He was half hanging off of the side of it, but looked completely comfortable.

"You don't have to stay here you know."

"I know," he said easily.

"You should go spend some time with your family."

He checked his own watch. "I will, soon."

I looked up at him, and he gave me an easy smile. He wasn't holding me anymore, once I had calmed down it had become quite uncomfortable to me, being so close to a man that was not my Jacob. Now he was just sitting next to me. I had let him turn on the TV, and he was watching the weather network. It was probably the one thing that I wouldn't have minded watching, but I preferred looking out the window. The trees were bare, but there was snow building up on them. It didn't seem like there was enough wind to blow the snow off of the branches right now. I reached over for my notebook beside my bed, and opened it up to the last page I had written on. I was almost halfway through the book. _Climb a tree_, I wrote down, then closed it again.

"Writing a story?"

"More like guidelines."

"For what?"

I shook my head. "You'd probably make fun of me if I told you."

"I doubt that very much. Can I look?"

I thought about it for a moment, and didn't seem any harm it in. I handed the notebook over, and watched his face while he flipped through the crammed pages. He looked confused. "What are all of these things?"

"A way to keep busy, to keep living I guess. Anything and everything that I can think of, I write it down in that book."

"So you plan on doing each and every one of these things?" He asked curiously.

"I don't know if I'll get through all of them, but that's kind of the point. If I have something to concentrate on, some sort of goal to work towards… It's the only thing I can think of doing to keep myself going."

"_Learn some sort of martial art?"_

"Yeah, I know nothing about any of them, but karate or jujitsu or something like that."

"_Bungee jumping?"_

"I bet it would be fun. Like cliff diving, except you'd come back up."

"I don't see cliff diving anywhere in here..."

"Because the front of the book is only for things I haven't done before. I go backwards from the end of the book with things I've already done before and would like to do again."

"You've been cliff diving before?"

"Yeah, it was great. Free falling for thirty feet and breaking through an ice cold sheet of water. Amazing." He stared at me in disbelief. "You should try it sometime, it's fun."

"I'll put it on my to-do list," he said with a smile, shaking his head.

There was a light knock on my door before it opened, and Carlisle came inside. "Good morning Isabelle, William. How are you feeling today?" I wondered how bad my face looked right now.

"I'm fine," I told him with a smile. William shot me a look.

"If you don't tell him, I will," he said seriously. I sighed.

"I kind of fell out of my bed this morning. I really am fine though, just a little sore."

He gave me a concerned look, but took me at my word, saying that he would be able to tell if there was anything wrong while he helped me with my exercises. I went to the washroom first, and washed my face with ice cold water. My face didn't look too bad, my cheeks were just really red, and my hair had dried surprisingly nicely. It was pretty smooth, the ends of it curling into soft ringlets. I saw Charlie's necklace on my neck, and I smiled sadly. I did feel closer to him wearing it, just like I had felt closer to Jake once my ring was back on my left finger. I rested my hand over the pendant and closed my eyes for a moment. I was filled with so much emotion, I had been so lucky to have met them, even if our time had been much too short. I had so many wonderful memories of them, and I would cherish them until the end of time. I was grateful to have known them both, and I wouldn't have traded those memories for anything in the world. I needed to do this more, just remember and be grateful that at least I had these memories. It made the pain just a little bit easier.

The exercises weren't much more painful than yesterday, and mostly consisted of slightly bending, lifting and pushing. Such small things, and it drove me crazy how hard it was. They once again left me exhausted.

As soon as he was done and I laid back against my upright bed, my door opened again.

"Alice? I thought you were going to spend the day with your family."

"I am," she said happily, and walked into my room followed my Esme, Jasper, and two more vampires that I had never met before.

Seven, just like Jacob had told me.

Seven, just like the pack. But now there were only six.

I wasn't mad at her though, I was always happy to see her. "Nice loop hole," I told her, the corner of my mouth twitching up. She ran over and gave me a hug. So did Esme.

"It's so nice to see you Isabelle," Esme said as she squeezed me gently. "I missed you, how have you been? How are you feeling? Oh, I baked you some cookies," she said happily, and I couldn't help smiling as she sped through her words. It was adorable.

"Thank you Esme, and I'm fine. It's so nice having those casts off," I told her happily. I looked over at the other three, who were still standing close to the door. "Hey Jasper." I tried to concentrate really hard on him, and on the feeling that it was nice to see him.

He smiled, and I felt that same emotion float back into my mind. "Hey Isabelle." William had the most curious expression on his face as he looked between the two of us, but I pretended not to see it.

"This is my sister Rosalie, and this is Emmett," she said, introducing me to the new vampires. Rosalie was absolutely gorgeous, the most beautiful woman I had even seen in my life. She was taller than me, with long, thick golden hair. Emmett reminded me a little bit of Jacob; he was a little shorter than him, and very pale like all of the vampires, but was huge and muscular with short black hair.

"Hey, it's nice to meet you," I said politely.

"You too," she said, offering me a dazzling smile. I resisted the urge to try and smooth out my hair. It wouldn't have helped in the slightest; there was no way to not look dull next to her.

"Alice told me that you fixed my truck for me. Thank you so much, I have no idea how to thank you," I said a little shyly.

"Don't even worry about it, I love working on cars. She's a very nice truck, you don't see too many of those around anymore."

"I know, it's too bad. Trucks these days have no personality. She could use a bit of work though, I've been meaning to replace the fuel injectors for a while, but they're not easy to find for that model."

She laughed, a beautiful musical sound. "You work on cars?"

I shrugged. "I'm no expert, but I enjoy it." She gave me another small smile while looking at me curiously. I looked back over to Emmett, and he was looking at me with the weirdest expression. "What?" I said, a little rudely maybe, but he didn't seem to mind.

His eyebrows shot up, like I had surprised him. "What?"

"You're looking at me weird," I told him suspiciously.

He smiled a little mischievously. "You surprised me is all, sorry. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too," I said suspiciously, and gave him a calculated look. His smile got bigger. If he thought he could intimidate me, he was dead wrong. I've seen much bigger men than him before.

The room was quiet for a moment. I should have been scared to be packed into a small room with seven vampires but… I wasn't. Would Jacob be mad if he knew how much I enjoyed their company? No, Jacob would never have been mad at me for anything, ever, he would just be worried about my safety. But even he couldn't completely hate the coven… They didn't take lives, they saved them. They were all watching me, everyone waiting for someone else to talk, standing a little too still, a little too comfortably. I reached over to my purse beside my bed, and pulled out my deck of cards.

"Anyone want to play a game of poker?"

My words seemed to ease the tension in the room thankfully. Alice came and sat in her usual spot beside me on my bed, and Carlisle went and scavenged a few extra chairs. Everyone circled around my bed, and I handed the deck to William habitually so that he could start dealing.

It was a nice afternoon.

The Cullens kept my thoroughly distracted as we delved into a long poker tournament. I was in with Rosalie, Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper while William played the house dealer and Alice sat tucked beside me on the small bed playing with my hair. I'm not sure what she was doing to it, but it felt nice. Esme refereed most of the time; not in the game really, just trying to make her 'adopted children' behave. I found their bickering really comforting though, it reminded me of home.

I seemed to surprise Jasper and Emmett by how good I was, but I had spent so many Sunday and summer evenings playing with my pack. "You hustled me," Emmett said, throwing down his pair of queens in frustration. I slid the pile of cotton balls that we were using as currency towards myself.

"I never said I was bad at the game, it's your own fault for assuming." I told him with a smirk. He laughed.

"You never said you were a pro either," he said darkly.

I shrugged. "If you'd rather play something easier like go fish or something I don't mind," I said teasingly, and Rosalie and Jasper laughed loudly. He smiled, and his booming laugh filling the room.

The sun had gone down, and I was surprised to see how awake and alert all of them seemed while my eyelids started to feel heavy. Well, they didn't need to eat food or breathe, maybe they didn't sleep either? William left at eight to start his shift, but the rest of them stayed until almost ten before wishing me a good night. I can't believe that they wasted their entire holiday keeping me company, but I was grateful. It would have been a long day, stuck in my own mind with my memories.

"Hey Alice," I said as she was walking out the door, the last to leave. She spun around and gave me a smile. I'm sure she already knew what I was going to do, but I played it cool. I picked up the wrapped book beside me and tossed it over to her. She caught it easily.

"What's this?"

"A Christmas present. It's not much but… I want you to have it."

She carefully opened the wrappings, and regarded the book for a moment before opening it to the first page. She looked genuinely surprised, but it could have been an act for all I knew. I watched her expression carefully, and saw the emotions in her eyes. It looked like she wanted to cry, but her eyes didn't water. Maybe vampires weren't able to cry.

She dashed over to my bed a little too quickly, and pulled me into a tight hug. "Thank you Isabelle, I promise that I'll take good care of it." I patted her on the back awkwardly until she let me go. "I wasn't sure if you were into the whole gift giving thing, but now I feel fine giving you this," she said with a brilliant smile, pulling a small white box with red ribbons out of her purse.

I swallowed my uncomfortable response, and carefully untied the ribbon with my good hand before lifting the lid off of the box. Folded neatly inside was a soft, knitted scarf with different hues of violet and hints of dark green. It was beautiful. "I made it myself," she said with an excited smile.

I leaned forward to hug her this time. "Thank you Alice, I love it."

"Good! I better see you wearing it then," she told me happily. She wished me a good night again, and almost danced out of my room.

Finally alone, I slid into my wheelchair and went over to my closet, opening up my grey suitcase and taking out my photo album.

"Merry Christmas Mom, I'm sorry I took so long," I said to my favourite picture of her. The pain of missing Jacob and Charlie seemed to dull the pain of missing her this year, and I kissed the picture before putting it away again, taking out my other photo album. It was mostly empty now, but I easily found the picture of Charlie and I last Christmas, our faces smooshed together as I took the first picture with my new camera. I could only look at it for a minute before I had to close the book. "Merry Christmas Dad," I said softly, putting the book away and closing my suitcase. The pain in my chest made it hard to breathe. I rolled back to my bed, and pulled my tin out from under my pillow. I couldn't open it today though, I wouldn't let myself cry.

"I love you baby. I wish you were here with me. I wish I had made last Christmas count more. I'm so sorry," I whispered, my voice catching on almost every word. I rolled onto my good side, clutching at my memories of him.

"_I want to build a cake out of steak and use these potatoes to frost it like icing_," my mind whispered to me. I felt asleep with the smallest smile playing on my mouth at the memory.

* * *

Carlisle came in every single day to help me with my exercises. I was relieved by this town's seemingly constant cover of clouds. It must be why they had chosen to live here. We would work for an hour and a half twice every day, but I had plenty of alone time to work in secret. It had been almost two weeks before I was able to make a fist with my left hand. After that, while I was alone I would practice by holding different things from my suitcase. I started with light things; a pair of rolled up socks, my brush, a book, my blow-dryer then a bottle of shampoo. By the end of January, I was able to hold a two-pound weight at shoulder level for over a minute and could braid my own hair or put it in a ponytail. I was able to lift my leg a little more each day, and was getting close to being able to support my weight on it. I ignored the pain with determination. _Pain is just weakness leaving the body_, I quoted to myself repeatedly.

Saint Mary's Hospital had become a sort of home to me over the past five months. My insurance apparently covered my private room for the duration of my rehabilitation. They were pretty good accommodations. Even with all of my belongings here I didn't need much space, so I really didn't mind my small room. I felt lucky to have my own bathroom.

Today I was going to get to see some of the town that I had been staying in for so long for the first time. Carlisle had given me permission to go out for a few hours as long as I used a wheelchair, and Alice practically begged me to let her show me around.

The Cullens had become such a big part of my life. Carlisle had not only saved me twice in the surgery room, but had taken a dedicated interest into my rehabilitation. Both him and Esme treated me more like one of their adopted children than a patient. Alice was the biggest part though. Her constant company and dedication to trying to make my days just a little bit brighter is what really kept me going. Despite her… condition, I was totally at ease around her. She was able to make me smile, to help me escape my own dark cloud of pain, even if it was only for short moments. She was my friend, a best friend by any definition. She made me want to stay, against my better judgement.

After my shower I got dressed carefully in a nice pair of jeans and a dark-brown blouse. Despite gaining back some weight since I started eating, my clothes still felt too lose on me. I didn't want these clothes anymore, every time I put on a shirt, I remembered each time I had worn it around Jacob. I hated that my clothes made me sad, and even though I didn't want any of them anymore I knew I would never been able to throw them out. I put my hair into a neat ponytail before clasping my necklace, and wrapping my beautiful knitted scarf around my neck. I knew that I wouldn't be walking, so I felt safe to put on my nice pair of black heels. I was happy that I didn't need to wear those bulky braces anymore because there was no way that my jacket would have fit over top of it. Alice blew into my room just as I was slipping my arms through the sleeves of my jacket, a giant, excited smile taking over her face.

"Good! You're all ready. It's pretty cold outside, are you going to be okay in that thin jacket?" She asked curiously. I ignored the fact that she wasn't even wearing a jacket.

"I'll be fine, I like the cold," I told her honestly. I loved every temperature really; I loved the chill of the cold winter air, the feeling of the sun making my skin tingle while laying out in the summer, the cool dampness of rain. Each of them only made me appreciate the others even more. I saw a small smile playing on her mouth. She was as cold as snow, she should have known I wouldn't mind the cool air when I was completely comfortable with her touch. She grabbed my purse for me off of my bedside table, tossing it into my lap before wheeling me quickly out of the room. Carlisle was standing just outside of the door though, a concerned expression on his face.

"Just a couple of hours girls. Isabelle, if you start feeling too sore or tired, make sure to get Alice to take you back right away."

I was always sore, today wouldn't be any different. "I feel great Carlisle, I'll be fine. You worry too much," I told him with a smile. He smiled too, and patted me gently on the shoulder before Alice zoomed us down the hall to the elevators.

The sharp air felt refreshing on my skin, and I had closed my eyes for a moment to enjoy the feeling before Alice stopped. I opened my eyes to a gorgeous canary yellow Porsche. I felt my jaw drop slightly. Jacob would have passed out at the opportunity to drive this.

Alice laughed. "I take it that you like her?" I nodded silently. "She's my baby, a Christmas present from William."

"He bought you a _Porsche_ for Christmas?" I asked disbelievingly, and she nodded happily. I guess it's not hard to save up money when you never die. She opened up the door, and went to help me out of my chair.

"No, I got it," I told her, and wheeled myself a bit closer to the door. Her hand hovered closely to me as I pushed myself out of the chair, then held onto the door as I carefully lowered myself into the black leather seats. She folded up my chair and easily tucked it into the trunk. The interior was just as beautiful and sleek as the outside. Alice slid in quickly, and turned up the heat as soon as she started the car. The quiet rev of the engine put an excited smile on my face, which only grew bigger as she peeled down the street.

The town was adorable, bigger than Forks but still very small. After crossing a wide river on a beautiful arched steel bridge, we drove down the main street, "King George's Highway", that most of the town's businesses seemed to be situated on. It seemed like more of a road that a highway, lots of traffic lights and a really low speed limit, but it would be an easy enough name to remember. It ran parallel to the wide river.

The houses in the area had so much character, small little things painted in different bright colors. I had been keeping an eye on the real estate pages in the local newspapers, and the prices were very affordable. "Can we go to a bank first? I have some things that I need to check out," I asked her. She agreed happily, turning around and taking us back to the main part of town. I was thankful that they had my branch here. Once we parked, Alice brought up my chair and lent me a steady hand to slide into it before bringing me inside. I was happy to have her; I knew for certain that I would have gotten stuck in the deep snow and slush.

I was blown away when I saw my bank balance. There was more money in there then I knew what to do with, and it made me sad instead of happy. I didn't see the zeroes, to me it read; Charlie's house, Charlie's savings, The Newton's store, my parent's house outside of Seattle, My mom's and my father's life insurance and savings… and that was in American money, if I had it exchanged the number would just go up. The air caught in my throat as I tried to take a steadying breath, and my vampire best friend heard it of course.

"Is everything okay Isabelle? If you need any financial help…"

"No Alice, I don't need any money. I have more money that I can picture myself spending, that's the problem." She seemed to understand, and gave me a gentle hug. I withdrew a few hundred dollars guiltily, determined to try and turn it into something positive. I tried to look on the bright side, when I got out of the hospital I could buy a small house instead of renting an apartment.

Alice looked at the pile of bills in my hand curiously. "So, any good places to go shopping around here?"

She squealed in delight, catching the attention of everyone in the store. With Alice's captivating beauty, and me in my wheelchair, we drew a lot of attention.

Alice must have taken me to every store in the city. Out of habit I bought the biggest suitcase I could find, it just felt wrong to own anything that I couldn't fit into my bags. Alice had a worried expression on her face.

"Why are you getting a suitcase? Are you leaving?" She asked in a panicked tone.

She had told me months ago that she hoped that I would stay, and I had realized that I had actually planned on doing so. Because I didn't want to leave her. Alice could have just been being polite though. She sounded like she wanted me to, but it was wrong for me to assume.

I looked at her seriously. "Alice, do you want me to stay? Honestly?"

She looked at me in shock. "Isabelle, you're my best friend. You're like a sister to me and I love you. Of course I want you to stay. Will you? Can you?"

I evaluated her expression and tone for a few minutes, looking for any hint of insincerity, but found none. "Yeah, I'll stay." She crushed me with another hug, a much tighter one that made my healing ribs hurt, but I didn't want to pull away.

"So you don't need the suitcase then," she said happily, and went to put it back. I held on tightly though, rolling along as she pulled it.

"Yes I do, I intend to fill it with clothes," I told her knowingly. "I don't want to wear my old clothes anymore, but I don't want to get rid of them either. This is just for easy storage."

She debated for a second, and then nodded. "Okay, as long as you're not planning on running away from me," she said with a smile.

She was completely up to the task of helping me fill it. We carried it around to every store we went to, putting my purchases inside instead of getting everything in plastic bags. I was happy to be saving on waste, because the plastic bags would have been thrown out immediately anyways. Alice pointed out that I would need new shoes to go with new outfits, and by the time the suitcase was full, it was almost five at night.

"I should probably get you back, my Dad's going to kill me for having you out so late," Alice said sadly.

I really didn't want to go back, despite how tired I was. I gave her my best pout. "Could we at least stop for something to eat before we go back?" I pleaded, and just on cue my stomach growled hungrily.

I saw her cave and smiled. "Of course, what do you want to get?"

"Something greasy and salty and completely unhealthy," I told her happily. We stopped at a fast food place, where I got a cheese burger with bacon and extra pickles, some fries and a chocolate milkshake. I wasn't able to finish half of it, but it tasted amazing. Alice's phone buzzed as we got into the beautiful car, and she answered it quickly.

"I know Dad, we're on our way back now. We stopped for dinner, I couldn't turn her down and make her eat that horrible hospital food," she said, putting the perfect amount of guilt into her voice. It seemed to work, because she smiled quickly. "Okay, we'll see you soon. Love you!" She flipped the phone shut.

"You're not in trouble are you?" I asked guiltily.

"No, but I don't think my Dad will let me take you out again for a while," she told me sadly. I hated hearing her voice take that tone, and I reached out to take her hand.

"Hey, I should be discharged soon, then we can go on a shopping trip and do some real damage," I told her knowingly. I wasn't that into shopping really, even though I had liked the distraction and needed the clothes, but I would gladly do it again to make her happy. She seemed thrilled by the offer, and drove back to the hospital with a wide smile.

* * *

Carlisle's hands hovered closely in case I fell as I gripped onto the bars and put my weight onto my left leg. "Come on Isabelle, you can do this, I know you can," he whispered encouragingly. I cringed as I put the weight on, but I didn't fall as I took that first step. I looked up to his face in astonishment, and he beamed back at me. I lunged forward and hugged him tightly.

* * *

"Carlisle says you're coming along really good in physio," William said as he waited for me to shuffle. It had kind of become our routine that he would come in and play cards with me for an hour before he started his shifts. Even on days that he didn't work he would come in. I remembered clearly the incident from Christmas morning, two long months ago,

"_I'm just a man who happens to be a Doctor, and also thinks that you're an amazing woman. We care about you, Alice and I, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper. We're your friends, and we won't leave you."_

So apparently he was my friend. He never brought up that moment again, or even hinted at it afterwards. He never tried to hug me or touch me again, and for that I was really thankful. I still couldn't fathom how I had let myself do that, completely break down and spill my secrets to this man, to have let him hold me and comfort me, but I had.

But not all of my secrets. I was still certain that they did not know of my past in Forks, of my knowledge of them, my pack, or of my Jacob. And I will never tell them. Even if I was Jacob's spirit wife, I still wasn't sure if that affected the treaty. I would not risk exposing my loved ones, and I couldn't bring myself to risk the chance of losing Alice either. They may not trust me with their secret, and I couldn't blame them.

So, I tried to stop questioning William's odd friendship with me, and was as polite as possible to him. I wasn't nearly as comfortable around him as I was with Carlisle or Alice, my Doctor and my best friend, but I didn't mind his short visits. Honestly he was entertaining to talk to. We had so many of the same interests like books and classical music, and he knew so much. I had no idea how old he really was, but it seemed like he had spent decades reading books. In my mind I referred to him as my own personal internet search engine, and loved learning new bits of information from him with the questions I would ask.

He had even more questions than I did though, and I couldn't understand what I had to offer him. Surely he would enjoy our debates more with someone more well read, like Carlisle, but he always seemed thoroughly interested in my opinions. I would watch each day as he looked into my eyes as we spoke, and saw them fade from a burning gold into onyx black, and then every two weeks or so, he would come in and they would be back to the beginning of the cycle and start again. Did they turn darker as he grew hungry, and go back to that curious shade of gold once he fed? I had so many questions like that that I would never be able to get the answers to. Did they all have super powers? If so what was his? Because I still had no idea what it was. Did they ever sleep? Because they never seemed tired. Why did they feed on animals? How could they work surrounded by so much blood?

And the most important one; What was a Volturi?

It was the question that I thought about the most. There must be some way to get an answer from them without blowing my cover. If it was some vampire thing or group, which I'm almost certain it was, there was no way to ask without hinting that I knew what they were. I would find out somehow though. It's one of the things that kept me almost motivated, my need for revenge. That Elijah was dead wasn't enough, I wanted to know what the Volturi was, why they wanted my shield, and how to destroy them. They took everything from me, and I was determined to find some way to do the same to them.

William had different question too though, personal ones. It became apparent to me that he had an endless list of them, so I limited them to one a day, with no promises that I would always answer.

"Yeah, I was able to walk all the way across the gym room and back before I fell. Carlisle's got a pretty good catch," I said happily. "So I should probably be discharged in a few more days, maybe a week."

I saw the smallest flash of sadness in his eyes, but it was quickly covered by a smile and an excited voice. William was easy to read, you could practically see his thoughts in his eyes most of the time. Well his emotions anyways, I knew that there were probably decades of secrets that I couldn't see in the depths of those eyes. "That's amazing news. Alice says that you've decided to stay in the area," he said, almost hopefully?

"For a while anyways. I wasn't really going anywhere in particular in the first place, and now that my baby…" I shook my head and cleared my throat. "This seems as good a place as any. It's a nice town, even covered in snow."

"It's even more beautiful in the summer, so much green, lots of forests. My sister loves small towns like this, it's why we moved here." _That and the cloud cover_, I thought with a small smile. "Have you been looking at any places?" He asked curiously.

"I bought a house, actually." His eyes looked surprised for a moment. "I just signed the papers today. It's a little place in town, but it's backed right up against the forest, and since it's on a hill I have a great view over the river. I take ownership on the thirty-first," I told him proudly. It was a fixer-upper, but I was more excited about that part than owning my first house. The realtor had been skeptical about selling to an eighteen-year-old, but when I said the magic words, "I'll be paying in full immediately," she had no more problems.

"Wow, congratulations," he said happily. "Where will you be staying until then? If you're going to be leaving here so soon."

"There's a nice hotel in town, I'll just get a room for a few weeks." My house had been almost half the price that Charlie's had been sold for, so I really had no problems with finances. I could go the rest of my life working if I wanted to, but I was set on going job hunting as soon as I was free from here, just to keep busy.

"You really don't need to waste all that money on a hotel, I'm sure Esme would be happy to have you, I know she has the room. I have a spare bedroom at my place to, if you want."

"Thanks, I think I would be more comfortable with my own place though." I tried to say it politely, but I didn't miss the flash of disappointment in his eyes. Really though, did he actually think I would stay in his house? It just seemed to be pushing it a little too, sleeping in a house with six vampires. I loved Alice, but I knew I wouldn't be comfortable. "Sorry."

"It's okay, just thought I'd offer. So, do you plan on going to College or University?"

"Is that your question for today?" I asked curiously. He had already asked a few, but they were more polite conversation than anything. He nodded. "I had really wanted to go to school to be a teacher before… but I just have no desire to do it anymore. I might be doing a couple online courses for fun, but besides that I really don't have the desire to go."

"What sort of online courses were you thinking of taking?"

"Nope, you had your one," I told him teasingly. He frowned, pouting like a child, but knew better than to push me. I once again beat him at a game of crazy eights and packed away my deck of cards, knowing that he would be leaving. His shift had started five minutes ago. He was getting much more graceful at losing, and I only saw a second of frustration pass through his eyes. He stood up, and put the chair back against the wall. He always seemed to hesitate before leaving, like he didn't want to. No one really wants to go to work though, that was it. I was getting better at easing the awkward moments when he would always look into my eyes for a minute before leaving.

"It's okay, you're bound to win sometime," I told him sweetly, and he laughed. "Good night William."

"Good night Isabelle."

I walked over to my washroom to brush my teeth and wash my face before crawling into bed and opening my tin. I took out my little wolf, and gave him his usual goodnight kiss before holding him tightly against my chest.

_Good night Jacob, I love you_, I said in my mind, knowing it wasn't safe to even whisper the words aloud. I could clearly imagine his voice in my mind, whispering the words back, before I tied up my tin and went to sleep.

* * *

"Are you sure that you wouldn't like to stay with Esme and I until you move into your house? We have plenty of room, you'd have your own bedroom and bath room and-"

"Thank you Carlisle, but I'll be fine. Really." He seemed so sad, and I couldn't help leaning in and giving him a hug. "But really, thank you, for everything."

He squeezed me a little tighter before straightening up. "Well, you make sure to come back in a week for your check-up. Don't walk any long distances, don't even stand for too long, and no lifting anything more than five pounds," he said sternly.

"I won't, I promise." I gave him another small smile, and followed Alice and Rosalie outside, who were carrying my four bags for me. My truck was waiting for me outside the main doors, and the girls laughed at me when I walked straight up to the hood and hugged it while they put my bags in the back. "I missed you big girl," I whispered happily. Rosalie handed me the keys, but I hesitated when I reached out for the door handle.

For a second, I swear that I had seen Jacob in the seat, smiling down at me. My breath caught in my throat, and Alice and Rosalie each gave me concerned looks. "Are you sure you want to drive? I don't mind driving her to the hotel for you," Rosalie said gently, putting a delicate hand on my shoulder. I considered it for a moment, then nodded silently before handing her back the keys and walked around to the passenger door.

I fought back the tears when I slid into my seat. It didn't smell like him anymore. I don't know why I had expected it to, he hadn't been inside it for almost seven months, but I realized I had been hoping it would. I was lost in my own thoughts as Alice drove behind us in her Porsche over to the Hotel. I could still see the faint bloodstain on the bench seat, though it was obvious that someone had tried extremely hard to wash it out. That's where our child had died… would I ever be able to drive this truck again? I pulled out my note book, opening it to the first page. In the blank header I wrote "Re-upholster truck bench," in large letters.

I had made my reservation already for the next three weeks, and went to the front desk to check in while the girls carried my bags for me. They were under strict orders from Carlisle to make sure I didn't lift them. The hotel was also worried about renting a room to someone my age, and I paid in full to ease their minds. They came up to my room with me, and put my bags up on the long desk. It was a decent room, a large window over-looking the forest, one queen-size bed, a white bathroom and a new-looking TV that I doubted I would use. The two of them hung out with me for a little bit, but Alice had a shift to work at the hospital and was going to drop Rose off at home. I gave them each a hug and thanked them as they left, and ignored the worried looks they gave me as they walked down the hall. I was no stranger to hotel rooms, they had been my home for weeks before my accident.

Alone, I opened up my tin and put one of my pictures of Jacob on my nightstand. I fell asleep much easier being able to look at his smiling face.

* * *

_My first full day as a free woman_, I thought to myself as I stood out of bed. I hadn't bothered to set an alarm, not really having any plans. I had told Alice that I would give her a call, but that was it.

It was only eight in the morning. I dug out my toiletry bag, walked over to the bathroom and had a nice, long bath. I didn't have my special bench in this shower that I'd used when I felt tired at the hospital, so it seemed the safer option. The hotel had supplied me with a cranberry-scented bubble bath, and I soaked in the wonderful scent until the steaming water turned cold.

I took my time doing my hair. It had gotten so long, almost down to my waist now. The shampoos and conditioners that Alice had recommended for me had made it super healthy, but I wasn't always very careful with it, so I sat down on the counter of the sink for an hour, snipping off the split ends that I could find. I put it into a neat ponytail when I was done, wrapping the elastic with a thick braid before pinning it in place. I caught sight of the ugly scar across my naked stomach as I walked out of the bathroom, mentally cringing away from it.

After getting dressed in a pair of dark grey jeans and a silky purple top, I put on my necklace and went downstairs to enjoy my free breakfast. There was a small buffet set up, and I got some blueberry pancakes and a glass of juice before sitting down by the window and reading the paper. The headline made me smile; _Moose caught stealing pants from clothesline_. Apparently the pants had gotten caught on one of his antlers. Yeah, small town for sure. And they had no idea that they had a coven of vampires living on their doorstep. I sat and did the crossword puzzle while picking at my breakfast, and went back up to my room to call Alice.

She answered on the first ring, "Isabelle! How was your night at the hotel? How are you feeling today?"

I smiled. "It was fine, the bed was almost too comfortable after all that time in the hospital. Would you be free to hang out for a while today?"

"I am completely free! I can head over now and come pick you up if you want?"

"Sure, I'll be waiting for you downstairs."

"Yay! Okay, see you soon!" She said excitedly, and hung up.

It was a little too wet for the flats I'd been wearing, so I put on my nice new pair of winter boots and walked down to the lobby. Alice was there in less than fifteen minutes, her bright yellow sports car hard to miss. For some reason she got out of the car and walked over to meet me. I wasn't sure why, I was fine to walk the short distance, then I hit a slick patch of ice. She got to me just in time, catching me easily, and I was so thankful to have my little clairvoyant friend with me. She was wearing four inch heels, making her look almost two inches taller than me. I was a little jealous, those shoes would have been a death-sentence for me, but it would be nice to be a little taller.

We both climbed into her car, and she turned to look at me excitedly. "So, where to?" She asked with a smile.

I looked at her apologetically. "I don't know. I'm sorry, I just couldn't stay in that hotel room all day."

"Would you like to come over to my house for a bit?"

"Sure," I said happily. Despite not wanting to actually live there for three weeks, I was curious about what a vampire's house would look like.

It was a bit longer than a half hour drive, and I guessed that she must have been waiting for me to call while already in town. She took us out of the town, and for the last twenty minutes we drove further and further into the forest. I didn't even see the turnoff that she took until we were already on it. As we drove for a couple minutes I had thought that we were on another road until we pulled into the clearing and drove up to the beautiful mansion.

It was three stories high, and painted a pristine white with blue shutters and trim. I had never seen a house this big in my life, outside of a magazine anyways. We drove around to the back of the house to a giant garage where Alice pulled in her car. There was a black Mercedes in there, a small red BMW convertible, a big Jeep wrangler and a giant F-150 with a full cabin and extended bed.

"Are you coming?" Alice asked from the other end of the garage, pausing by the open door.

"Can't we just hang out in here?" I asked pleadingly, stalking around the beautiful red convertible and taking in every detail. It was a work of art, all the way from the designer rims to her modified dual exhaust. "Is that a Magnaflow?" I asked in amazement, tracing a delicate finger over the sleek black exhaust pipes.

"Sure is," Rosalie said proudly, appearing by my side. I didn't even jump, I was too engrossed.

"I bet that dual spilt rear sounds beautiful," I whispered. She hadn't told me not to touch it, so I laid down on the ground and took a peek underneath, and let out a low whistle.

"Oh she does, if you want you can take her for a spin-"

"No! You are not stealing her away from me to talk cars today. If you want to play call William," Alice said seriously, and I laughed as she pulled me inside.

"I'll take you up on that later Rosalie!" I said before Alice shut the door. I would have dreams about what that beauty was hiding under her hood tonight…

It took me a minute to take in my surroundings as we went inside. It was like all the walls except for the weight bearing ones had been torn down, opening the huge main floor into a giant room. The back wall seemed to be made entirely of glass, looking out into the deep forest. Alice led me over to the kitchen, where Esme was pulling a tray of chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. She put them down quickly and ran over to hug me.

"Oh Isabelle sweetheart, it's so nice to see you," she said excitedly.

"I hope you don't mind. You have a very beautiful home," I told her shyly.

"Oh thank you dear, she's a work in progress but I quite enjoy her."

"William told me about your fondness for home renovations," I said with a smile, "If you're free sometime, I'd love to get your opinion on a few things about my new house."

Her face lit up. "I would enjoy that very much," she said sincerely. She offered me some cookies, and I took a pile upstairs with me while I followed Alice on her tour. It's not like they were going to eat them, it would be shameful to let them go to waste. I tried to keep up with her while she walked up the first flight of stairs, but the throbbing pain apparently became too much for my leg when it buckled under me. Alice grabbed me before I could slide down the stairs.

"Oh Isabelle I'm so sorry, you shouldn't be walking up stairs like this, I got so excited that I didn't even think. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, sorry, I should have said something. It's just a little bump though, I'll be fine." It took her a couple minutes to be reassured, and she helped me hop back down the stairs to the living room. I didn't drop a single cookie though, I thought proudly, and started munching on them happily once I sat down on the comfy couch. Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett came down to sit with us, turning on the TV. It was a little surreal, seeing these beautiful vampires acting so… normal. Just sitting around and watching TV like average teenagers. Emmett picked out a football game to watch, which painfully reminded me of Charlie. Jasper looked over at me, and I tried to shake my head discreetly, not wanting him to make a big deal about it. He sent a little flutter of happiness towards me, and I gave him a thankful smile.

Instead of looking at the TV, I inspected the small details of the room. Very tidy vampires, I couldn't see a speck of dust anywhere in the house. There were so many beautiful pieces of art scattered around the room, amazing paintings and vases, but there was one piece in particular that caught my attention. The prettiest chessboard I have ever seen, it looked like the pieces had been sculpted out of marble.

"That's a gorgeous chess set," I said to no one in particular.

"Thanks," Jasper said. "Do you play?"

"Kind of." He raised an eye at my embarrassment, brushing it away and making me laugh. "I like playing, but I've never met anyone else that does. I've only played against the crappy computer at my old school in Seattle."

He smiled, "Want to play a game with me?"

"I wouldn't man," Emmett said with a suspicious smile. "I bet she's hustling you, the kid is scarey good at games."

I rolled my eyes at him, but accepted Jasper's offer happily. He dashed over to pick it up, setting it on the table in front of me and sitting on the floor across from me.

It was much more fun playing with a real person, and I did see them more as people than vampires. "Are you sure you've never played before?" Jasper asked. I could feel his frustration leaking into me, and pushed hard against it to block it out.

"Yup," I said with a smile, taking his queen. "Check mate." Alice laughed.

"Hah! As if she beat you, no one but William and Alice ever beat Jasper at chess," Emmett said with a booming laugh. I could see why Alice would be hard to beat, and wondered if William had a similar power.

"Beginner's luck. I want a rematch," Jasper said seriously. He agreed to wait until the next time I same over, and that seemed to cheer him up a bit.

"Hey Rosalie, I was thinking about re-upholstering the bench in my truck, do you know any places that might sell some good leather?"

"Not in the area, you'd have to order online or drive down to Moncton or Fredericton," she said sadly.

"How far away are those places?" I asked curiously.

"Just a few hours, three tops." I thanked her, and made a mental note to buy a map.

* * *

The next day I decided to start my job hunting. I went to the library that I had seen during my tour with Alice to type up and print off some resumes.

"Hey there sweetie. I don't think I've seen you in here before," said the woman behind the main desk. She looked to be in her mid-twenties, with shoulder length brown hair and pale green eyes. She had such a friendly smile, it reminded me of Esme's. "We don't get enough young people in here to read anymore. It's unfortunate really."

"Yeah, I just moved here," I told her shyly. She seemed to sense my unease, and gave me another gentle smile. "This is a very beautiful library though, I just had to come check it out."

"She is beautiful isn't she? One of the oldest buildings in town, she's over a hundred years old now. I try to take good care of her," she said affectionately.

"Would it be okay to use one of the computers? I wanted to type up some resumes so I could start job-hunting."

"Of course, may I ask what sort of work you're looking for?"

She felt really easy to talk to, and I was completely honest. "I'm not sure, I'm just looking for something to kill time really. Something light, I just got out of the hospital and I'm not supposed to be on my feet for too long."

She seemed to panic slightly, and grabbed her chair before hopping over the counter and ushering me to sit down. It was so sweet, she didn't even know me and seemed genuinely worried about me. I took the seat happily though, my leg had been bothering me.

"Well, I'm actually looking to hire someone here. The pays not great, and it can get very quiet sometimes, but it's pretty easy work. And you have a large selection of reading material for when you get bored," she said with a nervous smile.

"Are you serious?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Of course, I'd have to give you a short interview first, but I'm really short staffed now that…" She shook her head, and changed the subject. "I'm sorry, it was rude for me to assume, a young girl like yourself would probably want something less boring-"

"No no, it's just that working at a library had always been a small dream of mine. It just sounded a little too good to believe. Hi, I'm Isabelle," I said with a smile, standing back up to give her a firm hand shake.

She smiled back happily. "I'm Katharine, but you can just call me Kat. What sort of work experience do you have?"

"Well, I moved here from Seattle. I worked in a bookstore there for a few months, and then a sporting goods store for seven months after that before I came here."

"Oh. Sorry, this is probably a dumb question, but are you allowed to work in Canada?"

"Oh, umm… I'm not sure actually."

"Well honey, I'll tell you what. I like you, and I won't interview anyone else for the next two days. You find out if it's legal and come back to me before then, and the job is yours. If you've worked in a bookstore before, you probably have most of your training done already." I let her know that I would get back to her as soon as possible, and left not seeing the point in printing out resumes.

I knew the perfect person to ask. She moved around all over the place, my vampire friend would surely know the answers to my questions. She could probably forge a document for me if I needed one too, I thought with a smile.

Alice was quite helpful. I didn't ask how she had done it, but she came to me the next day with my approved permit to work in the country. After thanking her about a hundred times, I drove over to the Library again and told Kat. She was just as pleased as I was, and we chatted happily while she showed me around and described my duties in the store. She offered for me to start on Monday, and I happily agreed.

I went back to my hotel room, and curled up on my bed with my tiny wolf. "Can you believe it babe? A job at a library... Wow." I felt the tears prick in my eyes, but I held them at bay. "It feels so wrong being happy without you by my side, but I'm doing this for you. You saved my life, and I promise that I won't waste it. Hopefully you can forgive me when we meet again in the stars." My throat felt too swollen to talk anymore, and I closed my eyes tightly to fight my tears. I fell asleep clutching my wolf to my chest, and remembering the feeling of his arms around me.

**Thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Living

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Caution: C****ontains mature language and subject matter.**

**Chapter Fourteen :: Living**

I couldn't find the stepping stool anywhere, and resigned to grabbing an empty milk crate. Kat had no idea how lucky she was to be so tall, it's almost embarrassing not being able to reach the top three shelves. That Philosophy book stuck in the home improvement section was driving me crazy though, and I couldn't rest knowing that it was there. Even with the extra foot of height it was still just barely out of my reach.

A porcelain white hand easily grabbed the book though. I had felt him walk up beside me, so I didn't jump when William's hand plucked the book from the shelf. "Is this what you were attempting to reach?" He asked, one corner of his mouth pulling up into a crooked grin.

"Hey William. Thanks," I said, as he handed over the book. "It was driving me crazy being up there. It's nice that people try to put them away themselves sometimes, but I really wish they would just leave it for me to do properly." I realized I had been rambling, and blushed slightly out of embarrassment. "So, what brings you here?"

"I just came to pick up a zoning book for my sister. She wants to build a patio and pool in her backyard, but needs to make sure there aren't any pipes or wires under there."

"Oh, those are right over here, follow me." I wove through the isles to the back of the building, and pointed up at the top shelf. "Just up there."

He pulled the book off of the shelf, flipping through the pages quickly. "Perfect, thanks. Can I check this out?"

"I can't let you take that copy, but I can make some photo copies for you if you'd like."

"That'd be great, thanks." Instead of waiting at one of the reading tables like people usually did, he followed me over into the office and leaned against the wall, watching me while I found the pages Esme would need and made the copies.

"So… how's work?" I asked, grasping at straws to fill the silence. It had been a couple weeks since I had seen him last, and I almost felt guilty that I hadn't visited him. He spent months coming to my room every night to play cards with me. Maybe I should have sent him a thank-you note or something…

"It's okay, a little boring now that you're gone, but I'm happy that you're not stuck in that little room anymore," he told me with a smile. "How have you been? Are you enjoying work here?"

"I love it," I told him honestly. "Surrounded by all these books… I couldn't have found a better job. My boss is great too, she's such a sweet woman."

He gave me a soft smile. "I'm really happy to hear that. Have you moved into your house yet?"

"Nope, that's tomorrow," I said excitedly.

"Do you need any help moving?"

"I should be fine, I just have a couple of suitcases really, and Esme and Alice are coming to help me move them already." I said it with a bit of a laugh, but saw a disappointed look cross his face quickly. Maybe that was his attempt at asking to hang out with me? Once again I felt a pang of guilt twinge in my stomach. "But you're welcome to tag alone, if you want?"

His smile took over his entire face, and my guilt evaporated. Apparently he still wanted to be my friend… and I realized I had no idea how that would work. For some reason, if felt so much different with him than it did with Alice or Jasper. "I'd love to, thanks. You sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all." Even I don't know if that was a lie or not.

"Cool, well… I'll see you tomorrow then," he said, his voice sounding a little excited. I gave him a small smile while he gracefully walked out of the building.

Six rolled around, and I turned off the lights and locked the door behind me before walking over to my truck. It got a little easier to drive each day since I hung my dream catcher from the rear view mirror, like it was absorbing my sadness. I stopped at the Canadian Tire to by an air mattress, and then picked up some dinner before heading back to my hotel for the last night. My things were already packed, as usual, so I curled up on my bed with my book on do-it-yourself flooring while picking at my salad for the rest of the night.

* * *

I sadly put away my picture of Jacob and my wolf as soon as I woke up, not wanting to risk Alice seeing it when she came over. After packing my tin away I hopped in the shower quickly, and heard the knock on the door as soon as I turned off the water. I wrapped one of the large fluffy towels around myself and dashed to open the door. "Sorry Alice, I'll just be a couple- Oh, hi William." His eyes went wide for a moment as he quickly took in my towel and dripping hair, and pointedly turned away. "Sorry, I'll be ready in a couple minutes. Do you want to come in?"

"Um, sure," I smiled as he went through obvious effort not to look at me, and dashed back into the bathroom to get dressed. Time was short, so I quickly combed my hair and braided it, before slipping on a pair of jeans and a black Led Zeppelin t-shirt. I slipped my ring back on, and went out to the room. William was perched on the edge of my bed, waiting patiently. I gave him an awkward smile, which he returned with a genuine one. "I'd offer to help you pack, but it looks like you're already done."

"Yep, I'm good to go." I picked up my grey suitcase, and Alice blew into my room to give me a hug with a devilish smile on her face. She grabbed one of my other bags, and William threw on my hiking pack and grabbed the last bag.

"Are you sure you should be carrying that?" He asked me in concern. I rolled my eyes.

"There's nothing wrong with my right arm, I'm sure I'll be just fine." Really my left one felt great now too, it wasn't as strong as my right, but it didn't hurt much anymore. I followed them down the hall to the elevators, and then through the lobby downstairs. I didn't see their vehicle when they walked me over to the truck, but I gave William the address and he said that he would meet us there. Alice and I hopped into my truck, and made our way across town. The closer I got, the bigger my nervous, excited smile grew. My realtor was waiting for me on the front step.

"Hey Miss Swan, you're right on time," Jenny said with a smile. I pushed away the sharp pain I got from hearing the sound of my name, and gave her a smile.

"Sorry, I hope you weren't waiting long."

"Nope, I just got here two minutes ago." She fished into her pocket, and pulled out the set of keys. "So, paperwork is all done, here is the deed to the house, and here are your keys," she said happily, dropping them into my hand. "If there's anything else you need, feel free to give me a call anytime."

"Thanks again Jenny, take care." Alice and I waved as she pulled out of my driveway. I looked at Alice with an excited smile. "So, would you like to see my new house?" She nodded happily, and I was shaking with excitement as I pushed the key into the lock, and opened up the door.

It was a small house, but still had much more space than I needed by myself. One floor with a partial basement, a large kitchen and living room, two bedrooms and one bathroom. The paint was peeling, inside and out, and the floors and windows needed to be replaced, but I absolutely loved it. I knew it must seem tiny and dirty compared to Alice's mansion, but she seemed completely happy and comfortable. "Hold on for just a sec, I need to grab something out of my truck." I skipped outside, hopping up onto one of the back wheels of my truck, and grabbed my crowbar. I had just landed back on the ground, when I heard the sexiest rumble approaching my house. I stood, watching in awe as the beautiful creature rolled into my drive way. I didn't even notice William and Esme get out, I was too entranced.

"This is… oh my god, do you seriously own an Aston Martin Vanquish?" I'm pretty sure I was drooling, but I didn't care. _Jacob, are you seeing this? She's so beautiful…_

I heard him chuckle. "Yep. She's a beauty, isn't she?" He said proudly.

Beyond words, I just let out a low whistle. After stalking around her a couple of times, admiring her artistic curves, I finally looked at William who had an amused smile on his face. I wasn't embarrassed, she deserved to be worshiped. "If I had known you were hiding her in your garage, I might have taken up that offer of crashing at your house," I said jokingly. "Want to see my new house?"

"Sure," he said, and his tone made me wonder if he had taken my words seriously. I decided to just let it go. I threw my three-foot black and silver crowbar lazily over my shoulder, and gave Esme a small hug before leading them inside. I gave them the quick tour, and started to feel a little self-conscious. I felt like Esme could see what I saw though; not what it was, but what it could be. I tried to explain my vision.

"So, I plan on taking this wall-" I swung at it with my crowbar, making the three vampires jump while I left a gaping hole in it, "And this one," Another swing, "Out altogether. It will really let the light in from the east, and turn this into one big room. All of this is coming out," I caught onto the edge of the floor boards, and ripped up a corner of the splintering wood, "same stuff is in the bedrooms. Then I'm going to strip all of this horrendous paint off, still not sure about the colours, then I'll be replacing the windows." I waved them over to the bathroom that opened up on both sides to each bedroom. I broke through the door into the smaller bedroom. "This I'm going to wall over, and turn that room into a small library, and I'm going to expand the two closets into one big one. What do you think?"

I finally looked over to the three of them. Esme was nodding in agreement, but Alice and William were looking at me like I was speaking Chinese backwards. I smiled, "What, surely you've seen a girl swing a crowbar before," I said with a smile, and laughed as I took a swing at the wall that was separating the two closets.

"Just wasn't expecting it from you," William said in disbelief.

I gave him a dark look. "Hey, I'm tougher that I look. I've broken a nose or two in my day, and I'm not talking about my own." The look of surprise that he gave me made me laugh loudly, and I was joined in by Alice who wrapped an arm around my waist. We walked with Esme back over to my living room, and William went out to bring my bags in for me.

"Your idea sounds perfect Isabelle, I would do the exact same things. Your weight bearing beams are right here and here," she said, pointing to the walls on either side of the bathroom door, "So you should have no problems."

"That's good. I wanted to ask your opinion about the plumbing though, I want to gut the kitchen completely, but would I have any problems if I moved the sink from the corner to under the window?" She showed me how to turn off the water to the house, letting me know I'd have to drain the pipes before disconnecting, and offered to take me out to show me the parts I would need. I thanked her, and told her that I would let her know as soon as I was ready for it.

"So where are you going to sleep tonight?" William asked my curiously. "You don't have any furniture."

"Yeah, I don't want to get anything until I'm done with the renovations, they'll just get in the way. I'll be sleeping here though, I picked up and air mattress yesterday, and I have a sleeping bag."

"That can't be very comfortable," he said curiously.

I smiled at the memory, cuddling up next to Jacob on the air mattress in the tent when it had gotten cold. "I've done it plenty of times before, they can me very comfortable." I had to push the memory away quickly. Jacob wouldn't want me here crying, and I wouldn't let those beautiful memories be tainted by my sadness. I thanked them for their help before they left, and Alice volunteered to go shopping at Walmart with me. She said the name like it was a dirty word, but where else was I supposed to go to buy a hammer and toilet paper?

I got all of those little things that I needed besides toilet paper; hand soap, cleaning materials, some safety goggles and a dust mask, then picked up a bunch of groceries, some laundry detergent and a few boxes of garbage bags. I was going to need a lot of them. Alice came back and helped me bring everything inside, and then I gave her a lift home before heading home again myself, picking up a pizza on the way.

I sat on my air mattress on the middle of the room in front of my pizza. I should be happy; I'm an eighteen year old girl living in my own new, completely paid off house. But it paled in comparison to what my life should have been like right now. I should be almost done my pregnancy, living with Jacob and Billy in their beautiful small house. We would have moved into Rebecca's old room, and turned his small one into a nursery maybe. I should have walked down the aisle towards him on Charlie's arm, I know we would have gotten married as soon as he turned eighteen. I should be falling asleep in his arms, his big hands resting on my swollen belly…

I jumped to my feet, grabbing my crowbar and swinging violently at my walls. I was alone and didn't bother to fight the tears as I screamed and shouted in anger. By the time I fell asleep, completely exhausted and sore, I had already taken down the two walls in my living room.

* * *

I woke up early in the morning to bright sunshine coming in through my window, and realized I had only slept three hours. I wasn't going to bother trying to go back to sleep though, and it looked like I wouldn't be seeing Alice today either. It was Sunday so I didn't have work, and I munched on some cold pizza while I bagged up my garbage from last night's fit. I didn't bother sweeping, and just started ripping up the floors. They were old and falling apart, so they were easy to pull for the most part, and by the end of the day all of the old wood was bagged up and sitting by the front door.

The sun was starting to set, so I hopped into the shower just in case Alice decided to pay me a visit. She came by with Emmett a half hour after I got out. She was blown away by how much I had accomplished in one day.

"Sorry about the mess guys. Just give me a sec, I'm going to drop these bags at the end of the driveway."

"Hey, let me. You look like you could use a break," Emmett said in an uncharacteristically gentle voice. I accepted thankfully, feeling like my arms were going to fall off.

"Are you okay?" Alice asked hesitantly once we were alone. I looked at her in confusion.

"Yeah, of course. Why?"

"Nothing," she said sadly. I knew that she knew I was lying, and I did feel bad about it.

"I'm sorry Alice. It's not that I don't trust you, because I do, but there are just some things that I can't talk about. I'll be okay though. I'm just still figuring out how to deal, that's all." She nodded sadly in understanding, and I gave her a hug. "Tomorrow I'm going to start stripping the paint inside. I'm not sure if that's really your thing, but you're welcome to come help if you're bored." The invitation seemed to cheer her up, and I told her that she could come by any time after seven. I thanked Emmett again for his help as they left, and spent an hour sweeping floors then scrubbed my bathroom until I was too tired to keep my eyes open for another second.

* * *

The week seemed to fly by. Between working all day, and destroying my house until I was too tired to move at night, it seemed like every second of my waking hours was occupied. I liked it, I barely had to think, and not thinking made my days just a little bit easier. Every wall inside my house had been stripped and primed, and Esme and Emmett had even started to help me tear apart my kitchen. He had moved everything into my bedroom, the stove and fridge, to keep them out of the way, and it felt like I was living in some sort of weird college dorm. It was nice, not having to even get out of bed to grab a cold bottle of water. Emmett seemed to enjoy helping, and thought it was hilarious watching me smash things. I really enjoyed his company too; just like Alice, it seemed just too easy for him to make me smile. He just reminded me so much of my brothers.

By the time the weekend rolled around, I was ready to start getting my materials to start building my new kitchen. Esme really wanted to help, so we were driving together in her big F-150 to the store she had recommended. I had spent the last couple days at work sketching out my designs of what I wanted whenever I had free time, and Esme let me drive the powerful truck while she inspected my blueprint. I felt like I was driving a tank, one that was easily capable of barreling down the highways at a hundred and forty KPH. Esme didn't seem to mind, and I guessed that she had driven with Alice many times before. Alice had been happy to let me take her Porsche for a test drive a few nights ago, and it featured in my dreams ever since.

Neither of them compared to William's beautiful, silver goddess though. I hadn't seen him for a while, and wondered what he was up to. I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes it felt like he was outside of my house. It was the same feeling I got when I was around anyone, like faint shadows that I could feel in my mind when someone was close. It even woke me up some nights, and I couldn't get back to sleep until the feeling dissolved. It was really weird, and a little creepy, and I had felt it slowly start to set in a little while after Christmas when I was still in the hospital. I thought about it, and was certain that I could _feel_ Esme in the seat next to me. Yes, very weird.

"I really like this idea, of doing the curve with the counter and the island. Very original, it's going to look amazing." She told me to turn, and I pulled into the parking lot of the store. "So, first we'll get the counters cut, then the shelves and cupboards, tiles, back splash…"

"I also want to get a new sink and appliances also. I'm donating the ones I have to the community center. I brought some books by the other day, and they're in desperate need of new ones. Someone's coming to pick them up tomorrow." Their stove didn't even work anymore, and the freezer in their fridge was broken. They used them for a lot of programs, after school day care, seniors groups, public functions. Mine might not be brand new, but they were in great condition. Esme gave me a proud smile, and it reminded me so much of Charlie's face at my graduation that I had to look away.

She seemed to have a blast shopping with me. I paid close attention as she explained the pros and cons of different materials. She questioned my high-end choices a little, worrying about the price, but I told her that it wasn't an issue. The way I looked at it, flipping this house was going to make it sell for many times what I paid for it. I figured that I would stay and enjoy the few years I had with Alice, then I'd move on to somewhere else. I knew they wouldn't be able to stay here forever, or people would notice that they didn't age.

It usually took them a few days to cut the marble, but apparently Esme was a very valued customer, and they said that they'd be done by the end of the day with no extra charge. We hopped back in my truck, and went to another store to pick out my new fridge and stove. I loved driving that big truck, as soon as the weather got a little better I would start doing some work on mine. The snow was still melting though, and it would be too much of a mess to work on it now. I picked out all stainless steel appliances, including the microwave and a gorgeous new sink, and the men working were more than happy to move them to the truck for Esme. I swear they didn't even notice me, but I was very much alright with that. It looked like it was painful for her to watch the three men moving the stove, and I knew that she could probably have done it easily herself. I had to cough to cover the laugh at the picture in my mind; sweet little Esme holding a stove above her head with a big smile on her face.

"Are you okay dear?" She asked with a concerned look. "You're not coming down with a cold are you?"

"I'm fine Esme, just a small itch in my throat."

She called Emmett and Jasper on her cell phone, and asked them to meet us at my place to help move the things inside. I felt guilty about it, they all went so far out of their way to help me, and the fact that they had to hide what they really were just made it more difficult for them. I couldn't even offer to make them dinner to pay them back for it. I felt useless. I'm not sure what they really ate, just that they ate animals. Maybe I could try to catch a deer or something… No, there's no way I'd be able to carry it, and I would blow my cover.

So I was just as nice as possible as they moved the things into my now-cluttered bedroom, smiling and thanking them as much as possible. We went back and picked up my other materials, and I tried to lift one box of the tiles and felt like I was going to lose my arm. Esme was talking to the store owner.

"Hey Isabelle, let me get that for you. Those boxes probably weigh more than you do."

"David, what are you doing here? I thought you worked at the gift shop at the hospital?" I had been one of their most loyal customers for a few months, so of course I recognized him easily. Short, ink-black hair and piercing blue eyes. He was twenty-five and helped out his mom there a lot, who owned the store.

"I do, but I work here too some nights. I also help out at the community center. They told me that you were donating a new stove and fridge, everyone's really excited," he told me with a smile.

"Wow, that must keep you busy, three jobs."

"Yeah, I like keeping busy though," he said happily, lifting the last box of tiles onto the truck bed. He wiped away the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead with the back of his sleeve, then two men came out carrying my counter top. Man, it looked beautiful. They got everything loaded up, then I thanked David again and hopped into the truck.

"A friend of yours?" Esme asked curiously as he waved.

"His Mom owns the gift shop in the hospital, I've just seen him a lot there. Seems like a nice guy," I said absently, backing out carefully then pulling onto the road. I saw her nod in my peripherals.

She wouldn't let me help unload anything, and I took a little longer in the washroom to make it easier on her. Sure enough, after four minutes, she had all the materials stacked inside and was just carrying in the last piece for my island.

"Esme, I don't know how to thank you. I am so grateful for all of your help," I told her honestly.

"Well, there's one thing you could do for me," she said with a smile.

"What? Name anything, and I'll do it."

"You could let me help," she said excitedly. I laughed.

"Are you sure that you want to? You've already helped so much, I'd just feel too guilty asking more from you."

"Isabelle dear, this is my passion. It would be like taking a child to Disney world if you let me help." I couldn't refuse the pleading look in her eyes.

"Okay, well I'm starting bright and early in the morning. Pop over anytime you'd like." I had really wanted to do it on my own, but she was an expert and I knew I could use her help. Besides, I had many other projects that I wanted to do, this one would be the hardest and I could share it.

I hopped into the shower once she pulled away, then got to cleaning my gutted kitchen as best as I could. I made myself a sandwich, and sat out on my front porch to watch the water while I ate. Half way through it, I got that eerie feeling feeling again. This was really starting to bug me, and I wouldn't let him keep lurking around my house.

"Come out William." I said evenly. It was a minute before he decided to come out from the trees, but I appreciated that he didn't flee like a coward.

"How did you know I was there?"

I ignored his question. "If you want to hang out, call or knock on the door. I don't want you sneaking around my house anymore, it really bothers me."

He had the decency to look guilty and embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I just worry about you being out here by yourself."

"Thank you, but I don't need you to protect me. I'm not your concern."

"What if I want you to be?"

I shot him a look. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, never mind. How did you know I was out here?" He asked again. I looked back out to the water as I replied.

"I always know when anyone is out here. I can feel them. It even wakes me up at night."

"Sorry." He sounded genuine, and I could sense his fear of my anger. I sighed.

"It's okay. Just don't do it again, okay?"

"Okay, I won't. I promise." I gave him a small smile, and he relaxed. "May I?" He inquired, gesturing to the spot on the steps next to me.

"Sure."

We sat and talked for a while, but I wasn't ready to invite him inside after catching him tonight. I tried not to show my discomfort, and took out my nervous energy on twisting my ring around my finger. He noticed though.

"Do you miss him?" The question caught me off guard, and I looked down at the small diamond on my left hand.

"Yes," I whispered quietly. The word was an understatement. When I remembered the feeling of his skin against mine, I could barely breathe.

"Do you still love him?"

"More than anything in the universe." William nodded sadly, and I excused myself to go to bed. I waited for a minute inside until I felt that eerie feeling dissipate.

"_What if I want you to be?"_ What the hell was that supposed to mean? I sighed angrily, and plopped down on my air mattress.

* * *

It was amazing how quickly my kitchen came together. The shelves and cupboards were so easy to install. Esme held them in place for me while I drilled them in, and I was happy that she at least let me handle the power tools, which she had also graciously lent me. We sealed in and hooked up the new sink, and placed down the marble counter tops. The whole thing only took a couple of hours, with Esme's perfect eye sight we didn't even need to use a level. She had brought her own tile cutter over with her, and once we had plastered in the backsplash, she showed me how to lay tiles properly. I had already read how to do it in a book, but I learned much better while actually doing things myself. We were finished by the early afternoon, but she told me not to walk on the tiles for about two days, or I could risk cracking them.

"Wow, this looks good," I said proudly. "Thanks Esme, you're a godsend."

"Thanks for letting me help sweetie, this was fun." She gave me a tight hug, and I walked her out to her truck before she left. I went back inside, and surveyed my work.

The happiness dissolved in the silence in about a minute in a half, and the dark cloud started to roll back in. No, I couldn't just stand here and do nothing. My walls need to be painted, I'll need to get a step ladder to reach the top. I have to pick up a new trim, and then my flooring for the living room, my bedroom and the study…

The crappy phone that was sitting on my floor rang, and I dashed over to it gratefully. "Hello?"

"Hey Isabelle!"

"Hey Alice!" I said happily. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just got back from lunch with Jasper, and thought I'd see what you were up to."

"Well, I was just about to go out and pick up some paint, feel like tagging along? I could use you opinion on colors."

"Sure! I'll be there soon." She hesitated for a moment. "Would you mind if William came along?"

Well, at least he's trying to be normal. "Not at all. I'm just going to hop in the shower and get all of this dust off of me. If I don't answer just come on in."

"Okay, see you soon!"

I felt them arrive and heard them come inside just as I was slipping into my clothes. I put on a nice black pair of pants and a grey silk top, knowing that it always made Alice happier when I didn't dress in denim. I twisted my wet hair into a bun, and slipped on my nice black boots before going out. "Okay, ready," I said, slipping on my coat. William gave me an odd look, but Alice was her normal self. "Oh that top looks so nice on you! I told you it was a good choice. You kitchen looks amazing by the way, you guys did a really great job. Esme says you have a bit of a knack for the designing stuff, you better watch out though because she might try to steal your projects away from you. You know she loves-"

I linked my arm through hers and turned her towards the door. "Calm down Alice, I can barely understand you when you talk that fast," I said with a laugh. "Hey William."

"Hey. The kitchen does look great."

"Thanks," I ushered them outside, locking my door behind me. "So, I was thinking of maybe a sky blue for the living room, it would really-" I gasped, then danced over to her excitedly, forgetting whatever I had been talking about. "Hey there beautiful, I missed you," I whispered happily, trailing a light finger over the hood. William laughed at me, and the act seemed to relax his face slightly.

"Want to take her for a spin?"

My eyes went wide, and I didn't hesitate as I ran over and gave him a hug before swiping the keys from his hand. He just stood there, seemingly frozen. Alice and I hopped into the car. God, the inside was so sleek and beautiful. "I'm grateful William, but if you don't hurry up I swear I will drive away without you!" He laughed again, and ran over to join us, sliding into the back seat. I almost purred when I started her up, and felt a shiver go down my spine. Very carefully, as to not spray any gravel and chip the paint, I backed out of my driveway. I caught a look from William in the rear view mirror, and gave hive an enormous smile as I peeled down the street.

It was like she was an extension of my body; her reactions were so immediate and fluid. She was quiet and deadly, like a silver panther flying down the roads. My laughter filed the car as I took the winding turns, and I caught sight of the time on the lit-up display on the dash. I had less than two hours before the community center was going to send someone over for the appliances. With a sad sigh, I spun out and did a one-eighty just like Jacob had taught me in the Rabbit, and shot off in the opposite direction. We got to the store way too soon. I got out of the car once I parked, and dejectedly handed William back his keys. He was watching me with an amused smile.

"I seriously thought you were going to kill us a few times, but you handle her like a pro," he said.

"Thanks," I replied happily. "She's amazing, it was like-" I had turned around and started walking and my foot caught on absolutely nothing, sending me towards the pavement. I shut my eyes and braced myself for the impact, but instead two solid stone arms wrapped around my waist. I opened my eyes, and William was holding me against his body. It almost felt like he was dipping me in a dance, but his face was much, much too close to mine. That hungry look in his eyes made my stomach twist, and I pushed my hands lightly against his chest. He composed himself immediately, standing me back up on my feet and taking a deliberate step back. "T-thank you," I stammered awkwardly, smoothing out my shirt.

"Don't worry about it," he said smoothly, his voice sounding thick. He gave me one of his crooked smiles. "You're much better at driving then you are at walking."

"Hah, funny," I said sarcastically, but I was smiling. I looked over at Alice who had a mischievous smile on her face, and chose to ignore it as I looped my arm through hers and led the way into the store. Alice liked my idea of painting the living room pale baby blue, and I picked out a light lavender color for my bedroom. William was chivalrous enough to carry the two cans to his car, and I called shotgun before Alice could.

The drive was short, since I only lived a five minute drive away from the main part of town, and I invited them inside while William carried my paint. I dumped the rest of my painting supplies down by the door next to the rest of my tiles. "It seems that you have a lot left over," William pointed out when I gestured for him to put them in the same spot. I was trying to keep my chaos organized in one spot.

"Yeah, I still need to do my bathroom and the front foyer. I wanted them all to match," I explained. I felt bad not being able to offer them a place to sit down or something to drink, the thought made me shudder slightly. Wait, I shouldn't _know_ that they'd refuse. Damn it. "Can I get you guys something to drink? Sorry that I don't have a couch or anything…"

"We're fine," Alice said happily, and I relaxed slightly. "So what will you be doing next?" I took a quick peek at William, and he was casually leaning against the wall, watching me with a small smile. "Well, I can't move the stuff out of my room until the tiles are dry, so I'm going to start painting until then. Then it will be the rest of the tiling, then the floors-" I caught William give an irritated look, then heard the crunch of gravel as someone pulled up the drive. I took a quick peek at my watch.

"Were you expecting someone?" William asked with a forced casual tone.

"Sorry, those must be the guys from the community center. They're early." I walked over to the door and opened it just before he knocked. "Oh, hey."

"Hey Isabelle. Wow, you look gorgeous."

"Um, thanks David." I said uncomfortably, and waved him and the other man inside. "They're just over here, come on in. Don't bother taking your boots off."

"Doing a bit of renovating?" He asked with a smile.

"Yeah, just a bit." He stopped when he noticed my company. "Oh, sorry. Alice, William, this is David. He works at the community center, just picking up my old fridge and stove."

"Hey Doctor Masen," He said uncomfortably. William hadn't moved from his casual stance of leaning against the wall, and just gave him a small nod. _Awkward_.

"So yeah, they're right there," I said, pulling his attention back to the task at hand, and pointing the two inside my bedroom. "Just take them out through the bathroom though if you don't mind. My tiles are still drying."

"No problem." They took out the fridge first, then the stove, and they were loaded onto his truck in fifteen minutes. "Thanks again Isabelle, I'll see you around," he said, and I gave them a small wave before closing my door.

Alice and William stuck around for a while, but when I offered for them to stay for dinner the two of them said they needed to head back. I thanked them again for their help and the amazing drive, and went back inside.

* * *

I really liked my job. Despite Kat saying that there was a lot of down time, the days always flew by. I loved organizing things, and I stumbled across so many interesting books. As long as I was inside of the building for my shifts for the few people that wanted to check-out or return books, she really didn't care what I did. I kept everything neat and tidy, and spent all of my free time reading. I got all of my painting done during my evenings, and now had full use of my beautiful kitchen. Alice came by a couple of times during the week, but I had told her that I was going to be busy this weekend.

I woke up to my quiet house early in the morning, but couldn't make myself get out of bed until noon. I just stared at the calendar. From what I knew, this would have been the weekend that I was supposed to have my baby. I just wanted to be alone, and not have to try so hard to act in front of company. Eventually, I couldn't take the silence anymore, and made myself get up.

I blasted my radio until I couldn't hear myself think anymore, and took a long bubble bath. Even holding my breath under the warm water I could still hear the music. I wasn't planning on going out, so I put on a pair of oyster-grey silky pyjama shorts and a baggy black t-shirt. I wrapped my hair up in a messy bun on top of my head, and started ripping out the tiles in my bathroom.

It was the newest room in the house, the last owners had just replaced everything. I adored the claw-footed bath tub, and the vanity counter around the sink and the toilet was brand new. I just didn't like the color of the tiles, and wanted them to match the sand colored tiles in my kitchen. The sun was already down by the time I finished, and I started bagging up my garbage and carrying it out to the end of the road.

I was just bringing out the last bag when I heard the crunch of gravel under his feet. It was dark, so it took me a minute to recognize his face.

"Oh, hey David."

"Hey, what're you up to?" He gave me his gentle smile as he stopped, putting his hands into his pockets.

"Just taking out some trash." Obviously. "What are you doing walking around in the dark?"

"Oh, I just live down the street, heading home from a buddy's place." Hmm, he didn't mention that last weekend. He stood there quietly for a moment, watching me with a friendly smile.

"Oh, umm… would you like to come in for a glass of water or something?" I didn't know what else to say, and just wanted to break the awkward silence. It sounded kind of rude in my head to just say bye and turn around.

"Sure, thanks," he said, and I awkwardly led him inside.

"Sorry about the mess, I have some chairs in the kitchen," I said apologetically. I led him over to the silver stools that I had picked up to go on the other side of my island.

"Wow, you're kitchen really turned out great. You do this all yourself?" He took a seat, and I poured us both a glass of orange juice, dropping in a few ice cubes.

"No, I had a lot of help from Esme. She's amazing at this sort of stuff." I sat down with him, keeping one stool in between us.

"So I figured, she's one of Jim's best customers. How do you know her?"

"Her husband was my doctor, I hang out with their family a lot."

We talked for a little while, and I became a bit more comfortable around him. He seemed like a really sweet guy, did a lot of volunteer hours, helped out his mother a lot. He was really polite. He noticed my ring, and asked if I was married. I didn't want to lead him on to think I was available, so I just told him I was. It was obvious that I was here alone though. Luckily he didn't pry.

I excused myself to use the washroom, and as soon as I came back he started asking me questions about my work. He thought it sounded pretty boring.

"Not at all," I told him. My eye lids felt a little heavy, but it was still pretty early in the evening. I shook my head to wake myself up. "I love reading, and it pretty cool… umm… getting too…re-" I just seemed to lose my balance, and the room spun around me before I fell off of my stool.

He _laughed_, and I heard him walk away, and the audible 'click' as he locked my front door. Why would he laugh? Why wasn't he helping me up? I tried to push myself up, but my arms felt like rubber, and they weren't moving properly.

He came back over, and stood over me. That's when I saw the _look_. I hadn't thought about George in almost a year, but the image of him was bright in my mind now. I had seen that look on him many times. He leaned forward and picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder. Adrenaline and fear shot through me.

"N-no!" I managed to sputter out. My fists seemed to do nothing to him, but by flailing my legs I managed to get in a good kick or two. He grunted, and threw me down on my air mattress. My vision was blurry, made worse by the tears that were streaming down my face. I tried to roll away, but couldn't even move my arms any more. They were lifeless beside me.

"Don't worry, you won't remember a thing in the morning." My cries were silent as he pulled off my shirt, but I somehow managed to spit in his face. He scowled at me, and struck me across the face with the back of his hand. I didn't even feel it. He started to pull off my shorts. I wanted to fight, to pick up my crow bar that was leaning against my wall and beat the shit out of him, but I couldn't. I felt so useless… I withdrew into myself, and closed my eyes tightly.

I heard a crashing sound, but it seemed so far away. I dared to open my eyes for a moment, and David was gone. I saw Alice throw a blanket over me, and when she pulled me into her arms I caught a quick glance of William holding David off of the ground by his throat against my wall before everything went black.

* * *

I woke up with a pounding headache, and it was only a moment before I remembered what had happened.

He lied, I remembered everything.

I sat up quickly, clutching my blanket to myself. It was my quilt, but I was not in my room. And this wasn't my shirt. There was a stinging in my elbow as I sat up, and I realized that there was an IV in my arm.

"Isabelle? You're okay. You're in my room," Alice said gently. I flinched away from her when she reached out for me, but I leaned forward and hugged her tightly once I realized it was her.

"Thank you Alice," I whispered, shaking. She held me tightly.

"Do you remember what happened?"

I nodded against her shoulder. "Did… did he?"

"No, he didn't. We got there in time. I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner, we were so far away-"

"It's okay, thank you Alice."

"You had a bad reaction to whatever that creep gave you, you kind of had a seizure while you were out. I hope you don't mind but Carlisle gave you some medicine and an IV to help counteract it." I leaned away and looked up at her, her face was so worried. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," I said immediately. I didn't even want to think about it.

"You won't ever have to worry about him again. He won't even dare step foot in the province again."

"Did William hurt him?" She looked at me curiously for a moment, then gave me a small smile as she nodded. "Good."

She let me use her shower, I felt dirty, like I could still feel his hands on me. I scrubbed hard underneath the scolding water until my skin was red and stinging, and Alice lent me a pair of jeans and a large black t-shirt. I winced when I looked in the mirror. I had a black eye, and my lip was swollen and cracked. I doubted Alice would mind, so I dipped into her ridiculous supply of make-up and did my best to cover it up. She was waiting for me on her bed.

"Can you take me home?" I asked quietly.

"Of course," she said, and led me downstairs into the garage. We passed Esme, Rosalie and Emmett on the way down. They said hello, but I couldn't even bring myself to look at them, and just gave them a little wave. I barely noticed the road as she drove me home.

William was there though, installing a new door. That's what the crashing sound must have been. He stopped when we pulled up, and had an angry expression on his face when he looked at me.

"Sorry," I said automatically, and his face turned to one of confusion. He jumped down the stairs and ran to my side quickly.

"What are you apologizing for Isabelle? You didn't do anything wrong."

"You just… looked mad and-"

My words were cut short when he reached for my face. I didn't flinch away from him, the vampire that saved me, as he ran a thumb delicately over my bruised eye. "I'm not mad at you, I'm furious at what was done _to_ you," he said gently.

"Thank you," I whispered, looking into his eyes. He smiled gently, and wrapped his arms around me. I gave him a light squeeze back.

He let me go, and I admired his handiwork. "Wow, thanks for the beautiful new door," I said, forcing a happy tone into my voice. It really was nice, pristine white, with beautiful floral designs frosted into the glass.

"You were checking it out at the store the other day, it seemed liked you liked it."

"Thank you."

"I'll be done in a minute, just installing a new lock." I nodded and Alice led me inside. She watched me carefully as I walked into my kitchen, grabbed a butcher's knife, and walked into my bedroom. I stabbed the air mattress, and watched it deflate slowly. Once it was flat, I crumpled it up and stuffed it into a garbage bag. I was going to need to pick up some more of those. I found Alice and William watching me worriedly. I smiled. "Sorry about that, but I feel much better now," I said with a weak smile. They smiled back.

"Feel like going shopping for a real bed?" Alice asked hopefully. I shook my head.

"Sorry, I don't really feel like shopping today."

"That's okay, want to crash at my house tonight? I don't want you sleeping on the floor." The thought of going back to her place, I was sure that they all knew what happened, made me feel ill. I didn't want all of their pitying looks. I shook my head, and William seemed to understand.

"I have a spare room at my place if you want. I wouldn't mind at all." I thought about the offer for a moment. Yes, he had been kind of stalking my house for a while, but it was more like he had been checking up on me, not watching me. He had been trying to look out for me, and when I told him to stop this happened. Alice would have stopped me if she didn't think I was safe with her uncle.

"Okay, thanks. I think I'm just going to hang out here for today and put down some flooring though."

"Want help?" He asked excitedly.

"Sure."

Alice floated around while we worked quietly, but it was obvious that she didn't find us entertaining. She left after a little while, giving me a long, tight hug and saying that she would call me tomorrow. William didn't seem to mind my lack of conversation, and just handed me tile after tile, his small smile switching to a look of frustration every once in awhile. It was obvious that he was lost in his own thoughts as well. We finished with the tiles, and started on the hardwood in my bedroom. I really enjoyed using the nail gun, and was able to take out a little more of my anger.

It got late, so I packed up a few things before walking out with William, and locking my pretty new door. "Should I follow you in my truck?"

"I have a few days off, I can just drop you off at work tomorrow."

I laughed. "Since when do you take vacations?" I asked teasingly. He rolled his eyes, then held the door open for me. I smiled and got in. I sat quietly in the car while he drove, not really paying attention to where he was going, just watching the trees flash by.

"What are you thinking?" His voice caught me by surprise, and when I looked over I realized that he was watching me with that frustrated look again.

"That's not the first time you've asked me that question," I pointed out.

"This isn't the first time you've avoided answering it either," he said with a smile. "So?"

"If it hadn't been for the accident, I would probably be having my baby soon." God, why was I once again spilling to him?

"I'm really sorry Isabelle."

"It's okay." I went back to looking out of the window, and he was silent again.

His house was much more reasonable looking than Alice's. A small two story, all white with grey shutters and a blue door. He gestured for me to walk in ahead of him once he opened the door. It was very white. Soft white carpet, white walls. A very large living room with walls covered in cluttered book shelves. My attention was drawn to the shiny black piano in the corner of the room.

"Would you like something to eat?"

"Umm, sure." I followed him curiously to his kitchen, and leaned against his counter as I watched him cut up some vegetables for a salad. It was obvious that he had no idea what he was doing, but he was trying so hard that I didn't want to ruin it for him. He didn't use any lettuce, but cut up a pepper, a cucumber, some carrots and celery and an apple and mixed it together. I had to bite down on my lip to stop myself from laughing. He made two plates, and we sat down together at his small table. I watched with a small smile as he took the first bite. He looked like he was going to be sick. I shook my head, and started eating. It was the thought that counted, and I thought his effort was really sweet.

"You have a very beautiful home. It's very… clean."

"Hah, I know it's a lot of white. I'm not really into the home-decorating thing though. This seemed easiest."

"No, I mean it, it's really nice. Your piano is beautiful."

"Thank you." He gave me another smile, which was darkened by his attempt at eating food. I didn't want him to suffer on my part anymore.

"Do you think you could play me a song?"

"Sure," he said in relief, and I followed him over to it. He patted the spot beside him on the bench, and I only hesitated for a few seconds before sitting down.

I had never heard anything so beautiful. Of course no human would have been able to play like this though. He barely looked at the keys as his agile fingers flew back and forth across them. He seemed to get lost in the music himself, he closed his eyes as a small smile played on his lips, and it didn't affect his technique in the slightest. It was enchanting to watch. The notes lowered and slowed until they finally came to an end. He opened his eyes, and caught me watching him.

"That was amazing, I don't think I've ever heard that song before."

"Probably not. I wrote it."

"Wow." I didn't know what else to say. He showed me up to his guest room then, which had its own private bathroom. "Thank you again William."

"No problem. Just let me know if you need anything."

"Not just for letting me crash here. Thanks for…"

"I know Isabelle. Don't worry about it." With a smile, he closed the door behind him. I got changed into my pyjamas and put in my mouth guard before crawling into the soft bed, just in case. It was hard falling asleep with that weird feeling that I always had when I could feel someone nearby, but after a little while I could hear him playing quietly on his piano again, and it helped me drift off to sleep.

* * *

I ended up staying with him for the week. He was a very good host, giving me lots of privacy, and insisting that I stayed until I got my bedroom finished and bought a proper bed. I really didn't have the time to go shopping during the week, and to be honest, I just wasn't ready to be alone in my home again yet. I didn't mind it here, and I found that I had gotten over my grudge of him vising my back yard and his rudeness and socially awkward behaviour when I first met him. He had so many interesting books, and we got drawn into long conversations about different ones every night. I would usually go home after work for an hour or two, work on the floors for a bit, then go back to his place. Even when he started working again on Thursday. Alice joined us for a couple of hours almost every night also, and didn't seem to mind me spending so much time with her uncle.

"Is it weird, calling him your uncle?" I asked one day as she was picking me up from work. "I mean, he's only like three years older than you right?" As far as I knew anyways. She could very well be hundreds of years old than he was, but there was no way for me to find out. But Alice told me she was nineteen, and that her uncle was twenty-two.

"A little. I've always seen him as more of a brother. Our family is so weird though, you kind of just learn to roll with it."

Yeah, a bet weird was an understatement. "So I finished the flooring in my room yesterday, wanna come with while I go pick out some furniture tomorrow?"

"Of course, I know the perfect place to go."

It was weird how comfortable I was in his house. We had hung out for a little while at my place before I dropped him off at work. The floor in my room looked perfect, and we had spent the last hour and a half painting the trim and listening to the radio. The one station I got in town was entertaining to listen to, the songs went from classic rock, to biblical then hip hop, and country and classical. You just never knew what you were going to get and the drastic changes were really funny sometimes.

He had started giving me a couple piano lessons, and after putting on a comfy pair of pyjama pants and a comfortable t-shirt I settled on the smooth bench and practiced the notes that I knew. I was always inspired by the memories of the art he was able to create on this piano. Before I closed the cover over the keys, I smiled as I played chopsticks. Alice had taught me that one. I fell asleep on his couch reading one of his poetry books.

* * *

After picking him up at work the next day, he dropped me off over at my place. I had my packed bag in the back seat.

"You know you can stay at my place longer if you want. I don't mind at all, the company's nice."

"Thanks William, but I'll be fine." I rested a gentle hand on his arm. His face looked worried, and instead of feeling annoyed I was touched. I gave him a reassuring smile. "Thank you so much for having me so long, and for all of your help. I'm really grateful."

He gave me a sad smile. "We still on for piano lessons?"

"Of course, what days do you have off this week?"

"I'm off tomorrow, can I give you a call?"

"Sure. Oh!" I dug into my pocket for his key, and handed it to him. "You'll probably need this." He shook his head.

"I have another copy on me, hold onto it. Just in case."

I looked at him in surprise. "William, I really couldn't-"

"Please? It will make me feel better knowing that you have somewhere else to go if you don't feel safe. It'll also make it easier to not sneak by in the woods to check on you," he said teasingly with his crooked smile.

"Thank you William." I opened up my door, and he handed me my bag. "Bye." I walked up the steps of my front porch as he pulled away. He hesitated a little longer than usual before driving off. I barely had enough time to put my things away before Alice came in. I leaned out of my bedroom door to smile at her, and waved her over. She inspected my outfit carefully, and gave me her nod of approval.

"So, I'm going to put a bed here, then a night stand on that side. And I want a dresser for here. I also need curtains, bed sheet sets and a comforter."

"Excellent," she said, and I saw her go deep into thought for a short moment. "Okay, we'll definitely need to take the truck. I really like how this room turned out by the way, the lavender with the pale wood. Very nice."

"Thank you, I really like it too." It reminded me of the color of clouds at sunset over a sandy beach.

We drove all the way down to Fredericton to go to her recommended store. I trusted her confidence that I would find everything that I wanted there. She knew where she was going so I let her drive, and enjoyed the scenery on the cloudy day. The weather was starting to warm up, and all the snow was almost gone. I couldn't wait for the green to come back, I missed it so much.

It was a super busy afternoon, even though we only went to two different stores. First we went to this giant furniture outlet store. I got a beautiful bedroom set, and I even picked up a couch and chair that I fell in love with, along with a coffee table. The later wouldn't be dropped off until the end of the week, but they had my bedroom things in stock and loaded them into my truck and tied them down for us. I'm pretty sure they would have jumped off the roof if Alice asked them to.

Next we went to an outlet store, where I was able to pick some nice sheet sets, some pillows and throws, a comforter and some curtains. By the time we got home and carried in all of the boxes and my mattress, it was almost seven and my stomach was growling. Alice had to head home, she was supposed to help Esme with something, but I assured her that I would be fine assembling my things myself. After eating almost an entire box of macaroni and cheese I got back to work. It took a couple of hours, but before my watch struck midnight I had assembled my bed frame, my night stand and my dresser. I had to take a shower to keep myself up long enough to put a set of sheets on my bed, but once I did I practically collapsed onto the comfy mattress, and slept like the dead.

* * *

I barely recognized where I was when I woke up. The room was completely different furnished. It felt nice to wake up, use my own bathroom, and go back into my beautiful room and make my bed. After that was done, I set up my curtains and then put my clothes away in my dresser. I tucked away my old suitcase of clothes in the corner of my closet. I put my important things inside my night stand, I had chosen it because it had a locking drawer, my pictures and Jacob's tin, my mother's jewelry and my envelope of paper work, and tucked the key in between my mattress and box spring. After having an early lunch, I went back to working on the floors in my living room until William called.

Somehow, life just managed to go on. My heart ache never really went away, but I was starting to get used to living with it.

**Thanks for reading!**


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Surprise

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. Caution: ****May contain mature language and subject matter.**

_Sorry, I try not to clutter this story with author's notes, but this chapter quickly exploded into over twenty-thousand words. I had thought about separating it into two chapters, but I really wanted to keep the materials together. So yeah, long chapter, carry on! Please review if you can!_

**Chapter Fifteen :: Surprise**

My busy schedule made time seem to fly by. There were too many yet not enough minutes in the day. In no time at all it seemed summer was upon us. Luckily it was warm enough to work outside now that I had finished my indoor projects.

The lawn had been nothing but weeds, and I had gotten blisters on my hands from tearing it all up. My new grass was coming in nicely though, and had that almost fluorescent glow of new life to it. The flower beds had needed a lot of work, there had been more weeds that actual flowers in them, so I had completely torn those up too and was planting a whole bunch of new things in there. I dashed back and forth between my truck bed and the flower beds, slowly transferring everything that I had picked up at the nursery and seeing how quickly I would be able to do it all. It started raining around noon but the cool rain was a nice change from the thick humidity, so I didn't let it stop me.

My weird sixth sense had only seemed to get stronger the more I used it. I could always tell when someone got close to me. It was annoying when I went grocery shopping or when I was in other crowded places, but I always paid close attention when someone crossed onto my property. I felt someone enter my front yard, and un-clipped my Smith and Wesson pistol from its holster on my hip, switching off the safety.

"Don't shoot, I come in peace," William said, holding his hands in the air and smiling as he walked around the side of my house. He was carrying a briefcase over his head like an umbrella. I couldn't really tell the difference between a vampire and human when I was just going off of that feeling.

"Oh, hey William," I gave him a small smile while switching the safety back on and clipping the band shut over it again. "I only have one left, just give me a second." I ran back over to my truck and grabbed my last Hosta, cutting open the plastic container and breaking up the roots before setting it in the hole I had made for it. He waited patiently as I packed in the dirt around it, and brushed away the wet hair sticking to my face with the back of my arm.

"Isabelle, you are soaking wet," he pointed out unnecessarily. I could feel my muddy clothes sticking to me, and I hated the tight feeling. It made me feel like someone would be able to see the rise of my scar against the clinging material, and I invited him inside while I went to get changed quickly. He made himself comfortable on my big red sectional couch while I went into my room to get changed. I toweled off in my bathroom, then put on a clean pair of shorts and a t-shirt before slipping my ring back onto my finger as I walked over to him with a tall glass of ice water. I hadn't wanted to risk getting it covered in mud or losing it in the dirt somehow. I sat down and cringed when I took a closer look at my legs. I should have put on a pair of jeans, my legs were covered in dark purple bruises. Just the usual ones from banging into things. I caught him eyeing them with a pained expression, and folded them underneath me to put them out of his view. I shifted in my seat, trying to make myself comfortable. My back was a little sore from carrying plants and digging holes all day.

"You never stop moving, do you? I don't think I've ever just seen you sit down and relax before."

"Isn't that what we're doing now?" I asked with a smile.

"Nope, this doesn't count. You're probably just sitting here to be polite anyways." He was right, I wanted to go back outside and play in my dirt. Plus I still needed to fill the bird feeders and I would have to wait until it was dry out to stain the patio, but I could replace the wobbly railing for now… "See? I can see your head is still spinning a mile a minute. When was the last time you just did something for fun?"

"I do find this sort of thing fun," I said defensively, and he raised an eyebrow at me. "What? Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I have to go shopping or bake cookies every weekend. I'd much rather spend my time in my back yard or at the firing range or hiking," I told him angrily.

He held up his hands apologetically, but it always irritated me how my anger would make him smile. Like he thought it was cute. I huffed, and turned on the TV. I'd only gotten it to complete the room, but I didn't mind watching the weather network. Damn, rain all week. I was never going to finish my patio. At least my grass would be happy though.

"Do you believe in God?" He asked randomly. I was used to these sorts of questions from him though, long since abandoning trying to make sense of his scattered train of thought.

"I believe in the possibility of a higher power, but I don't believe in the Catholic version of God. Like in the bible. There are just too many controversies, I think it was used as more of a tool of oppression and control than anything. There's no way to prove it one way or the other, and I think it's an unfortunate waste of the short amount of time we have on this planet to fight over or worry about it."

He nodded in understanding, but didn't say anything. He looked to be having some sort of internal debate with that serious expression on his face and I worried for a moment. Had I somehow managed to offend this vampire's religious beliefs? I tried not to laugh at the idea. "I'm sorry if I offended you, I didn't mean to."

"Oh you didn't, I also agree with you, but it's hard to think a certain way sometimes when you've been forced to believe something else for so long. Do you think there is a heaven or a hell?"

I gave him a gentle smile, it was obvious that this was important to him. "I believe that we create our own realities. I like to think that there is something more of a limbo… where our loved ones can wait to see us again, and then maybe choose to be reincarnated. I really like the idea of reincarnation, and I believe that karma would really affect it. Those who do good with their lives will be given more happiness in their next ones, where people who create evil will not be so lucky."

"And what do you consider evil?" Ah, this is what he was working to. I think he really wanted to know if I would consider his kind evil, consider _him_ evil.

My hatred for his kind and my want for revenge never lessened in the slightest. It had been almost a year since Jacob and Charlie had been taken away from me, and the urge to avenge them had only grown stronger. I knew that I would have to be patient for that though.

But the Cullens, and William, I didn't group them with the rest of their kind. They were an exception, nothing like Elijah, and I considered my words carefully.

"Evil is… lacking in compassion. Having no consideration or respect for life. I think as long as you are capable of loving someone without malice, you can't truly be evil." And I knew for certain that he loved his family. Alice, Esme, all of them were filled with so much love for each other. I knew Elijah or any vampire like him would not be capable of that sort of love. Truly, they cared about nothing but their own desires. My words seemed to have the desired impact on William, and he gave me a genuinely relieved smile. I looked back at the TV, and realized that it was a quarter to eight. "Aren't you working tonight?"

He cursed under his breath before saying goodbye and hurrying out the door. I got up and made myself some dinner.

As I was sitting on my couch picking at my pasta, I noticed William's briefcase resting on the rug underneath my coffee table. He must have forgotten it, which was really uncharacteristic of him. Worried that he might need it for work, I cleaned up my mess then hopped into my truck, setting it on the seat beside me.

It was only a fifteen minute drive, and I tried to protect the soft leather of the case from the rain with my body as I jogged from my truck to the main entrance of the Hospital. The rain just seemed to be coming down harder and harder. Leaving a trail of puddles behind me, I took the familiar elevator up to the second floor and walked down the hall to his office. The door was opened a crack, so I just pushed it open and walked in.

"Hey William, you forgot your-" I was surprised by the scene in front of me. He was leaning with his back against the wall, and there was a tall, beautiful nurse with thick red hair leaning against him with her hands on his chest. It was obvious that I had just interrupted, and my face flushed red. "Sorry!" I said with a small smile, before dropping the briefcase and closing the door quickly. Completely embarrassed, I ran back to the elevator, pressing the button to close the door as soon as I was inside_. I should have knocked_, I thought with a mental laugh and shook my head.

I walked outside into the rain again, and it was only seconds before I heard him calling my name. He quickly caught up to me as I reached my truck. "Isabelle, I'm sorry, that wasn't what it looked like at all. There's nothing-"

"It's okay William, you don't have to explain anything to me. Your personal life is your own business. Sorry for interrupting though," I told him with an embarrassed smile.

I was quickly getting soaked again as I tried to decipher his expression. He looked… worried almost? I saw the expression change to a more determined one. "Isabelle, there is nothing going on between her and I, or with anyone else for that matter. There's only one woman I care about." He took a step closer, and I took a moment too long to figure out what he meant. Before I could say anything, he leaned forward quickly, taking my face in both of his hands and kissing me.

I was filled with that electric current feeling that I had whenever he touched me. It felt wrong though. Jacob had kissed me like this so many times, but these weren't his warm, soft lips. These lips were hard as stone and cold as ice. I felt the tears pool in my eyes immediately, and he slowly pulled away when I shoved as hard as I could against his chest. He had the happiest smile on his face, until he took in my horrified expression.

He didn't move as I struck out and slapped him across the face. I know it hurt me more than him, but I didn't care. He was rooted, frozen in place as I jumped into my truck, slammed the door and took off as quickly as it would allow me.

I got home quickly, but heard his car pulled up as soon as I made it onto my porch. I didn't look at him.

"Isabelle! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." I slammed my front door shut, and heard him running across the gravel. "Please! Let's talk about this."

"Go away William!" I shouted from inside. The tears were still flowing down my face. _I'm sorry Jacob, I didn't want to I swear, it didn't mean anything…_ He didn't listen to me, and was still calling me from my drive way. Enraged, I grabbed my pistol and ran to my front door.

He was staring at me with his own horrified look once I opened the door, standing at the bottom of my stairs. "Leave. Now," I warned in a dark voice.

"Please, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

"No, you shouldn't have, now get off of my property." I raised the gun, switching off the safety and pointing it at him. I didn't know if a gun could hurt a vampire or not, but I was very open to finding out. He must have thought I was bluffing, because he took one step up onto my stairs. Furious, I expertly pointed my pistol at the ground and blew a hole in my step one inch away from his foot, and he jumped backwards. "I didn't hit you on purpose, but if you don't leave now I guarantee I won't miss."

He gave me one long, pained look, but once I cocked another bullet into the barrel, he walked over to his car and drove away. Shaking, I went inside, stripped off my wet clothes and cried underneath the warm stream of water in my shower. I could still feel the electric tingle of his lips against mine.

* * *

_I was sitting on the beach with Jacob, his warm arms wrapped around me tightly as we watched the waves crash against the shore. I knew it wasn't real, but these were the happiest moments of my life now. These fleeting memories that my subconscious tortured me with in my dreams._

"_I miss you so much Jacob. I don't ever want to wake up again."_

"_I know babe. But you're going to have to. You need to keep living your life."_

"_It's not much of a life without you."_

_He leaned forward and kissed me gently, and I held onto him tightly. "It's because you're not really living. You're just pretending, going through the motions without actually feeling them."_

"_I don't know what else to do Jake. I'm sorry, I'm trying. I really am."_

"_I know you are Belle, but life isn't life without love."_

_I held onto him even tighter, as tightly as I possibly could, but I could barely feel him now. _No, I don't want to wake up, just a little bit longer, please…_ "You took my love with you when you left me in Emily's door way, and you know it."_

"_You can love again Belle. It's okay to be happy. Please, be happy, please. I can't keep watching you suffer like this…"_

I opened my eyes, and felt the familiar pain of not having him there beside me. My mind fought with itself, wanting to wish that I was actually talking to him somehow, but I was convinced it was something I had made up. I looked over and saw my pistol sitting on my nightstand, and couldn't really bring myself to feel guilty for my reaction last night.

I cared about William, I did, he was a good friend, but what he did... I wasn't ready for that, I don't I would ever be ready for something like that again, and it wasn't right for him to surprise me like that. Even if he didn't know who Jacob was, he knew that I still loved him. What he did hadn't been fair. He was thinking of himself, not of me.

But we had become such close friends, and when I thought of ending that friendship it made me sad. I had never met someone who I had so many common interests with. He had done so much to help me, and I spent almost as much time with him as I did with Alice. All of our late nights of playing chess, our piano lessons or just talking about random interesting articles that I would find while thumbing through books at work.

No, I didn't want to stop being his friend. He had apologized, many times actually, and I knew that he felt bad about what he had done.

With a sigh, I made myself get out of bed. My hair looked absolutely ridiculous, so I just put it into a messy bun before sliding on a pair of jeans and throwing on a random shirt. I grabbed my purse then drove over to his house, making it there a couple minutes before his night shift had even ended. I used the half-hour wait to carefully choose my words.

He seemed genuinely surprised to find me there waiting for him, and approached me cautiously. He opened his mouth to say something, but I held up my hand to signal for him to be quiet.

"First, I'm sorry for shooting at you. That may have been a bit of an over-reaction. I'm mad at what you did, and thought it was very selfish of you to do it. But I value our friendship, and am willing to forgive you and put last night behind us if you promise not to do anything like that without my permission again." I hadn't meant to add in that part- "without my permission-"but it just came out. He seemed to catch onto that too, but I decided that it didn't matter. The message was still the same.

"I promise." His voice was completely sincere, that pained and ashamed look clear in his eyes.

"Okay then. I'll see you on Tuesday for our piano lesson." I walked past him, got in my truck, and drove away. I felt his eyes watching me the entire time, but I still needed a bit of time to cool off. I spent most of the afternoon at the firing range, and took out most of my anger on the paper targets.

* * *

The summer came and passed too quickly. I had painted the outside of my house, a beautiful bright red with white trim. I spent a lot of time hiking, there were lots of trails around where I lived. I couldn't carry a canoe by myself, but I could manage a kayak and spent a lot of time on the water. I tried camping once, but it was too quiet and still sitting in the woods in front of a fire by myself. I had even gone bungee jumping, sanded and stained my front and back patios, and countless other small things on my lists in my notebook. They weren't very satisfying though, doing all of them alone. I was happier spending time with Alice and my other vampire friends. Emmett and Esme had even helped me build a garage, and I had my gravel driveway paved.

Rose had helped me pick up the proper materials to reupholster the inside of my truck, and the pretty black leather had inspired me to work on the body. As I sat in my pretty new garage stripping the paint off of my truck, my mind once again drifted to William.

Ever since that kiss, the little things he did seemed to have more meaning. The way he always rushed to open doors for me, the way he paid such close attention to my words, the way I would catch him watching me with an almost dazed, happy smile sometimes. I don't know how I hadn't noticed it before, but it was obvious now that he cared about me.

And if I was being honest with myself, I knew that a part of me cared about him too. It made it hard to be around him sometimes, because those thoughts were always followed by guilt. I felt like I was betraying Jacob even thinking about it. I missed William when I wasn't with him though, and when I was in his company it was a little easier to be distracted from those sad emotions. He had never kissed me again after that one time, although I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to. I tried to ignore the similar thoughts that I had, the strange exciting feeling of that electricity that had flowed between us. I felt it every time we accidently touched, or reached for something at the same time, or when he handed me something and his fingers lightly brushed mine. He kept his promise though, and never forced himself like that again.

I had planned on completely ignoring my birthday this year, I didn't really see the point in celebrating it. The fact that I was nineteen didn't mean much to me. I had spent the morning cleaning my house, and was playing with the thought of going to a bar and having a drink for the first time since I was now the legal age here. I took a long shower, blow-dried my hair, carefully making it straight, soft and shiny, and even put on the pretty lavender dress I had picked up with Alice a few weeks ago. It had short sleeves, with a wide neck and went down to my knees. I grabbed my purse, slipped on some black flats, and paused with my hand on the door knob.

The memory of David popped into my mind, slipping those drugs into my drink the moment I had left it unattended. With a sigh, I kicked my shoes back off and dropped down on my couch. No, there was no way I could bring myself to go to a bar alone; it just seemed to be asking for trouble.

I was silently staring at my ceiling for less than a minute before my phone rang. I hopped up excitedly, and ran over to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hey Isabelle! What are you up to?"

"Absolutely nothing Alice. Why? What's up?"

"Nothing really, I was thinking of re-organizing my closet and thought I'd see if you were free to help?"

"Sure, I can head over in a couple minutes if you want?"

"That would be great! See you soon!" She hung up, and I debated getting changed into something more casual. I decided not to, Alice would be happy to see me wearing this. I slid my shoes back on and hopped into my truck. The bright candy-apple red was gorgeous, and my pretty classical truck always seemed to draw a few looks as I drove through town.

I hadn't been down to her house in a few weeks, and wondered if they had recently held a garden party. The trees down their long drive were wrapped in small, twinkling white lights making it easier to spot their hidden pathway. They were really pretty, standing out brilliantly as the sun had started to go down. I wondered why they still had them lit up, it seemed like a bit of a waste of electricity.

When I pulled up to the front of their house and parked, I noticed that their front porch was decorated in much the same way, but there were beautiful bunches of flowers in vases going up the stairs. It must have been a beautiful party, and I wondered why they hadn't mentioned it to me. Maybe it was just a vampire thing, no humans allowed…

The front door was left open, so I just walked inside. I had never seen their house so dark before, it was odd and a little creepy. I closed the door behind me. "Hello? Alice?" I asked cautiously.

All of the light's flashed on at once, and I screamed as all seven of them shouted out "Surprise!" I backed up against the door in fear, taking in my surroundings. The entire living room was covered in balloons, streamers and flowers, their big coffee table taken over by a giant cake and a mountain of presents. I sighed, a bit relieved that I wasn't being attacked, and laughed.

"Seriously? You guys scared me half to death," I said with a shaky voice. Alice ran over to give me a hug, pulling me into the living room. "How did you guys know?"

"I'm your Doctor, of course I know when your birthday is," Carlisle said teasingly.

"This is so beautiful, you guys shouldn't have gone through all of this trouble. I don't even celebrate my birthday."

"You don't celebrate your birthday?" Esme asked, sounding shocked.

I gave her a small smile. "No, haven't since I was maybe seven." They looked worried, and I felt so rude. "This is beautiful though, really. Thank you so much." I tried to give them a happy smile, and they all seemed to relax slightly. I caught a view of William, and he was wearing a white dress shirt and black slacks. It was very handsome. He gave me a small smile.

"Enough talk! Presents!" Alice demanded, and sat me down on their big white couch. Rosalie handed me the biggest box first, from her and Emmett, who I realized was no longer in the room. I picked it up, shaking it a little. It felt really light, and I opened it up to find an empty box. I smiled up at Rose.

"Thanks Rose, I love it." I said while laughing. She joined me.

"It's a new sound system for your truck. Emmett's installing it now so you can't return it."

I smiled happily, I had been wanting a new one for the longest time and just hadn't had the time to pick one up. It was too much, but I knew that their seemingly endless supply of money meant nothing to them so I tried to be as polite as possible. "Thanks Emmett!" I shouted loudly, and could hear his faint laughter coming from outside. Alice and Jasper had gotten me my own beautiful chess set, very similar to Jasper's but the pieces were made of white marble and amethyst. I could barely lift it because it was so heavy, but I loved it. They were all very aware of what my favourite colour was. William's gift was my favourite though; he had made me a CD recording of his music, my favourite songs that he had played for me on his piano.

I was just opening the silver wrapping on Esme and Carlisle's gift when I flinched back, having sliced my index finger on the paper. A tiny drop of blood welled up on the cut, and my instincts went on high alert. My mind seemed to work fast as everything went into slow motion around me. Jasper's eyes had quickly turned from gold to black, and he crouched before lunging towards me. I should have been afraid, but I wasn't. I braced myself determinedly, instinctively throwing my strength around me like an invisible shield.

The other's lunged to grab him, William running towards me to protect me. Both him and Jasper seemed to collide with an invisible wall, and were thrown back hard. William seemed to right himself, gouging a hole into the solid oak floors, but Jasper hadn't and left an impression of himself in Esme's perfect white wall before falling to the ground. The force of it seemed to clear Jasper's mind, and everyone in the room looked at me in disbelief and shock. All frozen in place, statues with carved expressions of horror. I pulled off my scarf, wrapping it around my finger tightly as I ran over to Jasper's side.

"I am so sorry Jasper, are you hurt? I swear I didn't mean to do that." My hands fluttered around him uselessly, finding that he was of course without a scratch. He didn't answer, and I looked at William beside him. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry." William nodded, and I looked back to Jasper.

"I'm so sorry Isabelle," he whispered, his voice filled with shame. It was obvious that he wasn't breathing.

"It's okay Jasper, this wasn't your fault. I should have been more careful." I looked at all of the silent faces watching me. They knew that I couldn't have missed their inhuman speeds, the way that they had moved. They all looked horrified. "Should I, would you guys be more comfortable if I left?"

William was by my side in a second, not hiding his speed as he pulled me into a hug. I knew he needed the reassurance that I was okay, so I didn't push him away.

"I'm sorry Isabelle," he leaned away, looking deep into my eyes. He was looking for something in my face, but I don't think he found it. He looked at Jasper for a moment, who I saw shrug, and then back at me. "Aren't you… scared?"

"No," I said, almost offended. He looked at me curiously.

"You're probably wondering about… There's something we need to tell you. About us."

No one went to stop him, and I could see that they didn't want to. They were waiting expectantly, watching us. Were they really going to admit their secret to me? William's face looked tortured as he tried to find the words. There was no excuse they could give me, and I decided that I would just make it easier on him. He would say it either way, there was nothing I could do to avoid it.

"I know already. It's okay." I didn't think their faces could have gotten more surprised, but they did. William just shook his head.

"Whatever you're thinking, it's not-"

"I know that you're all vampires."

You could have heard a pin drop in the room. None of them blinked, or even bothered to imitate breathing. I stood up, brushing off my dress, and William followed me. "How long have you known?"

I looked over at Carlisle and Alice, giving them a small smile. "Since the first moment I woke up in the hospital, and saw you two in my room."

"How is that possible?" Carlisle whispered.

I was the one then who went quiet. Now that they knew that I knew, it probably wouldn't take them long to figure out how. I would have to take a leap of faith, and believe that these kind vampires wouldn't hurt my pack. I was part of that pack, spirit wife of the Alpha, it couldn't have been a breach in the treaty for me to know. I looked down at my ring, and spun in around my finger once. "My fiancé, he told me the stories of the infamous Cullens, the vampires with the yellow eyes that didn't feed on humans. Despite what you were, even my pack couldn't truly hate you. Not after you saved Harry." I looked over at William again, who was watching me in disbelief. "My fiancé, my spirit husband… His name was Jacob Black. Alpha of the Quileute tribe. I was his imprint."

"That's impossible," William whispered.

"Impossible is a strange word to hear coming from a vampire," I told him with a small smile, trying to lighten my own mood. It didn't work. I didn't want to talk about this.

"No, I mean that it's impossible because you said that he was dead, and you can't just..."

"He is dead," I whispered painfully. Alice came over, wrapping her arm around me and leading me back to sit down on the couch. I hadn't realized that I had started to shake until Esme handed me a glass of water.

"How?"

"The same way as my father, killed by a vampire." I said darkly. My shaking was more out of anger now. I had never been able to say those words aloud before.

"How did you know?" William asked, I didn't understand the hurt look in his eyes as he asked me. He seemed… afraid?

"Because I was there. Charlie tried to scare him away, but he took his gun before he could even move, and shot him point blank in the head right beside me. I had to tell the cops that it was a home invasion, and… Jacob… He was able to chase him away from me, but he got away. He came back for me the next day and… He… Jacob died saving my life again," my voice caught on a sob, and I couldn't stop the tears from flowing freely. The words had been trapped inside me for thirteen months, it was painful to speak them for the first time. Alice held me as I cried, stroking my hair soothingly and rubbing my back.

"I'm so sorry Isabelle, we had no idea," she whispered gently.

"It's not your fault," I choked out. "I want you to know that I don't look at you guys like that monster. You're nothing like him, and I don't hold the actions of his… kind against you." She nodded in understanding, and continued to hold me while I soaked her shirt. Eventually my tears started to slow, and as my mind began to clear I remembered something important. The question I had been waiting almost a year to ask them.

Alice let me go as I sat up straight, and I furiously swiped away the tears on my face. I saw Jasper flinch from my anger, but didn't bother to try and hide it. I looked at Carlisle, their obvious leader.

"What is a Volturi?"

* * *

_She had him, and she knew it_. He didn't have more than five moves left, and he was able to feel her flutter of happiness. Not that anyone would have been able to tell, as always she wore her polite mask of neutrality while she nibbled on one of the cookies that Esme had baked earlier today.

_I don't know how she's doing it, but she's cheating somehow_, Jasper thought for a moment. One quick peek at her kind, gentle face though threw that thought out of his mind. _No, she's too much above that sort of thing._ He looked at me, hoping for an explanation, but I just shrugged. I was just as baffled as him and everyone else.

It was curious how well she fit into our little family, bringing something valuable into each one of our lives, and she didn't even know it. Alice completely adored her, she had always been a generally happy person but Isabelle had given her something she hadn't even known that she wanted so badly. A real friend, a best friend. They were almost inseparable, and I'd never seen someone put up with her as well as she did. She was the politest, most patient and caring person that I'd ever met, and I had known Esme for almost a century. She hung out with Alice of her own free will, not because they were family and lived together. Whenever she wanted to go shopping or wanted someone's opinion on something, she'd always called Alice, even knowing what she was getting herself into.

Esme had immediately started considering her one of her daughters in her mind, ever since Isabelle had first opened up to her in the Hospital. She loved how artistic she was, and having someone to share her passion of renovations with. It had thrilled her that Isabelle had let her help her while she pretty much rebuilt her home, and seemed to value her opinion so much. And she loved how happy she made Alice… and me. It was impossible to keep secrets in our family, and they had quickly discovered my feelings for her. Esme was thrilled by the idea that I had finally found love, but was sad for me and worried about Isabelle at the same time. When they found out that she had caught me checking up on her home, and firmly told me to stop doing so, they had found it more funny than odd. We had no idea how she did it, her weird sixth sense of knowing when someone was close to her, how she kept me out of her mind, how she had caught on to Jasper's gift so easily or even why Alice had so much trouble seeing her. She also gave Esme the opportunity to do so many things that she couldn't so with us, her other adopted children. Being able to cook for her and offer her help with things she couldn't do on her own, being a shoulder to cry on, and watching her grow. She was human, and she changed a little every day. The thought that we'd have no choice but to leave her in a couple years, knowing that someday she would grow older than us and eventually fade away from this earth was constantly and painfully weighing on all of our minds.

Jasper loved having her near. It was hard for him, she hid well the emotional pain that was always raging inside of her, but he admired her strength in keeping such a strong exterior. Her other feelings were so pure though, how she was able to so truly care about every person she met, how she was always so eager to help anyone or make someone else happy, even at her own expense. And as much as it frustrated him, he loved having a worthy adversary at his beloved game. Alice and I didn't count, apparently we were cheaters.

Emmett liked her because he thought she was tough. She never took any shit from him, standing her ground and telling him straight off when he was pissing her off. She took all of his teasing and jabbing with a smile, never getting flustered and always having some sort of witty comeback. He thought she put a bit of needed excitement and change in our lives.

Carlisle's feelings for her were one of the strongest though. He had cared for her and nursed her back to health, so he had had the most first-hand experience with her in the beginning. At first it had just been concern, but like Esme he had quickly grown to love her and see her as one of his children. He admired her determination and hard efforts in her rehabilitation, her independence, and how much joy she brought to his wife and the rest of us.

Rose was the most surprising though. She admired Isabelle in many ways. At first she had just pitied the girl, having found out about the loss of her child and then the rest of her family. She admired how hard she tried to make the most out of her life. How strong she always seemed when we knew what she was like beneath her composed mask. Despite what she had gone through, she kept going on and didn't take what she had for granted. She was confident and held her head high, and she liked how she didn't take any shit from Emmett, me, or anyone else for that matter.

"Checkmate," she said sweetly. She never gloated, but just went to setting the board back to its original state. Jasper wasn't strong enough to cover his sigh of irritation, and Emmett laughed.

"I'm going to drive her home," I whispered to Alice, too low for Isabelle to hear. This was the only problem that Alice had. She was happy that I had found someone that I cared about like she did with Jasper, I was her closest sibling and she couldn't have been happier that I had fallen for her best friend, but she was irritated with having to share her. I couldn't hold it against her, I was constantly jealous of how Isabelle was more comfortable around her and how Alice was able to make her smile the most.

_No, she'll be happier if I drive her_, she told me knowingly, showing me the murky flashes of how she would just silently sit in the car looking out the window. I should have taken my Vanquish instead of running over today, she loved it too much to ever refuse a drive in it.

"I should get home, I have to work tomorrow," she said shyly. I felt her guilt through Jasper, she hated to ask for anything, even something as little as a ride home while we were fighting over who would get to be the lucky one to drive her.

"Not a problem. I'll be back in a bit Mom, just dropping off Isabelle," Alice called. Esme rushed over, sad that she was leaving. It was weird being so close with someone who actually slept at night. She pulled Isabelle into a tight hug.

"Have a good night sweetie, come back and visit soon okay?"

"Of course, thank you again for the cookies. They were delicious as always." How was she able to smile like that when it felt like she wanted to cry?

"Can you drop me off too on the way?" I asked with a smile.

_Ass._ "Sure, not a problem."

Alice talked excitedly on the drive, keeping to the limit just for an extra minute of her company. She was talking about some sort of stitching type that she enjoyed, and Isabelle nodded with a smile while listening intently. I never trusted her facial expressions though, I wish Jasper had come with us. Her scent was so strong in the confinement of the car, but I gladly took the flames tearing at the inside of my throat to be able to sit so close to her. It was torture not being able to check up on her at night without her knowing, without knowing that she was safe and protected.

"So, anything that you want to do this weekend?"

"Sorry, I'm not going to be able to hang out this weekend, I have a few personal things that I need to take care of."

Alice tried to look ahead to see if she could catch any of the rare flickering pictures that she sometimes had of her. Nothing. "That's okay, will you call me when you're free again?"

"Of course," she said with her polite smile. Alice wasn't the only one madly curious at what she would be up to.

* * *

Having a whole weekend without being able to see her, my entire family decided to go hunting a bit further away than usual. It wasn't often that we all got to go together like this anymore, so we saw no need to bring our phones. It made me uneasy knowing that we weren't close by in case she needed one of us, but even though Esme was too kind to ask, I knew that it meant a lot to her to have all of us together like this.

I was draining a deer close to Alice when it happened. She couldn't see Isabelle, but she could see _him_. The lousy excuse of a man whose vile mind I tried to avoid. _"Oh, umm… would you like to come in for a glass of water or something?" _She asked him, trying to be polite as always.

"NO!" Alice yelled, dropping her deer. My enraged snarl echoed loudly through the woods as we both took off back in the direction of home, our family quick on our tails.

"Alice? William? What's wrong?" Carlisle asked worriedly.

"Is it Isabelle?" Esme asked, terrified. I was too angry to answer, why had we gone so far? Why hadn't we at least taken our phones to call and tell her not to let him inside?

"David decided to pay her a visit," Alice said, her voice an angry hiss. Rosalie growled angrily, echoed quickly by the others.

I watched what was happening to her in Alice's mind seconds before they transpired as we shot through the forests towards her. He was perfectly composed as he talked to her calmly, waiting for her to get comfortable. She excused herself to use the washroom, and he quickly dropped the liquid into her juice and swished it around. She came back, smiling as they spoke, and he waited expectantly while she drank. After a couple minutes, her eye lids started to droop, and her speaking became difficult. The parasite actually laughed as she tumbled to the floor, and locked the front door to make sure he wouldn't be disturbed. He watched her with an amused smile, towering over her tiny form while she tried to move, to push herself up. I saw the fear in her eyes, and recognition? She knew what was going to happen to her, and pain shot through my heart at the realization that she was familiar with the disgusting look on his face. He leaned over, easily picking her up, and she somehow managed to cry out. The sound of the fear in her voice, something completely unheard of in her, forced another snarl to escape my throat. She tried to hit and kick at him, but her fighting was ineffective against him. He carried her over to her bedroom, dropping her onto her air mattress. He watched her happily as she tried to move, but her limbs quickly turned lifeless beside her. He lied to her, telling her she wouldn't remember a thing, before leaning over and pulling off her shirt. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she somehow gathered the energy to spit in his face. It was brave but foolish, and I cringed as he struck her across the face. His hand was so big against her small face, and her lip cracked and started to bleed. _We were so close_ _now, just a few more seconds_… He roughly started to pull off her shorts, and I burst through the door, shattering it into pieces. I had the satisfaction of seeing the fear in his face and I ran over to him, forcing my speed to something closer to human, and wrapped my hands around his throat, lifting him off of the floor. Alice ran over to Isabelle, wrapping a blanket around her nearly naked body and lifting her into her arms gently. I saw Isabelle look at me through Alice's eyes for one quick moment before she blacked out.

Those piercing green eyes were the only thing keeping me from snapping his neck. I couldn't be a monster if I was to ever succeed in winning her heart. With a frustrated moan, I struck him hard, knocking him out and dropping him heavily onto the unfinished floor. His nose and jaw were badly broken. Good. "Carlisle, Emmett… if you don't take this garbage out now I don't think I can avoid killing him."

"He'd deserve it," Rosalie hissed, Carlisle was holding her back.

"He does, but I don't think Isabelle would be able to forgive me for killing him."

"We'll make sure he never comes back, don't worry," Jasper said darkly. He grabbed the parasite's leg, and roughly dragged him out of the house, Emmett following behind him.

"Carlisle!" Alice cried. Isabelle was thrashing around violently in her arms. He rushed to her side, having her lay Isabelle down on the ground. She was having a seizure, and he turned her on to her side just before she threw up all over her floor. Esme started sobbing.

"It's a reaction to the drugs. The vomiting is good though, she's getting it out of her system." She went still, and Rose dashed forward to wrap the blanket around her securely again before pulling her into her arms. Her thoughts were chaotic, her own human memories beating away at her from the inside. "Her heart rate is too high, we need to get her to the house. I can give her something to stabilize her, then an IV to help flush whatever's left out of her system." He reached to take her, but Rose held onto her tightly.

"No, I have her." With a determined face, she sped out of the house with her, and we followed closely behind.

Rose put one of Emmett's t-shirts on her before she would let me in the room, and Carlisle set up the IV, injecting the medication into it. We all sat around her bed for hours, listening to her heart rate slowly return to normal. Rosalie sat on the bed beside her head, dabbing at her face with a cool wet cloth, while Alice sat on her other side, holding her hand. Emmett and Jasper came back eventually, Jasper had filled David with so much fear when he came to that he practically had a heart attack, and with what they had done to him afterwards, there was no way he'd ever come back into the country.

"She's going to wake up soon," Alice said quietly. "Two minutes."

"We should leave, she'd be horrified knowing that we all knew," Rose said knowingly. Alice nodded.

They all filed out, and she looked at me. "I know it's hard William, but I won't leave her side. She'll want to go home, why don't you go replace her front door while you wait?"

It wasn't nearly enough, but it was something. I nodded, and forced myself out of the room just as she began to stir. I remembered the one that she had admired when we took her paint shopping awhile back, the one with the floral design frosted into the glass, and picked up a strong lock at the same time.

They came back before I was finished installing it; I had just opened up the package of the lock. I stopped when they parked, and watched as Isabelle stepped out of Alice's car. I bit back my cry of rage as I looked at her face; she had tried to cover up the spreading bruise on the left side of her face, but my eye sight was too good. She looked at me, and her face immediately turned worried. "Sorry," she said quickly.

I ran to her side, worried and confused. "What are you apologizing for Isabelle? You didn't do anything wrong."

"You just… looked mad and-" I reached out, and delicately ran one of my cool fingers across the bruise on her face. After all of that, she was worried that I was mad at her for some reason? Ridiculous. "I'm not mad at you, I'm furious at what was done _to_ you," I was surprised and glad that she didn't pull away, her warm skin felt like silk under my fingertips.

"Thank you," she whispered. I could tell from the thickness of her voice that she was referring to last night. She remembered everything, up to the moment of seeing me before she passed out. I gave her a reassuring smile, and decided to test my luck, wrapping my arms around her gently and smiled as she hugged me back. She was so fragile, so soft and small in my arms. It was infuriating that someone could want to hurt someone so pure, so loving and gentle.

Too soon I had to let her go, and worried when she put on her usual, smiling mask. She thanked me happily for the door, and I was relieved that she liked it. Alice led her inside while I finished installing the lock, and I watched curiously as I finished while Isabelle walked into her room with a large kitchen knife. I dashed over to Alice's side while her back was turned, and we both watched in shock as she violently stabbed the air mattress, and watched it deflate with a blank expression. She crumpled it up, and stuffed it into a garbage bag before turning around and smiling sweetly at us, "Sorry about that, but I feel much better now."

I never knew what to expect with this woman, and I loved it.

Alice asked her if she wanted to go shopping, as she was now without a bed, but she understandably was not up to the task. She offered for her to stay with her, but her face paled and she shook her head. Maybe she just didn't want to be around all of them. "I have a spare room at my place if you want. I wouldn't mind at all."

My heart sunk as she was silent for a long minute, then I stared disbelievingly as she agreed. "Okay, thanks. I think I'm just going to hang out here for today and put down some flooring though."

"Want help?" I could barely contain my happiness.

"Sure."

Alice hovered around as I helped Isabelle start on the flooring in her bathroom. She was just as worried as I was about Isabelle's calm demeanor. After destroying her mattress she went to acting like it was just any ordinary day. After guaranteeing her that I would keep a close eye on her, she left to go finish her hunting trip with Jasper. I spent the afternoon in comfortable silence, enjoying watching Isabelle handle the nail gun with an amused smile when we finished the bathroom and started on her bedroom. Once it got late, she packed a small bag while I waited for her by the door, and asked me if I wanted her to follow me in her truck.

_No, I don't want to let you out of my sight for a second,_ "I have a few days off, I can just drop you off at work tomorrow." I didn't actually, but it would be more… human of me to call in sick for once. She didn't buy it, and let out a small laugh. I loved that sound, the most beautiful music I had ever heard.

"Since when do you take vacations?" She asked in a teasing voice. I just rolled my eyes instead of answering. I never lied to her if I was able to avoid it.

She went into her usual silence as we drove down to my small house. I spent most of my time with the others, but it could be a bit overwhelming living in a house with six mated vampires, especially when you were stuck listening to all of their private thoughts. It was nice having my own place to escape to when I needed it, and looked better for our cover story. I could see the lost look in her eyes in the reflection of her window, and I desperately wanted to know what was going on in her mind.

"What are you thinking?" She seemed surprised by my sudden question, like she had forgotten I was in the car with her.

"That's not the first time you've asked me that question," she said casually.

"This isn't the first time you've avoided answering it either," I tried to give her a comforting smile. "So?"

She was thoughtful for a moment, looking back out into the darkness as she answered. "If it hadn't been for the accident, I would probably be having my baby soon."

So that's why she had wanted to be alone this weekend, I felt horrible for not paying attention to the date. "I'm really sorry Isabelle." The words were useless ones, I wish that there was something I could do for her. The thought of her being with another man made me extremely jealous, but I knew that wasn't fair of me. It was obvious that she had completely loved him, and still did.

"It's okay." I didn't know what else I could say, so we drove in silence for the rest of the way.

I wanted her to be comfortable in my home, and knowing that she hadn't eaten yet today, I thought it would be a good idea to offer her something. I had been with her all day also, so she knew I hadn't eaten either. Human women seemed to like salad, so I cut up some of the random vegetables that were in my fridge and mixed them together. I made myself a plate too, and had to fight the gagging reflex as I swallowed the vile stuff. She was smiling though, so she must have enjoyed it. She politely complemented me on my home, seemingly trying to make small talk.

I loved that she was talking to me. That I got to spend time alone with her when she wasn't otherwise trapped with me because she couldn't walk out of the hospital. I didn't have to share her with Alice. When she asked me if I would play something for her on my piano, I jumped at the chance to stop eating the pile of dirt that she considered food. She followed me over to the bench, and only hesitated a moment before sitting next to me on the small piece of stained oak.

It was like sitting next to an open flame, her body heat crashed against me in waves. I was happy to burn if it meant I could be next to her though. The heat made me feel so… alive.

I don't feel guilty in saying that I showed off a little, but I really wanted to impress her. I went into one of my more intricate pieces, and as usual got carried away and lost in the music. I opened my eyes when I finished to find her watching my face intently. I was once again lost in the depths of her piercing green and yellow eyes.

"That was amazing, I don't think I've ever heard that song before."

"Probably not. I wrote it," I told her proudly. She seemed to be getting tired, and a quick peek at her watch told me just how late it was. I showed her up to the completely never-been-used guest bedroom that I had upstairs.

"Thank you again William," she said as I walked back towards the door.

"No problem. Just let me know if you need anything."

"Not just for letting me crash here. Thanks for…"

I knew what she meant, and didn't want her to go through the pain of finishing the sentence. "I know Isabelle. Don't worry about it." I gave her a smile, and closed the door behind me as I went back downstairs.

It was so weird, having a human in my house for the first time. I tried not to listen as she walked around upstairs, going through her nightly rituals. I heard as she slid into her bed, but after a while when her breathing never changed it was apparent that she couldn't sleep.

I decided to go back to my piano, and started playing some gentle, quiet music. It wasn't long after that I heard her breathing pattern shift, and I smiled to myself as I listened to her steady breathing and heartbeat. I relaxed with a book on my couch, happily knowing that she was safe and protected on the floor above me.

* * *

It was the best week of my life. I had lived in the minds of my family for so long, seeing and feeling what their lives were like from their point of view. This was so completely different. Living in this small house with Isabelle and her silent mind was like nothing I'd ever experienced in my vampire existence. Getting to listen to her stumble around as she got ready in the morning, cringing every time I heard her bang into something and laughing while she cursed under her breath in frustration. Seeing her walk downstairs in the morning with her wet hair and flushed cheeks, her beauty never ceased to stun me.

I got a bit of a thrill from picking her up at work when she finished too, seeing her small smile as I held open the door for her. I would get her alone for a few minutes while driving to her house to assist her in her flooring project. I was painfully aware that I was helping her leave sooner, but I couldn't bring myself to turn down the time she allowed me to spend with her. Alice came by every night for a few hours, and would sit and chat happily with us while we worked.

She hadn't wanted to go over to the family's house all week. Rose was adamant in telling us to give Isabelle her space, and I could understand her reasoning and agreed with her after seeing it in her mind. She had been so humiliated, knowing that Carlisle, Esme and I knew what had happened to her. "Isabelle's a strong woman. She's going to be okay, just give her time," she told us. But everyone worried, and there was almost always one of them checking up on her from the woods outside the Library. If she noticed, she never said anything about it.

Those first few evenings were my favourite. She never seemed to want to stay in her house for more than a couple hours, and we would spend the rest of the night at mine. The more time we spent together, the more comfortable she seemed in talking to me, but it was very different from the way she hung out with Alice. I had spent a lot of time watching Alice's memories of the time she spent with her, Isabelle was quieter, but when she did talk it was more about things like fashion, her opinions on styles or furniture, mostly things that Alice was more interested in. With me, we talked about literature, philosophy and music. The depth of her questions, opinions and views always impressed me because she was so young. Aside from Carlisle, I'd never really met someone who shared my passion for learning like she did. She also seemed to share my love with my piano, and easily persuaded me into playing for her every night. She would watch my fingers with determined concentration, and I was surprised when she accepted my offer to give her lessons. She was usually the sort to try and refuse such assistance, but she seemed to be really excited by the idea. She was a very good student, and a quick learner.

The last three nights weren't so easy, having to go to work and leave her alone. I had debated on leaving my job, but felt guilty about the idea. They were so short staffed already, and apparently the three days that I'd been gone had been chaotic. Isabelle happily offered to drive me to and from work while she was still staying with me, though I'm not sure if it was because of me or because she wanted to drive my car. She was obviously smitten with her, and as much as I loved my car, I was debating on giving it to her just because I wanted to do anything in my power to make her happy. I wanted to be the one who made her smile more than anyone else.

Two years. We would have to leave her in two years. I would never really be able to leave her of course, but I couldn't damn her by forcing the truth about us onto her. It was too selfish. So I would make her as happy as I possibly could and make the most of these two years, and then I would spend the rest of my existence watching and protecting her from afar.

When she came to pick me up Saturday morning, her packed bag was in the back seat, giving my dead heart a painful twinge. She had me switch seats with her, and I drove her over to her place. We had just finished her bedroom last night. "You know you can stay at my place longer if you want. I don't mind at all, the company's nice."

"Thanks William, but I'll be fine." Would she? How was I supposed to last the night knowing that she was here by herself, when only a week ago… She gently rested her small hand on my arm, and gave me a reassuring smile. "Thank you so much for having me so long, and all of your help. I'm really grateful."

I tried to smile for her, but it was hard with my mind spinning. I for some reason doubted she would lift her rule about popping over at night to check on her. "We still on for piano lessons?"

"Of course, what days do you have off this week?"

"I'm off tomorrow, can I give you a call?" I asked hopefully.

She smiled. "Sure. Oh!" She dug into her pocket and pulled out my key before handing it to me, but I shook my head.

"I have another copy on me, hold onto it. Just in case."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "William, I really couldn't-"

"Please?" I pleaded. "It will make me feel better knowing that you have somewhere else to go if you don't feel safe. It'll also make it easier to not sneak by in the woods to check on you." She conceded thankfully, and thanked me again before leaving. I heard Alice's thoughts before she pulled up to the house. _My turn! Hit the road Will_. I frowned, and then in a lighter tone she said, _Don't worry, I'll take good care of her._

* * *

"Hey Emmett, have you even gone hunting before?" She asked randomly, slowly sliding out a brick from the tower of Jenga blocks. Jasper and him had finally found a game that they were better at then she was. Her hands always seemed to have the faintest shake to them, and couldn't compete with their vampiric fluidity.

He laughed loudly, and the rest of us shot him a warning look as he replied. "Tons of times, why do you ask?"

Jasper was leaning in to take his piece when she replied. "I feel like buying a gun, how do you get a permit?" I couldn't contain my laughter as Jasper knocked over the pile of wooden blocks, looking at her in shock. "Jenga!" She said happily before Emmett could. Jasper shook his head in frustration as Emmett led her over to one of the computers, printing off the proper forms for her and telling her where to turn them in.

"_Emmett! What are you doing?"_ Esme hissed quietly in disbelief. "_She can't have a gun!"_

"_Of course she can. I don't see why she shouldn't be able to protect herself,"_ he said seriously, also too quietly for Isabelle to hear and stunning everyone with his words. Rose went over to his side, kissing him happily before telling him that she'd be waiting for him upstairs. I shuddered from the mental picture she had in her head as she ran upstairs to their room with a smile.

* * *

She never really seemed to stop moving, unless it was to sleep. She worked all week during the days, and from the time Alice and I shared between the two of us she seemed like she was almost incapable of staying in one spot. She had an endless list of things to do inside, and once it seemed like she had run out of projects she moved outside.

I hadn't gotten to see her for a few days since her last lesson, and decided to stop by and say hi for a while before heading off to work. Her neighbors had parked in front of her house again, so I parked a little further down, using my briefcase as an umbrella. Despite the heaviness of the rain though, I could hear her working in her backyard. I noticed that her new lawn was coming in really well, and that she had torn up and replanted the flower beds outside the front of her house. I heard her unclip her pistol and flick off the safety as I made my way around her house. I smiled, she wasn't an easy person to sneak up on, and I found that fact reassuring.

"Don't shoot, I come in peace!" I teased, walking around the house with my hands held above my head. She relaxed when she saw that it was me, telling me to hold on while she finished in her garden. I inspected her work as she ran around the house to grab her last plant out of her truck. It was hard to imagine how she had found enough time to do so much in just two days. It was a drastic change, the neat, freshly turned beds with new, flowering plants compared to the over-grown chaos it had been three days ago. I took a quick picture on my phone before she came back to show Esme, hiding it quickly as I listened to her come around the corner. Did she even realize how completely drenched she was? The water made her shirt cling to her in a very appealing way. After packing the soil in around the small shrub, I watched completely entranced as she stood up with a dazzling smile. She was covered in mud, and wiped away at her long hair with the back of her arm, leaving a trail of dirt across her face.

I had a flash in my mind, seeing her rising up from a deer instead of a garden, brushing her wet hair away from her face. But she had a small spot of blood teasing me from the corner of her mouth, and was smiling up at me with golden eyes.

No, I could never do that to her, end her life and damn her to my existence. It would be the most selfish thing I could ever do. And yet… No. She looked over at me, and I pushed the alluring dream out of my mind. She was going to get sick soaking wet like this. "Isabelle, you are soaking wet," I said lamely.

She rolled her eyes and invited me inside, and I made myself comfortable on her large sectional couch while she cleaned up. I took a quick peek at the book that was open on her coffee table, and wondered why she had been reading about different cloud formations. She came back out five minutes later, all cleaned up in a pair of shorts and a t-shit, sliding back on her engagement ring as she walked by. I caught sight of the painful looking bruises that seemed to cover her legs and winced. They were a screaming reminder of how fragile she was, the smallest thing could threaten to take her away from me at any moment. It had me thinking about that image of her with golden eyes again.

She seemed to sense my concern, and gracefully folded her legs underneath herself. She was barely sitting for half a minute before she started fidgeting and looking around the room. "You never stop moving, do you? I don't think I've ever just seen you sit down and relax before."

She smiled as she spoke. "Isn't that what we're doing now?"

Hah, it was obvious that she was forcing herself though. "Nope, this doesn't count. You're probably just sitting here to be polite anyways." She looked at me for a few seconds, before her eyes took on that distracted look again. "See? I can see your head is still spinning a mile a minute. When was the last time you just did something for fun?"

"I do find this sort of thing fun." I raised an eye brow at her, wanting her to just admit that she had a problem, and she scowled at me. It was adorable, like an angry kitten, and when I smiled at her it just seemed to make her even angrier. "What? Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I have to go shopping or bake cookies every weekend. I'd much rather spend my time in my back yard or at the firing range or hiking."

I loved her temper, but was aware that I had hit a nerve and didn't want to do too much damage, so I raised my hands in surrender. She huffed adorably, and turned on her television. A strange thing to see her do. I watched as she combed her fingers absentmindedly through her wet hair. Her cheeks had a beautiful flush to them, something I would never see again if she became one of us. I wondered what she would think of me if she really knew what I was, what her reaction would be like if she found out. Would she think I was a monster, damned to hell for what I am?

"Do you believe in God?"

She looked at me steadily for a moment, seeming to debate her answer. I tried not to fidget under her piercing gaze. "I believe in the possibility of a higher power, but I don't believe in the Catholic version of God. Like in the bible. There are just too many controversies, I think it was used as more of a tool of oppression and control than anything. There's no way to prove it one way or the other, and I think it's an unfortunate waste of the short amount of time we have on this planet to fight or worry about it."

I nodded, analyzing her words carefully. I must have given her the wrong impression with my silence, because she seemed worried about having offended me. "Oh you didn't, I also agree with you, but it's hard to think a certain way sometimes when you've been forced to believe something else for so long. Do you think there is a heaven or a hell?" Though it was hard to remember my parents, I do know that they had raised me Catholic, and ever since then I'd been with Carlisle. His father had been a priest, so his upbringing had been stricter. The idea of that god had been drilled into our minds our entire lives, and even though we now had more education on the subject, it wasn't so easy to change the fundamentals that you had been built and raised with.

"I believe that we create our own realities. I like to think that there is something more of a limbo… where our loved ones can wait to see us again, and then maybe choose to be reincarnated. I really like the idea of reincarnation, and I believe that karma would really affect it. Those who do good with their lives will be given more happiness in their next ones, where people who create evil will not be so lucky." She had a sad smile on her face, and I wondered if she was hoping to meet the father of her child there someday. If her ideals were the reality, would I be cursed once this life ended, and be born again to suffer for it in my next? Would _she_ see me as evil?

I hesitated before asking, not really sure if I wanted the answer. I expected her to say murderers or demons or something of the sort, but she surprised me as always, lightening me with her words. "Evil is… lacking in compassion. Having no consideration or respect for life. I think as long as you are capable of loving someone without malice, you can't truly be evil." Those words gave me hope. Love is something that I did have, real love for my family, and most of all for her. I smiled happily at her, and she grinned before looking back at the TV like she had no idea how profoundly her words had affected me. "Aren't you working tonight?"

I looked at the time and cursed. I should be able to make it on time, but it will be close. I said goodbye to her quickly and rushed out to my car, making it into the building with twenty seconds to spare. It was still pouring, and I went to grab my briefcase once more. Humans cared about that sort of thing, trying to stay dry in the rain. _Except for Isabelle_, I thought with an amused smile, but it wasn't there. I quickly pictured it sitting under her coffee table. I smiled, realizing that I had an excuse to drop by in the morning, and walked into work with a big grin plastered on my face.

One of the nurses, Jennifer I reminded myself, came in with some logs for me to sign off on. _Look at that gorgeous smile, he seems to be in a good mood tonight. I should just ask him out already._ I tried to ignore her thoughts as I walked over to grab a folder from one of my shelves. Why couldn't Isabelle think of me like that? The image in her mind, of me wrapping my arms tightly around her and kissing her, sliding my hands over her body… I replaced the picture of her with one of Isabelle as I signed the papers, imagining what her full, soft lips would feel like against mine.

"Page seven is missing, just bring it by later when you find it and-" In a sudden surge of determination, the nurse walked up to me quickly, and I backed against the wall trying to put the distance back between us. She kept on course though, laying her hands against my chest. _Wow, he's so solid, and muscular… _"Doctor Masen-"

"Hey William, you forgot your-" Isabelle had walked into my office, holding my briefcase and looking at us with a surprised expression, and her face quickly turned bright red. "Sorry!" She squeaked, and fled quickly with an embarrassed smile on her face.

_I wonder who she was, calling him William? Maybe one of his niece's friends…_ I was completely horrified, what had she thought transpired here? I couldn't bear the thought of her misunderstanding what this was. No no no…

"Miss Reddik, this is completely inappropriate behaviour for the work place, please refrain from doing that ever again," I said coldly, and fled the room. I didn't care or pay attention to her reaction. The elevator had already closed, so I ran to the staircase, and chased Isabelle to her truck in the parking lot, catching her just before she reached for her door. She turned around when she heard me calling her name, her cheeks still that alluring shade of red. The rain was quickly soaking her thin shirt once more, making it cling to her hypnotizing curves. "Isabelle, I'm sorry, that wasn't what it looked like at all. There's nothing-"

"It's okay William, you don't have to explain anything to me. You're personal life is your own business. Sorry for interrupting though."

No, she actually thought there was something going on between me and that woman? Couldn't she see that I had eyes only for her? I couldn't let her think that. "Isabelle, there is nothing going on between her and I, or with anyone else for that matter. There's only one woman I care about."

She didn't get it. She still had that small smile on her face, that maddening, frustrating, absolutely stunning smile. I couldn't stop myself, I wanted her so badly, and I _needed_ her to know how I felt. I reached out, taking her delicate face into my hands, and gently pressed my lips to hers.

It was even more amazing than I had dreamed it would be. Her lips were so soft, and felt so good against mine. The heat from her skin shot fire and electricity though my body, more intense than anything I had ever felt before. I felt my mouth form into a smile when I slowly pulled away as she rested her hands gently on my chest, and opened my eyes to look at her.

Then my body immediately felt colder than it ever had before. She was looking at me with a painful, horrified expression as tears streamed down her face. I stood there, frozen in place as her hand shot out and slapped me across the face. I barely felt it, her touch as soft as a feather on my skin, but I knew that it must have been painful for her, like striking a steel wall. She jumped into her truck, and peeled out of the parking lot as quickly as her truck could move.

_Oh God, what have I done?_

I dashed through the parking lot to my car like a bullet through the darkness, starting her quickly and squealing out of the parking lot and down the road after her. It wasn't a far drive to her house, and she had beat me there. She didn't look at me as I jumped out of my car. She was running up her front steps and sticking the key into her door. "Isabelle! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." She went inside, slamming the door angrily behind her. "Please, let's talk about this," I pleaded, walking down her driveway at a more human pace.

"Go away William!" She shouted from inside.

"It was a mistake, I wasn't thinking and I'm so sorry, please just talk to me-"

I looked at her in shock as she threw open her door. She was standing in her doorway, face furious as she glared at me. She was gripping her pistol tightly in her right hand. "Leave. Now," she hissed.

"Please, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

"No, you shouldn't have, now get off of my property." She raised the gun at me, switching off the safety with an audible click as she pointed it at me. I knew there was no way that she would actually shoot at me, I just needed to get her to calm down and listen to me. I took one set up on her porch, and she quickly aimed, and shot a hole into the step a perfect inch away from my foot. I jumped back in surprise. "I didn't hit you on purpose, but if you don't leave now I guarantee I won't miss."

I couldn't believe she actually shot at me. Realizing I was doing more harm than good, I gave her one last pained look, before fleeing to my car and driving away. What was wrong with me? How could I have screwed things up so badly? I had been doing so well, she was finally starting to like me, we had been getting so close and… _Ahh!_ I struck my steering wheel angrily, breaking off half of the wheel. It was the most excruciating shift I had ever had to work through, but luckily Jennifer was nowhere to be seen.

I knew that she still loved her fiancé, and it was selfish of me to have kissed her without her permission. I couldn't believe that I had actually done that, and wouldn't blame her if she never wanted to speak to me again.

So, of course I was blown away when I pulled into my driveway and saw her sitting on my front steps. I got out of my car, and approached her cautiously. She didn't have her gun, so I think she had at least decided not to try and kill me. Today. I went to apologize again, but she held up a hand signalling for me to be silent.

"First, I'm sorry for shooting at you. That may have been a bit of an over-reaction. I'm mad at what you did, and thought it was very selfish of you to do it. But I value our friendship, and am willing to forgive you and put last night behind us if you promise not to do anything like that without my permission again."

_Without her permission?_ Did that mean that there may be a possibility of her _granting_ me permission? I was too thankful to look too deeply into it. At the moment. "I promise," I swore truthfully. I would never dare to upset her like that again.

"Okay then. I'll see you on Tuesday for our piano lesson," she said in a completely neutral tone, and didn't look back at me as she walked past me to her truck, got in, and drove away.

I had no idea what to think, and had been standing in my driveway watching the spot where her truck had disappeared for about twenty minutes before Emmett jumped out of the bushes with a giant grin on his face.

"Was Alice serious? Did she actually take a shot at you?" He asked excitedly. I moaned and walked inside.

* * *

I was extremely nervous when she came over on Tuesday. I had been too afraid to call or visit her although I was dying to be in her company. I had the sinking feeling that she would just not show up as I watched the seconds tick by slowly on my watch.

I jumped off of my couch in a blur when I heard her loud truck coming down the road, and waited impatiently with my hand on the door knob as she pulled into my driveway, then slowly walked across the gravel and up my front steps. I heard her let out one deep breath in a huff before she knocked. I practically ripped the door off of the hinges as I opened it quickly.

"Hey," she said, completely casual as she walked past me and dropped her purse on the couch. She went and took her usual spot on the right side of my bench, and I watched her carefully. She was trying hard to act normal, I could tell, the only difference was the lack of her usual small, polite smile. I hadn't really realized that I was still standing in the doorway until she turned around and looked at me speculatively. She patted the bench next to her. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you. I left my gun at home." She smiled then, "If you don't feel up to it though I can leave."

I might have dashed over to her side a little too quickly, but if it worried her she didn't show it. We went over the chords from last time before starting to move on.

And things did move on.

At first she was deliberate in keeping a formal distance between us, careful not to brush up against me or sliding away a little bit if I got too close to her, but if that was my only punishment then I was grateful. Neither of us brought up or even hinted at my indiscretion from the other night, and after a few weeks it was like it had never happened.

But it had happened. I clearly remembered the feel of her delicate face between my strong hands, the feel of her warm, soft lips like silk against mine. I thought about it constantly, dreaming about being able to kiss her just once more, and what it would have been like if she'd kiss me _back_. I was determined to keep my promise though, dying to know if she ever would give me permission. I knew that if I messed this up a second time, she would not be nearly as forgiving.

She never gave the slightest hint that she was interested in me that way though. She became more comfortable again with me after maybe a month, stopped flinching away if our hands accidently brushed the other's on my keyboard or our arms lightly bumped into the other's. I treasured those brief moments of contact, but they seemed to have no impact on her. She just went on with her worrying, constantly busy schedule. Summer came, and she was barely home anymore, driving the entire family insane with worry as she went hiking and kayaking alone. I practically ripped my hair out when she went bungee jumping, and had waited beneath the surface of the water just in case anything were to happen. We all relaxed slightly when she took a week to work on her front and back porches, sanding them carefully before staining them. It gave Rose the idea of getting Emmett and Esme to build her a garage, and the task thankfully kept her around the safety of our family for a couple weeks.

It was a magical thing, seeing her skin slowly grow darker from her time in the sun, something completely foreign to us. Sure, we'd seen other humans with tans, but had never really observed the progression in someone before. She seemed happiest on those sunny days that she spent by the water, and it was so painful not to be able to enjoy them with her. She had no idea how tightly she had my entire family wrapped around her delicate little fingers.

The hardest part was watching her continue to grow and change though. Her nineteenth birthday was quickly approaching, but she didn't mention a single thing about it to anyone. Alice had the feeling she was just going to let it pass buy unmarked, and happily announced to the family that we were going to throw her a surprise party.

"Alice, she hates it when people buy her things. She's just too damn polite to say anything about it," Jasper warned as Alice was flipping through a catalog.

"I know I know, but there's got to be something that she wants, that she would enjoy. Oh!" I saw Rose's choice flash through her mind. She loved her truck more than herself, of course she wouldn't mind if it was something for her Chevy. _Damn, I should have thought about that_, Alice thought. "What does she like to do that she doesn't already have?"

Jasper smiled, and came back with his chess board. She smiled radiantly, leaning forward in a blur and kissing him passionately. "That's perfect Jazz! What if we were able to get one that was white and purple though? Oh she would just love that…"

I already knew what I wanted to give her, it was wrapped and sitting on the mantel of my fireplace. I had spent weeks recording, and re-recording some of my original pieces, her favourites, onto a mixed CD for her. I knew that she hated people buying her expensive things, and was confident that she would be happy about it.

Alice had spent two days covering the trees down the drive of our property in miniature white lights, the inside as well, having Esme bake an elaborate cake and covering every surface on our main floor with ribbons, balloons and thousands of flowers. We knew better than to try and talk her out of it, or to try standing in her way. The only part that bothered her was the fact that she couldn't actually _see_ her coming over, but she had grown a bit accustomed to her lack of being able to watch her, and was confident that she would be able to get her over. She just needed to time it right.

She saw a flicker of her getting dressed in a beautiful lavender dress, the colour complimented her skin so beautifully, and started to worry that she may have plans. Who would she be going out with? The only person that she really talked to besides us was her boss and the people who worked at the hardware store in town. She concentrated carefully on the blurry image of her walking to her door, hesitating, then changing her mind and just dropping back onto her couch. Where had she been planning to go? The sun was just starting to set.

_Yes!_ Taking her chance, she called her, and her happy voice answered on the third ring. Alice used the knowledge of her eagerness to help to lure her over by asking for her assistance.

We all listened in anticipation as she slowly pulled down our drive. "Do you think she likes the lights? Jazz, can you tell?"

"Nope, she's too far away, I need to be in the same room as her," she said with a hint of frustration. I was looking forward to this most of all, it was very rare that I got to hang out with her and Jasper at the same time, and I was eager for the closest thing to a glimpse in her mind that was possible.

We turned off all the lights inside before she came around the corner, and waited excitedly as she walked out of her truck and up the front steps. After noticing that the front door was left open a crack, we watched as she entered in the room, and I started to feel her soft brush of emotions in Jasper's mind. Curiosity. She couldn't see us in the dark, but we could see _her_, and waited until she closed the door.

"Hello? Alice?" She asked cautiously. Alice flashed on the lights and we joined her is shouting out surprise.

This was the third time I had heard her scream, and even though it was nothing like the one I had heard when she had first woken up in the hospital I regretted our actions immediately. The sound was excruciating to hear, and I wanted to run to her side immediately as she backed up against the closed door in fear. It only lasted for a quick moment though, and I felt her relief as she sighed. She gave a shaky laugh, "Seriously? You guys scared me half to death." Alice ran over happily to her side, leading her over to the couch. I watched as she took in the elaborate decorations. Awe, and… sadness? Why was she sad? Jasper and I shared a concerned look. "How did you guys know?"

"I'm your Doctor, of course I know when your birthday is," Carlisle said with a teasing voice.

"This is so beautiful, you guys shouldn't have gone through all of this trouble. I don't even celebrate my birthday." That surprised all of us, but shouldn't have really with our knowledge of her past.

It made Esme really sad, and she had to stop herself from running over and hugging her. "You don't celebrate your birthday?"

She gave her an embarrassed smile. No, she did not like to talk about herself. "No, haven't since I was maybe seven." So, since her mother had passed. It made sense, it didn't seem in character for that demon of a father that she had had to throw her parties. Was she sad because this made her think of her mother? A surge of guilt shot through her, "This is beautiful though, really. Thank you so much." She looked around the room, smiling at each of us, and stopped when she saw me last.

She hesitated on me the longest, and Jasper found my thrill entertaining. I was trying to concentrate on her emotions though. What did she feel when she looked at me? I felt a giant grin stretch across my face and Alice pulled her away. It was tiny, but it was there, I was certain. Happiness, friendship, and the smallest flicker of appreciation and affection. Emmett had shot outside through an open window and was already close to finished with the installation of the new stereo system Rose had carefully chosen. I watched as she picked up and lightly shook the empty box before opening it, and felt her amusement and a bit of relief when it was empty. "Thanks Rose, I love it," she said laughing. Rose couldn't help but laugh too, and explained. She felt excited, this was something that she had wanted, but no one but Jasper and I could feel the unworthiness she felt at receiving such a gift. It was a good thing I hadn't decided to give her my car then, I decided. She adored the chess set that Alice and Jasper had gotten her, and carefully inspected each and every little amethyst piece with an adoring smile on her face.

But she loved my little gift the most. It took her a moment to read the writing and figure out what it was. I was horrible at putting names to my creations but she did it with ease. She referred to one of them as "The Rain Song", and then there was "The One That Sounds Like Sunshine". Her favourite was "The Lullaby", a piece I had actually written for her, the one I had made up that first night that she had stayed in my home with me, inspired by the joy of listening to her heart beat and gentle breathing just above me as she slept. She would close her eyes and listen carefully with a soft smile and relaxed expression whenever I played it, and I always treasured the few minutes of being able to watch her face, so closely beside me, without her even seeming to know. One of the biggest smiles I had ever seen her wear spread across her face as I felt her appreciation and happiness for the small CD. It was dazzling.

She went to open Esme's gift, well technically Esme and Carlisle's, but he'd had no say in the idea. It all happened very quickly. Each one of us were hit hard, like running into a mountain. The unexpected and intoxicating scent of her blood assaulted us all simultaneously, and Jasper's blood lust, accompanied by mine and every other one of my family members' was too much for him to bear.

I lunged when he did. Yes, the scent of her blood was the most delectable thing I had ever experienced, but I loved her even more than it. It was instinctual to throw myself between them, I couldn't live without her, there was no other thought in my mind. It didn't make sense; the crackle of energy, it was like being struck by lightning, or maybe running into a wall of lightning would have been a better description. The two of us were thrown back so quickly, so forcibly, that Jasper hadn't even had time to brace himself as he was thrown into the wall. I hadn't seemed to be hit as hard though, and managed to land in an inelegant crouch, gouging though Esme's pristine floor when my hand dug into it trying to gain purchase.

Everyone in the room was frozen, staring at Isabelle in horror and wonder.

_What the hell was that?_

_I've never seen anything like that in my life, what was that?_

_How did she do that?_

The thoughts assaulted my mind all at once, it was as if their minds had all gone silent for a minute and started back up, or they had just been too taken aback to even think for a moment.

She moved before any of us did, dashing across the room to Jasper's side as she ripped off her scarf and wrapped it tightly around the cut on her finger, and dropped down in front of him. He was completely in control again, not being influenced by the rest of us, and stared at her in wonder. "I am so sorry Jasper, are you hurt? I swear I didn't mean to do that." _She was apologizing to me? The scarf… she knows. She knows that I just tried to attack her when she cut herself. She did that, somehow she threw us back with that invisible wall. You felt it too right?_ Her emotions were chaotic with guilt and concern. Concern for Jasper. Her hands fluttered around him, checking to make sure he wasn't hurt.

And concern for _me_. She looked over at me quickly again, but it was obvious that I had fared better than Jasper. It had felt differently to us though, I could see it in his mind. It just was just like running into and invisible wall and being thrown back, he didn't feel the electricity, the intense surge of energy. She was still obscenely worried when she looked at me though. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry." I nodded, apparently not capable of anything more. It was fading fast but I swear I could still feel the energy buzzing inside of me. It reminded me of the feeling I had gotten when I kissed her. She looked back at Jasper, seemingly not trusting her first judgement of him being okay.

"I'm so sorry Isabelle," he said, drowning in his shame. He couldn't believe what he had almost done; it was like he hadn't had the slightest bit of control over his body.

"It's okay Jasper, this wasn't your fault. I should have been more careful." She was completely honest when she spoke that words, he could feel her pushing a feeling of sincerity at him. She looked around at each of us in the room, silent and frozen while staring at her, and her emotions turned to one of worry.

_She saw everything William. How we moved, she knows that Jasper tried to attack her because of her blood. We need to tell her, we owe it to her to explain. She should be able to make an educated decision, know what we are and the danger she is in from being around us. She knows too much. We can't just decide to leave her without an explanation, she should be able to choose._ Carlisle's words were sad, he knew the danger she would be in from knowing our secret, but he was right in saying that she knew too much. If Aro touched anyone of us, she was damned already. It was only right to give her the opportunity to decide if she didn't want us in her life. It would be safer for her, she would have a better chance of not being found if she left us.

But we couldn't just decide that for her and leave. She was part of our family, each and every one of us loved her too much to hurt and abandon her.

"Should I, would you guys be more comfortable if I left?" She was worried about making us uncomfortable? I thought it was because of the fact that she was being gawked at by seven statues. She looked at me, and that hurt look in her eyes pushed me past the breaking point, snapping me back into my own mind. I flashed to her side, realizing too late that I hadn't even bothered to hide my speed.

She didn't flinch away, there wasn't a hint of fear or surprise in her. I needed to hold her in my arms, to feel the beating of her heart one last time in case she chose this moment to leave our lives forever. She didn't push me away. I told her that I was sorry, and after a moment pulled away. I couldn't understand her expression at all. Why was this human so immune to everything? _Was_ she even human? Maybe Jasper's gift wasn't working properly again. "Aren't you… scared?"

She scowled at me, seemingly offended by my words. "No."

Wow. I only had a moment to marvel, if I didn't tell her now, I wouldn't ever be able to bring myself into doing it. "You're probably wondering about… There's something we need to tell you. About us." I paused for a moment, trying to find the least frightening way to phrase it. She looked around again at everyone in the room and her emotions seemed almost frustrated. Dreadful. She looked back at me.

How was I supposed to let her go?

She let out a small sigh, and looked away in resignation. "I know already. It's okay."

I shook my head, as much as I wanted to give her the usual excuses, adrenaline rush, poor blood circulation, steroids or any of the other excuses humans made to make themselves more comfortable around us, we couldn't lie to her like that. She needed to know. "Whatever you're thinking, it's not-"

"I know that you're all vampires." She said the words completely calmly, and didn't seem surprised by our silence. She stood up from her kneeling positing between Jasper and I on the floor, and brushed off her skirt. It was impossible, but maybe she put it together when she cut herself, she seemed to know that her blood had triggered it.

"How long have you known?" I asked, but everyone was thinking it. She looked over at Alice and Carlisle, the corner of her mouth pulling up into a small smile.

"Since the first moment I woke up in the hospital, and saw you two in my room."

She's known the entire time? That sentence completely changed my perspective on the entire past year. It explained all of those little knowing looks I caught on her face occasionally, why she was never surprised about the coolness or hardness of our skin. Why she never asked us why we never ate or drank around her. That time when I stayed with her when she'd been afraid from the harsh side effects from her medication. She waved it right in my face.

"_I can't sleep at night, I'm a vampire!" She paused, then grinned mischievously at me. "Just kidding. Look, no fangs!"_

Shit. She was an ever better actress than I'd thought.

"How is that possible?" Carlisle asked before I could.

She went silent for a long moment. It wasn't often you could read the depth of her emotions through those careful eyes, but this time I could see that she was fighting a war in there. Her feelings became resigned once again, and as she twisted her delicate ring around her finger she seemed to draw strength from it. "My fiancé, he told me the stories of the infamous Cullens, the vampires with the yellow eyes that didn't feed on humans. Despite what you were, even my pack couldn't truly hate you. Not after you saved Harry." She looked me straight in the eyes, knowing. The memory was crystal clear of course. The older human had been fishing, and we were passing closely by while he was with Charlie Swan on our way to our hunt. I had heard the telltale signs of a heart attack moments before it happened. She had used the familial pack term, and it all made sense. Jacob Black was strict in his rules, but if one of his pack had imprinted on her like his second had, they would have been free to tell them all of the legends. She was a part of the Quileute tribe by their oldest of laws. "My fiancé, my spirit husband… His name was Jacob Black. Alpha of the Quileute tribe. I was his imprint."

It was Jacob Black. The man I had been jealous of for the last ten months, the father of Isabelle's child, the one who she loved and wore a ring and constant reminder for. The fact that I had actually known the man this entire time was hard to wrap my mind around.

But this didn't make sense. The shape shifters were remarkably hard to destroy, and Jacob Black was the strongest wolf I had met, larger even than his great grandfather. The only way he could have been killed was by a vampire. The coincidence was too much. "That's impossible," I whispered, not understanding.

She gave a small smile. I didn't know how she was doing that when I could feel the waves of pain crashing around inside of her, and now I knew who they were for. "Impossible is a strange word to hear coming from a vampire."

Emmett actually started to laugh at that, but Rosalie kicked him hard in the leg to silence him. "No, I mean that it's impossible because you said that he was dead, and you can't just..."

"He is dead." Her voice was cold, and Alice hissed at me for my insensitive words as she pulled her over to sit down on the couch.

"How?" Carlisle asked, but we all knew the answer before she spoke.

"The same way as my father, killed by a vampire."

My family looked at me in shock. How did she know? We had cleaned up perfectly, the police reports even said that he was killed by a hit and run driver. How was she even able to be in the same room as me? "How did you know?"

"Because I was there. Charlie tried to scare him away, but he took his gun before he could even move, and shot him point blank in the head right beside me. I had to tell the cops that it was a home invasion, and… Jacob… He was able to chase him away from me, but he got away. He came back for me the next day and… Jacob died saving my life again."

Ours wasn't the only police report that was false. The answers just gave us more questions though. Why had this vampire been after her? Had he caught on to her strange powers as well? And who was he? Alice was livid, but she calmly stroked Isabelle's hair and held her in an attempt to sooth her. I badly wanted to take her place. I wished I could shut Jasper out of my mind, because her chaotic misery was suffocating. I couldn't stand it.

"I'm so sorry Isabelle, we had no idea," she whispered gently to her. Now that she did though, she was determined to avenge her for all of the pain she was caused. Alice would find the culprit, and destroy him gladly. She wasn't the only one thinking along those lines, the family was furious that someone had tried to end her life and change her against her will, or was either out for her blood alone. I wasn't the only one who found her scent especially appealing.

"It's not your fault," she choked between painful sobs. "I want you to know that I don't look at you guys like that monster. You're nothing like him, and I don't hold the actions of his… kind against you."

We knew that she was telling the truth. She had known our secret the entire time, but still cared about us and chose to include us in her lives. We sat in painful silence as she cried, not knowing what to do. Jasper could feel her, but he had no effect on her emotions at all. It was so much more than the loss of a loved one, it was like she was mourning for part of her own soul. Instinctively, Carlisle held Esme closer to his side, not being able to let her go. Jasper went to Alice's side, and Rosalie clung to Emmett.

And I stood there alone, looking at the reason for my existence, feeling her pain and knowing that it is how I would feel if she was taken from me. But she was feeling that for another man. A man she had agreed to marry and had given herself to, and someone who was able to give her a child.

My thoughts were pulled out of their darkness as an overwhelming surge of anger flared to life in her, making both Jasper and I flinch. She straightened up, pulling away from Alice and swiping furiously at the moisture on her face before she determinedly looked at Carlisle.

"What is a Volturi?"

* * *

"Excuse me?" He asked, shocked. Yes, he did know what it was.

"You heard me, I want to know what a Volturi is, and why Elijah was so desperate to have my shield. I know you know, I can see it in your eyes Carlisle. You _need_ to tell me." After seeing what I had just done, and pairing that with my weird sixth sense and my ability to kick Jasper out of my head, I had finally figured out what Elijah had meant when he said I was a shield.

Carlisle came and sat down next to me, and I didn't look at anyone else. "The Volturi are a large coven of vampires that reside in Italy. They are something like… our rulers, the enforcer of our laws. The vampire you are talking about, Elijah, he is-"

"_Was_. He no longer walks on this earth."

He gave another shocked look before nodding and continuing. "He was something of a recruiter; his job was to look for potential candidates, powerful people with exceptional abilities that could raise their level of power."

I looked at Alice in worry, and she didn't seem to understand. "They don't know about you, do they?"

"What do you mean?" She smiled before I could even reply.

"You know exactly what I mean, my little clairvoyant friend." She laughed, and everyone else just continued to stare. "Okay guys, I know that your cover's been blown, but it's a little weird when you're not even at least acting like you're human. Breathe, or pretend to, or something."

My shift in attitude seemed to relax them slightly, and everyone went back to taking their previous places. I knew Jasper was helping me now, I could feel him trying to do so earlier but I just hadn't been able to let him in. I was grateful for it, I felt so close to snapping at any moment and just wanted to get myself through the rest of this night. I knew what the Volturi was now, I would figure out how to destroy them later. I knew it would need time and planning, and was most likely suicide, but I would gladly risk my life to avenge my loved ones. The thought made it just a little bit easier, giving me a new found sense of purpose. I needed to distract myself, to just stop thinking about him so I wouldn't break down in front of them again. I had plenty of other questions that I wanted answers to though, and finally had the opportunity to ask some of them.

"What's your power William?" I asked curiously. He was the only one still standing, he seemed to be having the hardest time accepting my… acceptance.

"What?"

"You all seem to have some sort of extra unique ability, and yours is the only one I can't figure out. Carlisle's seems to be his compassion, Alice had her clairvoyancey, Jasper with his mood thingy, Rose with her ridiculous good looks-" she smiled, flipping her hair, "And I can only guess what Emmett's is by his ridiculous muscles. But you, I have no idea."

"You are way too perceptive, you know that right?"

"You know that you're evading, right?"

He finally smiled, "I can read minds."

That didn't make any sense, if he could read minds my cover would have been blown a long time ago. Then I saw that frustrated look cross his mind, and it clicked. I smiled. "But you can't read mine."

He nodded. "It was driving me crazy for the longest time, yours is the first one I've never been able to get into, it's completely blank. It's nice to finally have an explanation. _A shield,_ why didn't I think of that?"

"And an extremely powerful one at that, where it's already manifested in her human form so strongly."

"What do you mean Carlisle?"

"You were right in guessing our… powers as you called them. We all bring something forward from our human lives that is amplified once we're changed. It's not very common to find something so powerful in a human though."

"Hmm." I didn't know what else to say, and everyone was quiet for a moment, regarding me worriedly. A realization hit me then, a small part that I had over-looked. I looked down at my hands in my lap while speaking quietly. "Are you going to have to kill me now?"

"_What?"_ William exclaimed, flashing to my side again and kneeling in front of me in a second. "What are you talking about?"

"Now that you know that I know, do you have to kill me?"

"Of course not, we would never hurt you Isabelle." He reached out and gently stroked my cheek with his thumb. Something worse came to my realization then, and I saw both him and Jasper flinch.

"Are you going to leave?" My voice was shaking. No, I couldn't lose them too, they were all I had now. The closest thing to friends or family.

He pulled me into a tight hug. "No, we will not leave you. Not if you don't want us to. I promised you that before, remember?"

I hugged him back, and nodded into his shoulder. "Thank you." It was barely a whisper, but I knew that they all heard.

"But Isabelle," Carlisle said, drawing my attention once again. "You have to know that there is only one main rule the Volturi enforce amongst us, and that it to keep the secret. If they found out that a human knew of our secret, no matter who told them of it, they would see them as a threat. You might be safer if we left, and we will respect whatever your choice is."

I looked back at him evenly. "From the way I see it, you are in more danger being around me than I am you."

"What do you mean?"

"Wouldn't you be punished for revealing your secret? There are seven of you that could be punished, but only one of me. And they've already tried to kill me. Not an easy thing to do, apparently." It had become apparent now, death just wasn't ready to take me.

"Well, yes, I suppose so." He hadn't seemed to even realize his own danger.

I looked to Alice, and took her hand gently. "I care about you, all of you, and I don't want you to be in danger from me. Even if it wasn't for your Volturi, I'm not a safe person to be around. People that I care about… bad things tend to happen from them. It would probably be safer for you if I left."

She leaned in close to my face, her golden eyes only inches apart from mine as she looked at me furiously. "But what if I don't want you to leave?" She hissed.

"If you want me to stay, I will," I told her sadly. It was so selfish of me, but I didn't want to be alone. "You're the only friends that I have left."

Alice pulled me into a tight hug. "Then I'm not letting you go anywhere." The room seemed to settle, and Emmett cleared his throat. Everyone looked at him curiously.

"There's an obvious answer here people. Why don't we just change her?" Everyone seemed to smile at the idea, and I was flattered that they were so willing to take me into their family, except for Rosalie who shot to her feet.

"No!" She hissed.

"No," I said, more calmly. I tried to ignore the feeling of hurt that Rosalie didn't want me, we had seemed to get along so well, but that wasn't the point. I looked to William who was still kneeling in front of me, who seemed more hurt by my refusal than anyone else. I think he already knew my answer though, I could see it in his eyes. "I'm sorry, it's not because of you, because I really do care about all of you."

"Then why?" He whispered.

Did he really care about me that much? To want to turn me and keep me forever, even though I couldn't give him what he wanted? It was obvious that he did, and I felt so bad for the pain I was about to cause him. I laid a gentle hand on his cheek, speaking to him alone.

"Jacob gave his life to save me from becoming a vampire. I won't let that be in vain. I just can't give up my humanity, I'm sorry." Yes, that hurt him deeply. I didn't know what else to do besides wrap my arms around his neck and hold him. His arms were like an iron vice around my waist as he rested his forehead on my shoulder. "I'm sorry," I whispered again.

"No, don't be. I understand, and I don't want you to feel guilty about this." It was a long moment before he was able to pull away, then he gave me a weak smile.

"So, where does this leave us?"

"The same place we were when you came in. Nothing has to change," Alice said happily.

I took a moment to look at each of their smiling faces. Each of them except for Rosalie who was pointedly not meeting my gaze, but I would address that later if I had to, and Jasper. His expression was still oozing guilt. "Jasper, I meant it. I know that wasn't your fault. You were feeling not only your own emotions but everyone's at the same time. You visited me so many times in the hospital without a problem at all. I know that you wouldn't hurt me. I'm not afraid of you, and I don't hold it against you." I concentrated hard on him, throwing my feelings of love, friendship and forgiveness at him as hard as I could. He seemed to melt in his chair, slumping slightly and smiling after a moment. William laughed, and shook his head.

"What?"

"I might not be able to see in your mind, but I can see in _his_. You practically drugged him. I don't know how you do it, but it's hilarious."

Jasper shook his head clear, and smiled back at me. "Thank you Isabelle."

"No problem. So, can I finish opening my presents? I feel kind of relieved that I won't have to watch you guys force down that cake just for my benefit now."

They laughed, and after I opened up my gift from Esme and Carlisle, I gasped loudly. Grabbing the giant knife for the cake that was sitting next to me, I stabbed into the cardboard box and pulled it out. Clicking open the plastic lid, I marveled at the beautiful array of sockets and bits, lifting up the heavy drill in my hands. It felt _good_. I gently set it down, and ran over to Esme. I stumbled a few feet short, but she caught me in a hug, laughing.

"I absolutely love them Esme, thank you so much." I squeezed her as tightly as I could.

It was wonderful, being surrounded by them without all of the secrecy, seeing them relax more than they ever had in front of me. I tried to ignore the anxious feeling in my stomach, and the loud voice in my mind telling me that this could never last.

**Thanks for Reading!  
**


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Lost and Found

**The materials and characters of this story are property of Stephanie Meyer. I have moved, changed and altered the characters and story for my own entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. Caution: ****May contain mature language and subject matter.**

**Chapter 16 :: Lost and Found**

**Isabelle**

"So, how old are you, really?" I asked her. We were sitting on her bed thumbing through a new stack of catalogs that she had just received. I thought it was funny how she had set up a fake bedroom for when I came over before to try and hide the fact that her and Jasper shared one. I liked her real bedroom much more, but she said she had enjoyed the extra closet space.

"I am actually nineteen, I think. That's what Carlisle thinks anyways, I don't remember any of my human life. Oh! What do you think of this one?" She pointed to the picture of a dark grey blouse.

I thought about it for a moment, then shook my head. I had much more fun picking out outfits for her than myself. "Nope, I don't like how the sleeves bunch up like that, they'll make your arms look oddly skinny. Is that normal? Not remembering anything?"

"No, that's just me. The other say they remember, but that the memories are kind of muddy, or blurry. You'd have to ask someone else about it, I can't explain it right."

"Do you know why you can't remember?"

She shook her head, and flipped another page. "I just woke up alone with no memories. I did have my gift though and immediately knew that I would find Jasper and Carlisle's family. Jasper wasn't quite ready to meet me though, so I had to wait a while."

I felt Jasper before I saw him, appearing by Alice's side and joining us lazily on the bed. "I thought she was crazy at first, just walking up to me with a big smile. I thought she was going to attack me, but as soon as I felt her emotions… well, I haven't been able to leave her side since." She smiled lovingly at him, and he leaned forward over her magazine to kiss her gently on the lips.

"How long have you been together?"

"Eighty-three wonderful years," he said in a dreamy voice. I couldn't help but smile at the obvious affection in his eyes. They looked like they needed a moment alone, so I excused myself to use the washroom.

It had been an interesting week. As Alice had promised, things pretty much went back to normal. With a few exceptions. The façade she had been putting up for me had quickly crumbled away. I was happy that she was comfortable around me enough to act like her normal self, and it was interesting watching the way she moved. Sometimes Alice would be sitting next to me, and I would blink and she would be on the opposite side of the room. She never bothered to drive to my place anymore, and usually came over through the woods in my backyard. I had even been able to get her to pull the dead tree stump out of my yard that had been annoying me for months, and she ripped it out like it was a dandelion. This was my first time coming back to her house since my birthday though, and I had been excited to see them all again.

I always felt weird using Alice's personal bathroom, and had taken my time walking down the two floors to use the one by the kitchen. When I came back out I took a peek in the living room, and found Emmett and Rosalie building a monumental tower of cards. There looked to be about a hundred empty packs scattered around the floor, and Rosalie was balancing precariously on the arms of a dining room chair. "Impressive," I said with a small smile. Emmett gave me his usual smile as he said hello, and my stomach sunk when Rosalie looked away, seemingly not wanting to talk to me. I didn't understand what I had done to upset her so much, and realized it was probably very rude for me to be walking around their house like this. I put on a neutral face, and apologized for interrupting before fleeing up the stairs. Jasper gave me a worried look when I came back in and closed the door behind me.

"What's wrong? Why are you so upset?"

"Nothing's wrong," I said with a smile, and sent him a desperate feeling of wanting him to drop it through my mind. He frowned, but nodded, and Alice gave us both an annoyed look. I had hoped to see Esme, but she was taking too long to come home and I suddenly felt very uncomfortable forcing my presence in Rosalie's home when she so obviously didn't want me here. "Want to go hang out at my place? I haven't gotten to use my new chess board yet."

She gave me a calculating look, but agreed, and the two of them joined me in my truck. I let Jasper drive.

To be honest, it wasn't just Rose's reaction since last weekend that was bothering me. I hadn't seen William again since then either. He had called me saying that he needed to cancel on our Tuesday piano lesson because they needed him to come into work, but I had the feeling that he just hadn't wanted to see me.

Maybe now that he knew of my history with Jacob he had moved on and lost interest in me. I wouldn't have blamed him, it wouldn't be fair of me to want him to chase after me when I couldn't really give him anything in return. But he was just as much my friend as Alice was, even though they were completely different types of friendship.

I missed him so much, and the feeling confused me.

Alice picked me up from my spot on the bench, and lifted me over her lap easily to put me between her and Jasper. He reached out and rested a hand on my shoulder, and I instantly relaxed. My emotions must have been driving him crazy.

"It's getting harder and harder to touch your emotions, even when I can feel them. Are you doing your shield thing again?"

"I don't know," I told him honestly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he said with a smile. "Just try not to hold it against me for trying to lighten your mood."

I really didn't mind at all, because if I could avoid it I really didn't want to think of the hurt I felt with seeming to lose two of my friends. Once they left me for the evening though, there was no way to avoid it.

Now that I didn't have to hide anymore, my nightstand had become more of an altar. I flopped down on my bed, looking at my favourite picture of Jacob and I from Prom. My worn bracelet was there too, along with his ashes and my tiny wolf. It made the pain a little easier being able to look at these things whenever I walked into my room.

"What do you think I should do?"

The wolf stared back at me silently.

"Nothing? You sure?"

More silence.

I nodded, and rolled over onto my back to stare at the ceiling while hoping to fall asleep and maybe get the chance to talk to him properly. He hadn't spoken to me in my dreams since the night William had kissed me. I couldn't help a small smile when I remembered the shocked look on his face when I had fired a round into my front step. It wasn't often one could say that they scared away a vampire.

I felt that weird fluttering feeling in my mind, alerting me that someone was in my backyard. There had been a home robbery a few blocks away a couple weeks ago, and with an annoyed sigh I picked up my pistol and walked over to my back porch. I just wanted to go to sleep, but it shouldn't be hard to scare him off.

I opened the door, leaving it open behind me and scanning the trees. The moonlight danced in her golden hair as she walked out with an amused smile. "I had heard it from William, but it's still weird seeing it for myself. You can really feel when someone's close to you or walks onto your property?"

"Pretty much." Her voice didn't sound angry, but it wasn't always easy to tell if a vampire was acting or not. I had trouble meeting her eyes, and looked off to the side at one of my gardens.

"Isn't it weird when you like, go shopping or something?"

"Yeah, it's mildly annoying but I'm starting to get used to it." I felt when she moved, so I wasn't surprised when I looked up and she was standing right in front of me while analyzing my face. I refused to let her see how much she had hurt me, and looked away while crossing my arms. "Why are you here Rosalie?"

"You're mad at me, aren't you?"

I looked at her in surprise. She looked sad. "I'm not mad at you Rose, I just don't know what I did to make you hate me so much." My voice caught a little, but I didn't cry.

"I don't hate you," she said quietly.

"You don't have to lie. Did Jasper put you up to this? I get it okay, its fine if you don't want to be my friend anymore. I won't go over to the house if you don't want me to either. We don't have to make a big deal about it." I turned around to walk back inside, but she was once again in front of me.

"You think I'm your friend?"

"Ouch. God, you don't have to be a bitch about it."

She laughed loudly at my words, and I got extremely angry. Her eyes widened in shock as I saw her get pushed away by an invisible force slightly. She spoke very quickly, her expression worried. "That's not what I meant by that at all! I didn't think you liked me enough to actually consider me a friend. I'm happy that you do. And I don't hate you, not at all. I came over here to apologize."

I didn't quite believe her. "Apologize for what?"

"For what happened on your Birthday!" I raised an eyebrow at her and she groaned. "When Emmett suggested that we change you, and I said no."

"It's okay Rose, I get it-"

"No you don't! I was so angry, because I thought you were going to say yes. You have no idea how lucky you are, what you have the possibility of doing-"

I didn't mean to but she was pushed back another two feet across my floor, her words enraging me. "No idea how _lucky_ I am? You have no _idea_ what my life has been like! Do you have any idea how lucky _you_ are? You love Emmett right? Your _family_? How long have you been together, huh? You are so fucking lucky to have all of them. Since my mother died, do you know what the longest anyone I've cared about has stayed in my life? Nine months. Nine months is the longest I've ever been allowed to keep a family or friend, someone I loved. You've had yours for decades. Don't tell me how lucky I am!"

"But you can have children."

"Yes. And I did. And he died inside of me because I can't protect anyone. But _you_ can. You can protect your family." I was shaking with anger.

"I'm sorry Isabelle. This all came out wrong. I care about you, and was worried you were going to make a mistake. I never wanted this life, to be this way. I wanted to have children and a family and grow old and watch them grow old, and all of that was taken away from me. I'm so jealous of what you have, of the possibilities you have, and when I thought that you were going to throw it all away I was angry."

"But I don't want to throw it away." I didn't understand.

"I know! That's the thing! I automatically assumed that you would."

"Then why were you mad at me?"

"I wasn't! I was mad at myself for assuming, and then I just felt guilty because I thought that you thought that I said no because I didn't want you in my family, but I do. I like you, you're probably one of the best friends I've ever had. People just don't normally like me, and I'm okay with that because I don't like most people. But I like you, and I want to be your friend. Please forgive me."

"Oh." It was a lot to take in, and I felt completely humiliated by reaction. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I forgive you." She looked at me in disbelief, a small smile on her face. "I'm sorry for flipping out on you, I just misunderstood. "

"No, it's okay. I'm horrible at this sort of thing."

"It's okay. I'm sorry for pushing you too, I seriously don't understand how this thing works."

She laughed. "It was kind of cool actually, didn't hurt or anything. You know, you're probably the most interesting human I've ever met."

"Oh, well umm… thanks."

She left not long after, and when the weird feeling dissipated from my mind I went back inside, locked my door and fell back on my bed. I looked over at my wolf. "Good call," I told him with a smile, but it slowly faded.

I couldn't bring myself to ask her about William. It felt too… personal. I didn't know if they knew of his feelings for me, and I definitely wasn't going to be the one to tell them that. He usually had Sundays off but… no, I couldn't bring myself to go over and demand an answer. He had been there, probably feeling what I had felt through Jasper's mind when I told them about Jake. If he decided it was too hard and didn't want to be around me anymore, or had changed his feelings about me, it didn't seem right to force my presence on him. I missed him, but I definitely didn't want to hurt him more than I already had.

So, I would do nothing. I hated it, but I didn't know what else to do. I went and turned on my CD player in the living room, and fell asleep to the sound of his music while curled up on my couch with my quilt.

* * *

"Isabelle! What the hell are you doing up here?" I looked up at Alice who was standing next to me on my roof. She was wearing an angry expression and had her arms crossed.

I looked down at the hammer and new piles of shingles next to my knee. "That's a bit of an obvious question," I told her with a smile, and started hammering again. The tool disappeared from my hand once I stopped with the first nail.

"What I meant to say was why are you alone on your roof in the rain replacing shingles?"

"I had a leak, the water is going to ruin my ceiling and floors. Or even worse, it could _mold_," I said with a shiver. "I tried patching it through the attic but it wasn't working, so I thought covering it from the outside might work." I gave her a proud smile, but her expression didn't change. "What are _you_ doing on my roof?"

She sighed, relaxing slightly. She held up three fingers, then folded one, then the second, then the third before looking across the river. I followed her gaze just as a huge lightning bolt hit a tree off in the distance. The sound was deafening, and the surprise caused me to lose my balance and slip. Alice had me in her arms in a second though. "Because I saw you falling off your roof and breaking your leg. Thought I'd save you the visit to the hospital."

I laughed and gave her a hug. "Thank you Alice." I let her go and started hammering more quickly. I didn't want to get struck by lightning but I also didn't want to have to rebuild my ceiling.

"What are you doing!"

"You'll save me if I almost-fall again," I told her with a smile. "Just give me a minute, I'm almost done." She tapped her foot impatiently while I finished. "There, perfect." I ran over and threw my arms around her neck.

"What are you doing?" She asked again, laughing and eyeing me curiously.

"You're not seriously going to make me take the ladder are you? It's all wet and slippery." I jutted out my bottom lip in my best pout. With another smile, she wrapped her arms around me and jumped off of the roof, landing lightly on my porch. "Awesome," I whispered, then pulled her inside out of the rain with me. She followed me into my bedroom and I threw her a nice shirt so that she wouldn't drip all over my house before getting changed myself.

We sat down on my couch and Alice turned on the TV. I wasn't really paying attention, there was a question nagging at me that I was trying to word properly. "Hey Alice,"

"Hey Isabelle,"

"Do you know what question I'm about to ask you?"

She turned away from the television then, and looked deep into my eyes for a long minute. The frustrated look on her face gave me my answer.

"I see it sometimes, how you just seem to know what someone's going to say before they even speak. Are you just acting like you don't know around me? Because you really don't have to do that, I want you to be yourself around me."

She gave me a smile, and slid a little closer. "Thank you Isabelle, but I am myself around you. It's just… my visions don't seem to work properly around you."

"What do you mean?"

She thought about her answer for a minute. "I can see glimpses of you when I try really hard, but they're always blurry and uncertain. And they're erratic. I really don't understand it. When I found you when you crashed outside of town, I had no idea why I was there, only that I needed to be. Once I was with you, trying to figure out what to do, I was able to see little flashes. When I decided to bring you to Carlisle, I was kind of able to see what would happen, but the visions were so weak and unstable that I knew I couldn't completely trust them. It's the same now, they're all blurry and erratic, and I keep seeing less and less of them. It's a good thing that it only takes a minute and a half to run here from home," She said with a smile. "When I saw you fall it scared the hell out of me."

"Is it because of my shield thingy?"

"Must be, I don't know what else could explain it." I nodded, and felt a little relieved. Maybe I would actually be able to surprise her with my Christmas present this year.

"So how's the family?" I asked as casually as I could. She didn't seem to hear anything off in the question.

"Pretty good. Carlisle's been so busy with work lately, they lost a couple of doctors and he's been having to take extra shifts for the past few weeks."

I felt hopeful for a moment. Was it possible that William had actually been busy with work lately too? It would explain why he had cancelled that one time, but still, it's been almost three weeks and he hasn't even called.

"How's William doing?" The question tumbled out of me before I could stop it. Alice looked at me, and I saw two things flash through her eyes; Frustration, and worry.

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"My birthday." I worked hard to keep the sound of disappointment out of my voice. "He cancelled on our piano lesson after that, and hasn't talked to me since." She seemed angered by that comment, but quickly hid the expression.

"Yeah, he's been really swamped at work too, he's been doing extra shifts in the ER a lot lately."

"Do you have a sewing machine I could borrow?" I desperately needed to change the subject, I hated that sympathetic look that she was giving me.

"Sure, why?"

"I'm working on a Halloween costume for work. Kat wants me to dress up for this thing she's doing."

"Sure! What are you going as?"

"It's a surprise," I told her with a happy smile. Yes, I definitely liked that she couldn't see. I had been thinking of two costumes just for that reason. "It's going to be a community event though; you're more than welcome to come." That seemed to cheer her up, and she promised to bring the machine by tomorrow.

* * *

All of my flower beds were finally prepped for winter, and it was starting to get too cold to work outside. Luckily my new project took up a lot of time.

My Mom had taught me to sew when I was just a little kid. It was one of her many hobbies, and after she passed it was one of the skills I had needed. Fixing torn clothes, making new ones when I couldn't afford to buy any. When I was living with Tara and George they had all sorts of things that needed to be fixed. I loved the quietness and simplicity of just sitting with a needle and thread, and the repetitive task of stitching. It was like meditation to me. But I had never done something this complicated before.

First I made the long golden-yellow gloves than went all the way to my elbows. I had used hula-hoops as the frame for the ball gown. It took weeks to do all of the crimping in the skirt, but it turned out beautifully. I had no idea how to make a corset though, so I had just bought one and re-did the layer of matching fabric over it before sewing in into the hooped skirt.

It wasn't completely traditional though because I added in a few of my own touches. I did the wrap-around shoulder sash in a very light colour of violet, and used one of my mother's antique broaches to complete it on the bust. Then I spent a whole week of evenings sewing dark purple glass beads into the corset to make an intricate floral design down the center and around my waist.

It was absolutely perfect.

It was a charity Halloween party to raise money for books for under-privileged children. There was a cover-charge to get in, and I helped Kat organize and collect donations for a silent auction, a raffle, and spent days baking cookies, cakes and other treats to sell to raise money. Kat did all of the advertising though, it wasn't something I was comfortable with. I had sent an invitation to Alice, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett, and had even stopped by William's house quickly while I knew him to be at work to drop an invitation in his mail box.

So Friday, I delicately stuffed my ball gown into a bag, loaded up my car with all my baked goods, and drove to work as usual in the morning. Kat was there waiting, wearing a beautiful black dress, black gloves and a pair of fluffy car ears on a headband.

"Black cat?" I asked with a smile. She nodded.

"I know it's not very inventive, but it's a bit of a tradition," she explained. "Where's your costume?"

"Couldn't fit into my car while wearing it. Help me get this stuff inside then I'll go change, and we can start decorating!"

It took a couple trips to do, but once my truck was emptied I took about a half hour in the washroom. After carefully sliding the dress over my head and tightening the corset properly, I attached my sash and did my hair before putting on my necklace and sliding on my gloves. I couldn't restrain my smile when I looked at the finished result. Mom would have loved this.

I went back out to find my boss sliding tables around the floor, and she gasped when she saw. I did a little pirouette for her, and loved the way the long skirt swished around me. She clapped happily, telling me she loved it, before we both set to work. It took hours to set up all of the tables, prizes, food and music system, and even though it was hard to maneuver around in my costume, it made it much more fun. We finished in the early afternoon, and since I couldn't really fit into a chair, I pulled a big cushion out of one of the couches and sat down on the floor with a book to pass the afternoon.

* * *

**William**

_Just come upstairs already_, Alice thought. Isabelle was lying across from her on her stomach on her enormous bed, a small smile on her face as she thumbed through a catalogue. I could hear the faint, soft sound of her heartbeat through the ceiling above me. I wanted to go up and join them so badly, but I just couldn't. I had felt her guilt, and more importantly seen it in her face. I could still feel her hot, soft hand on my cheek. I knew that she saw everything in that moment, I could feel that she did. Isabelle new that I was in love with her, so much that I was willing to end her life to keep her by my side forever. And she said no.

"_Jacob gave his life to save me from becoming a vampire. I won't let that be in vain. I just can't give up my humanity, I'm sorry."_

The guilt she felt as she watched my heart break clearly through my eyes was excruciating. That was one of the amazing things about her though, the strength of the emotions she felt was beyond human. Her finality in the subject was firm, and I knew that she would never be swayed.

The thought of choosing for her had been brief, but the fact that it had even gone through my mind was proof enough that I didn't deserve to even be in her presence. I knew I would have to see her eventually, she was truly part of my family now. They were all determined to take her with us the next time we had to move and enjoy the short time that she would stay on this earth. But for now I just couldn't. I couldn't meet those knowing eyes.

That was only part of it though. My entire family knew the rest, and they were right in saying that I needed to tell her. It was wrong to keep the fact that I had murdered her birth father from her. It was my duty to tell her, this had nothing to do with the rest of my family. Though he had been a horrible man and I still believed he deserved worse that what I had done to him for the crime he committed, he was still her father, the only blood relative she had had left.

So this was all I had. Though I couldn't look at her through my own eyes it was impossible for me to stay away from her, so I watched her through the eyes of my family. I bet that she could feel me here, but it could have been any one of my relatives.

Another problem. I couldn't even get close enough to watch her myself without them. I couldn't go near her house without her knowing. And ever since the night of her birthday the effects seemed to be getting stronger. Jasper was having more and more trouble using his gift on her. It was getting harder and harder for him to sense her emotions, and even more difficult to affect them. Alice had never been able to see her very well, but the visions she was able to have of her were getting more and more infrequent. It was like she was just fading away, and it worried my family.

I listened to her footsteps as she walked down to the main floor and washed her hands, curious as to why she hadn't just used the sink in Alice's washroom. Rosalie turned away when she looked at her_. She hates me, she must. She probably thinks I hate _her_. God, what am I supposed to say to her? Thanks for not wanting to kill yourself cause I'm super jealous?_ I watched Isabelle through Emmett's eyes as she took in Rose's body language and her neutral, impassive polite mask took over her face before apologizing and running back upstairs.

"Babe, you should just apologize and get it over with, she thinks you hate her."

"I know that, I just don't know how to do it." She looked up at him sadly, and he hated seeing that look on her face. His angel, his saviour, the love of his existence. He pulled her forward, kissing her roughly, and I quickly pulled out of their minds. I sighed sadly when Isabelle asked if they could hang out at her house.

At least I had my work. With the loss of three Doctors, one retirement and two transfers, I practically lived in the building. It kept me busy but my mind was always elsewhere. Wondering what she was doing, if she ever thought about me. I had half hoped that she would call me to try and schedule another piano lesson, but she never picked up the phone. She never asked about me or mentioned my name around the others and that was all the confirmation I needed.

Until one day she did. I was horrified to find out that she had almost fallen off of her roof, but thankfully Alice had had one of her rare visions of her and gotten there in time. I didn't even know about it until the next day when I had stopped by the main house. Alice was carrying a sewing machine down the stairs when I came in, and I asked her what it was for.

"Isabelle wanted to borrow it to make some sort of costume. She won't even tell me what it is! God this is so frustrating. By the way, she asked about you yesterday."

"Really?" I had a small spark of hope as she showed me the memory. How she told her that I hadn't even called her since I cancelled our lesson.

"She misses you. You should just get it over with and tell her William. It's going to get worse the longer you wait."

"I know," I said quietly. "I just need a bit more time." She patted me on the shoulder and left.

* * *

It was one of the longest months of my life. Work didn't get any easier although we were able to hire one new doctor, and Isabelle seemed so busy that she hardly had time to see Alice. And when Alice couldn't see her, I couldn't watch her memories of her. I had come so close to going over to her house so many times, but could never make it past my driveway.

Having been away from her for so long made her scent seem that much stronger, and when I came home from work one day I was able to smell her as soon as I opened my car door. I followed the brief trail across my driveway and up to my mailbox before opening it and taking out the small envelope. There was a flyer for a charity even on Halloween that was being held at her work. They were trying to raise money for books for children, and it was open to the public. I flipped it over after reading the quick list of activities and found a short note written on the back.

_I know you've been really busy at work, but if you're free it would be really nice to see you. Even if you don't want to talk to me, it's for a really good cause. Think of the children William!  
Hope you're doing well- Isabelle_

I sat inside staring at her writing for the twelve hours before my next shift, and decided that I couldn't refuse the invitation.

* * *

"What if we're wearing the same costume? It would be terrible! Why couldn't she just tell me? Ah! This is all her fault," Alice said grumpily as we walked through the oddly crowded parking lot.

"I really doubt she'll be dressed as a salsa dancer," Rose told her with a smile. She was wearing a slightly inappropriate police officer costume, and Emmett couldn't take his hands off of her. The complete opposite of Esme who was, bless her soul, dressed as a nun. I couldn't help but smile every time I looked at her.

I was wearing a very old suit from the 1850's that I had borrowed from Carlisle, he couldn't come but we were about the same size. It was jet black with long tails, and I wore it with a golden yellow vest and bow tie with a white dress shirt. It was a little before my time but I had really enjoyed the fashion. Our group was attracting a lot of attention. Well, Rosalie was anyways.

"I'll be in in a minute," I told them, ushering them to go ahead of me.

"You better not bail," Alice hissed, before putting on a bright smile. They all went in together.

I'll go in, I will be polite, and if she agrees to talk to me I'll tell her everything. After taking a deep breath, I walked inside.

They didn't see her, the room was very crowded, but she was impossible to miss. Her hair was partially pinned up and cascading down her back in thick, soft curls. I watched her breathtaking smile as she snuck up on Alice. It was enchanting to watch, how her thick skirt swished around her when she moved. It tightened into a fitted corset that hugged her waist and chest, accentuating her curves and making her look even more fragile and beautiful then she usually did in her loose tops. A delicate lace sash wrapped around her shoulders and was joined by an antique-looking gold and emerald broach.

It was so fitting. The beauty, Belle, gliding around surround by her beloved books. I watched as her delicate arms, sheathed to the elbow in golden gloves, wrapped around Alice and hugged her.

I wanted those arms to wrap around me. I wanted to place my hands on her delicate waist and hold her. I was filled with determination. It wasn't a choice anymore, I had to have her. I _needed _to have her. I couldn't waste another moment of the short time she had left.

Alice looked at me with a brilliant smile, seeing what I wanted to do. Isabelle followed her gaze. She looked surprised for a moment, and her cheeks flushed into an alluring shade of pink as she gave me a happy smile.

At least it looked like a happy smile, Jasper couldn't feel her at all. It was like there was an empty hole of emotions where she stood.

Even the humans were intimidated by her beauty. Where she walked the crowd seemed to part for her automatically as she came towards me.

"I'm glad you came William. It's really nice to see you." Her mouth-watering scent crashed into me, causing flames to rip at my throat, but her beauty over-powered it.

"I couldn't stay away from you for another moment," I told her honestly in a deep voice. She raised a delicate eyebrow at me curiously. "You're so beautiful."

"You don't look so bad yourself," she said with a small smile. I took a step closer to her, a very large step. I could easily lean in and kiss those beautiful lips again. She didn't back away from me, but watched me curiously, like she was searching for something in my eyes. The music changed, and I held out my hand, leaning in close to her and giving her my most powerful smile.

"May I have this dance?" I asked her.

"I can't dance." She didn't look away, and it wasn't an actual refusal. Good enough for me.

I took her hand gently. "It's okay. I can."

I led her out to the middle of the room, and once again the crowed parted for her. She didn't belong here, in this old building decorated in cheesy spider webs and pumpkins, she belong in a castle, in a marble ball room being worshiped like a queen. She didn't pull away, I felt her hand squeeze onto mine, and I wanted to rip off those gloves so that I could feel the electric tingle of her skin on mine. I stopped, spinning her towards me and raising our entwined hands as I place my other on her tiny waist. The heat of her skin radiated through her corset. She gasped a little at the fast movement, but she didn't look away from my eyes as I lead her in a classical waltz as soon as the music changed. I blocked out all of the minds of those who watched us, and there was no one else in the room except for her. She let me spin her around, and when I lifted her up to twirl her she let out the most entrancing, beautiful laugh. She was light as air in my arms. By the time the song ended, her face was flushed, her smile dazzling, and she seemed completely shocked when the room broke into applause. The music went to something more modern, and others joined us on the now established dance floor. I lifted her hands, placing them on my shoulders as I wrapped both of mine around her waist.

"I really didn't think you would come," she whispered, knowing I would be able to hear. "I thought you didn't want to see me anymore."

"I thought you wouldn't want to see _me_ anymore."

"How could you possibly think that?"

"Because I wanted to make you like me. Because you said you didn't want to join us."

She looked at me with sad eyes for a moment, and I held her just a little bit closer. "Maybe we should talk outside."

I nodded, and followed closely behind her as she led me out of the building. Esme and Alice gave us a worried look. Once we were alone, she stopped and turned to look at me. I wanted so badly to pull her back into my arms, but without the excuse from the music, I didn't feel quite as brave. This was important, I couldn't afford to scare her away right now. "Just because I don't want to become like you are, doesn't mean that I don't want to be around you. Alice and the others seem fine with it, and we were fine before all of this came out. Why does it have to change my friendship with you?"

She was right. Really, nothing has changed. For her. She never said she didn't want to be around me, she said she didn't want to be like me. "There's something that I have to tell you. I couldn't bring myself to even be in your presence because I don't deserve to. I've been putting it off because I'm afraid that once I do, I'll never see you again."

"Well, here we are. Just tell me and we'll find out." Her voice was gentle, and her face was calm as she spoke the words. It isn't fair that she a silent mind and such an un-readable face.

"When you lived in Seattle, after you were thrown down the stairs, you know that Carlisle is the one that operated on you."

"How did you know that?" She asked in surprise, her voice was uncomfortable.

"Because Carlisle-"

"No. How did you know that I was thrown?" I paused, realizing I had gotten caught in my first sentence, but this was part of the story. "There is only one person in the world who I have ever told that to." Her voice was an almost angry hiss.

I tried to word it properly, losing my momentum. Her face once again took on the neutral, patient mask. "My kind... the blood of every human smells different to each of us, some stronger than others. There is a rare type, for centuries they've been called 'Singers,' because the pull, the attraction to it is so strong that it's as if it's singing to your soul. I was supposed to be the one operating on you that day. When you came it, bleeding all over the place, I almost killed you right there. My family was able to get me away from you, and as soon as I was in clean air, I was completely enraged with myself. How could I have almost killed this young, completely defenceless and dying child that needed my help?

But as I was running away, I ran into a man whose thought's caught my attention. Because it was your face I saw in his mind. I watched the memory play. The argument, how you stood your ground and looked at him defiantly in determination, and what he did. In a fit of rage, I ran forward and broke his neck. Alice was too late in stopping me, and I had to set it up to look like an accident."

Her shock didn't even show on her face. Was this something that she somehow knew already too? She just stared at me silently for minutes. I had no words left though, there was nothing I could change. I just hung my head in shame and waited.

It had been five minutes and seventeen seconds of painful silence. "I forgive you." I looked up at her quiet words, and stared at her in confusion. She gave me a sad smile when she realized that I couldn't seem to find any words. "You say you saw what he did to me?" I nodded. "That wasn't the first time he had hurt me, by far William. That man wasn't my father, I lived in fear of him for eight years before you met him. If you hadn't done what you did, it wouldn't have been the last time he hurt me either."

"But I made you an orphan, it's because of me that-"

She silenced me my putting one of her small, gloved hands on my arm. "I forgive you William. I'd be lying if I said my life was easy after that, but it was still better than being subjected to living with him for another two years. It's a horrible thing to say, but I've never missed him a day in my life. I don't hold this against you."

"Thank you Isabelle. And I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."

She smiled again. "You don't have to say anything. Though…"

"What?" Of course there is something else, this is too good to be true.

"Is that why you left Forks just before I moved there? Because of my blood?"

"Yes."

"Isn't it hard then? Being around me?"

"It was at first, but I love you more than the smell of your blood now."

Those words just came out, without any thought at all. I saw the pain in her eyes, those always careful eyes. "William. This really isn't fair to you. I… I care about you, but I'm always going to be in love with Jacob. Maybe it would be better if we didn't-"

"What if I'm okay with that?" No, it wouldn't be better if we didn't see each other anymore. Even if all she allowed me was her friendship, I couldn't bear the thought of not being in her life. I would give her anything she wanted. She looked at me uncertainly. "You know how I feel about you, I would never deny it. And it will never change. But I won't ask anything from your other than to keep me in your life. I will give you anything you want, anything in the world, just to include me in yours." The guilt in her face was so transparent. She was too good. I stepped closer to her, and wrapped my hands delicately around the tops of her arms. "_Please_."

She gave me one small nod, and it was enough to make my heart fly. I wrapped my arms around her and she let me hold her for a long moment before speaking. "I'm sorry, but I am technically still working right now, I have to go back inside."

I let her go and gave her a happy smile before she turned and walked inside, still wearing that look of guilt.

My family had heard the entire conversation, and Esme especially was smiling grandly at me. There were no more secrets now, and she hadn't turned us away.

And there was a chance. I know she loved him, but she said she cared about me. I had felt it once before, the last time I had seen her. That little spark of affection that she felt solely for me. It was different from the way she cared about the rest of my family, and I had her entire life to work on strengthening it.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her the entire evening while she worked. She greeted and chatted with that gentle, polite smile that she always wore, and it was so frustrating, not only for me but Jasper as well, that we didn't know what she was actually feeling. She filled drinks, picked up empty plates, and tended to her other tasks.

Her boss, one of my patients actually, was working even harder. Too hard, I thought worriedly, she wasn't supposed to be pushing herself like this. She dashed around the room taking donations, trying to keep rowdy guests in line, protecting her beloved literature and entertaining. She tired herself out so much that she ended up losing her voice, and had to ask Isabelle to announce the winners of the silent auction.

It was harder for me than it was for her, watching her up there on the small platform.

The only sign she showed of her discomfort was the bright shade of red on her cheeks and the slight shake in her hands as she gripped the paper. Her voice was strong and clear as she spoke, but even through its gentleness it held an air, a strength that demand attention. She was captivating, and I wasn't nearly the only man that thought so. Jasper had to put a comforting, and restraining hand on my arm to keep me composed and flooded me with calm. It did nothing to drown out the angering thoughts.

Once she was done announcing the winners, she practically fled the platform and I made sure to be the first person to reach her, smiling slightly that my presence alone was able to deflect the other men who had the same intention.

If they were too weak to fight for her, then they didn't deserve her company. She looked relieved to see me there, putting a gentle hand on my arm and leaning forward while she let out a shaky breath. "Oh my god, that has to be the most painfully embarrassing thing I've ever done in my life," she said with a laugh. I was so distracted by the fact that she was just touching me so casually. She smiled, then looked shocked as she pulled her hand away from me, like she hadn't even realized that she had reached out. Blood flooded her cheeks again, and she slipped off her gloves and started fanning herself with them. We were joined by Alice and Jasper.

Alice danced to her side, stepping into the space between her and I and looping her arm through Isabelle's. She seemed to relax as she leaned into Alice with a smile.

"Belle! It's so perfect. I can't believe you made this, where-" Alice didn't notice immediately, but I had been staring into her eyes when she used the name and saw the flinch of pain. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, sorry." She smiled again, the sad look replaced with a happy one. "It's silly. That was kind of my nickname back if Forks, everyone always called me that. It's just been so long since I've heard it. Even with the costume, you're the first person to say it tonight," she said with an embarrassed grin.

"I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"No no, it's really okay. It's nice hearing it again."

"Good! Because I _see_ it sticking. But I can't believe you made this, you did such an amazing job. I especially love the broach."

"Thank you Alice. The broach was my mother's actually, she got it from her grandmother so my… great great grandmother. Want to hear something cool?"

"Of course!"

She leaned in close to her with an excited smile, "I told them I wouldn't sell the broach, but I just sold the dress to someone for three-thousand dollars."

"What! Why?"

She frowned. "For the charity of course, I hadn't listed it but apparently the woman wants to use it as a costume for some TV show. Oh, it's going to buy so many books… Oh there's my boss! I'll be right back, I just want to tell her." She dashed across the room, and I cringed as she almost tripped over her skirt. We watched as her boss practically cried when she told her, pulling her into a hug.

"I would have paid ten easily," Alice said in a growl, making us laugh. I was disappointed too, I wanted to see her wear it again.

* * *

**Isabelle**

The building started to clear out as it got late, and after I said good bye to Alice and the others I scanned the room for William. He was watching me with a small smile, but his gaze suddenly flashed to the other side of the room where my boss was leaning against the wall. The three of us were the only ones in the room, and he flashed to her side. I ran over to join them.

"Katharine, I've told you before that you can't do long shifts like this. You should go lie down before you give yourself a stroke," he said in a worried tone.

"No no, I'll be fine, it won't take long to-"

"It's okay Kat, I can do the cleanup, really. It won't take me long."

"No, I couldn't-"

"Katharine, as your Doctor I'm ordering you to bed rest immediately."

"She just lives next door, can you walk her home William?"

"Of course. Come on, let's get you out of here." I watched with a worried expression as he wrapped an arm around her waist and slowly led her out. Once they were gone, I grabbed a bag and started picking up trash. I heard the door open when he came back fifteen minutes later. I went to run to him, but in the blink of an eye he was right in front of me.

"Is she okay? What's wrong with her?"

He gave me a sad smile. "Yes, she'll be fine. She's one of my patients, and gets sick from one of her medications sometimes. She'll be fine after a bit of rest."

I sighed in relief. I didn't know she was taking medication for anything, and of course I couldn't ask him why she was taking something. I would make sure to keep a closer eye on her though. "Thank you William. You can head out too if you want, I totally lied when I said this wasn't going to take long."

"If you don't mind, I'd really like to stay and help."

I laughed, "Sure, if you really want to." He followed me over to my box of trash bags, and I handed him one while I started clearing the first table in the corner. I picked up all of the empty plates and garbage, throwing them into the bag, then washed the table. I turned around to do the next one, and was shocked. It was sparking clean.

I turned around, and stared in disbelief. I couldn't have been working on that table for more than three minutes, and in that time William had already picked up every single piece of trash in the room. I stared with an amused smile as he flashed across the room, putting all the tables back to where they had been this morning. He was moving too fast for me to even see, and I couldn't help but laugh. The sound seemed to freeze him, and he looked surprised to find me watching him.

He smiled. "Now that didn't take long at all, did it?"

"Very impressive. I'll give you a call next time I need to rake leaves," I said jokingly. He appeared by my side, taking the garbage bag out of my hand.

"So, now that this is all done, are you free for the evening?"

It was the least I could do, after he saved me a couple hours of cleaning. That hopeful look in his eyes set that feeling of guilt in my stomach once more though. "Sure, just give me a second to get changed."

"Why?" It looked like the idea upset him, and I couldn't help but smile slightly.

"Because I can't fit through my truck door in this dress. I'll be right back."

It was a bit of a lie, it took some time to loosen the corset enough to be able to slip it off. I got changed back into my Jeans and t-shirt, and threw on my sweater before pulling my hair back into a ponytail. I hung the dress up carefully on the coat rack in the office, and went out to find him leaning against the wall casually. All of the garbage bags were gone. He followed me outside and I locked the doors behind us before walking to the parking lot.

"Where's your car?"

"I got a lift over with Alice, I had just planned on running home," he said casually. So I led him over to my truck and drove over to my place.

Despite all of the baking I had done, I quickly realized I hadn't eaten anything today during the short drive home. William made himself comfortable on my couch while I made myself a sandwich, and I sat down to join him. He was eying the picture on my mantle. It was a group picture of my entire pack; Leah, Seth, Embry, Paul, Quil and Claire, Sam hugging Emily, and Jake holding me in his arms in the center of the group. We all were in our bathing suits, smiling grandly as Billy took the picture.

"You all look so close," he stated.

"We were, they're my family," I told him sadly. "I miss them all, every day."

"Why did you leave?" He asked me gently, cautiously.

"It was too hard, after Jacob died. I had planned on going back eventually, so our child would know his family. But after I lost him… I felt too ashamed. My child would have been their next leader, and it became apparent that no one I cared about was safe around me anymore. I love them too much to risk them being hurt. They're safer without me there." I looked over at him then, watching me with a pained expression.

My heart clenched painfully. They told me they didn't want me to leave, even with the knowledge of my curse, but it was no one's fault but my own for staying. Would these vampires be strong enough to survive being around me? Was I really selfish enough to risk it, just to not be alone?

He was next to me in a flash, so close he was almost touching me. He spoke with deep conviction, "You won't lose us Isabelle. You don't need to be worried about our safety." I shook my head, but couldn't seem to speak. "No, don't you dare think of trying to leave us because you think it's for our own good or any nonsense like that. Because we will just track you down and drag you back."

He said it in a joking tone, but I could see in his eyes that he was completely serious.

"Okay," I whispered. He watched me closely for a long moment before nodding. He must have noticed that I became a little uncomfortable from the proximity, because he slid back to his previous spot and flicked on the TV. I tried to concentrate on finishing my sandwich.

**Yes, fluffy chapter I know, but I had to get that out of the way. I'm going to be out of town for the next week, so I won't be able to post a chapter next Friday. (I'll try for Sunday.) Take care, and thanks for reading!**


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